Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I am a textual poacher having fun with the charcters.

I watched as the human closed her notebook, gathering her things together as the lecture ended. I had been sitting five rows behind her for two hours and my gaze hadn't wavered for an instant. Countless scenarios had been considered and rejected while my thirst ripped and scorched my throat. Ceasing to breathe had provided a small measure of relief, but the memory of her scent had my instincts raging.

The lecture hall was a hive of activity, and I relaxed my restraint enough to taste the air before immediately regretting it. The human's scent beckoned to me like nothing ever had before. I tried to listen in on her thoughts again, but it seemed that her mind was still a locked door to me. I was intrigued, thirsty and confused by her scent and silence. Decades of enduring endless voices, battling the need for control over my thirst and a sense of denial, and now those elements were combined in one fragile, mortal little body. I couldn't give in to one without destroying the other.

The other students stood and made their way down the stairs towards the exit. I watched as she slung her bag over her shoulder and stood, clutching her notebook to her chest in a protective gesture as the man – boy, I decided after a moment's consideration – tried to keep her in place as he pressed his suit. I leaned forward in my seat to catch her expression of polite exasperation as she turned and shook her head with a smile, and I found myself smiling in response. He didn't get the message. His thoughts were disappointed, but already he was thinking of other strategies to try to win her attention the next time he saw her.

At least I knew her name now. Bella. The boy had been rehearsing all manner of ways to ask her out for most of the lecture. She was biting her lip now, giving him a measure of polite attention as he fumbled for more words.

Maybe a cd of some music she might like …

He invited her to join him for a coffee, but she shook her head again and she made her way along the row, out into the aisle to walk down the stairs towards the exit. I watched her leave, my fists still clenched against my thighs. The door closed behind her, leaving only the heady traces of her scent and what promised to be a massive problem for my latest incarnation. I gathered up my books and strolled down the aisle, following the last of the students. A couple of them looked over their shoulders, and at the sight of my glower quickened their steps to stay ahead of me.

What's his problem?

Gives me the creeps …

I emerged into the corridor and took a deep breath. I could still smell her on the breeze, but thankfully the concentration of her scent was being dissipated in the open air. I tightened my grip on my textbook, sighing as I heard the spine snap, and made my way out of the building into the open air. The further I could get away from her the better. I wondered why I hadn't heard from Alice, given I'd been considering all manner of scenarios to either get the human alone so that I could drain her dry, or trying to decide if I was going to have to find a way to avoid her altogether to protect my family.

I could still smell her. I stopped breathing again, and set off to find the others.

It didn't take long. Alice had chosen a seat at one of the outdoor tables in deep shade. In spite of the morning's tension, I had to grin at her prudence, special abilities notwithstanding. She was talking in earnest tones to Jasper, who was listening with a faint smile. There were lines of tension around his eyes that I could see as I approached, although his eyes were still golden which I knew she would take comfort from. I knew that my own eye colour would do otherwise. Alice looked up at my approach, and waved me over. The gesture was unnecessary of course, but we had trained ourselves to adopt human mannerisms to help us blend in.

"Edward, I'm so sorry-," she began, but I waved her off as I took a seat.

"No blood, no foul. Everyone survived," I said, nodding as Jasper gave me a grimace of sympathy.

"Only just," Alice said, shaking her head. "I didn't even think to look at your-,"

I cut her off again. "Alice it's okay."

"And here I was thinking I was the liability of the day," Jasper said in a dry tone, moving to wrap a comforting arm around Alice's shoulder.

Alice's head snapped up as she glared at him. "Are we going to have that conversation again?"

Jasper sighed, flickering a wink at me, "No, sweetheart."

"Good," she subsided against him, and then studied me again. "How bad was it?"

I shoved my books out the way to lean my elbows on the table, feeling weary. "How much did you see?"

"All of it," she whispered. "There was so much-," her voice trailed off as she gave Jasper a sidelong glance.

"It's okay Alice, been there, done that, getting better," Jasper said, brushing a kiss against her temple. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow in silent query, and I nodded my head in agreement. Whilst Jasper and I had very different histories, our diets had converged in ways that neither of us were proud of. The path to redemption was a long one for both of us.

