AHH. Sorry sorry sorry.

So anyways, last week I was Oberon in our school's successful production of Mid Summer Nights Dream.

And on Thursday in our final performance I dislocated my knee (again) with about a third of the play to go so I just didn't tell the teachers and went back on stage. Ahaa. The show must go on!

And there standing in the doorway, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but here was my brother.

My older brother, who was supposed to protect me, always. Who took the training wheels off my bike for me. Who dangled me out the window, by my ankles, when I was 5 years old. Who carried me across our old reservation, when I broke my leg last year.

'Lora I-' he stopped, glancing across at Embry who was glaring at him.

'Embry it's okay. Why don't you… go see the rest of the pack.' I said in my broken voice, he shook his head, crossing his arms over his broad chest like a five year old.

'Embry.' I pleaded, 'Please, go and see them. Tell Emily I said hi. And that I would kind of like to speak to her, please.' I begged him with my eyes to just give us some space, he obliged begrudgingly.

After he slouched out, dragging his feet, Corey closed the door.

'Look. Lora – I just never thought he would. If I had known I wouldn't have.' He mumbled, sitting down onto the hard white plastic of the hospital chair.

I didn't reply, instead I raked my eyes over his dishevelled appearance. Corey looked terrible, his hair was greasy, and plastered to his scalp. His face was unshaven, and under his brown bloodshot eyes were deep purple-ish blue bags.

'God you look awful.' I whispered, coughing. Carefully I reached up my hand and touched my lips, trying to cover my mouth. Pulling my hand away I grimaced as the wires pulled against my skin.

Corey frowned,

'I look awful? Lora, just look at you! You are laying in a fucking hospital bed with stitches all over you, with… leeches caring for you, hanging around you! BECAUSE OF ME!' he said, his voice becoming louder the longer he spoke. I am sure I heard a hiss from the hallway when he came to the leech part.

I was about to reply but he continued,

'And now your bloody imprint is just gone. Lola is a werewolf and Leah won't speak to me. I haven't spoken to the pack or our parents since I hurt you. Lora, I know you don't get it. I have ruined our lives. Your life.' He almost yelled. I shook my head at him.

'Corey, I get it. I know that I might never recover. I know that my life has pretty much been ruined. But I am forgiving you for that, because I don't think anyone else will.'

He looked shocked, his mouth as if to speak but no noise came out so he just sat there opening and closing his mouth like a gold fish, I took the chance and continued,

'However, I won't forgive you for hurting Seth. As far as you were concerned he had NOTHING to do with our lives. But now you have ruined Leah's life, and Sue's life and most of the packs lives.'

A warm tear fell from my brimming eyes, quickly followed by many more. I gazed back at Corey through the haze of salty water to see that he was also crying.

'Oh Lora, Lorie, I am so, so sorry.' He whimpered, hugging me carefully with his huge arms.

He whimpered. My brave, older, protector brother whimpered!

'Be careful of the stitches.' I murmured, closing my eyes and breathing in his familiar scent, somewhat marred by the smell of cigarettes and alcohol. I pulled away, disgusted.

'Corey! You're drinking and smoking?! What the hell, why would you do that?' I asked, shocked and disappointed.

'Yeah, well. I just- it doesn't affect me, but I just do because well I tried to be a normal guy and do normal things.' He mumbled, backing away and staring intently at me.

'I figured if I started doing the stuff every other guy is doing I would feel better about being this horrible mutant creature.' Corey stood up, and then sat down again.

'I should go. Really I should.' He glanced at me; I sniffed back tears and shook my head causing tear drops to fly off the ends of my eye lashes.

'You don't have to go, really, you don't' I whispered.

'Lora I do, I've been all over the state, into Canada even searching for Seth y'know?' I stared at him.

My brother, who hated Seth, was searching for him. My heart fluttered with the optimism that I made sure I didn't hold onto. Seth was gone – I had to get used to that. But I couldn't - my heart felt like it was bring ripped into pieces, every breath was a struggle and throughout all of the hurt and the heart ache there was something else just a flicker of emotion that felt so alien against the rest of them.

Hope.

'You're looking for Seth? Really…?' I asked, my eyes flashing bright.

Corey nodded,

'I thought it'd help.'

And there it was again, that alien feeling – hope.

well there you go. :)