In case any of you wondering, I am not gay. I do not like guys phalluses in my butt or in my mouth. Oh I've been getting threats by Russians for this story. I was only joking guys Russians are awesome ok? I do not want to threaten your way of life. So here we go Chapter Five. Keep those reviews coming in. HUA! DRUMMER POOP! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
"Sir they have landed on the planet and are making their way towards the Palace. What do you want us to do?"
"DO I HAVE TO HOLD YOUR FUCKING HAND THROUGH EVERYTHING? SEND OUR MEN AFTER THEM! YOU DUMB LITTLE BASTARD!"
"Yes sir.. It shall be done sir.."
"Guys where are we going? I swear to god I've seen that tree like five times." Tyronos pointed to a sign that had half naked dinosaur women and also said "Live Nudes. Cum for Tranny Tuesdays."
"Have you ever been to Sauria? That's all that's here and they advertise the fuck out of it so that it's extremely common. Besides the mosquitos the size of canned hams. There is one right there." They all looked where Whitefur was pointing which was a mosquito the size of a canned ham.
"What's up?" the mosquito said
Wombo jumped up into Tyronos's arms new bride style. Wombo looked up at Tyronos "How's it going.. Can you let me down?" He let go of Wombo who fell with a thud. "Ow you dick!"
Whitefur approached the mosquito "Hey do you remember seeing a vulpine about my size coming through here? He has a white streak of hair that goes down the middle, green eyes, orange-reddish fur."
The mosquito looked deep in thought. Five minutes later he said "Shit I know what you're talking about yeah that guy came through here said he was going to go save Santa and Christmas. Went to the local bar to go find out where they last saw the fat man."
Whitefur thanked the mosquito and went off towards the local bar "My name is Bill by the way. If you guys were interested I'm extremely good friends with the owner and I can get information that most people can't. Besides you guys look new here and the local gangs would tear you guys a new cornhole because they don't have enough money to get into the live nude shows and get a private session so they rape dudes for some reason but beat up homosexuals. I find it to be an extreme contradiction but denial only goes so far."
"Right... Alright well lead the way.. Bill." Whitefur let him lead them into town.
In twenty minutes they witnessed a site they haven't seen since the Big Four played in Sofia Bulgaria which was awesome and probably way more awesome than what they were witnessing now but they couldn't compare it to anything else. Maybe when Lamb of God played in Philadelphia but they weren't sure because the crowd seemed kind of lame on the CD version for a Lamb of God concert which was some mega failz fist.
The town that Bill had lead them into was looked like in the video game Red Dead Redemption the town of Armadillo. It had a jail in which their criminals were held up in and the sheriff took residence. It had a general store and a doctor's office. It also had the Strip Club which advertised their Dinosaur women getting nailed by a tranny dinosaur.
"Dude this place gets weirder and weirder. Talking mosquitos. Dinosaur trannys. What the fuck is this author have? I bet he'll probably go kill some people if they make a joke about him." Tyronos said to his two friends
"I agree we should bail as quickly as possible. We probably stand out like we wouldn't believe." Wombo said
"Yeah I do not like this story so far. I can't believe the person who originally came up with the idea for me let me get into this story. Fuck my life." Whitefur said a tear welling up in his eye
"Yeah me too bro. God damn it Hopeless-Tyronos I will fucking murder you if I get the chance." Tyronos said shaking his fist at the blue sky
"Whatever you guys I was created by him so I'll probably be the weirdest one. He probably feels a little sympathy towards you two but towards me. He could have me get fucked in the mouth by those trannys and like it.. Ugh.." Wombo complained
"What are you guys talking about back there?" Bill asked stopping their conversation
"Not about getting fucked in the mouth by Dinosaur Trannys if that's what you mean." Wombo said quickly
Bill looked at him extremely confused and a little bit horny
"... Keep that type of shit to yourselves.. Faggots.."
"Is that them?"
"Yeah, description matches up."
"Why are they even here?"
"My guess is the same as the other guys reason to be here. We'll catch these guys just like we caught the other guy."
"Right. Set it to stun then?"
"You know what.. Set it to 'Barely Alive' that should make it fun for us."
"You got it sir."
They entered the local bar which happened to be the Live Nudes place. They looked around and saw some decent looking Dinosaur women dancing for their men and money so they could feed themselves. Wombo squinted his eyes when he looked over at the back corner.
