Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, just me doing my usual 'what if' caper.
SLCh24
Emmett and Jasper had all but ordered the rest of us out of the building while they disposed of James' body. Emmett had been the main surprise, taking care of obliterating any evidence with ruthless efficiency with no sign of his jovial nature to be seen. Jasper had been under considerable strain with the heightened emotions in the room, but Alice had taken him by the hands and had spoken to him in a fierce whisper. He had nodded once and then ceded control of the situation to his younger brother. With constant reassurance from his mate he was able to function despite the fresh human blood in the room and my obvious euphoria at its taste. Alice had flickered me a glance when I had cradled Bella's limp from in my arms and stood, but otherwise had kept her attention on Jasper.
"Edward."
I looked up to see Carlisle and what he was holding in his hands.
"Are you sure?"
"No." His admission was simple. "There's no way of knowing if morphine will do anything to ease the pain, but we have to try."
I looked down at Bella. Even though she was unconscious she still twitched and whimpered as her body waged war against the venom that was restructuring her system. Would morphine be able to ease the transition, or would the venom metabolise it along with anything else it encountered? The odds weren't in our favour but if it spared even a fraction of Bella's pain it was worth a try.
"Do it."
Carlisle administered the injection as gently as he could, even though we both knew that the pinprick of the needle would be inconsequential to anything else she might be feeling.
Emmett was coaxing the flames into a steady blaze as he threw on a leg with the ease of a man tossing a log onto a campfire. Tracking movement from the corner of his eye he saw a dismembered hand inching towards its matching fellow, and kicked it into the fire with a grin of satisfaction.
"Get outta here, Edward. We'll finish up," he instructed.
"Where are the others?" I asked, shifting Bella in my arms as her head lolled back.
"Ben was unconscious and Angela's in shock. Rosalie's watching them but they haven't seen her. I figure we've only got a few minutes before someone raises the alarm."
"Right," I nodded at this and then looked for Carlisle. He made an incongruous sight. Alice and Jasper worked with Emmett making sure every scrap of the nomad was in the fire, their expressions solemn as they paced around staring at the floor as they searched. Meanwhile Carlisle was standing at one of the laboratory sinks, his shirtsleeves shoved up as his elbows as he fastidiously scrubbed away any trace of blood.
"Come on Edward, you've got to get Bella home," he urged as he dried his arms and pulled down his sleeves, making himself presentable once more. When he was straightened up he looked as unflappable as ever.
"What about you?"
"Getting out of here is the main thing and then I'll need to be present at the hospital when Ben's brought in. I'll defuse the situation as much as I can. Alice?" Carlisle looked at his daughter who was staring at the flames with a slight frown.
"It'll be okay, we can make the fire look like a problem with the gas connection here," Alice replied as she reached for Jasper's hand.
"And the others?" Carlisle was still worried.
"It's all in a state of flux but ultimately I think we'll be in the clear." Alice frowned and 'looked harder', and her expression turned sorrowful. "Poor Bella," she said with soft regret.
"Why, what's wrong?" The genuine pain in her voice made me anxious, and I heard Jasper hiss in the background, followed by a firm 'steady' from Emmett.
"She's dead," Alice announced.
I flinched at this and looked at the still warm body in my arms.
"Not yet," Alice soothed, "but to all intents and purposes she will be."
And now I understood Alice's regret on Bella's behalf. There had been no time for goodbyes.
o * o * o * o * o
Bella had regained consciousness briefly when we got her back home. Her wakefulness precluded a bout of vomiting as her body purged itself of any vestige of her human life. Groaning she had tried to push me away from her humiliation, not understanding that the actions of her body were utterly blameless.
It was Esme and Rosalie who had stepped in, brisk and efficient to tend to her needs and dignity. Bella, crying and almost incoherent with pain had watched me as I was lovingly but firmly ushered out of the room by Esme. The last thing I saw before the door closed had been Rosalie smoothing Bella's matted hair off her forehead with the ghost of a smile that hinted at sisterhood.
