Chapter 5: Revelations

I hoped I would get through this day in one piece. No, actually, I hoped I would get through this entire thing in one piece, starting with today. All the while, I had to try to stay strong and not fall apart.

How on earth did I ever get tangled up in all of this? That was beyond me...

***

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

What Hurt The Most by Rascal Flatts

***

After my shower, I removed my bandages, no longer needing them and redressed the bandage on my left knee where I had the stitches; I would go see Ca- the school doctor during my free period to have them removed, if that was already possible, I hoped so.

I dressed in an outfit similair to the one I wore yesterday: Black pants, black converse, grey sweatshirt and grey hoodie. It was comfortable, easy, moody just like me, and completely different from the Izzy outfits. To some it all up, my new clothes were perfect for me and the current state I was in.

One downstairs, I found another note by Renée and Charlie, saying they had been home for a few hours but left again to work on their case and that I could drive the Jaguar to school. Apparently they had hid the keys in the cookie jar (hmm, not too hard to find, if only I knew where it was!). I figured the car was just somewhere in the garage, no idea where that was either, but I could find out, I still had time.

And what case were they working on? What kind of work did they do? I remembered I was going to Google them yesterday, but forgot. I had enough time left to do it now, so I quickly went to Izzy's room, fired up the laptop, typed in the one name I tried so hard not to think of 'cause it hurt to much, and googled Renée and Charlie Swan.

I found a link right away, a link which shocked the living daylights out of me. Of all the jobs in the world, I had not imagined them doing this. They were lawyers! Apparently, they had their own lawfirm called Swan&Swan Lawyer Agency.

In my world, Charlie hated lawyers. Though he had to work with them on several occasions, he thought of them as evil snakes wanting nothing more than to interfere with a cop's job. Renée didn't hate them, but disliked them. She dated a lawyer at one point before marrying Phill, but it ended badly when she found out he was married and a father of 3. It had been funny to see her kick his sleezy ass out of the house.

Now I knew what they did for a living, I began my search in the kitchen for the cookie jar. Luckily, I needn't search long, for it was in the spice cabinet, obviously in an attempt to make me search more than absolutely necessary. I guess they still didn't like me very much.

Finding the garage shouldn't be very difficult, I hoped. It had to be on a ground level, leading outside. So, I grabbed my backpack, stuffed the lunch money Renée had left for me in it and headed outside, locking the door behind me with the key I found in Izzy's drawer, and looked around for the garage. I spotted it just next to the house; a garage large enough to hold at least 2 vehicles, if not more.

I walked up to it and groaned when I saw it was an automatic gate; how the heck was I going to find the remote to open it? I looked around and saw a pannel with buttons next to the gate, then it clicked; you couldn't open it with a remote, you had to open it by entering a code. That was just fan-freakin-tastic!

I decided to give it a try by doing the same thing I did yesterday; I would close my eyes and let my brain or gut, whichever, guide me. I hoped it would work, but wasn't entirely sure it would. As I felt my fingers press the little buttons, I knew it was working. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't doing anything exept letting my body guide me. A beep sounded in my ears so I opened my eyes and found the garage gate to be open.

I walked over to the red Jaguar, and I had to admit, she was a beauty. The color, however, made me feel sad as it reminded me of my old, rusty, trusted truck I once had and hoped to once see and have again.

I took place behind the wheel, sort of enjoying the feel of the leather against my back - it was strange how I seemed to feel much more today than any other day since I woke up here - pulled out of the garage and headed for the school, praying I wouldn't get lost along the way.

Luckily for me, there were plenty of signs I could follow, making it very easy to find the school. I drove at a slow pace, not wanting to crash into something that would cause my untimely, yet somewhat wanted, death.

I parked as far away from the crowd as possible, not wanting to attract much attention toward myself, grabbed my backpack and got out. As I looked around, I noticed I had attracted attention toward myself, a lot of attention. I briefly wondered if it was the car, but that couldn't be, since I figured they had to be somewhat used to it by now.

That's when I saw Jessica and Lauren, standing next to Jason and a whole bunch of other people, pointing at me, whispering and looking at me with distinct disgust on their faces. I looked at myself and inwardly chuckled. It were the clothes, of course. And the lack of make-up and the fact that I broke up with that Jason guy, which I was sure they were aware of by now.

I walked over to the school entrance - lucky for me Izzy had kept the map of this place, so I had the chance to memorize it yesterday - but was stopped by Lauren, Jessica and what I called their plastic-fake-annoying-rude-gang. It was a long name, but I liked it; it fit them.

"Izzy." Lauren got right up close in my face, saying my name with so much venom in her voice I thought she would burst. However, she remained her cool stance.

