"There is one pain I often feel, which you will never feel. It is caused by the absence of you."—Unknown

And so we continue :D I'm trying to update as soon as I can, but I'm so busy these days… Sorry if I get Tarrant's age wrong…very, very, very, very, very, very, very, short.

Happy Readin!

Kylie the Kiwi

Tarrant Hightopp, 21 years old

Not one bloody phone call from the lass. Not one single word had been heard from her. Perhaps she was mad at me for breaking her hand…that would account for it. But it had been almost a year! She had to be healed by now…right?

"Yes 'atter, she oot ta bay!" shouted the mad Hare next to me. Had I been speaking aloud? "Yes," was the answer to my question. I must be more careful what I say. I slumped over onto the tea table and stared off into space, imaging her pretty white face.

More years passed as quickly as they came without a word from the one person I'd ever truly loved. One day, a blonde came to our table, and I automatically knew it was our Champion- Alice. She was the one who would save us from Iracebeth…the Slurvish scuttle git…

I widened my eyes in surprise- she was finally here! I jumped up and walked across the tea table, breaking as few dishes as possible with Thackary yelling at me the whole time.

"Watch what ye're doing!" Mallymkin threatened.

"It's you!" I murmured.

"No it's naught! McTwisp brough' us the wrong Alice!" Mallymkin said from behind.

"It's the wrong Ahlice!" panicked Thackary.

"You're absolutely Alice, I'd know you anywhere," I turned back to look at my friends, "I'd know him anywhere! Well! As you can see, we're still having tea. And it's all because I was compromising with Time, waiting for your return. Terribly late you know, naughty," I pointed to her. "Time became very offended but naught to worsel." She was years late! Years!

"Time can be funny in dreams," she said. Dream? Why, this was no dream, you silly girl!

"Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back, you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous Day!" Oh, Frabjous Day was coming, callooh! Callay!

"Frabjous Day!" the mad friends sang together. Speaking of which, Mirana will be nice and safe after Frabjous Day…

"I'm investigating things that begin with the letter 'M'. Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" I whispered. I barely saw Chessur join us, but he was at the head of the table.

"Down wi' the Bluhdy Behg Hid!" We all said together. I covered up my mouth immediately; know Mirana would consider such behavior to be terribly not good.

"What?" questioned the blond.

"Down with the Bloody Big Head," said Chess. "Bloody Big Head being the Red Queen."

"Come, come. We certainly must commence with the slaying and such!" I said, hinting to the girl. "Now, therefore, it is high time to put you through training to get you ready to kill the creature or whichever comes first in any case! The most convenient- I'm waiting," I said, suddenly interrupting myself to look at my pocket-watch.

"Its tic-it's ticking again!" shouted Thack.

"All this talk of blood and slaying has put off my tea." Red clouded my vision as I glared at the cat.

"Well," I said, sounding pleasant, "the entire world is falling to ruin. And poor Chess is off his…tea."

"What happened that day was not. My. Fault." My eyes burned red with rage.

"Oooooooooh dear," said Thackary. I stood and walked menacingly toward the creature we called a friend.

"You ran oot of there ta save yer own skeen. You guddler's scuttish cuckler grine twocon guggling slurking gurple borgle mork!"

"'atter!" Mally scolded me. I turned toward her and gained my composture.

"Thank you." Thack whispered something inaudible. "I'm fine," I added.

"What's wrong with you Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend," Chessur told me. I suppose he was correct…

"Futter-what?" said the little girl.

"Futterwacken!"

"It's a dance." Thank you Mallymkin, for saving me the explanation.

"On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown- on that day- I shall Futterwacken. Vigorously," I added in a grave tone, gaining a giggle from everyone around me.

Speaking of such things- here comes the Red Army.

"Oooooooooh no!" Thack tried to hide behind Chessur.

"Uh oh…"

"The knights!"

"Goodbye…" Chess disappeared and Thack tried to find somewhere else to hide.

"Drink this, quickly!" I shoved some Pishalver down her throat and stuffed her in my teapot, hiding it on my lap, grinning madly.

"Well. If it's not my favorite trio of lunatics," cackled Illosovic Stayne. I wonder what happened to him. We used to be friends.

"Would you like to join us?" Mally asked, knowing this would offend them.

"You're late for tea!" shouted the Hare, throwing a teacup over the knave's head. The man ducked and scowled, then walked to me.

"We're looking for the girl- called Alice."

"Speaking of the Queen, here's a little song we used to sing in her honor!"

Twinkle, Twinkle little bat!

How I wonder where you're at!

Up above-

He suddenly put me in a choke hold against the back of my seat. "If you're hiding her, you'll lose your heads." I giggled, or tried to.

"Already lost them!" I choked out. "All together no!" I shouted, as he let go

Up above the world so high

Like a tea tray in the sky…

"Ooop!" I whispered as the Bloodhound, Bayard Hamarr, pushed his nose against the teapot Alice was in. "Downal wit' Bluhdy Behg Hid," I whispered to him. He backed away and they left immediately.

"Follow the Bloodhound," ordered Stayne. Mally threw a well aimed sugar cube into Thackary's cup. "You're all mad."

"Thanks very much!"

"Pass the scones please?"

As they rode out of sight, I lifted my pot and placed it on the table very gently. I opened the top and gasped, shutting it again. The girl had no clothes! "Pardon. One moment." I pulled out her cloth- not looking again, mind you- and fashioned a tiny dress out of it. I was rather proud of my handy-work. "Try this on for size." She put it on and I lifted the top when I knew she'd finished- she knocked on the pot. "Eh. I like it!" I decided.

"Good thing the Bloodhound is one of us or you'd be *upp*," she drew her hand across her neck. By one of us, Mally meant the people against the Bloody Big Head. I clawed my fingers at her, silently saying it's naught for usal.

"What do they want with me?"

"Why don't ye bring 'er to the White Queen? She'll be safe thaer! Spoon…"

"Your carriage, my lady," I said, offering her my hat, as she was merely 3 inches off the top of the table.

"A hat?"

"Of course! Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat." And so we began our journey.