I was standing in the corridor as they had left me when Rosalie reappeared moments later with a bag containing Bella's soiled clothing and wearing a pinched expression.
"I didn't expect this of you," I admitted.
"Neither did I," she replied, "but if she's willing to go through this then-," she broke off and gave an eloquent shrug.
Out of all of us, Bella was the only one who had entered into the bargain with some knowledge, even if that information was like trying to explain colour to a blind man.
"Emmett told her what it's really like," Rosalie volunteered.
"He did?" I was surprised. "I didn't think he could remember much."
"He remembers more than he cares to admit."
"And then some," Emmett added as he appeared at the top of the stairs. He nodded towards the door. "How is she?"
"As expected," Rosalie replied before I could.
"It's happening?" Emmett's honest face creased in confusion. "She's so quiet."
"Tell me about it," I sighed. "I don't know if that's better or worse."
"That's our girl," Emmett ventured, "always doing the unexpected."
"Let's not forget that it's doing the unexpected that got her in this mess in the first place," I shot back. My guilt at the situation had me lashing out which Emmett bore with his usual grace.
"Right, exactly where we all wanted her; becoming one of the family." Emmett shook his head at the door with a rueful grin. "Not a sound; Carlisle's going to be so proud."
"Where are the others?" I asked as Rosalie eased past us to take the clothes away to be disposed of.
"They're at the hospital with Carlisle. Alice saw that Jasper would be able to help calm things down some."
"Right," I nodded. "Any news?"
"Seems to be okay. The fire's out on campus and anything suspicious will be blamed on vandalism. It's the other factor I'm worried about," Emmett crossed his arms over his massive chest and leaned against the wall.
"Victoria," I sighed. "That's definitely a problem. She's not going to stop until she's avenged her mate."
"They were mated? Aw man," Emmett's face contorted at this as if I had just presented him with a fresh set of problems. "Bad enough that she's lost her hunting buddy but he was her mate? Seriously Edward, what is it about you that pissed them off so much in the first place?"
"Where do I start?" Rosalie muttered as she brushed past us and into the bedroom without a backward glance.
From downstairs I heard the front door close and then Alice appeared in front of me.
"Have I missed much?" Her eyes were sparkling as she glanced at the still closed door.
"You tell me," I grunted.
"It's going well, and I'm just in time for dress-up," Alice pronounced with satisfaction after a brief pause.
"What are the odds," Emmett muttered under his breath with a grin.
"How are Angela and Ben?" I asked as Alice chose to ignore Emmett's teasing jibe.
"They're both okay, Ben was beaten up some because they were rough with him to get his cooperation and Angela's fine."
"How rough?" I frowned at this. Ben was a good person who had done nothing to deserve being thrust into this situation.
"Broken ankle, concussion and contusions. He was more freaked out about Angela and Bella."
"How much do they know?"
"Here's the thing," Alice paused. "Ben never knew Bella got into the building, and Angela was so confused and traumatised that she can't give an adequate account of what happened. She's asking for Bella, though and the authorities haven't told her that they're still looking."
"Of course," I gave a morose nod at this. Soon Bella's physical pain would end, only for the emotional pain to begin. She would have to distance herself from the people she held dear. Unless she did that she would have to watch everyone she loved grow old and die while she stayed forever young.
Edward, that's enough.
It was Jasper, looking more tired than I had seen in a long time. The strain of the day was clearly taking its toll. Emmett reached out and grabbed Jasper for a bear hug that he submitted to with good humour.
"Stop worrying about what might happen," he sighed as Emmett released him. He reached my side and clapped his hand on my shoulder in a gesture of solidarity.
"That's my job," Alice chimed in as she offered herself up to Jasper for a kiss, which he accepted readily. "Baby you need to hunt."
"We all do," he agreed.
"Let me finish up with Bella and then we'll go." She shot me a look as I stepped towards the door. "Let us get her ready, Edward, and then she's all yours."
I gritted my teeth. My patience was stretched to its very limits.