"Lauren," I replied, uninterested in whatever she wanted to tell me.

"Care do explain why you, like, dumped Jason and why you are, like, dressed like that. That's like, so not cool. I mean, like, seriously." Did she say 'like' 5 times? God, how did Izzy stand being around these people?

"Well, Lauren, I'm, like, so not, like, interested in, like, all of this. Like, really," I replied, using the word like as an undercurrent of sarcasm, which I doubted she detected. I had no idea where I got the courage to talk to Lauren like that, but I sort of enjoyed it in an annoying this-isn't-me way.

Lauren and the rest of her mindless gang stood there, mouthes agape, gawking at me as if I were a freak of nature. Maybe I was, I didn't care. I didn't need any of them, I only needed a way out!

I brushed past them, into the school and headed for my first class: English. At least it was something I was good at. I was sure I would get at least and A- for my essay, if not more. Not that it really mattered, nothing mattered here. All I had was knowledge and pain, and I wasn't doing too great in the knowledge department either.

I quickly found the class thanks to my good memory. 'A little too good of a memory, if you ask me.' I added mentally as I walked into the class with absolutely no idea of where my seat was. I stared at the still empty room hoping for some sense of direction, though none came to me.

"Are you waiting for something in particular, Ms. Swan? Or are you simply enjoying the scenery," Someone asked, I turned around and stared at a strict looking, female teacher with glasses and brown, silky hair. She kind of scared me, for some reason.

"Uh, uh,...," I sputtered, unable to come up with a descent answer.

"Ms. Swan, please take your seat before the rest of class arives and we have another situation on our hands," She said, I wondered what she meant by 'situation', but didn't inquire about it.

"I, euh, kind of forgot where my seat is," I explained, lying, of course, hoping she'd believe me. She eyed me incredulously, making me very self-consious and of course, me being myself, I blushed.

"You forgot?" She asked, the disbelief flowing from her voice. I thought of what I could say that would convince her I indeed forgot and wasn't playing games with her. I had my answer.

"Yeah, eum, I bumped my head yesterday and keep forgetting things," I said, hoping to sound at least a little believable.

"That would explain the clothing." I heard the woman mutter under her breath. I sighed, was this Izzy really so predictable? Or dense? Or bad? Or all of the above?

"Your seat is the one on the third row, next to the window. You sit on the window side next to Ms. Cullen. Satisfied?" She asked, sarcasm flowing through her voice - I ignored it - I nodded my thanks and went to sit at my seat.

As I sat down, grabbed my books and essay, my mind registered what the female teacher had just said; Ms. Cullen was sitting next to me? Did she mean A- my once best friend? Was it a coincidence? Was it someone else with the same last name? God, I hoped so. I didn't think I could handle sitting next to one of them right now. It would hurt too much.

I was in such a deep state of panic that I barely noticed the shrill sound of the bell ringing and the class filling up. It was only when I heard a chair scrape the floor next to me that I was brought back to awareness.

Afraid to look up, but also afraid not to, I glanced at the person sitting next to me. And sure enough, there she was, none other than my former best friend who's name I couldn't think. Her name and my former love's name were the hardest to think, the other names and the pain they brought were bearable. His name and her name were forbidden in my mind; the pain of them was too much.

She saw me eyeing her and gave me one of the dirtiest glares I had ever seen; though the one of him a few days ago was worse, this one was very painful as well. My eyes began to sting as my vision became blurry; I was starting to cry. I couldn't cry, I wouldn't! Yet, I was crying and I couldn't stop it. I could only stop the strangled sound that wanted to escape from my lips come out.

I crossed my arms on my desk and laid my head upon them, hoping no one would notice me, though I was sure she noticed. My eyelids closed in effort to stop my pathetic tears from flowing freely, though there was little I could do to prevent the sobs that escaped my chest. Albeit, they were quiet sobs, thankfully.

"Ms. Swan, what in heaven's name is wrong this time?" I heard the voice of the female teacher ask. She sounded irritated, as if she dealt with this sort of scene often. Did Izzy put on many spectacles like this?

"Nothing, Miss.," I answered, my voice unstable, definitely giving notice of the fact I was crying.

"Well, if it's nothing, then I expect you to sit up and pay attention in my classroom," the teacher responded, though she sounded less harsh than first time.

I tried to wipe as many of the tears away with my sleeve, without anyone noticing, before I sat up to follow her stupid, pointless, unwanted, unneeded lesson.

I felt all eyes on me, but one set of eyes in particular, a set of eyes I didn't want to look in, though I was curious what color they were, I hadn't examined them closely enough before.