Jasper gave me a direct look. "So, just how bad was it?"

"I don't think I've ever wanted a human more in my life," I admitted.

"So what stopped you?" Jasper asked, giving Alice an exasperated look as she swatted his shoulder with the flat of her hand. "Come on, it's a valid question."

"Be that as it may," Alice glared, "it's a mean thing to say," she paused and cocked her head, "but I'll got along with it. What stopped you?"

"Nothing," I shrugged.

Jasper's forehead wrinkled, "but you didn't-,"

"I mean what stopped me was literally, nothing. Her mind is a closed book."

Jasper looked sceptical. "You mean there's nothing much going on?"

I shook my head. "I mean I can't hear her, she's completely silent." I drew an idle pattern on the wooden tabletop, then gave a mental curse as I realised I'd used a fraction too much pressure. There in the wooden surface, for all the world to see was the beginning of a cursive letter 'B'. I smoothed it out, but not before Alice gave me a knowing smile.

"You'll be seeing her again soon," Alice said in a confident tone. "You'll be-," her voice trailed off as her eyes stared into the future, "yes, you'll be fine."

I didn't argue. Alice's abilities gave her a level of certainty that we all relied on.

"Do you want to see?" she offered, raising an eyebrow at me. It had taken me decades of restraint before I had achieved some semblance of privacy from the thoughts of others, my family included. At best, their thoughts were a dull murmur in the background which I tried to ignore unless invited, or the thoughts themselves were either too strident or were deliberately directed at me. As soon as she had asked the question the images began to flicker in my mind.

I didn't want to look, but my own curiosity got the better of me.

Alice could be quite cunning when she wanted to be, and it seemed that today was going to be no exception. All I saw was my own face, although it was an image I didn't recognise at first.

I was laughing. I looked happy.

"Alice?" I whispered, look over to see her twirling a strand of short hair around her finger. "I need more than that."

"No, I don't think you do," Alice replied, fixing my eyes with a golden stare. "And don't try to go snooping in my head either," she went on, waving an admonishing finger at me, making Jasper's eyes dance with amusement.

"I'll try," I muttered, running my fingers over the tabletop again, watching the wood smooth under my fingertips.

"C'mon," Jasper remonstrated, reaching over to cover Alice's hand with his own, "you look all the time, why can't he?"

"Well," Alice shrugged, "just because I can't experience surprises doesn't mean that Edward has to miss out. I think this is going to be good for him."

"You think?" I said, sceptical.

"I know," she clarified, "so far anyway," she amended, giving me another hard look. "If you can keep control."

"I'll try," I replied. "I have to."

Jasper leaned forward a little, his expression curious. "What was it like," he jerked his head to indicate the direction I'd come from, "when you were in there?"

I thought back to the lecture, and the taste of her scent on my tongue. My throat burned again. Jasper's breath was a sharp hiss between his teeth, and Alice gave him a sharp nudge with her foot. His eyes had gone black, an instinctive reaction to the intensity of my thirst.

"How," his voice was a rasp as he fought for control, "how could anyone resist something like that?"

Alice was rubbing her hand on Jasper's forearm now, shooting me a warning glance as he tried to get himself under control. The breeze had picked up around us, carrying the scents of the other humans that had decided to take a chance on the mild weather and sit outdoors. It took a considerable conscious effort to block the memory of her; her scent, her warmth, the sound of her heartbeat. Instead I focussed on my own moral compass, his golden eyes warm with compassion over the centuries, his immovable faith in me that I appreciated but still couldn't understand.

The image of Carlisle in my mind's eye grounded me, and my throat relaxed somewhat, and with it, so did Jasper. The two of us exchanged a long gaze.

"Now you know how I resisted," I said, "I had to. For all of us."

"We'll see," Alice replied.

A/N: I know it's a short chapter, but given I'm working on two entirely different stories at the same time, I just don't have it in me to write epic chapters for both! Having said that, the chapter length of this story will no doubt pick up as it progresses. Baby steps ..

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