Real Love
Chapter 6: Over My Shoulder
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, and probably nothing else either.
A/N: Here's chapter six. I hope that you like it. Its very much in Draco's POV which is a change from some other chapters. Thanks for all the reviews and to all of you keeping up with this story. I'd really really love to hear from more of you. I've been trying really hard to get through editing/ rewrites as quickly as possible to get chapters up, and reviews are the best encouragment to keep going at 3:00 in the morning. haha. One other notes, all my stories always all have songs for each chapter, and in this fic I've really focused on finding songs whose lyrics and or feel really go with the events. This chapter is an example of both, but really its the feel of the song that got me, so if your interested I really suggest you check it out. Mika's pretty incredible. In fact all of the artists in this story are really worth checking out if you've never heard them. (With the exception so far of Gwen Stefani, not because I don't love her, but because I'm sure you all already know her) Search the songs on youtube if you want to hear them. I think they're all there. Anyway enjoy, and let me know what you think! -Bella
Over my shoulder, running away,
Feels like I'm falling, losing my way,
Cold and dry,
Cold and dry.
Fog out my daylight, torture my night,
Feels like I'm falling, far out of sight,
Cold,
Drunk,
Tired,
Lost.
Over my shoulder, running away,
Feels like I'm falling, losing my way,
Cold, dry,
Cold and dry.
Fog out my daylight, torture my night,
Feels like I'm falling, far out of sight,
-Over My Shoulder, Mika
"Professor Flitwick, I'm afraid I need to take Ginny Weasley out of class." Ginny's head popped up when Professor McGonnagal said her name.
"Will I be back?" she asked.
"No Ginny, bring your books." Ginny collected her things and hurried out of the classroom.
Ginny followed closely behind Professor McGonagall wishing that her teacher's expression would give away some hint of what was going on. She thought perhaps there was an emergency in the infirmary however that idea was squashed when they passed it. When they reached her office McGonagall gave the password and entered the room.
In the room was Ginny's entire family. Mrs. Weasley's eyes were red and tears dampened her cheeks. Mr. Weasley stared solemly back at her while Bill's eyes remained out the window, Charlie stopped his pacing when Ginny entered the room. Percy, the one that was always collected looked awful and even the twins were silent, the cheerful life in their eyes missing.
Ginny began backing out of the room in disbelief but was stopped when Charlie rushed forward and squeezed her into his arms. Her chin quivered and she never stood a chance against the tears.
Charlie released Ginny and she looked up at her mother. "Both of them?"
Her mother nodded and Ginny felt ill.
"No. No. No," she shook her head, gasping for air that suddenly seemed scarce. Charlie tried to pull her close again but she pushed him away. She looked from brother to brother, waiting for one of them to tell her the truth. Waiting for someone to tell her that Ron was just fine. That Harry was okay.
None of them did.
Ginny choked on the sobs that erupted from her and unable to hold her own weight, she sank to the floor and barely noticed when her mother pulled her to her chest and slowly rocked her.
Two hours later the entire family was still in the office. McGonagall and Dumbledore had returned and Ginny remained quiet and the rest of the people in the room discussed funeral arrangements. The mood had switched from one of grief to business, as they tackled the issue of holding a funeral for the most famous wizard of their time. As they spoke about Harry like a character in a book all Ginny could think about was the last time she had seen him. She couldn't stand it.
"I'm going to find Hermione," she announced before leaving the room.
Dumbledore had been off giving her friend the news as she had been receiving it from her family. She passed Gryffindor tower and instantly knew she couldn't go in. She turned around unsure of her destination and quickly found that every door and every hallway was haunted with imaged of her brother or Harry.
Cold damp and unwelcoming, the hallway leading to the Slytherin quarters was the only place Ginny found that didn't have Harry and Ron dancing around. She slid down the cool stone wall, not caring if the damp floor muddied her clothes, and stared at the one across from her.