I looked to my left and my eyes met a pair of grey eyes, almost translucent, it seemed. Her eyes reminded me of her vampire eyes when she used to have a vision. No! I could not think of that, of any of that! She looked exactly like her vampire self; small, pixie-like, spiky black hair. Only her eye color and skin tone was different. Her skin was pale, but not as pale as it used to be in my world.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Swan?" She wispered, sneering my name just as he had done. I sighed, what was I supposed to say now? I didn't want to hurt her. Technically, she had done nothing wrong against me either, not her, anyway.

"I wasn't... I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking to the front of the desk just in time to hear the teacher ask everyone to hand forward their homework. Everyone looked shocked when they saw my essay of more than 10 pages, while it only had to be a length of 5 pages. But my guess was they were more shocked by me handing in homework at all, than it being longer than it had to be.

The teacher got an urgent call from the principal about 5 minutes before the end of class, so we were excused from the rest of the period as she left. The class emptied out in seconds, everyone was thrilled to have a few more minutes to talk, I guess. I took my time to pack my things, revelling in the fact I was alone. It had been so hard already, and it had only been the first class.

As I was about to walk out of the room to my next class, I was stopped by someone pulling me back by my arm. I hadn't even noticed I wasn't the only one left in the room.

I turned around, only to be face to face with Ali- her. What did she want? Why did she look at me as if I was a shiny object? What did she want?

"Who are you?" She asked, eyeing me curiously and with a slight tint of frustration. Why did she ask that? Surely she knew who I was? I was Isabella Swan, Izzy to her. Why did she ask me who I was?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, hesitantly, unaware of where this conversation was headed. 'She think's you're crazy, that's where this is headed.' That annoying little voice came back in my head, taunting me. I mentally growled at it.

"You know what I'm talking about. You're not Izzy. I can tell. Who are you?" Wait?! What?! How did she know that? What was I supposed to tell her now? What was going on? Was this some cruel joke to make everyone think I was crazy? No, I didn't think so, she sounded sincere, true. Maybe this version of my former best friend has some sort of freaky sixth sense, just like she had visions as a human and vampire.

"Bella," I whispered, deciding to go with the truth, or at least some of it, for now. I didn't lie, she asked who I was, I told her. I just didn't tell her everything, yet.

"Well, Bella, I must admit this is very strange, but I know you're not Izzy, that much is a given," she exclaimed with a curious look. What gave me away?

"What gave me away?" I voiced my unspoken thought.

"Your clothes, for one, eww. And, of course, you're attitude," She reported, looking at me from head to toe, making me feel like some caged animal to be viewed by everyone on national geographic.

"You don't think I'm crazy?" I asked, fearing her response. This could still be a joke she was playing on me, though I highly doubted it, I couldn't be careful enough; my heart was already shattered in a million pieces, broken beyond repair.

"No, I don't. I do want some answers though, just not now. We should head to our next class, we'll speak during lunch." Our next class? Was she serious? Could I stand another hour with her? Not that she wasn't nice, she was just, well, too similair to her.

She saw my confused look and laughed her infectiuous, tingling, bell-like laugh - even as a human, she had a beautiful voice and appearance. "We have all our classess together. Before today, I would've hated every second of it. I can't really stand Izzy, no one really can, for that matter, even though she is the most popular girl in school. Well, I guess she was, since I saw that scene on the parking lot this morning, I don't think she'll be very popular anymore. But now, I will love all the classess I have with you, Bella. I can already tell we will be great friends," She concluded and gave me a hug; I stiffened under her embrace. She must have felt it because she let go.

"Sorry," She apologied and kept her distance from then on. I followed her to the next class: History. She told me her boyfriend was there too and she couldn't wait for him to get to know the 'new' me, as she was going to tell everyone I just had a huge personality change. I didn't have to be a psychic to know who her boyfriend was: Jasper. It hurt to think his name, it did, but I could manage it.

We got several weird looks and heard some whispers as we walked the halls to History. Obviously, everyone was stunned by our friendlyness toward each other. Izzy and Ali- the pixie - I would call her the pixie, easier than managing to think or speak her name - did not get along, those were the rules here. Or so I heard.

We didn't speak anymore before lunch, since English was apparently the only class I was seated next to her. 'Thank God!' I mentally cheered, it was hard enough to have her be so friendly toward me without having to sit next to her all the time.

Unfortunately, classess went by fast and before too soon lunch arrived, which I was seriously dreading. It hurt to look at the pixie, to be near her or even to speak to her. But now, here I was, being dragged by the hand - the touch sent shivers through my spine; it was too warm for my likings, not how it should be - by the pixie, to an unknown location where we would speak about things that would sound seriously crazy.

