Important info at bottom:
Rin's POV
It's been another week or so, and some of the worst has happened- but at the same time, things have returned to normal. It's returned to normal in the sense that the one that I love had kept leaving me behind and kept dating that hateful, aqua-haired bitch Miku. It's returned to normal knowing that I still want him to be mine, and I've begun to seclude myself from any contact again. And how it's changed? My life's changed, it had become worse, because my brother had started this habit of pushing me away whenever I got near; I could easily assume he figured it out the same way I did. He was a smart person, after all.
And believe it or not, that wasn't the largest part of my worries. FML much?
No, that isn't the biggest thing. School starts in one more week. In one week. Knowing the teachers, homework will be delivered in abundance, giving me no time to myself. And of course, that means having to be with my brother most of the day. It doesn't seem like much to most other people, but it vents up. And, being around my brother means being around Miku most of the damn time, including almost all my classes. When I see them together... This just wasn't going to work out for me in the slightest.
Already the waves, though dulled, continue to push at my heart. Not nearly enough to be pushed into the despair of tears, but enough to set me on edge. And These thoughts- they are strange enough. I always thought myself to be the tough girl, always winning in a fight, but this just proves me wrong. Who I really am? I am a girl who commits an illegal and un-tolerated sin deep in her heart, and cries and hides at the thought of something that could never be. And as weak as I may be, I could never tell him the truth, even after an incident as life-changing as this. I hated all of this.
Maybe I was being tested? Or more likely, maybe, I was nothing more than God's personal entertainment center. Let's face it, God hates me. Hell isn't enough, he says, so he brings to it Earth instead.
And sometimes, just sometimes, I wished to end it all. I wished to grab the knife that lay underneath my pillow and just end all of this misery and anxiety. Who knew how long I was going to suffer-?
My phone continued to ring, over and over again, interrupting any of my current and further self-pitying. I didn't want to get up from my comfortable position for any reason- the sheets scrambled all over me with my head under the pillow. The arm of mine slowly reached for the orange phone, which was still playing its tone of the fitting little tune Love is War. Without looking at who could be possibly calling me at my comfortable time of nine in the morning, and possibly regretting it, I put it next to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked, my voice still groggy from restless sleep. I almost wanted to snap the phone shut immediately. Yep, I was definitely regretting it.
"Rinny? How are you?" It was none other than her with that annoying voice that I wanted to silence forever. Sure, I was hurting- it happened every time she was around my love. But when I heard her- when I see her- alone, I feel this pure rage that wants me to murder her, even after she was dead. But that would hurt Len, wouldn't it? Not that I haven't hurt him enough.
"What do you want?" I grumbled, not wanting to go that long path. She called for something, and God damn it I don't want to hear her shrill voice on the line any longer.
"How rude," I heard her huff on the other line, going on to less exciting topics. My head started to tone her out, a habit of mine I've been picking up lately. Instead, my mind traveled to Len again. We've been so distant lately, and it just hurts... I know he knows. Did I hurt him that badly?
"Rinny...?" That voice was annoyed, and blew out my eardrum. I grumbled for the second time.
"Yes?" I asked, faking my lightened mood. My eyes rolled.
"You didn't hear a thing I said, did you?" What was she, my mother?
I sighed into the phone. We both knew the answer, "If I told you no, would you be happy?"
"Rin. I'm disappointed." Oh, so now she used my real name. "I told you that there was a carnival opening today! We should totally go. And no, you have to go. You've been in that stuffy room all week! You have to get out more,"
I ignored her statement. "Not going,"
"You have to come. Len and the others already said you were. Don't try to fight it, Rinny,"
"And if I refuse?"
"Don't make us get the rope, Rinny," Kidnap, of course. What are they going for, exactly?
"Fine," I spoke, seeing how I had no choice. "Bye,"
Without another word from either of us, I shut the phone and lay it back on the nightstand, beside my table lamp. But I still didn't move from my extremely comfortable position under the scrambled pile of sheets and blankets. I didn't move my head from under the pillows, but instead closed my eyes, allowing me some time to think and maybe even fall asleep- despite the bitch's wishes. And thoughts did wander my head, going and spinning around at hundreds of miles per hour. I understand why the unspoken others would want to force me out of my room in any ways possible, but why Len? Why would Len care about getting me out of my room and outside when everyone would be hanging out together?
I snuggled my arms under my pillow. Maybe he got over this problem faster than I ever could. After all, it was only an accident, wasn't it? And he's still my brother. It's his job to care for me, and I know he would. Another sigh escaped my lips.