"What's a few more hours against forever?" Jasper asked in a quiet tone, soothing me as he spoke as Alice disappeared, closing the door behind her with a decisive 'click'.
And so it was the three of us left waiting in the corridor in suspense as the women went about their task. All we could hear was the swish of damp sponges and then the rasp of cotton against bare skin.
"The suspense is killing me," Emmett ventured at last. "I don't know how Rosie did it."
"Neither do I," I admitted.
Edward you can come in now.
Esme had barely finished the invitation and I was inside the room and at Bella's side in an instant. Bella had been lovingly washed and dressed, and now looked as if she was ready to rise from her slumber and go straight to a soiree.
"What have you done?" I was outraged.
"What are you talking about?" Alice replied. She looks beautiful.
"Of course she is," I waved a hand at the silken folds encasing Bella's too-still body, "but she never dresses like this."
"She will one day," Alice was stubborn.
"Granted, but she'll have enough to adjust to when she opens her eyes without this." I sat on the foot of the bed and gently plucked at the thin leather strap of the sparkling diamante stiletto sandal. Easing the shoes off Bella's unresisting feet I handed them over to Alice who took them with a sigh.
"Anything else? Want me to get some jeans and a lumberjack shirt while we're at it?"
"Alice," Esme chided, watching as
"Okay, I'll be good," Alice subsided with a nod, plucking at Bella's hem. "Guess there's nothing left to do but wait.
Taking her at her word, I turned my attention back to Bella and began my vigil.
o * o * o * o * o
Esme tells me you haven't moved all day.
In the last three days the family had stayed in and around the immediate vicinity of the house, leaving only to hunt. They had all taken it in turns to try to coax me away from Bella's side but I had refused to budge. Carlisle's hand rested on my shoulder as he stood beside me and considered his patient.
"Not long now," he commented. "She's so quiet," he marvelled as he stepped into the room and ran a gentle hand along Bella's unmoving arm. I shifted in my seat, curbing my over-protective instinct to reach over and bat his hand away.
Bella was no longer warm to the touch as her body's internal systems were shutting down. The agony of my own transformation didn't have the clarity of the perfect recall I now possessed, but I would do anything to ease it for Bella. She had whimpered when moved but after that had made no sound at all. Other than the occasional clench of her fists as she gripped at the end of the bed or at my hands I would have no indication as to what she was feeling. The small gestures I could detect however, didn't make me feel any better.
"How do you think she's going?" I asked.
"Listen," Carlisle encouraged. The room was silent but for the frantic drumming of Bella's heartbeat.
"Ah," Carlisle said, "it's almost over."
As if on cue Alice appeared in the room and stood at the foot of the bed, cocking her head to one side as she regarded the tableaux.
"She's getting clearer now. She's going to be dazzling."
"She always was before," I growled.
"You know what I mean," Alice replied as she stepped closer to the bed and reached out to take my hand. "Look at her."
She dropped her shields and showed me a glimpse of our future.
"Oh," I could hear the tone of wonder in my voice. "She really is going to be fine."
"Of course she is."
"You weren't quite so sanguine earlier."
"There were a lot of blank spots earlier. She's ridiculously clear to me now."
"Can you concentrate for me? On the clock – give me an estimate."
Alice sighed. "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec-"
"Thank you Alice," I replied as I settled one of Bella's hands in my own. "Not long now, love," I whispered.
As if in response Bella's faltering heartbeat began to pick up speed. I gripped at her hands, trying to will away the pain.
"She'll be fine, Edward," Carlisle encouraged, "I've never heard anything so vital." Perhaps the morphine worked. His mental thoughts were flavoured with hope that he may have in some way spared pain for the woman he already thought of as his daughter.
"I'll get the others," Alice said and promptly disappeared to gather the rest of the family.
"Is it time?" Esme inquired in a soft voice from the doorway, the rest of my family standing behind her.
I nodded but didn't take my eyes off Bella.
Emmett eased himself around Esme to walk towards the bed, watching her with a blend of curiosity and reverence.