Finally, we ended up on a bench behind the school, bathing in the hot sunset which I appreciated, since it triggered no memories of my past in Forks. We were the only ones out here. Pixie told me the other students either ate at the front of the school or in the cafeteria, depending on the weather. Students only came to the back when they wanted a few moments to themselves.

"So, spill." Her voice was firm when she told me to spill the beans, to tell her everything.

"I... I don't know where to start," I confessed. It was true, I had no clue as to where to start. How could I tell her everything without falling apart? If I was going to tell her everything, it pained me to think of them, ripped me to shreds. How could I even speak of them?

"Okay... why don't you start with the fact that you haven't said my name one single time since we met. Or, why you keep looking at me as if I'm a ghost," she suggested, I sighed, already with the hard questions.

"It's... complicated," I said, I was stalling, I knew that, I couldn't help myself. The pain in my voice was evident as I spoke; it didn't go unnoticed by the pixie. She changed the subject to something a little less painful.

"Alright then... tell me where you're from." Now that was an easy question, well, the name of the town I was from was easy to tell. How did I tell her I was either not from this world or completely crazy? I guess I had to give it a shot. 'Here goes nothing.' I told myself. 'Here goes everything.' My little, mental voice corrected.

"The name of the town I came from is called Forks. It's in Washington. Though, I'm not even sure if it exists in this world," I explained and almost instantly saw the confusion swep over the pixie's small face, though she hid it well once she composed her features.

"What do you mean?" She asked, her tone betraying no sign that she might think I was delusional or crazy or psychotic or all of the above.

"I think I was put in some alternate reality by someone or something. I know this is not my world, because in my world, the people I knew there are here too, only, they're different." She nodded for me to continue, but I couldn't. A lump was forming in my throat, I couldn't tell her the events of my past.

"Who put you here?" She asked, still sounding as if she believed me; at least, I hoped she did.

"I don't know, but, Alice...," I froze, I had just spoke her name aloud without even planning it. I had been so careful not to think it and it was all down the drain now. I started to hyperventilate. I felt her small arms incase me in a hug, soothing me with words that were supposed to offer comfort, but did no such thing.

Images of Alice and I filled my head. How she took me on the shopping trips against my will, the way she helped me get away from James, the way she cared for me when I was wounded. All images I did not want to see. They were nothing compared to the ones I had of him and my breakdown that followed then, but they were agonizing nonetheless. She had been my best friend. She had left me without saying goodbye. They all did, though it hurt the most from her and him.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for saying my name, it's okay. I'm here, I'm not leaving you, I promise. Please don't think I will," she said, confusing me. Did I spoke my thoughts aloud without realizing it?

I had no view on how much time passed as we sat there as - I forced myself to think her name for my own sanity and to build up my mental strength - Alice *gulp* *pain* *grief* *loss* held me, whispering to me, calming me down.

"School's out." The serene voice of Alice - damn, my heart ached to even think it, ached so much - pulled me out of the drouzy state I had gone in after a while. We had been sitting here for about 3 hours? Really?

"Damn, I forgot to go get my stitches out," I cursed, by which Alice *ache* *burn* chuckled.

"You can come to my place, my dad's the one you need to see anyways. Besides, we can talk more there. That is, if you're ready," Alice - it hurt less this time, practice made good, I guess - offered. I thought about it. Was I ready to go through it without another breakdown? Maybe, as long as I didn't have to think of him. Shoot, I remembered something then.

"I can't. Apparently Renée and Charlie grounded Izzy for something. Don't know what though," I explained. She sighed, but then smiled as she thought of something.

"No worries, one quick call will do," Alice - still hurt, though less - said as she took out her cell and dialed someone's number. I waited, confused.

"Alice Cullen calling for Mrs. Swan," She voiced - how did she know where to reach Renée? I didn't even know that.

"Hi, Mrs. Swan? Alice Cullen speaking," I listened intently to her side of the converstation, as I could not hear what Renée was saying.

"It's about Bella. Yes, I know about the name change. I like it, it suits her. I was wondering if she could sleep over at my house tonight? Hmm. Yes, she told me. Ah, I see. Okay, thank you. Bye." She ended the call, put her phone away and turned to me with a grin on her face.

"How did you know where to call?" I asked, not really caring what Renée said. I would know soon enough.

"Oh, I prank called it a few times when I was younger. I just did it to get Izzy in trouble. Worked like a charm, too," she confessed, chuckling at the memory.

"Anyway, she said you're un-grounded and you're free to spend the night with me. She said you can even stay the rest of the week, since she and Charlie are working on some really big case that they can't get away from," Alice - yep, still hurt - said, her happiness almost bubling over. I nodded, agreeing to spend the rest of the week. Maybe she could even help me find my way out of here.