"I'm so damn confused,"
Len's POV
Where was I now, one might ask. Right now, I was staying in my room, which wasn't uncommon for me this past week. Some things have changed lately, to be perfectly honest. Things between Rin and I, they've just changed. I've been keeping myself distant from her. I don't know why I've been pushing myself away from my own sister. As small kids, we used to be so close, and we could have shared everything. Why was this any different? I mean, all that was a week ago was an accident, was it not? I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples while pausing the game of 'Left 4 Dead'. Maybe it was just so different this time, because it was wrong. I've been thinking more when I am alone, and when I have, I started to think more of my sister.
For one thing, I am her brother. Even if something as awkward as this happened, shouldn't we support each other through all this?
For another thing, I'm only her brother. When I first found out what happened that night, I knew it was sick, twisted and wrong. I knew it was nothing but disgusting, and I was honestly made my stomach turn painfully at the thought of something like that happening between us. But the more my thoughts went back to those memories, the more that little voice inside my head went off, questioning me. Did I really think it was twisted, it kept asking? Did I really find it wrong and disgusting? I always answered yes to those questions, and I've always thought I meant it, but now I've really begun to doubt myself; these feelings inside me are starting to think differently that I should be thinking.
I felt my hand run through my hair, careful not to let down the ponytail that kept me from looking like Rin.
And besides that, even if- on the slim chance- that I was falling for someone that was my own sibling, I was still loyal. I was currently with Miku now, and I loved her deeply. I truly and fully cared about her. Even if something like this incident started to change me, I wouldn't let it affect my life or affect hers, either. I loved her to the fullest. A single sigh escaped my lips as I turned off the game that I was playing. I lost my interest in it, anyway.
My feet started to lead me out of my room, towards downstairs, until the familiar tone of Kokoro and Kokoro Kiseki played on my yellow cell phone. Not one to be surprised by this, I quickly retraced my steps as my arms reached for the nightstand and picked up. I knew who it was going to be, speak of the devil.
"Hey Miku~" I spoke, a smile finding its way to my face. Her cheerful atmosphere was one to keep you in your own ecstatic atmosphere, even over the phone.
"Hey to you too, Len-len," I never did mind the nicknames, even if it was a bit silly in reality.
"So, what's up?" I asked her, putting my free hand into my pocket. My eyes traveled to outside the window, letting my thoughts wander. White snow continued to appear all over the neighborhood, and they way it just shined made it seem like Wonderland. It was truly beautiful.
"Oh yeah!" she cheered. Even if she was a nice person, she could be so forgetful sometimes. "The winter carnival opens today! I'm inviting the whole gang."
"That does sound like fun,"
"Is Rinny coming with too? I haven't seen her since your guy's birthday party," Miku sounded worried. I was getting worried as well. That sister of mine, she hasn't been out of her room in a while. Sometimes I wondered what was wrong with her. This just wasn't right. And of course I wasn't going to do anything.
"Of course Rin-chan is coming with us," I volunteered for her.
"Alright!" I could almost see that evil smile of hers. "I'll make sure to bring the battering ram,"
I couldn't help but chuckle. Whether it was at how cute Miku was acting, or if it was because of the hidden truth in her statement, I didn't notice. I smiled towards the phone. "I'll see you later today,"
"Bye, Lenny," Slowly I shut the phone, ending the conversation, and putting said phone into my pocket. Today was going to be a good day, I could feel it. Now if only Rin would stop moping around.
General POV
It wasn't long until the blonde girl fell, once again, into her sleep. Sprawled all over the bed, hidden my a mess of blankets, and her head under the pillow, her bed resembled much of the room she refused to clean when she had the perfect chances. The figures slowly, ever so carefully and quiet, glanced into the open room with eyes shining and evil smiles plastered on their faces. With tip toes, they made their way stealthily over to the bed.
In this light, it was easy to see who they were, if the girl was awake. One was the aqua-haired, leek loving teen by the name of Miku. The one next to her was none other than the red head, sake-drinking Meiko. And lastly, the banana loving blonde, and the twin of the sleeping girl, Len. Miku slowly raised her hand next to the pillow, only to reveal a blowhorn.
BEEEE!
The blonde in bed jumped several feet into the air, landing not in bed, but beside it on the hard ground. A small growl escaped her lips as her blue eyes opened, showing none other than those three snickering at her misery. Maybe this was why they invited her? She grabbed the blowhorn from the aqua-haired "bitch" and slammed her on the head with it, before giving Len the same treatment. Meanwhile, Meiko was left alone.