Ginny wasn't sure how many hours she had been studying the cracks in the gray wall before she heard voices.
"What's that Gryffindor doing here Draco?" Ginny felt her heart leap as she heard Draco's name. He was who she needed. He could help her. Quickly as she thought it, she dismissed the notion and felt foolish for it. She prayed he'd just pass her by, but wasn't surprised when he stopped.
"What are you doing here Weasley?" Draco looked down at her.
"Nothing." She whispered, hoping they would move on, as she was unable to.
"Alright Weasley. I'm intrigued. Goodnight Pansy," he said.
Pansy's protests went unanswered and she left in a huff.
"Well Weasley?" his tone was much lighter than when he had had Pansy by his side.
Ginny tried to refocus on the wall that had been her companion for the last hours, but once again her body way overtaken by trembles and a sob escaped her.
Draco watched as Ginny's eyes filled with tears and she let of a strangled cry. He reached out a hand to stroke the tears off her cheek, expecting her to push him away. She didn't and so Draco took the opportunity to scoop the redhead into his arms and take her off to his quarters. He placed the crying girl into his bed and climbed in beside her allowing her to continue to cry into him.
Even in sleep her tears didn't cease. He was torn between waking her and letting her continue her sleep, unable to find peace.
When Ginny came to her eyes flew open as she realized someone's arms were wrapped around her. Draco. It was when she remembered she was with that she remembered why she was with him. The nausea returned and she could feel the edging tears yet again. She tried to fight them with deep, concentrated breaths. Her movement must have awakened him because his strong hand entwined with hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I everything ok?" he questioned.
Ginny pulled away and sat up to look at him.
"They're dead." She had honestly expected him to smile in delight, but he didn't.
"You can't be certain." Alarm was in his usually cool voice.
"Snape came back to school today. He had their bodies with them. My family is all here. McGonagall took me from class and they were all there in her office and I… They said that…" She was beginning to loose it again.
"They said that Harry found Ron, and told…He told Voldemort that if he let Ron go he'd turn himself in. And he did. He let Ron go…and he killed Harry!" The words were unbearable to say. Just the thought of sweet sweet Harry dying at the hands of such a heinous man made felt the a knife digging into her heart.
"Only they were too connected and the spell killed him too." Ginny felt some penance that Voldemort had died at his own evil hand. "But Ron had refused to leave Harry and when it all happened the Death Eaters there panicked and one of them killed him."
By the time she was done telling it, the story seemed so unreal that she could no longer even cry over it. He seemed to be having difficulty taking it all in too.
Draco felt guilty that he had nothing to say to Ginny as she told the story. It was if the whole world had shifted a little, knowing that Potter and Weasley were dead. That Voldemort was dead. That the battle that had been his entire upbringing was over. And while Voldemort was gone, Ginny was there, broken in his arms. It was as though no one had won.
While Draco couldn't pretend to have ever been fond of Harry and Ron, even he had never thought for a moment that they would not return. He had been certain that he would live the rest of his life the sworn enemy of the world's greatest hero.
He would have known how to handle that; Ginny's grief he did not.
He tried to think of something, anything to say to her, but before he could there was a small knock from the other side of the door to the bathroom he shared with Granger. He rarely used it.
"Malfoy are you in there?" her voice called.
He felt Ginny's small hand grab his arm and she shook her head ferociously, silently begging him not to give her up.
He nodded and quickly drew the curtains to his four-poster bed. He hurried over to the door and forced himself to greet Granger with an amicable. "Hi."
"Hi," she sputtered, obviously caught off guard by the greeting. "I just wanted to tell you that we have to call a prefects meeting. There's going to be and emergency assembly so we have to get everyone together. You see…" Her eyes were on the ground. "You see yesterday…" She couldn't get it out.
"I know. I'll take care of everything. You go rest."
"Ginny's been to see you hasn't she?" She accused.
"I ran into her in the hall." It wasn't a lie. "Now go lie down, and I'll call the meeting. Try and trust me just this once."
