And as the bell tolls, signaling the time of midnight, I start to remember how this all started. I remember how desperately and blindly in love I was. I also start to see how blind I was to the coming heartbreak... and how much rage I felt at the newcomer. It was unhuman.
As the bell rings, a certain blonde girl's eyes found themselves scanning the surrounding school yard in hopes for a certain someone to appear. For the past few days, she'd find herself looking for him, thinking about him, and daydreaming about him. And when he was around, she'd always smile. And when he was holding her hand, all she could ever think about was how she just invented a new shade of red. And after two years of this strange situation, she finally figured out what was going on. You see, this certain girl realized that she was in love with this certain boy.
This certain boy was named Len Kagamine. And there was only one problem with this perfect love story.
That certain girl you're hearing about? Her name is Rin Kagamine. As in related- by blood. Siblings. Twins.
And that's where her eyes traveled as she walked. To her blood twin- Len. And where was he now? He was no where short of his group of friends including the aqua-haired guy Mikuo, the redhead Ted, and even the senior Kaito was in his group. Rin's legs slowly found themselves running, leading her towards her target. And what started with a running head start ended in with two blondes on the floor in as a result of a tackle.
"Rin, get your fat ass off me!" The annoyed male grumbled at his sister. She stuck his tongue out at him.
"Nice to see you too, dear brother," she teased, before getting off him. With a groan, the male found his way back onto his feet while the group of friends couldn't help but laugh at his demise. A nice shade of red found its way to his cheeks from the embarrassment.
"Shut it," he spoke with a punch to Mikuo's shoulder. After all, he was the one that started the group laughter. But it was Rin who grabbed Len.
"Come on~" she started, tugging her twins arm. "Mom's gonna kill us if I'm not on time for piano practice,"
"Alright, fine," he grumbled, letting the sister of his drag him. And away they went, as they did every Tuesday and Thursday, to the buses. And from there, those same vehicles would transport them to a dear friend and tutor of the family, Luka.
Rin's P.O.V
Well, this was just strange. Kind of unwanted, but mostly just plain strange. Sure, everyone uses the buses when they get off from school, but this is just ridiculous. It seemed that everyone on the entire planet was here!
"Does everyone in Japan ride this bus?" I groaned. All these extra people made it completely cramped and warm in here. Not to mention, I had to squeeze next to my brother. Yes, it was completely annoying, and quite uncomfortable. I tried to hide it, tried to keep a blush from forming, but it doesn't help that we were in each other's personal space, basically pressing against each other. That, and that I've finally figured out a rather disturbing thought... I found out I was finally in love with him.
Sure, I was really close to him when we were little. And I don't know how, but all I know is that my fondness of him grew. Well, I didn't realize it until I started having dreams about him, and it just grew more detailed over time. Then it led to small blushes by the time we entered High School as freshmen. Sure, I didn't understand it completely, but it caught my attention that something might not be normal here. I mean, he was my brother. But it still bugged me, the way some of my friends kept saying they were in love, and how their reactions seemed more than similar to my own.
And it became worse when the dreams became more graphic.
"Rin, I doubt a hundred million people could fit on one bus," he smirked, interrupting my thoughts. I hated when he did that- being so technical. But the girl inside me melted seeing that smirk. Sure, he was a shouta sometimes, but that smirk just shouted smexy. That's when his face changed. "Rin, are you okay? Are you getting sick?"
Caught. I could have sworn... Darn it! Quickly, I tried to avoid his questioning gaze. The floor seemed much more interesting than him right now, to be perfectly honest. It took me a second, but I had to make sure my voice was smooth and even. But it was almost like trying to sound normal after crying. It's really hard, I can tell you that. "I'm f-fine,"
I'm sure God was looking out for me at that one moment. Slowly the bus stopped in a neighborhood that was truly familiar, announcing our arrival. "We're here," spoke my brother in a monotone voice. He could be such a downer sometimes, honestly. Sure, he had to sit and do nothing but watch his sister play the piano for a good hour, but at least he wasn't in that stuffy house of ours all day.
"Finally," I spoke, stretching my arms up above my head once we were out of the deathtrap. "Out of those people-infected buses," And it was nice, not having to be scrunched up. But Len only shook his head.
"You complain about everything, don't you?" He asked me. I huffed.
"Not everything. Only about what's important?" My ears strained. "What is it you said?" I glared at him childishly.
"Nothing, nothing,"
"I don't believe you," I smacked the back of his head. His eyes quickly went to mine, giving that shouta-puppy eyes I just melt into. Something started to stir in my stomach, like butterflies, as cheesy as that sounds.
"That really hurt," he pouted, rubbing the bump on the back of his head.
"Well, that's what you get," I stuck my tongue out at him once again today. Rin 2. Len 0.
