Author's Note: Purple doesn't get enough time in the limelight *coughsarcasmcough* so I gave him his own chapter. The longest chapter of this story that I've written so far, I'd like to add. I also had trouble finding a good quote for Pur this chapter. I sifted through many different topics before I came upon the just the right one, my 'Aha!' moment of the day. But you probably don't care about that. So enjoy this chapter, review if you want, etcetera. Happy filthy human holidays! May weak, childish emotions twist your insides, bringing forth a feeling of what you worm-babies call 'love'.
"I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid." - Harlan Ellison
Purple sat up with a terrified gasp, nearly choking on the cold air rushing down his throat, eyes shut tight. What had caused him to awaken so harshly? A harsh crack of thunder shot through the air just as Purple had begun to calm himself again, answering his question, causing him to elicit a small shriek of fear. The thunder gradually subsided to a low, consistent growl overheard, giving the impression of letting Purple have a bit of mercy for a while to figure things out.
One thing he knew instinctively was that he was in a place that was different, odd, unknown. He could feel a cool breeze on his arms after years of being confined inside a large metal ship. Solid ground was beneath him, treasured Almighty Tallest hover Pak and belt gone, forcing him to regretfully follow the rules of gravity instead of casually floating a few units off the ground. It felt strange. There were only a few things Purple loathed in life. Biting into a stale doughnut, for one. Getting shot in the eye with one of Red's many lasers is another. Sure, he always got an apology for it afterwards, but it never seemed truly sincere.
But this...this was in a category all its own. He didn't think anyone in the Irken Empire could even comprehend what had just happened. He barely understood it himself. Getting tricked into touching a soul sucking thing and waking up in an unfamiliar place with no idea what is happening? That was insanity, really, something to tell smeets so they don't do something stupid and annoying. Purple laughed nervously to himself. This had to be a dream. It had to be. A nightmare made more vivid and crazy from eating too many snacks right before his Pak needed to recharge, most likely.
If this was a dream, he may as well explore it to see what it was like. No use being curled up in a ball, waiting for it to all be over. He uncurled himself and sat up straight. Slowly, he opened one eye, then the other. Darkness clung to every available surface around him. A tall, sturdy, brown thing stood rigidly next to him, the top of it disappearing into a blob of dark green shapes. Purple put one hand against the object and eased himself up to stand on his own two feet, eventually clinging to it with both arms, not used to having to stand with his feet touching the ground. The object's surface was rougher than he expected, but he clung to it all the same. It was the only somewhat solid thing around him. It was almost comforting, in its own way. Rooted to the ground, the unknown thing didn't pull away at his touch like things with the sensitive levitation devices did on the Massive, causing him to fall flat on his face, and neither did it command him to tell it what to do, as did all his subjects. It was silent and unyielding.
Purple pulled away to stand on his own a few moments before another flash of light lit up the world around him. He had been brushing his hands free of debris at the time, and froze when the light showed him what he least expected to see. His skin was as colorless as the flash itself, an off-white, not a trace of green to be found. And his hands...those are what captivated him most, even after the light faded. The cuffs he had worn since he first became Tallest were gone, revealing not only thumbs, but an extra finger at the end that he had no idea what he would even use it for. It started to dawn on Purple that if his skin and hands were different, then there had to be even more to find out. He looked around quickly for a reflective surface and was rewarded with sight of what looked like a shimmery, shifting pool of liquid in a large, shallow container made of ceramic or marble. Purple hurried over to the area and hesitantly peered into the water.
An image of a terrified human boy with black fur on its head stared back at him. It had off-white skin on its face, a nose, ears, and a cowlick that made the hair grow in a curious scythe shape. Metal encompassing glass circles framed the eyes. The orbs in charge of sight were eerily white with only a spot of color that moved only to look at something without turning its head. It wasn't until the image copied Pur's motion of starting to pull away did it really sink in. Suspicions were further confirmed when he reached up to his eyes and felt smooth metal frames around them, brushing against the odd black fur momentarily before dropping his hands again. He wasn't himself. Definitely not Irken, that's for sure. Dread filled him along with the truth of the situation. This was no dream. All known senses were functioning too well for it not to be at least some form of reality. He felt the cool wind on his arms, heard the distant thunder, heard the rustle of the dark green shapes on top of the tall brown thing from earlier, saw everything with absolute clarity as long as the frames weren't removed. Besides, the very few times he did need to recharge his Pak, he never dreamt of being anyone other than himself. His new hands started to shake. This was all real, and to be honest, he was thoroughly freaked out.
"HI PUPPY-HEAD!" a high-pitched voice suddenly shrieked in front of his face. Startled, he fell on the ground and scrambled back a few feet. A small SIR unit stood in front of him, cyan blue eyes shining brightly despite the darkness lingering on everything else. A green doggy suit lay discarded near it. Purple recognized the robot and sighed, though whether it was from relief at seeing a familiar face or from exasperation at the situation, he wasn't very sure.
"Hello, Gir," Purple mumbled, getting up again. He approached the robot whose brains he had provided so long ago.