He knew she wanted to fight him, but at the moment Granger didn't seem to have any fight left in her. She turned and left, and Draco returned to find Ginny fast asleep. Thankful that she was finally resting peacefully, he got to work.
Once everyone was in the room Draco stood to begin the meeting.
"Is everyone here?" Draco asked impatiently. His tolerance was thin and almost every person in the room was annoying, some more than others.
"Where's Hermione?" a Ravenclaw student called out before he could even begin.
"Indisposed," he spat. "There's going to be an emergency assembly in half and hour. I need you all to have your houses in the Great Hall by 11:30. Is everyone up on the procedures?"
"What's going on Malfoy?" another student questioned defiantly.
"You'll find out at the assembly. I'm not at liberty to tell any of you what it's about"
"When's Hermione getting here? She'll tell us."
"Yeah Malfoy you have to give us more than that. What are we supposed to tell our houses?"
"This is stupid. Its probably just a trick."
He lost it.
"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are dead," he announced. The room fell silent before leaping into a chaos of questions and cries. "Everything will be answered in the Great Hall. So everyone please get back to your houses, and don't tell anyone anything. There will be consequences for anyone who does." He knew that would be hard. Tears were falling freely and the students had once again fallen silent. Draco saw Blaise staring at him in disbelief.
The room cleared before the two boys spoke.
"Is he dead?"
Draco nodded. "Died when he killed Potter."
"Good," Blaise swallowed. He knew as well that the death of Voldemort meant the end of the war was only days away, but he also knew that many, including their fathers, would soon be war criminals. "How is she?"
"How should I know," Draco replied. He was unwilling to share his time with Ginny with him. "We should get back."
By the time they arrived back at their house, the younger prefects had everyone assembled in the common room ready to leave. All of the houses arrived to the Great Hall about the same time. Everyone was eager to begin the assembly as soon as they could.
Draco was actually impressed by the strength of the prefects whose blank faces masked the sadness he had seen earlier. Even the Gryffindors remained stone-faced and dry eyed.
That all changed as their headmaster stood at the front of the room, with a line of sad professors behind him.
"Today is a day we will always remember. Each of you will always remember being in this room. Each of you will always remember what year you were in, what class you were missing, who you were sitting next to, and the weather on the day you learned Lord Voldemort had been defeated."
Sounds of joy whooped through the room. Many of his housemates exchanged nervous looks.
"However," Dumbledore's strong voice cut through the crowd, silencing it. "Today is not a day of joy, or celebration. In the final battle with Voldemort two dear friends were lost to us, and it is my great displeasure to tell you all, that Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter are no longer here."
Even Draco's chest sunk to see his headmaster tear up as he spoke the words.
"Services will be held the day after tomorrow, and no classes will be held until then. I ask that all of you talk to each other, and if you need to, seek counseling with any of us."
Dumbledore left the podium without formally ending the assembly, but Draco knew it was over.
Lingering as students flowed out, he kept his eyes on the Gryffindors, looking for her.
He saw as Finnegan place a hand on Longbottom's back. "Have you seen Ginny?"
Longbottom shook his head. "Her family was at the assembly. She's not with them."
Sadness and worry were in both boys' eyes.
He couldn't help but think it would be better for her to be surrounded by other's that were feeling her loss.
"You should have come to the assembly." Draco was blunt with Ginny when he returned to his room and found her still in bed.
"Oh actually I already heard the news thanks," she spat back.
"Your friends are worried about you. They don't know where you are."
"Didn't want to share that I was with you all night?"
"Would you like me to bring them here to you Weasley? Because I will. But I have a feeling you'd be a lot more ashamed to be here that I am to have you here."
"You're right I probably am." Fury took over her eyes as she stared at him. "Where did that port key go Malfoy? Where did we send Harry?"
"I told you then Ginny that I didn't know. I still don't know."
"I don't believe you," she shook her head, her eyes shifted quickly as if he could see thoughts brewing in her head.