"Is this what you remember when it was my time?" He asked Rosalie in a whisper without taking his gaze of Bella.
"It was worse," Rosalie admitted as she stepped forward herself to take Emmett's hand. "You were louder," she admitted with a wry smile.
Emmett flickered a glance at me before he leaned forward and brushed a kiss against Bella's temple, the gesture all the more gentle considering his size.
"See you soon, baby sister," he whispered before straightening up.
Alice watched us all with a sad smile that I now understood in a flash of clarity. She had no memory of her change; whoever had infected her with their venom had not lingered to see the consequences. She had been discarded, left to wake up with a raging thirst and no memory of who or where she was. Jasper put an arm around Alice's shoulders to pull her to his side in a reassuring hug. Alice blinked, and the melancholy in the room dispersed.
Bella's heart was beating so fast now it sounded like a single, sustained note. Her body was pouring the last of its fuel into this final surge. Her back arched, bowing off the bed. At last her heart sounded with a hollow-sounding thud, stuttered twice and then just once more. There was no sound. No breathing. Just a brief pause before she opened her eyes and gazed up at us in wonder.
A fraction of a second later Bella had jumped from the bed and was huddled in the furthest corner of the room, hissing at the rest of my family who were gathered near the doorway.
"Bella," I stepped forward and held out an imploring hand. "It's okay."
Her gaze darted everywhere trying to take in everything at once. She cocked her head and looked at the window, getting distracted as she looked at the dust motes dancing in the air.
"Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting, but you're all right. Everything is fine." I tried again. When I had her attention again I moved towards her. When I was close enough I reached out to stroke my fingers across her cheek. She was warm again. It wasn't human warmth, but certainly an improvement on the coldness of death that had been clinging to her earlier.
She stood blinking at me for a nanosecond, long enough for me to wonder if she had understood what I had said, and then moved so quickly I barely had time to brace for impact. Her arms clamped around me so fiercely that I gave a mild grunt of protest, before wrapping my arms around her out of sheer reflex. At last there was no need to hold back, only this time she was stronger.
"Uh, Bella?" I ventured after a long moment. She looked up at the sound of my voice and I offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile but probably looked like more of a pained grimace. Her eyes widened and she dropped her arms in a flash, standing before me like a penitent child as she ducked her head. "Don't panic, you're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."
I stroked her face again, watching her closely as she shuddered against my touch. She reached up with elaborate caution to touch her fingertips to my cheeks, smiling at the contact before she gave me a deliberate look.
"I love you," she said at last.
My smile answered her before I could form any words around the sudden lump in my throat.
"As I love you," I murmured. Cupping her face in my hands I learned forward slowly enough to remind her to be careful and touched my lips to hers. We parted slightly, enough for me to see the smile on Bella's lips as she leaned into my touch and kissed me again. This time the kiss was longer. Long enough for us to be reminded that we weren't alone by a low chuckle from Emmett.
"You've been holding out on me," Bella commented when we parted again, her eyes narrowing a tiny bit.
I laughed, overcome with relief that it was all over. The fear, the pain, the uncertainties were behind us now.
"It was necessary at the time," I reminded her, "now it's your turn now to break me." I laughed at that and hugged her tighter against me, simply because I could.
Carlisle stepped around Emmett and walked towards us, his face bright with curiosity.
"How do you feel, Bella?"
"Overwhelmed," Bella ventured. Her eyes had widened as she looked at my father, blinking and leaning further into my side in a mute request for support. "There's a lot to process, but I still feel like …. me." She cocked her head in puzzlement at this. "Is that normal?"
"You're certainly more in control than others I've seen," Carlisle commented. His thoughts were racing from one hypothesis to the next. "I gave you a very liberal dose of morphine, perhaps that did something to assist the transition. What can you recall?"
Somehow I managed not to wince when Bella gripped at my side convulsively, wrapping my arms around her out of sheer reflex as she tried to burrow closer.
"It burned," Bella whispered. With her free hand she reached up to cup her throat.