And it seemed like I was the victor. At least, until the door of my piano teacher and best friend's house smacked into my face. I tumbled backwards, onto my rear. Then there was the soprano voice that was the source of my demise. Rin 0. Door 1.
"Are you okay?" that high voice asked me. "Oh my Gosh I am so sorry!" I felt her cool hands on my shoulders as I looked up. There she was. Her eyes aqua, the same color as her twin-tails. She was definitely one of those girls who'd be popular- well known for their beauty. I grumbled. Of course she did it on purpose for some reason that I'd think of later in life and not right now, but I didn't say that.
"I'm fine," I grumbled, getting up with the help of the newcomer.
"Sorry about that," She spoke after I managed to recover from karma. "My name's Miku, by the way,"
"Rin," I still held a grudge against Mik- I mean, Karma.
"Be nice," I heard the hot brother behind me speak to me. But really, did he have to elbow my side too? Did he not see I just got hit by a door? He took Miku's hand, and smiled. "I'm Len,"
She nodded, smiling. At least, until she glanced at the clock on her wrist. "Oh dear! I have to go home! I'll see you all later!" she cheered, before dashing off in a hurry. And after walking in the door, I've come to realize something. I was bothered- a bit angered, you see. Sure, Miku already got on my nerves with her soprano voice and her cheerful, goody-goody nature, but that wasn't the cause. It was the reaction of her being- my brother had those eyes glued onto his face that only meant one thing.
He had a fucking crush on her. Already. I guess that's what love at first sight was.
But when I looked into his eyes, it was back to the usual bored expression at the thought of being here with nothing to do. I shook my head. My brother wasn't the kind to believe in love at first sight. It was my imagination! That's all. I must have been imagining all of that love-struck daze in his eyes...
"Um, are you coming in, or are you just going to stand there?" The woman in the doorway asked sarcastically. She even added the eye roll.
"Yeah, coming Luka!" I said, trying to will the soft shade of pink away from my face.
Len's P.O.V
"Rin, you lazy bum, get your ass out of bed already!" I grabbed the sleeping figure of my sister and tried to shake her awake. If you didn't know better, you would have thought she was dead. I heard her grumble her reply with her head now under the pillows.
"What time is it?" that response, I could barely make it out. Being muffled and all.
"It's around six-thirty. Now get up,"
"If it's not Saturday, leave me alone," I shook my head. I may be younger, but I sure acted like the older one around here.
"Come on. You know school is waiting for us," I tried to grab her legs, dragging her out of bed. But what I got was a older twin who continued to lay in bed, unmoving. "Rin, if you keep this up, I'll bury all of your oranges,"
"You wouldn't!" That got her. Her body flung up from its place under the covers until she was perfectly sitting upwards. Her face glared at mine. Our staring contest begun.
"I would," I tried my best to smile evilly. "And all the orange juice would go down the toilet,"
I heard her huff. "If you did, I'd make sure all the bananas you held dear would go to waste in the ground," I glared at her, but I knew she'd take that threat seriously. When didn't she take a threat seriously?
"Just get changed and be down in a half hour. Any later, and say goodbye to the oranges," I spoke before heading down the stairs.
Rin P.O.V
A blush was heating up my face as Len left the room. I tried to avoid any thoughts of my brother during the argument, but it only came back with a vengeance. He was already half dressed, only missing his shirt. His chest had small muscles and was lightly toned, just enough to get rid of his shouta title... oh dear Lord how that tortured me. I shook my head, getting up and heading into my connected bathroom, trying to shake the thoughts out of my brain.
"Bad Rin. Bad," I grumbled to my reflection in the mirror. "You know this is unwanted. Now stop it," The reflection could only stare back as she changed from her nightgown to the school clothes she was to wear today.
"Are you sure it is unwanted?" the reflection- the small voice in her head- seemed to ask. Rin talking to herself in the mirror was nothing strange. Neither was Rin narrating in third person.
I was quick to respond with a shake of my head. "He's my brother. It would be sick and wrong to love him like this," It could only smile- a smile that showed a person with an idea.
"Sure, he's your brother, but is it truly unwanted?" Reflection Rin tried to whisper in my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine, sending butterflies down my stomach and the beat of my heart to rush. "You know you want him,"
I tried to shake my head once more. "Bad Rin," I tried repeating once more, my blue eyes shut. A few seconds passed without another word spoken from that little voice I had been trying to fight since the very beginning. Warily, I opened my eyes, only seeing the reflection copy my every move. But that conflicting voice did have a point. And no matter how much I wanted to ignore it. No matter how much I wanted to run and hide, I couldn't. Because I knew the truth. I really wanted him to be mine, more than I could possibly want anything else.
I need to find a shrink before I go completely insane.