"What the HELL?" Rin glared at all three of them, rubbing her head to hopefully rid of the ringing in her ears. She was definitely awake now.
"We warned you, Rinny-chan~" Miku sang in her high-pitched voice. Her smile drove the anger deep inside of said blonde. Her head turned towards Len.
"And you were part of this? To think you'd be so mean," she growled, getting up after rubbing her head. All they could do was snicker.
"Well, she did warn you," He laughed, enjoying being the younger brother again. The twin huffed, feeling her heart flutter so suddenly. She missed this kind of treatment, being able to joke around with her friends. Well, maybe not when she was the one being picked on.
"Yeah, Yeah," she mumbled, pushing her group of friends out of the way as she got up from the ground beneath her.
"I guess you have to go with us to the carnival now~" That was Miku again. Rin sighed, pushing them towards the door to get them out of there.
"Well, let me get changed!" She growled, closing the door on them. But her heart started to drop dead. Right before the door shut, she saw her brother and the one she hated more than life holding hands. Alone in the room, with the sound of the group's laughing heading downstairs, she let her head hang. Bangs covered those blue eyes of hers, hiding the tears that started to form and fall down the sides of her cheeks. That hand clutched her chest, as if her heart was exploding.
Why couldn't he just love her back?
0o0o
With the sound of Meiko's black mustang locking, the group of several people walked into the gates that led into the winter Carnival. This group, you ask? It included none other than Kaito, Miku, Mikuo, Meiko, Rin, Len, and Teto. Kaito was talking to himself about different ice cream flavors, wondering what possible new creations they'd have here this year. Miku and Len held hands, talking to each other and laughing with one another. Teto was ahead with Meiko, leading the group with pride and a swing in her step. Mikuo kept near his sister, giving the evil glance of doom every once and a while to the blonde boy.
But the poor girl Rin, she walked slowly in the back of the group, looking down at the snow beneath her. Her heart started beating, twisting, turning, and doing strange leaps and flips. Her thoughts were full of nothing more than the torture that she believes God had given her.
"What's wrong?"
Rin nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden interruption of her thoughts. That voice was cool and calm, almost nonchalant. But there was just that single edge of emotion that set it aside from being completely cold. Her blue eyes looked up to see familiar aqua hair, but it wasn't anything that set off hate.
"It's nothing, Mikuo," she turned her head to the side, wanting to avoid any eye contact. She didn't know him well, besides name and relations, and it wasn't someone she'd open up to easily.
"Come on guys!" the group called from the distance.
She felt Mikuo's' hand ruffle her hair, and Rin could only huff. His smirk was clearly visible on his face as he started to catch up with his sister. What gave him the right to do that, anyway? A glare started to emit from her blue eyes, but soon disappeared as she was dragged by the arms by Teto.
0o0o
The winter carnival was, well, breathtaking. Many booths stood line in line, with little red lanterns hanging from them. Each of these booths held games- from coconut toss to balloon pop- even the dunk tank was out and optional, which was surprising for the fact it was winter. Two Farris wheels stood tall, only next to the freefall tower. There was the occasional roller coaster here and there, and the crowd was just huge. The planners must have outdone themselves this time. And the lights weren't even on, yet.
"Wow..." Teto just gasped in awe at the large carnival. "What should we do first?"
Eyes glanced around, here and there, wondering about what to do. Many cheers rang out from the small group of visitors.
"I think we should go to the Merry-go-round!"
"No way, that's lame. We should go to the freefall!"
"I think the roller coasters are better. I wanna ride the Tornado!"
"Well, I think we should go look at their ice cream," All eyes turned towards the blue haired man, glaring.
"No way,"
"That's really lame,"
He huffed, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk as he pouted childishly. "I thought it was a good idea."
Everyone continued to argue over what ride to go on, before everyone just started to split up. Meiko took her way to the alcohol booth, while Kaito started to dance for glee at the ice cream shop. Teto headed straight for the coconut toss, hoping to win one of the great stuffed toys. However, Miku and Len had teamed up on their siblings, grabbing them by the arms and dragging them through the crowd of many people.
"Woah! Where are we going?" Rin spoke out as the two were dragged by their own relatives.
Miku pointed ahead of them, where the line wasn't as long as most would think a ride would have been. "Over on the freefall," she cheered. Rin could only gulp, and tried to pull away from the grasp of her brother as the four got closer to the ride.
"No way!"
Mikuo, giving in and no longer being dragged, couldn't help but smirk her way. "You're not afraid, are you?"
