Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. ~Joan Lunden~

Anger

Haley stood before the black wooden door of Lucas' enormous house. She didn't have to guess where he got the money to pay for it, she had read the book he had published right after high school many times before. She was unsure wither or not she should ring the doorbell.

She knew she had to pick up Jamie, but she could call and ask if it was okay to pick him up after dinner too. She was just so scared of what she would find if she rang the bell and went inside. Would they all be angry at her ? What about Lucas ? He said he missed her, but she could feel certain coldness in his voice toward her.

Lucas and Nathan weren't the best of friends, or brothers in high school, but they seemed rather close now. So would Lucas side with Nathan ? Would he hate her too ?

And what about Peyton ? She's probably still Brooke's best friend and Brooke has made it clear that she doesn't like Haley at all. Would Peyton side with Brooke ? Or would she be nice to Haley ?

Haley sighed, she knew she had to face them sometime, and she promised Lucas she would come to dinner, so after standing outside for over 10 minutes, she finally rang the door bell. She waited for a minute or so before the door opened, revealing Peyton Sawyer. Haley couldn't tell by her expression if she was angry at her or not.

"I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ring the bell. I saw you park your car about 12 minutes ago." Peyton said as she gave Haley a small smile, Haley smiled back. So far, she wasn't getting yelled at, so that was a good start.

"So, you don't hate me ?" Haley asked, hoping she would get a 'no' as answer, because anything else, she wasn't sure she could handle.

"No… Don't get me wrong, I don't approve of what you did nor understand. And yes, I was angry at you for a long time. But I've forgiven you long before you came back. I've learned it's not healthy to walk around with anger in your heart all the time. But you need to know one thing, I don't trust you. I'm not your friend, none of us are your friends, even Luke, not now at least. You hurt us bad, really bad. Maybe in time we can rebuild our friendships, but not right away. I hope you understand that." Peyton said, Haley was a little hurt but understood, she just nodded and tried not to cry.

"How has Jamie been ?" Haley asked, to change the subject.

"Great, he's currently playing a game of guitar hero with his dad." Peyton said, Haley was shocked to hear Nathan was there too. If she would've known, she wouldn't have come.

"Nathan's here ? But I thought Brooke said he didn't want to come." Haley said, she couldn't deal with all of them and Nathan in one night, it was too much.

"I guess he changed his mind, anyways, come inside, it's warmer here." Peyton said as she held the door open for Haley. Haley stepped inside, took of her coat and hung it in the closet. Much against her will, she followed Peyton into the living room.

"Hey, look who's here." Peyton said to everyone to get their attention. Lucas smiled a small smile, Brooke rolled her eyes, Nathan looked to the ground while Jamie's face lit up and he ran to Haley. Haley swooped him up in her arms.

"Hey buddy, did you have fun ?" She asked, she kept his eyes on him to avoid everyone else's stares.

"Yes, momma. Daddy taught me how to play guitar hero. It was really fun." Jamie smiled, Haley was glad at least one of them was happy. She knew they would threat Jamie kindly, after all, he's not the one they're mad at and he's too cute to resist.

"Did he now ? Waw, that's great. I'm glad you had fun. I missed you though." Haley said as she rubbed her nose against his.

"I missed you too momma. I asked daddy if he missed you and he got really quiet and sad." Jamie said, everyone heard what he had said, including Nathan. Haley heard Nathan as he let out a great sigh, stood up and walked to the kitchen. Haley put Jamie down and bowed down so she could look straight into his face. She was searching for the right words to say to him, but she came up blank.

"Is daddy mad at you ?" Jamie asked, Haley sighed, Jamie could always see through people, he was smarter than any kid his age she had ever come across, maybe even too smart for his own good sometimes.

"It's complicated Jim-Jam (her nickname for Jamie). Sometimes people do something which hurts other people. And even though you're sorry afterwards, that doesn't always make everything right." Haley said, she had to keep up a strong front for Jamie, but if he weren't there, she would've long broken down.

"Did you hurt daddy ?" Jamie asked, he was sad that his daddy and his momma weren't friends anymore.

"Yeah, Jim-Jam, I did. And momma's really sorry, and I hope daddy will be able to forgive me in time." Haley said, Jamie smiled a small smile and gave Haley a hug.

"He will. Daddy loves you, I know." Jamie whispered in her ear, so silent only Haley could hear. Now more than ever she had to fight the urge to cry.

"I'd hate to break up this cute slightly nauseating show, but some of us would like to eat at some point… Haley." Brooke said, she knew she was acting like a bitch, but she had her reasons.

After Haley left, everything fell apart, she and Lucas broke up, she and Peyton got into an almost year long fight over Lucas, she was all alone. She needed her tutor-girl, and she wasn't there. She resented her for that, but she shouldn't be taking it out on Jamie, he's just a kid after all.

"Sorry, let's eat." Haley said as she stood up and took a hold of Jamie's hand. And walked over to the dinner table where the dinner already stood on table and Brooke, Peyton and Lucas were sitting at. Nathan was nowhere to be seen. Haley told Jamie to sit in a chair next to her.