"Oh I'm sorry, Bella," Carlisle soothed, "you must be thirsty. Edward will see that you're looked after."
"Wait!" Alice interjected. "Don't I get to say hello to my new sister?"
I blinked, and then couldn't stop the slow smile that spread across my face as Bella offered her new family a shy smile.
It was all the encouragement they needed. With a barely suppressed sound of glee Alice was across the room and wrapping herself around Bella before anyone could blink. Bella gave a muffled laugh that turned into a choked sob as Alice peppered her cheeks with kiss and hugged her again.
"My sister," Alice pronounced with satisfaction.
"Aw hell, I'm gettin' in on this," Emmett growled as he stepped forward, brushing Alice protests aside as he engulfed Bella in a hug that lifted her off her feet. I stood watching as my family greeted her each in their own inimitable way. Rosalie was more restrained in her greeting, but her acceptance of Bella over the last three days, and the careful press of hands against Bella's spoke volumes of the relationship to come. Esme's delight was mirrored by Carlisle's, but it was Jasper who surprised me the most. He had hung back from the group with a broad smile on his face, soaking up the goodwill in the room like a sponge and yet all the while his thoughts were filtered with mild regret.
He felt the weight of my gaze and offered a raised eyebrow in return.
Just reflecting on what might have been for each of us, Edward. We all have different experiences in crossing over. Bella's had the best of all so far. I just wish it could have been the same when it was my time.
I nodded at this. Bella's transition had been by no means painless if her reaction to Carlisle's question was anything to go by, but to wake up surrounded by so much love seemed to be taking the edge off. Bella's gaze still darted from one person to the next, and her response times were jerky as she tried to assimilate her heightened senses, but her smile and delight were genuine. Even now though, I could see her swallow with a wince of effort, and knew that there was an important matter to attend to.
"Sweetheart, you need to hunt," I cut through the crowd of people, extending my hand towards her and drawing her close.
"Will that stop the-," she rubbed at her throat for emphasis.
"For the most part," I cautioned. "Come." We had nearly made it to the door when Bella stopped dead in her tracks, bringing me to a sudden halt as well. I turned to see Bella gazing down at what she was wearing.
"What the hell?" Bella plucked at the silk dress and then turned to see out Alice. "You did this?"
"I didn't hear you arguing," Alice countered.
"I was unconscious," Bella argued and then paused, "or something. Seriously, you expect me to go out like this?"
"Well here's the thing," Alice was stalling, "I didn't factor on you charging out of here straightaway, but-,"
"Alice," Bella warned in a low tone.
Alice sighed and threw up her hands. "Fine. Your things are in the closet, and can I just say that you're no fun."
"Noted," Bella pursed her lips. "Now get out while I change."
"Please," Alice snorted, "you know I've seen when you were-,"
"Now's not the time for this conversation," Bella made shooing motions with her hands.
"Oh I don't know, sounds like things are just getting interesting," Emmett commented as Rosalie pulled him towards the doorway.
I watched them go and turned back to say something to Bella only to have my words dry on my lips at the sound of ripping fabric.
"Shit," Bella swore in a soft voice, "and this looks expensive." She looked at the torn silk and the zipper that had ripped off in her hands.
"Can I," I had to pause and swallow before trying again. "Can I help?"
Bella looked up at this and gave me a quick smile. "Probably." She opened the closet and inspected the contents before making a selection. "How about I get changed in the bathroom, and you help me with the fastenings?"
"Deal," I managed.
She had gathered up some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom while I stood and tried to gather my thoughts. Bella's level of control was staggering. It was not unheard of for newborns to tear their surroundings apart in their desperation for blood and yet here she was changing her clothes before being taken out for her first hunt. I shook my head and smiled to myself before looking up sharply at the sound of a quiet gasp of pain. I nearly took the bathroom door off in my haste to get to Bella and stopped when I saw Bella staring at her reflection in the mirror with a look of mild revulsion.
"What's wrong?"
"My eyes," she murmured as she leaned forward. The venom had replaced her warm brown regard with a ruby stare.