She glared at the boy. "Never,"
Rin didn't realize how wrong she was. The line was too short for her liking, and quickly they were seated on the horizontal line of chairs- with Miku next to her boyfriend, and Mikuo next to Rin. As the harnesses were being lowered, she could only grasp them for dear life. Slowly the seat crept up the tower, ever so painfully reaching its top point of seventy feet. The blonde's heart was beating wildly with fear as her arms kept tingling from anxiety. And then she screamed.
The seat dropped quickly as if a string that held it up was cut. It was so fast- how the horizontal seat dropped towards the ground below. But it stopped suddenly, and started climbing back up. Rin squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to suffer anymore of this. But she squealed again when she seat dropped. It was for a shorter amount of time, but still scary.
"Please make it stop," she whispered to whatever God lay in the heavens, tears starting to gather at the corner of her squeezed-shut eyes. "Please make it st-AAAH~"
It dropped again, stopping five feet from the ground. And higher it went once more, reaching the top of the tower once more. The blonde barely responded by looking over, seeing Mikuo's smirk as his hand rested on hers.
"You're not scared, are you?" He asked in that voice of his. Her glare increased, a shade of pink forming around her cheeks.
"Not in the slightest!" She wished her words were proven right, but as she looked down to the ground, it started to grow closer. Wind rushed through her hair and her face as she shut her eyes, squeezing the hand that still stayed in hers. She wouldn't have noticed the aqua haired boy's face grow a faint shade of pink.
0o0o
She stumbled off the ride, falling to the ground and kissing it immediately. "Oh sweet ground~ How I've missed you~"
"It wasn't that bad," Spoke the twin brother, grabbing Rin's arm and pulling her up from the street. As she managed to regain her composure- dusting herself off and calming down from the slight fright- her hand found its way to the back of his head. The sound of the impact was easily audiable.
"What was that for?" he winced, his hand rubbing the point of impact. His blue orbs reflected the abused puppy-eyed look. But this didn't phase her as she returned a glare with eyes so identical.
"You know I can't stand those kinds of rides," She responded with a sharp tongue.
"Oh, so you were afraid?" Mikuo stepped closer, standing behind Rin with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His head was near her ear as he asked, causing her to jump back in slight shock, followed by a glare and the faint shade of a hidden blush.
"Was not," she growled.
"So it wasn't you screaming your lungs out?" the aqua-haired boy smirked, ruffling her hair and her white bow. The blonde beauty looked away pouting.
"You can't prove a thing," was her response.
He smiled, whispering in her ear. "Are you sure about that?"
0o0o
"We are NOT going on this ride, either!" Before the line the group of four was in, was the thing that many had called and labeled the Tornado. It was the roller coaster with the most violent twists, turns, and not to mention drops. Many people were screaming who were currently on the ride, and those who were finally allowed off could barely walk in a straight line. Rin gulped, turning around.
"Are you afraid?" Mikuo could only joke once more. Rin stopped in mid step, growling and turning around.
"I damn hate you," She whispered, walking back to the line.
And once again the cycle starts. The group of four teens sat in their seats, grabbing on to their harnesses as the safety rails were lowered. It didn't seem like long until the soft sound of chains dragging the coaster up a steep hill, leading to the first large drop. Rin quickly closed her eyes, trying not to show the fear on her face. Her knuckles turned white as she hung on to the harness.
"Dear lord," she cursed. The coaster slowly stopped, and she dared to open her eyes. What she saw next completely shocked her. The wind rushed through her golden locks as the coaster let gravity take over, rushing it in the downward direction. Her head started beating in her ears as she shut her eyes. The motion of spinning around and around easily got her off guard for the second climb and drop. But this time, she screamed, clinging to the person next to her without thought.
"Get me off this thing!" she whispered as the ride continued to spin around and around, making the blonde girl giving out an occasional squeal. Mikuo looked at her before smirking through a small shade of red.
"You are scared, aren't you little mouse?" he joked. Rin growled, pushing away from him before shutting her eyes at another climb. The coaster teetered and tottered at the top, making her hold on for dear life.
"Okay, yesI'mafraid," she whispered, trying not to squeal. At least until the ride gave one last final fall before leaving to a fall. Slowly it stopped as the seats started to rise, allowing Rin to safely open her eyes without the fear of another drop. She jumped up, running to the floor and waiting for Len and her own green enemy- waiting to give them a special punch in the back on the head. Little would she realize the hand that held hers during the ride.