Quickly my small legs rushed down the stairs as fast as I could, hoping I didn't take too long. While I was busy talking to myself about my smexy brother, time seemed to fly by me out the window. I ran into our kitchen/dinning area, huffing from the flight down the stairs.
"That was close," I spoke, glancing at the clock on the kitchen stove. 6:57 it read. Len smiled.
"For a moment, I thought all the oranges would vanish," He said sarcastically.
"Grr," I growled at him, grabbing my orange from the counter. How tempted I was to hide it away from him, barking Mine! at him, but that wouldn't help the situation. Instead, I plopped down on our couch, turning on the T.V. and munched into my now-peeled orange.
There she was again, in front of us. That aqua-haired girl that headed slammed the door in my face that I still have yet to find a reason to.
Let me explain. My brother and I were heading down the street to the bus stop that led us to school in a half-hour ride. While he was whistling to some song, Spice! I believe it was, I was trying not to stare at him and smile like an idiot. Trust me, it's hard to do. That, and the one time I did I couldn't stop blushing after I was caught. Talk about awkward.
However, it became less of a chore once she stepped in the picture. Miku easily spotted us from the crowd, and bounced our way. Really, she looked like a puppy the way she greeted us.
"Hey Rin! Hey Len!" She smiled.
"Hey Miku," We said at once. Whoever said that twins didn't have a connection, well, they must be plain stupid.
"Um, I really am sorry about the door incident," She mumbled, her head bowed. "Gomen," I looked at her, almost trying to study her. For once, (alright, a lot of times,) she seemed sincere. Almost reminded me of my good friend Luka. Oh well. Forgive and forget, right?
"It's okay," I said after much consideration. My eyes wondered over to my brother, but it was the wrong choice. I saw that love-y gaze, ever so small but present, in his eyes as he looked at Miku.
Class is so damn boring! I mean really. What is a girl supposed to do in math anyway? Alright, let me rephrase that question. What was Rin Kagamine supposed to do in math? My phone was whipped out in my lap, my fingers typing away. It was lucky I sat in the back of the classroom, or else I'd be caught. I don't text that much, so don't judge me. I'm no Neru. But one question bugged me most.
To: Miku Hatsune
Subject: Re:No Subject
Message: How the hell did you get my phone number, Miku?
Alright, so we've been through the first three classes together. Spent some time together, seeing how her seat was conveniently next to mine. What was fate trying to do anyway? Set us up as best friends? Well, I wouldn't be surprised. We just met after all, and we just clicked. So far, I've learned that she was a new student, moved here a month ago. And there was something about her that I could trust. I felt safe around her. And I forgot about that morning's incident.
Who knew grumpy Rin and Goody Miku could be friends so quickly? The phone in my hands buzzed silently, begging for my attention. I glanced at the message given to me.
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: Leeks
Message: Teto-chan gave it to me. Besides, you and I still have some gossip to catch on. You know Meiko, the senior? Well, I've found out who she likes. It's Kaito~
I smiled at the sudden chat she brought up. Way better than any Algebra.
To: Miku Hatsune
Subject: Gossip
Message: And here I thought gossip was a bad thing. Miku doing bad? Never thought I'd see the day. Oh~ That is some good news.
We knew where this was going. A good secret sharing at lunch.
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: More Leeks
Message: Gossip isn't bad if you're telling the truth! So, who do you like, Rinny?
My face hit red instantly. All my hope went towards the fact that Miku didn't notice the red that crawled on my face. I scowled on the inside, cursing myself for thinking of a certain someone right away. My fingers buzzed on my phone keyboard.
To: Miku Hatsune
Subject: No Subject
Message: I don't like anyone.
The phone got a reply sooner than I hoped.
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: Crush
Message: Oh come on Rinny! I saw that blush. So who's the lucky guy? You gotta tell me!
I sighed, thinking of a reply that might save my life. Maybe I could tell her I was shocked by the question? No, that was something every girl was asked sometime during high school. So what did I tell her? Nothing, actually. Nice enough for me, the bell just saved my ass. I got up, packing up my stuff in one hell of a hurry, but not before Miku skipped over to me.
"So~ Who's the lucky guy?" she echoed what she asked in her text. Her pestering wasn't that annoying, to be honest. It was just unwanted; like my fantasies of Len. "Please tell me?"
I shook my head, looking at her. By now, we were walking past our lockers on our way to the secret lunch table my group sat at. Aright, so it wasn't secret. Everyone knew we sat outside under the large oak tree. But it's still exclusive. Gotta be Rin's friend.
"I don't like anyone," I tried to lie. Miku didn't buy it, even as we sat down to enjoy our lunch hour.
"Come oooonn," she pressed further, trying to get as much information as she could. Slowly I unpacked my lunch, as she did hers. "Is he cute?"