"I'll go get Nathan." Lucas said, stood up and disappeared in the kitchen.

"So, Jamie, what was it like living in New York ? Exciting ?" Brooke asked the cutest kid she had ever seen while she ignored Haley. Peyton was friendly, to a degree, but she was very distant.

"Nice, but I think momma was missing home 'cause she was sad a lot." Jamie said as he looked from Brooke to Haley, Brooke was a little stunned, she didn't have words for that. When a 4 year old says his mom has been sad, what do you say ?

"Hey Nate, dinner's served." Lucas said as he entered the kitchen and saw Nathan leaning on the counter with his head buried in his hands.

"What's wrong ? Is it Haley ? Should I have asked her not to come ?" Lucas asked, he knew this would be really hard on his brother, but then again, it was hard on all of them. Haley was Lucas' best friend for years and when she disappeared, he felt lost without her. Now he's trying his best to be nice to her and be her friend, but at the same time all he wants is to yell at her.

"I don't believe her. I don't believe she left because she was scared. It's something else, I know it. I've always known something bad drove her away from me, and I need to know what. I need to know what happened so I can understand." Nathan said, he never thought she left because of him. They were happy together, that much he knew, he had always known that. Something drove her away, and not knowing for all these years, especially now that she's back, was slowly driving him insane.

"I don't know man. I always thought she'd come to me if something happened, but she didn't. She just ran away, I don't know what it was. But I think you're right, I don't think it was you. We'll just have to give her some time to tell us the truth." Lucas said, maybe he and Nathan were right, maybe they were wrong and Haley really did leave because she was scared. He only knew that was he told his brother just now, was something that would bring them both some peace, knowing, that maybe, her disappearance had nothing to do with either of them, but with something completely different.

"Now come on, let's eat." Lucas said as he led his brother to the dinner table. Lucas sat down next to Peyton, who was sitting next to Brooke. While Nathan had no choice but to sit next to Haley, who was sitting next to Jamie.

Once everyone was served, they began to eat. No one said anything to each other, you could hear someone sigh from time to time or feel them glare at Haley or give each other questioning looks, probably also about Haley. Haley didn't look at anyone, she looked at her dinner plate and continued to eat in awkward silence.

"Is everyone sad ?" Jamie asked, he was feeling really uneasy by the uncomfortable silence so he decided to break it.

"What ?" Nathan said as he looked up for the first time, even Haley looked up now, all though she had a pretty good feeling why he asked that question.

"My momma says if no one talks while we eat it's cause they're angry or sad." Jamie said, at least someone was talking now, so he felt a little bit at ease. He always talked at the dinner table, always with his mother, he had almost never eaten with anyone else but her.

But when no one said anything else, Jamie decided to continue.

"Is it because me and momma are here ?" Jamie asked, feeling guilty for the tension in the room, Peyton replied.

"Oh, no sweetie. We've all just had a weird day, but it has nothing to do with you. We promise." She said giving him a big smile, Jamie felt more at ease, but he didn't fail to notice that she didn't mention Haley when Peyton said that. But he decided to let it go and eat the rest of his meal in silence, because silence or not, it was still awkward.

About an hour later, Jamie was sound asleep on the couch as the rest was drinking a little nightcap. There wasn't much of a conversation going on, every now and then someone said something meaningless and stupid. Haley hadn't said anything yet, neither had Nathan. Nathan had been looking at the image of a sleeping Jamie for a while now, Haley noticed.

"He's cute when he sleeps." Nathan suddenly spoke, everyone looked up, rather surprised by this sudden outburst from Nathan, Haley smiled, she wanted to say he looked just like his father in such moments, instead she said nothing.

"Let's play a little game of truth and dare." Brooke said, she had drunk an awful much tonight, more then she had ever drunk in a long while. Everyone knew it had to do with Haley's sudden return. When no one said anything she grinned.

"Okay, I'll go first. Haley, truth or dare?" Brooke asked, knowing this was going to upset her, but she didn't care, she was too pissed off at her.

"I think it's time for me to go." Haley said as she put her drink down and stood up. She was about to pick Jamie up when Brooke spoke again. Everyone looked at the two women in anticipation of what was to come next.

"Fine, truth it is. Why did you leave?" Brooke asked, Haley stood in shock, she had no answer to that question, telling everyone she was scared back then didn't seem to convince them. She was nailed to the floor with 4 sets of eyes locked on her.

"Yeah, why'd you do it ?" Peyton now asked, Haley still wasn't giving a reply to that question. She felt a hot stream of tears run down her cheeks, but was silent. She was moments away from breaking down completely, when someone came to her rescue. Someone she hadn't expected.

"I think Haley needs to get Jamie to bed. I'll carry him to your car." Nathan said as he stood up, picked Jamie up and walked to the door. Haley, who had been even more stunned, came to her senses, rather relieved and followed Nathan outside, to her car.