0o0o
The group of four, after much arguing and violence- mostly Rin abusing Len in such a loving way, and our dear Mikuo making fun of Rin for being so afraid of such little things- they managed to get here. Where was here, exactly? Well, "here" was at one of the booth attractions. To be more specific, something called Coconut Shy. Apparently, it's a dollar for each throw. You are given one ball, then you throw it at coconuts that set of pedestals in a line. Knock over the coconut, you get three dollars in return. Easy, right?
"Damn you thing!" Rin called out, throwing her fifth ball.
Apparently, it wasn't the easiest thing in the world, ne?
"Come on Rin. It's obviously a scam," her brother had put a hand on her shoulder after she threw the white ball right into the center of the coconut. It had moved slightly, but remained in place. She growled at the thing, slapping down another dollar on the booth. The salesman seemed quite happy.
"Not until I get this thing knocked over!" The persistent blonde grabbed the ball, knuckles turning white, and threw it with as much force as she could. In the way only animators could get correctly, it bounced off the coconut, off the roof of the booth, and managed to hit Rin on the hand.
"Damn it!" she screamed, waving her hand up and down. Those blue eyes of her looked up, about to glare at the coconut, until-
"I got it!" she cheered, hand-pain forgotten, seeing the brown nut being knocked over and now resting on the floor. The salesman, his smile not one bit faltered since he had earned a profit from the stubborn young girl, handed her three dollars in return. He smiled, looking right at Rin and speaking in his best voice.
"Well, that was a great shot! I bet you could manage that ag-" He blinked before he could finish, seeing the girl being dragged by the hand away from the booth by both the boys. He shook his head in disappointment, going back to his regular customers.
"I could have gotten it again!" Rin growled, now at the point of walking with the four instead of being dragged. Len turned around, pointing a finger at his sister.
"That thing was a scam," he lectured, soon getting his finger bitten by the childish older sister. He winced, pulling his finger away and glaring at his sister. Of course, Miku made a huge fuss about it. But that didn't catch her attention.
"That wasn't exactly what I'd call 'nice'," Rin heard the a certain brother of the girl she hate speak sarcastically. Her first reaction was that she glared at him, once again seeing that smirk of his. Was he going to do this forever?
"Well, he knows I don't like his nagging," She half-lied. Yes, she didn't like the nagging, but it wasn't something she'd want to live without. Who else could she ignore? She shook her head as she saw the others ready to leave, getting ready to go with her brother and his girlfriend. But a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
When Rin had turned around, she still saw that smirk from the aqua-haried before it pressed softly against her lips. Red rushed up her face in a flood, but it was over as soon as it hard started. Her mind traveled wildly. At first, she wanted to punch at him, but as she thought about it, maybe she liked it? But didn't she like her brother? It didn't matter, she finally decided. In fact, she actually did like it- no, him...
0o0o
After all, things started to get dark. It was now when the lights started to shine, from the rides themselves to the red lamps that hung from the booths. Right now, the group was finally all together after a long, and rather energy wasting day. Miku looked over to her sweetheart, giving him a peck on the cheek as every single person- Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Mikuo, Teto, Len and herself- sat in the hills up towards the top of the carnival. Her greeness smiled as her boyfriend gave her one in return, before pointing a finger to their siblings.
Turning around to look, Len would see none other than Mikuo holding his sisters hand. Nothing close, but enough to give away the hint. He smirked inwardly, knowing everything would be working out today.
Today, I managed to find some new love. I'll admit, I was a bit skeptical at first. I mean, I was still head over heels in love with the one that would never return my feelings. But that day, when he turned me around, giving that smirk that I new I inwardly loved, that's when it changed me. In his own way, he showed how much he cared about me with a simple kiss. And in that way, I managed to move on.
How little did I know things would grow to be much worse. In the way only God loves, torture would wash over my pain more than any physical wound would. And to be truthful, I wanted so badly to end it all. And God forbid, I was ready to die. I was ready to end my life. I was going to end my life, not that anyone would care.
Alright, so I managed to post the next chapter in.. what.. a few days? Don't expect much in the next week or so, when I'm busy with a project.
:3 And~ I'm holding the next chapter hostage. 50 reviews or no chapter 8 for any of you!
Anyway, I know this is rushed, but I would have never finished it if I didn't rush. So please, ignore it. But I will tell you what happened. Rin fell in love with Mikuo. Whether it was a real love, or some reason a horrible trick **coughittotallyiscough*, they fell. But as in the end, not for much longer. Oh... read to find out!
EDIT: Wow... How the HELL did THAT happen? First person in the middle of a 3rd person paragraph? I need to get my editors on task. Dang. Well, its fixed now.