I thought about it, sighing. She wasn't going to take no for an answer, was she? Apparently not. Reluctantly, I shrugged and nodded. Miku's response was a squeal.
"Is he sexy?"
I felt like my whole face burst into flames. The moment she asked, I could feel my mind going to those dreams, and his nice chest after seeing his shirtless. Oh dear! Bad Rin! But footsteps interrupted the whole session. Finally; about time. My good friend Meiko and Teto sat down next to us, smiling. I glared at Teto, imediately getting to some unfinished business (and changing to another subject).
"Teto, did you give Miku here my cell number?" I continued to stare her down. And of course, she cracked within a few seconds. I may not be Meiko, being known for her strength and temper, but I could sure pass as a threat.
"She asked to look at my phone," she started out, trying to avoid my eyes. "And she copied down your number,"
Then my attention turned to Miku, who shrugged while eating one of her favored leeks. "Hey, there was no harm done!"
No harm my ass.
Sad day for me. Miku wasn't in my last classes, but I guess that was okay. Not even fate could fit her in all my classes, no matter how hard it tried. But that wasn't my main worry right now. What was my main worry? Well, it's the same thing I do every day after school. Find some excuse to find my crush/brother as fast as I possibly can, find some excuse to be alone with him, and try not to tackle-and-rape him. No matter how much I wanted that last part...
I could feel my eyes strain to see my brother as I walked through the crowd of students eager to leave the school grounds for the weekend. But he wasn't where he usually waited. Strange... Slowly, I made my way around campus, trying to find the one I usually catch up to right now. It grew easier to focus as the millions of people left, but I still didn't find Len.
My stomach turned. Was something wrong with him? No, surely he was fine. He's never been sick before, and he'd never had a reason to get into a fight. So why did I have this strange feeling something was wrong? That voice screamed in my head to stop looking and go on home without him.
Please! Please just go home!
I shook my head, too stubborn to give up. I couldn't understand why I wanted to go home alone all of a sudden. I didn't expect anything, really. But more importantly, I never expected anything like what I found. By the lockers- that's where my heart shattered into millions of pieces. By the lockers is where I felt my world turn upside down, despite any of my own warnings. By the lockers is where fate decided to reveal its true nature, and why it set Miku and I up. By the lockers, by her locker, I found Len.
Len held the aqua-haired girl close to him. His hands roamed from her hips to behind her back. Miku- she hand one hand against his fine chest, while the other ran through his silky blonde hair. Their lips were together in such a way that made my stomach want to empty every single bit of its contents that it held. I could tell their tongues were dancing, and saliva hung from the sides of their mouth. The way they were trying to meld into one...
My brother was making out with that... whore...
The book in my arms dropped down to the floor as my mind went numb. I didn't know what I was doing, or where I was headed, but I ran. I ran and ran, trying to get as far away from them as possible.
"Rin!" I heard my named being called out by my brother.
But I didn't want to be anywhere near them. Not when my heart just shattered.
My destination was finally registered when I closed the door to the girl's bathroom and just sat there on the cold tile. My hands held my throat. I couldn't breathe. My chest, all I knew was that it hurts. It hurt, and I couldn't breathe. Every intake of breath was interrupted by the hiccup of a sob or the cough of choking. Warm liquid ran down my cheeks, never stopping. Never ending. The blood that ran through my body? It was no longer warm liquid, but cold needles.
Ever had your heart broken? It feels like someone took a hammer, and started striking your chest over and over again. It may be an emotion- love- but it hurts as if it was a physical organ. And you can't breathe. You can't breathe, because your lifeline was cut from you. You can't breathe, because your brain just stops functioning. And all you can feel is that pain that chokes you so.
I felt weak at that moment. I felt like giving up everything I had. My arms, my legs, my head, it all lie limply against the wall not before long. It all hurt; it all hurt as if someone had stabbed be with a knife. I knew I couldn't love my brother, but this wasn't anything I ever expected. My tears continued to blur my vision until things started to become black. But that didn't bother me. All I cared about was that image that was forever burned in my vision. The slut that I thought was my friend only hours ago, making out with the one that I loved... Len completely crushed me.
No. Miku completely crushed me. She stepped on every being of me. She betrayed everything I was...
There are a thousand ways to burn and die, my dear brother. Suffocation. Drowning. Shattering. Feeling no Purpose. Feeling no Love. Glass Shards. Burning. Being eaten alive. Acid. And Slowly Dying, with no relief...
Dang... well, this chapter was harsh. And it took forever, no less. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I tried to check over them all, trying not to be rushed, but this chapter ended up so long! I hope you guys love the effort I put into this.
~Miko
Disclaimer: I am paranoid. Please, do not attempt any suicide attempts at the mention of any ideas. I repeat, DO NOT attempt suicide in the ways I have described. I will not be held accountable.