"Are you all better now after the nap?" Gir inquired with a happy smile. Purple raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"Uh, yeah, sure," he answered. Pur sighed again. "This isn't it a dream, is it, Gir?"
Gir giggled and shook his head. "Nuh-uh! If it was a dream, puppies and kitties would be knitting in the sky, I would be dancing with my piggy, and you, Dibby, would not be chasing my master no more!"
"Wait...who did you say I was?" Purple wondered, warding off another panic attack.
"Dib, Dibby, Dibbykins, Dib Dib DIB!" Gir sang out. Purple's eyes widened as yet another connection in his mind was made. He didn't know why he didn't see it before, looking at that reflection. The glasses, the weird hair, all of that belonged to Zim's enemy! That big-headed kid who asked a lot of questions about them before dancing with Gir. He took a deep breath, waited a second, and breathed out evenly. Okay. Okay. He could handle this. So he was supposed to be Dib now. All he had to do was find Zim, straighten everything out, and somehow become himself again. That shouldn't be too hard, right? He crouched down to Gir's eye level, being reminded that he was now as short as Zim. He didn't linger on that for too long. One thing at a time.
"Gir, do you know where Zim is?" He asked, trying not to grimace at the name of the most hated Irken in existance. "I need to ask him a very important question. I need his help with something."
The SIR unit grabbed his hand in an iron grip, not registering Purple's gasp of pain, and dragged him back to the area he had first woken up in. Gir pointed at someone laying on the ground. Purple looked over and saw the small Invader, half-curled up, obviously asleep from the way the chest rose and fell steadily with every deep breath. The antennae twitched once in the dream, flattening against the head before returning to normal. Despite the sleep, Zim didn't seem very happy. His eyes were shut tightly, squinted in anger, and the breaths that did escape past the gritted teeth came out as a hiss. Purple narrowed his eyes. Something wasn't right with Zim, he could tell. Dreamland this time was obviously a forced confinement, something he did not want to accept. A Pak normally alarmed its master well ahead of time, and never took an Irken by surprise under any circumstance with a recharging out of nowhere. Purple poked the angered dreamer with one foot and got no response. Very unusual.
Purple turned his head towards the SIR unit. "What happened to Zim?"
"I think my mastah is sick from the lava lamp," Gir stated, tearing up. "A big boom happened, and I ran over to mastah to tell him about how it's gonna rain, and then I find him all sleepy with you next to him and the glowy thing. I saw you wake up and followed you like the carrot guy who loves Zim so much!" Gir suddenly laughed insanely and spun around in circles in some type of celebration. "Then I ran around NAKED! WOO!"
Purple glanced over at the 'glowy thing' as Gir so pleasantly put it. He had to force himself not to run away at the sight of the soul-sucking machine, a mere foot away from him, pulsing in all of its sick glory. He didn't know what the glowing colors meant, but it couldn't be good. There was no way in Hellisca that he was going near that horrible...thing...ever again. He returned his attention back to Zim and tilted his head to the side in confusion. Purple honestly had no idea what to do now.
"It's raining!" Gir squealed. Purple looked around and, sure enough, the world around him was blurring with falling liquid. He soon became drenched with the water without any of the burning feeling he was expecting. Maybe humans were immune to it? Either way, it was irritating, and the water on his glasses made it more difficult to see. He brushed wet hair out of his eyes and looked enviously over at Zim, laying under the tree, protected from this burden. Purple's eye twitched. He was the Almighty Tallest! He shouldn't have to suffer any inconveniences while a subject nearby was so comfortable! Purple scowled, starting to walk away from the unconscious nuisance.
"Where ya going, Big Head?" Gir called out. Purple turned around to glare at the robot.
"Away from here," he retorted. "This whole thing is stupid, and I don't want to be around Zim when he wakes up. I've decided I don't need him. I can handle this on my own."
"B-but the rain will hurt master when it falls through the tree's head!" Gir protested, pointing up at the tree he and Zim were still under.
"I don't CARE!" Purple shouted. The SIR unit's eyes glowed an operational red, an arsenal of guns springing out of his head, aimed at Purple.
"You plan to abandon my master!" the robot shouted in a lower voice. "Bring him to safety in your housing unit at ONCE!"
"What's wrong with you?" the purple-eyed boy gasped, eyes widening at all of the weapons.
"Resistance to command noted. Prepare to be destroyed," the functional GIR intoned. The lasers started to warm up, and Purple quickly waved his arms in defeat.
"OKAY! OKAY! Just put the guns down!" he pleaded. The weapons retracted and the eyes glowed a sky blue once more.
"Yay!" Gir celebrated. "Can I bring the lava lamp?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. I guess so," Purple responded, still slightly stunned from nearly dying. "Just don't let it touch anyone. Put it in your head or something."
Gir nodded and shoved the device in his head. Purple, on the other hand, found a dry black jacket under another tree and put it on Zim to keep him dry from the rain. He lifted him over one shoulder.
