Chapter three jizzing all over the scene. What? Anyway. I'm glad that the people who are reading this are enjoying it instead of making death threats to me which are welcome too. =) Do something.. Anyway here is chapter three of this really dumb story
They stood up and looked behind them and saw a big Russian bear because that's what Russia's political animal is. You know how the Democrats have donkeys and the Republicans have elephants? Yeah well Russia has bears. "What are you looking at pussy-shit American?" Wombo was caught staring at him.
He thought he would say something like that so he quickly retorted with "I am looking at a scared little child. You need a hug. When is the last time you were hugged?"
The bear scoffed "We Russians are not scared children. We do not need your bullshit comfort called a hug." he spit at the ground in front of Wombo
"I'm pretty sure you need a hug." he held out his arms. The bear only looked at him like he was crazy.
"If I give you a hug will you stop talking?" Wombo nodded his head
The bear sighed and looked away and went into the warm embrace that Wombo was possessing. He slightly liked it and then snapped out of it. "Get off me faggot." He pushed the persistent vulpine away from him who stopped.
"Achem! If we may continue we have better things to do than pussyfoot around with my men. Now please follow me." the previous voice said. It came from a jaguar who was wearing a trench overcoat and fingerless gloves. He also had a pierced ear with a little tiny hoop ring. Like it was honestly a ring through his ear. He wore heavy Russian boots with the Russian emblem on the right boot.
"Yeah quit flirting with his dude." Whitefur yelled
"I'm not flirting with him. He has some issues and I thought we could help deal with those. But I guess not." Wombo snapped
"Gentlemen! Please let us go." the panther said in an attempt to actually get somewhere which would be good because this a terrible excuse of a chapter so far. They followed him down a corridor where there were other people working on something or possibly just pretending to do something important. They were various machines which beeped and booped and other various noises that were probably unnecessary but whatever. They approached the middle which was a holographic table that showed various planets in the universe. "Gentlemen please take a seat." the panther offered a hand showing them where the seats were.
"Ah these crappy ass seats?" Tyronos asked kinda tweaked
"You can stand you don't have to sit." Whitefur said
Tyronos looked at him and the seat. "Fine.. Stupid.. Tit.." Tyronos mumbled to himself while taking a seat.
"Now then gentlemen we need your help." the panther repeated
"Yeah you told us that before. So what do you need done?"
"The planet Sauria is collapsing." He pointed towards the middle of the table where a small little marble size ball was which looked very similar to the Dinosaur planet. "We originally sent StarFox to get the job done but that was a month ago. We heard that you guys were more efficient than them."
"What?" Wombo said after flicking a booger from his finger. Tyronos and Whitefur smacked their foreheads at his inability to pay even the slightest bit attention.
"Perhaps our information was wrong. Maybe you guys aren't that efficient."
Tyronos leapt to his feet "We are he is just a little off. Trust me sir we can do this."
The panther looked at the trio of vulpines and thought a little 'Well.. The black one is probably half retarded. The one they call Tyronos is kinda bitchy. Well.. Whitefur.. I can really bag on him.. Except that he extremely white. But that is about it. Ah fuck it! The author of this story can't think of a better thing to do then have me think about these three morons and if they are capable about doing the mission. He can make them capable so whatever. Besides if they die it should make for a funny ending.'
"Fine.. I will give you a chance to do this. But if you fuck up. I will hunt you guys down and rip your heads from your bodies and keep them mantled on my wall. I will jack off to the memory of doing it every other Thursday. I will jizz all over your faces when I get off. Do you hear me?" Tyronos looked at him for any indication that he was joking
He wasn't..
"We understand sir. So you really didn't tell us what we need to do." He was handed a folder which said "Classified" and in even smaller writing it said "If you tell anyone else about this information we will fucking kill you."
"That contains what you will need to know and remember keep this information safe and let no one else find out. We will kill you if the public finds out about this."
"Well what is this?"
"I don't know but don't let me find out because we'll kill you."
"Yeah we got that.."
"We'll kill you."
"Yeah you've said that about forty times."
"We'll kill you."
"Come on let's go guys."
"We'll kill you." But that fell on deaf ears. They left the building and went back to the stationwagon wondering what the hell the author just put them through. Like that was a trip.
"So what are we going to do?" Whitefur asked
"Well it says here that they want us to find.. Santa?" Tyronos said wondering if this was true
"Are you shitting me? Santa? Isn't he in the North Pole?"
"No he lives in Finland." Wombo said
"Well apparently him and went to the planet Sauria because the elves were being little pricks and they left to take some time off." Tyronos explained
"Well shit.. I wonder why they sent StarFox after them." Whitefur queried
"Well we won't find out here! Let's go save Santa!" Wombo exclaimed. He turned on the staionwagon and they created a sonic boom on their way to the Dinosaur planet to go save Santa.
Look! Three chapters in a week! There amazingly short though. So what? I'm updating huh? True. Alright I might or might not have a chapter up later today continuing from where this left off. You'll see what I'll do. WOMBO OUT!