Nathan carefully put Jamie in his kiddy seat and buckled him in. He stroke his hand across Jamie's sandy blonde hair, it was nice.

He watched him for a few more seconds before closing the door and heading back to the house. Haley had finally found the courage to speak again.

"Nathan…thank you." She said as he turned around and looked at her, he didn't say anything, not even a slight nod, he just turned back around and disappeared into the house. More tears overcame Haley, but she pulled herself together so she would be able to drive home safely.

The next day Haley didn't do much of anything, Lucas had come by to pick Jamie up and drive him to Nathan, now she was all alone in her new big house. She had looked over her lesson plans a few time before she got bored, so she decided to go out in town.

She had been driving a while with no specific place in mind, until she decided to go by Clothes Over Bros, to try and talk to Brooke again. She parked her car across the store,, stepped out and locked the doors.

She frightened when she turned around only to see Dan Scott standing before her. He had the same evil smirk on his face as 5 years ago. She swallowed, he was the absolute last person she ever wanted to run into again. She hated him with all her heart and soul, and it ran deep through her vains.

"Hello, miss. James."

"It's miss. Scott." Haley corrected Dan as he only chuckled, he hadn't expected her to keep the name.

"You kept the name, I'm impressed." Dan said, Haley didn't want to talk to him at all. She was about to walk away from him when he grabbed her arm and started whispering in her ear, so silent no bystander could possibly hear.

Brooke was busy sorting out her window desplays when she looked outside and saw Haley talking to Dan. She didn't understand why those two would be talking to each other, they had never liked one and other since the start. Before she could even blink or think another thought, she saw Dan grab Haley's arm, hard, keeping her from walking away.

She had decided to stay out of it, but when she saw Haley struggling to get free, she knew she had to help her. She sighed, but finally walked outside just in time to hear something very strange.

"Let go of me, Dan! I'm not 17 anymore, I'm not afraid of you anymore." Haley said without ever realizing Brooke had heard that or seen this little scene, untill she spoke.

"Is there a problem here ?" Brooke asked as she started to walk across the street, to Haley and Dan. Dan grimaced before saying one last sentence in Haley's ear.

"If I were you, I should be worried. If not for your sake, then for your son's or Nathan's." He whispered before letting go of Haley and turning to Brooke.

"Ah, miss Davis, a pleasure to see you, as always." Dan smirked as he checked her out from head to toe, licking his lips in the process.

"Bite me!" Brooke replied, she couldn't stand him, no one could. He was an ass and that was a well known fact all over town.

"In time, miss. Davis, all in good time." He grinned before walking away from Haley, who was rubbing her hand over her arm, and Brooke.

Brooke rolled her eyes at Dan as he walked away, then turned to Haley, who was now crying. She wasn't sure what to do, she was angry at Haley, yes, but she couldn't stand to see her this fragile. It was something she had never seen before, it slightly broke her heart.

"A... Are you okay ?" Brooke finally asked, Haley said nothing, she just shook her head. She wasn't okay, she was far from okay. Everything had fallen apart and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She couldn't stay in Tree Hill, she had to run, she and Jamie had to dissapear, again.

"Come inside, I'll pour you a cup of coffee." Brooke said as she put her arm around Haley and walked with her back to her store.

Brooke and Haley sat in the back of the store, taking small sips of their hot coffee, and yet again, not speaking. Brooke was finally tired of the silence, so she spoke.

"What happened outside with Dan ?" She asked, Haley shrugged and said it was nothing, but Brooke knew she was lying, she could see it in her eyes.

"Don't lie to me, tutor-girl. I may not have seen you for 5 years, but I still know when you're telling the truth and when not." Brooke said, she had called Haley tutor-girl again for the first time in 5 years. It felt good, natural, to her and to Haley.

Haley found some new strength from hearing that old nickname again, strength she hadn't felt in years. And it was time, it was time to tell someone, just one person. She had held it inside for so long, she just needed to let it out. So she started to talk, she told it all, every single detail that needed to be told.

As Brooke listened to Haley's story, she understood it all now. It wasn't Haley's fault, it had never been to blame, there was only one person to blame and she wasn't it. She felt guilty for threating Haley so bad yesterday now that she knew the truth. She wasn't angry at her any longer, she admired her for doing the impossible and staying brave throughout the years.

"Tutor-girl, I really think you should tell Nate about this, he'd understand then. He still loves you, I know that, you know that, everyone knows it. He just doesn't understand, but he will if you tell him." Brooke said, but Haley shook her head and said no one was to ever find out.

"Well what are you gonna do then, run again ? That's no life, not for you, not for Jamie." Brooke said.

"I don't know, I'll figure it out. But no one knows, NO ONE..." Haley said as she thought of what could happen if anyone found out. She had to do this on her own, maybe now with the help of Brooke, but no one else was to get involved, it was too dangerous...

Above all things, never be afraid. The enemy who forces you to retreat is himself afraid of you at that very moment. ~Andre Maurois~

TO BE CONTINUED