"Now, this may seem like a dumb question, Gir, but where do I live?" Pur asked. Gir grabbed his free hand in a too-tight grip once more and led him out of the park and down the street. On the way there, Purple observed the people around them, wanting to get to know his new surroundings by the type of people who lived there.
In a bagel shop was an orange-haired man in a black trench coat, looking around for hidden cameras and mumbling something about stalkers and YouTube. The same man ran ignored a small rat...thing...with bulging eyes when it appeared in his path, merely stepping over it to order his food. The creature stared at Purple without flinching, bitten ear twitching only once. Purple shuddered before resigning himself to staring at the ground. He was done with people watching in this creepy place. He was afraid of what other creatures he would find staring at him. The scream of a teenager running for his life out of a broken down house didn't help with the atmosphere, nor did the knife flung after him. Purple shuddered and turned away. Apparently, the blood of humans was a disturbingly bright red. He wished he would suddenly appear back home, everything normal again. Any moment now, Red should be shaking his shoulder, teasing him for daydreaming for so long. No such luck. If Red had suffered the same fate as him, who knows where he could be? Or who he could be, for that matter. He might not even recognize his own best friend! This whole situation was so...stupid!
"You live there, puppy head!" Gir announced, bringing Purple's attention back to the matter at hand. He looked up at the medium-sized shelter unit. It actually looked...not so bad. More well-kept than what he had seen so far, that's for sure. Not as nice as the Massive, of course, but it will do for now. Maybe it even had snacks! That comforting thought gave him a sort of inner warmth that the cold rain soaking him could not chill. He allowed himself a small smile at the thought of comparing the taste of Irken delicacies to the flavor of Earth snacks. Surely Irken snacks were more superior, though he was still curious as to what the substance 'sugar' was that Zim tried to describe the last time he called. It sounded delicious.
Gir following close behind, Purple casually walked into the house, closing the door behind him. The heat in the house felt comforting after the freezing winds outside. A female human with purple hair sat on the couch, tapping at some small device.
"Hi!" Purple greeted, waving. The figure's response was muttering under her breath angrily. He was used to that from being around Red on the days they got a call from Zim, so it hardly intimidated him.
"Is there anything good on?" Purple asked with a patient smile, indicating towards the blank television set.
"Go. Away." These words oozed with absolute loathing. Small black flames danced at the child's feet. Pur obliviously ignored all of this. This child was being difficult, sure, but he was certain he could at least get her engaged in a simple conversation. It might be good to befriend this ugly human for a possible alliance in the future, an insurance that someone always had his back. Or a scapegoat, if needed. Now, the trick is to get on her good side and make her feel good about herself.
"What game are you playing?" he inquired, leaning closer. "Can you teach me how to play it later on? It looks like fun! You're really good at it!"
The girl's head spun around to an unnatural position, a complete one hundred and eighty degrees in order to glare at Purple with an impressive evil eye, accompanied with eyelids twitching. "If you don't leave me alone, Dib, I won't only send you into a nightmare world of which there is no return. I'll sic rabid, mutated, giant rats upon your organs as you beg for mercy at my feet, but all I'll do is sit there and watch as you get devoured from the inside out, starting with your brains. I suggest you leave if you want to keep your organs intact."
Purple quickly backed up a few steps from this demon spawn. She shot him one last glare, giving him the last push needed to bolt up the stairs in terror.
He went into the first room he came upon, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it, gasping for breath. He peered around the dwelling after calming down for a few seconds. It was filled with technology that could come in handy later, if he ever figured out how to work it. That was convenient. If he were Red, that is. This was all useless to him at the moment, since he never paid much attention to how to use technology. That was Red's specialty, not his. But any sentient being could press buttons. He was sure that he could learn how to use it through trial and error.
Purple allowed Zim to fall painfully on to the floor, not caring how he landed or how soft the surface was. That false Invader didn't deserve the luxury of Purple remotely caring how injured he became. Zim was only brought there in the first place because of Gir's decision to become functional for a few minutes. If it were up to him, he would have left the Irken back in the park, awakened by the acid falling from the sky.
The purple-eyed boy with a Tallest personality glanced over at the SIR unit. It was curled up on the bed, twitching from sleep. Perfect. Purple snickered and took the jacket off of Zim before laying it back on the Irken, wet side down. It would only burn the skin slightly, enough to somewhat hurt him, but not painful enough to actually wake the defect up.
He turned away from his prank and sat in a swivel chair nearest to a computer. He cracked his knuckles and moved his hands over the keyboard. What better time than the present to figure out how to use a potentially life-saving piece of technology? Besides, there might be games on there, and TV that he could watch without getting on the bad side of the freaky human downstairs. He eagerly pressed a few keys to guess the password only to have the screen flash red with a blaring alarm.
Purple growled under his breath and glared at the uncooperative screen. A few more tries later, he heard the furious, evil entity downstairs scream upstairs at him to stop making so much noise. Fearful, Purple frantically searched for a volume button of some kind, to no avail. This may take a little longer than he had planned.