"They'll change," I soothed as I wrapped my arms around her.
"When?" Bella couldn't look away from her reflection, her hands fluttering up with her eyes, tracking the movement in the mirror as if to confirm that it was real.
"They'll darken in a few months. Our diet dilutes the colour, so your eyes will turn amber and then they'll lighten to gold."
Bella turned and fisted her hands in my shirt, not noticing when the cotton popped and ripped.
"You don't hate it?"
"You're beautiful," I assured her, and the blatant truth in my voice seemed to mollify her. I had considered Bella beautiful when she was human, but now it was as if the venom had burned away any weakness to distil her true essence. What was attractive before was now breathtaking. I gazed at her reflection over her shoulder and felt a possessive rumble building in my chest.
Mine.
Bella was looking in the mirror again, turning her head this way and that.
"Are you okay?" It was a ridiculous question to ask given the change in Bella's situation, but she seemed to be taking it all so rationally that I didn't know what else to say.
"I think so," she nodded. "I don't know what I expected but this is …," she broke off and swallowed with a wince, "alright, so that's getting old pretty damn fast."
"We can do something about that," I assured her as I took her hand. "Come on."
I led Bella downstairs and stopped when I saw my family waiting for us in the living room.
"No fair, Alice probably helped," Emmett turned to Jasper with a scowl.
"No sir, I just figured she has more class than you, monkey man," Jasper drawled.
"What's this?" Bella asked as she reached where they were sprawled on their respective sofas.
"I bet Jasper that you'd go out through the upstairs window," Emmett admitted.
"Why on earth would I do that?" Bella was mystified.
"Told you," Jasper called out as he turned his attention back to his book.
"So," Emmett went on in a manful attempt to ignore Jasper's jibe, "you two going out? Want some company?"
"I think we're good," I replied. Bella tugged at my hand again, a silent reminder of her thirst. I felt a bubble of happiness swell in my chest as we made our way towards the door. I didn't have to hunt alone any more. "Don't wait up," I called just before the door closed behind us.
Bella moved so quickly that I almost couldn't track her, running ahead of me towards the tree line and then stopping with a jerk and a soft laugh of amazement. I ran to her to see her grinning with delight.
"Incredible, I barely have to think of where I want to get to and I'm practically there. These reflexes are going to take some getting used to." She pushed her hair out of her eyes and considered me. "How do you do it? It must feel like you're moving in slow motion and yet you walked everywhere with me at campus."
"Oh I don't know," I reached out to cup her face and kiss her again, "perhaps I just needed the right motivation."
"Wow," Bella breathed, "this part I wasn't expecting."
"What part's that?" I whispered, my lips mouthing at her neck as we fitted our bodies against each other.
"The wanting you," Bella shifted a little, trying to get closer. "Rosalie had warned me that the bloodlust would be strong, but … wow. I've always wanted you but this other need is so strong," she made a soft growling noise and sank her teeth into my neck, sending a jolt of desire through me.
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying to keep my focus on what Bella needed, although right now she was making other needs apparent.
"Bella," her name sounded like a groan as she moved to increase contact. "You need …," I stuttered.
"I need," she affirmed.
"You need to hunt," I managed this time. "Your thirst needs to be controlled."
"Right," Bella nodded and released me with considerable reluctance.
The afternoon breeze eddied around us and Bella stiffened as she caught the scent of something on the wind. She looked at me and licked her lips, and I tried to focus on other things.
"Focus, what can you smell?" I coaxed.
"You," she said promptly and then, "wait, there's …,"
"Something else," I encouraged. "Now concentrate on where it's coming from."
"I want it," she said as she turned towards the forest. "Now?"
"I'll be right behind you," I promised.
o * o * o * o * o
She was magnificent. We had run through the forest for a few minutes following the scent trail that had overlaid the surrounding damp earth and coming rain. By the time the scent had grown stronger Bella was whimpering with need. At last we had found them. The sound of hooves stepping through undergrowth and then the lapping sounds of drinking at the steam.