"Dude check out that chick. What is that?" Wombo asked Tyronos who then looked back their too. He immediately covered his mouth and his cheeks expanded as if something had filled them. "What? What is it?" Tyronos pointed down towards the genital area of what they were checking out. Wombo imitated what Tyronos did not even five seconds ago.
"Hey guys isn't today Tuesday? I don't see any Trannys anywhere" Whitefur asked. His two friends then puked the contents of their stomachs up which included a piece of toast and eggs, fireworks and the board game Stratego. The puke was orange and quickly switched to red as they started puking up blood.
"Oh my fucking God guys! Are you puking up blood?" The puke immediately turned back to orange. It must have been the lights in this place. After they recovered from their experience they noticed that everyone else was staring at them.
"Hey.. How's it going." Wombo waved at them half-heartily. They immediately went back to what they were doing before the show. They sat down at the bar, the bartender came towards them and asked "What'll it be?"
"I'll take a Shirley Temple" The bartender immediately made Wombo his drink. He took a sip of it and four people came in and sat down at the bar with them. Two on one side, Two on the other. So it was two on the left side of Tyronos who sat by Wombo sitting in the middle and Whitefur on his right and two others on Whitefur's right
One of them tried to mingle with Whitefur "Hey pal. How come your fur is so white?" Whitefur ignored him "Come on tell me how you get is so white? Is it natural or do you dye it?" Whitefur looked over at Tyronos who nodded "Why won't you tell me BLECH!" The man was interrupted by a blade in his throat. Whitefur threw him into the man who was sitting next to the now deceased man. Tyronos stabbed the man sitting next to him in between the eyes.
The dinosaur strippers screamed in fear of them one shouted "ASSASSINS! DEAD SEXY ASSASSINS!" they jumped off stage and ran in the back. The men moaned and got pissed at the vulpines for ruining their afternoon. They pulled out knives and put on brass knuckles. One of them actually had a trident which was and Tyronos killed the other two with ease then focused their attention towards the mob of angry dinosaur dudes
"Wombo help us out!" Tyronos yelled
"I don't know you guys." Wombo shouted back he went back his Shirley Temple
"Wow what an asshole." Whitefur said but knew that Wombo was merely trying to get a jump on the other guys which he took that moment and killed two of them with hidden blades. Whitefur and Tyronos joined him and started killing dudes left and right. One of them bumped into the jukebox which immediately started playing Slayer's song Raining Blood which fit the situation quite nicely it was immediately after the suspensful dun dun dun with Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman doing the Wah parts in the beginning and was in the the riff following right after.
"Who put this song on?" Tyronos yelled
"It's on random!" the bartender yelled back
"Sweet." Whitefur said in appreciation of the author's choice in music because this song is an amazing song. Anyone who doesn't like it can suck my balls! They slashed and hacked their way the mob of angry men. They were no match for the awesomeness of the three vulpines. After the final note of the song they were the only ones standing.
"Check their bodies for any clues as to where they were from. It might help lead us to Fox." Wombo ordered
"Can we check them for some money?" Tyronos asked
"Of course but remember give some to the bartender and tip the waitress."
"There isn't a waitress."
"Whatever dude. Better than the tranny in the back." He immediately felt a big hand slap him across the back of the head. He looked around and saw the Tranny from earlier holding out her/his hands. "God damn it.." He gave it twenty bucks
"Is that all? You ruined my night. I was going to at least get a hundred."
"FINE!" He gave it an extra eighty bucks, then it smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He jumped up and down screaming "NO! NO! UGH! GROSS DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?" They ignored him. Whitefur noticed something. It looked like a description of them. He went through it and saw that the men who sat next to them were supposed to kill them.
"Guys check it out.." They huddled around him and looked at what he had in his hand. "Apparently our friends here were ordered to kill us."
"Why would they want to do that? We're awesome!" Tyronos exclaimed
"I don't know but apparently they were sent from that big ship." Whitefur said
"Sweet let's get back to the stationwagon and kick some ass! Try to find out more info on that thing."
"Already doing that."
I'M DONE! I AM NEVER TYPING TWO CHAPTERS UP IN A DAY! FUCK THAT! I will probably do it again.. It was fun. That's how you kill time children. See ya soon guys.