Bella stared at the herd of deer as if mesmerised. Crouching in preparation to spring she gave a low feral growl and then caught herself in surprise at the sound. Shaking her head as if to clear it she gathered herself and jumped. The deer scattered before the appearance of the predator in their midst, and so she missed the first deer she had fixated on. It only took her a moment before she recovered her momentum, taking down the next deer that strayed into her field of vision. She lunged for it and hauled it to her mouth with a hungry snarl.
I paused in the middle of my own feed, mesmerised by the sight. She was so strong, so beautiful. By the time she finished there were over a dozen carcasses behind and I was leaning against a tree with my arms folded simply taking in the scene. Bella straightened up and wiped her forearm across her mouth, frowning when she saw the smears of blood on her arms and clothes. She stood staring at her hands long enough for me to hasten to her side.
"Bella," I began, stopping when Bella gazed at the remnants of her hunt and then at me with such a look of profound horror that the words suck in my throat.
She turned and doubled over, coughing and retching with convulsive heaves. Her body gave up nothing, not even tears as she dropped to her hands and knees and wailed into the earth. I fell to my knees beside her, putting my arms around her and hauling her onto my lap.
"Shh," I whispered against her hair as she shook and buried her face in my neck. I began rocking back and forth in a bid to calm her down, smoothing my hands over her back. Her shaking began to subside and she gave a long sigh before rubbing her face tiredly against my neck before pulling back to look at me.
"The bodies," she began and then gulped back another dry sob.
"We'll bury them, it's what we always do," I said.
"So many," Bella shivered as she stared over my shoulder.
"It won't be like that every time," I replied. "This was your first hunt, everything's magnified, including your thirst."
"Oh thank god," Bella sagged in my arms. "I had visions of decimating the wildlife population in the space of a month. She looked back at me with a sad smile. "Knowing something and experiencing it are two different things."
"Any regrets?" The question slipped out before I could filter myself.
"No," she shook her head and raised a hand to rub her thumb over my lower lip before leaning in for a kiss. "This is what I wanted."
"For better for worse," I mused, "for richer, for poorer," I went on, watching a smile tug at Bella's lips.
"We're really doing this now?" Bella asked. I'm filthy and covered in blood, you don't have a mark on you."
"I've been around longer than you," I countered.
"Hmm," Bella leaned forward to nibble at my neck again, "so I guess that makes me your child bride."
Her words gave me pause, but the sentiment rang true. Maybe the whole reason I became a vampire was so that I could live long enough to meet her. Eighty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another, but I had done it because I couldn't bear the thought of seeing myself as a monster in someone else's eyes. Bella had looked beyond the surface what I was to see the man that I had been; the man I still tried to be. She had sealed her belief in me with a kiss and hadn't stopped. Incredibly she had wanted to merge her life with mine. The day she had told me that was the happiest day of my existence. Wanting her so badly had come at a terrible price, and Bella had been the one to pay it.
Bella was nuzzling at me now, and I gave a low growl that made her shiver again, albeit in an entirely different way. She wriggled in my lap again with an encouraging hum as I insinuated my hands beneath the hem of her t-shirt to rub her lower back.
"Edward," her breath sighed against my face and I leaned forward to lap a drop of blood away from the corner of her mouth. "Can we, I mean, that is to say-," she stuttered.
"Say it," I encouraged.
I leaned back to see Bella looking uncharacteristically flustered. Her gaze darted from my lips to a bug negotiating a blade of grass near where we sat, to the carcasses haphazardly strewn in her wake. However much her attention was diverted though, her gaze always came back to me.
"I want you. Now." She shifted against me for emphasis. I hissed at the increased contact and snatched at her to suck at her neck hard enough to bruise, even though I knew she wouldn't. It was a gesture that met with considerable approval if her response was anything to go by, and we lost ourselves in exploring each other.
It wasn't until Bella began to attempt to wriggle out of her shirt that I managed to collect myself. We had waited too long to rut at each other like a pair wild animals in the forest, however much we both wanted to.
"You've got to be shitting me," Bella half laughed, half moaned as I gently eased me of her lap.
"Not here," I replied as I helped her to her feet. Bella launched herself at me again so quickly that I staggered back a few paces. My phone shrilled in my pocket and I sighed as I got it out to inspect the screen.
Cabin.
"Who?" Bella managed in between kisses.
"Alice," I managed, "with a solution."
That got her attention.
"Where?"
"You'll see," I grinned as I took her hand.
o * o * o * o * o
Bella turned from her shocked inspection to give me a smile of delight.
"And it's all yours?"
"Ours," I promised as Bella reached for me to lace her fingers with mine. I watched her eyes grew darker as we touched.
"The others?" She cocked her head towards the door that was still open.
"Well out of ear-shot," I assured her as she gave a pleased little hum.
"They have cabins too?"
"We all have our own retreats," I allowed, "some on a different scale than others."
"How many?"
"Many times many," I allowed. She would find out in time, of which we also had plenty.
"So," Bella paused, watching as the light in the room cast interesting shadows. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze to get her attention and she back to see me regarding joined hands with quiet joy. "What is it?" she murmured.
"Just … being able to do this," I raised our hands and squeezed again.
Bella considered me for a moment and then stepped into my eager embrace. It wasn't until she peered around me to get a fix on the bedroom and began to steer me in that direction that I felt a qualm of fear. The back of my knees hit the bed and I sat down with a soft thud. Bella followed, straddling my lap and pushing at my chest until I was on my back.
It was abundantly clear which one of us had more experience. Granted neither of us had a vast sexual history, but Bella at least at the advantage of a history that was a little more … recent, than my own. She bent over me, her hair forming a curtain around us as she brushed her lips against mine. The kiss was soft and careful, everything that our kisses had always been.
"Do you miss it?" Her voice was hushed.
"Miss what?" I blinked at her.
"I'm not warm and soft anymore." We were so close that I could feel her lips moving as she spoke.
"You are warm," I breathed as I cupped my hands on her hips, "you are soft." My hands moved over the curve of her bottom, up over the small of her back. I gripped at her shirt as if to anchor myself to her. I gave the gentlest of tugs to pull her back for another kiss, which I kept chaste out of habit.
"I won't break," Bella whispered, her eyes fluttering closed as I pressed kisses down the column of her throat.
I pulled back to look at her ruby-eyed smile and then we moved toward a kiss that felt like it had always been waiting for us; moaning into each other's mouths, both of us greedy for total possession. Perhaps we would be gentle with each other another time, but for now we had many denied opportunities to make up for. My hands were fumbling at Bella's shirt when she pulled back and, pinching the fabric between thumb and forefingers gave a careful tug. The fabric ripped as it made from cobwebs and I gazed reverently at the bare skin and lace before me. I was still staring when Bella reached down and shredded my shirt as well.
"Just as well Alice likes shopping," Bella muttered
My answering laugh turned into a gasp as Bella's hands slithered below my waist. Soon though, I realised that just because it had been a while for me didn't mean I had too be submissive. Hooking a leg around her hips I gave a sudden jerk that reversed our position. I loomed over Bella and ground my hips against hers with considerable satisfaction.
Our clothing was discarded with immoderate haste and we curled and undulated against each other with whimpers and growls of encouragement. We both groaned when I eased myself into her warmth and for a moment time felt suspended. Bella was panting for air that she didn't need, the scents of our mutual arousal sending her into sensory overload.
Even though my human life was a faded memory at best the lessons of my upbringing and society were well ingrained. What we were doing was entirely wrong and disrespectful of the institution of marriage. And then Bella shifted against me and locked her ankles over my hips, and she felt so good that I couldn't give a damn.
A/N: Yeah. I know I said only two chapters left. Turns out these guys are chattier than I thought. It won't be the never-ending story, we ARE getting to the finish line, but it's taking a little longer than expected. Um, that's okay with you guys, right?