"And why's that?" he challenged her.
"You never did anything but insult me or ignore me for five years. You spend the first part of this semester being friendly to me, and the second part seducing me. Four days ago I helped you "save" your sworn enemy and now he's dead. You wanted him dead and you got me to help you do it."
Draco body seared with anger at her accusations.
"Careful not to play too innocent Weasley. You started this whole affair. After all you were the one who got drunk at a party and decided to fuck a death eater."
He watched her face pale in revulsion before calmly exiting his room.
Draco paced outside of the classroom. Would she come? He'd sent her a note. "Meet me outside the potions room if you want the truth. –Malfoy" it had read. He had hoped it was just impersonal enough to draw her there, and it was. A sickly looking redhead rounded the corner. Her skin was pale, and dark circles rimmed her eyes. Her sweats hung lose everywhere, leading Draco to believe she hadn't eaten in the past couple of days.
"Well?" she asked him expectantly, coming to a stop only a foot away from him.
"You look like hell." Inwardly he cringed at his own words. He wanted to look her in the eye and promise her that everything was okay, and that she would be alright. He wanted apologize for the stupid, untrue things he had said to her in his room that day. He wanted to take her back to his room and make her eat and fall asleep is his arms.
"What am I doing here Malfoy?" Her foot stamped impatiently.
"You want to know what happened that night, so we're going to find out." He glanced at the door across from the potions room: Snape's quarters.
"Find out what? How we set Harry up? I already know enough." She turned to leave.
"You don't know anything Weasley. You're being absurd."
"Absurd was ever trusting a Malfoy," Ginny turned and glared at him. It hit hard.
"Then why are you here Weasley? Why'd you come?"
" To tell you that I'm going to tell everyone what we did. I don't care if we both rot in jail for it, I'm going to tell them how I helped you and Snape that night."
"You most certainly will not Miss Weasley." A deep voice came from behind them. "You two in here now," Snape hissed and directed them into his room.
Draco had been in his Professor's rooms several times before. They were beautiful with heavy antique furniture and deep green fabrics adorning them. Though much of the dungeons had a moist, mildew odor to them, Snape's rooms always had a warm cedar aroma floating in the air.
"Clearly I was wrong to think the two of you were intelligent enough not to discuss this in a Slytherin hall of all places."
"Sir. Weasley needs to know what happened that night, after our part was over."
"And why is this?" The teacher did not seem eager to share any type of information, especially after hearing he and Ginny blabbing in the hallway.
"She thinks we planned it all to kill Potter."
"Potter was destined to die Miss Weasley, we simply moved things along."
Draco's eyes shot from Ginny to his professor.
"Moved things along…" Ginny repeated slowly. She looked even more ill than she had when she rounded the corner.
"As I'm sure you know Miss Weasley, a prophecy revealing the death of Potter and the death of Voldemort were one was discovered several months ago."
Draco frowned. He'd heard nothing of the prophecy that Snape spoke of and Ginny seemed to be quite familiar with.
"It was a hoax," Ginny said, her voice thick with defensiveness.
"I assure you Miss Weasley, it was not a hoax, nor was it simply an option among many. To end the terror of Lord Voldemort Harry Potter had to die."
Ginny opened her mouth to speak when Snape cut her off.
"I also assure that that night Potter was in grave danger and you did indeed save him. My companions and I had been given explicit instructions to kill the boy ourselves if we had to. It was his third close call in the past two weeks, and he wouldn't have escaped it himself. That night the port key sent him to a small Inn, where I visited him late that night."
"You told him the prophecy…" Ginny's stomach churned. It had been collectively decided by the Order that Harry was not to know about the prophecy that spelled out clear as day that to kill Voldemort he had to die himself. Harry had always been rash and hasty when it came to his heroics, and everyone knew Harry would be dead before Hermione could have opened a book to search for another way.
"He made the decision himself Miss Weasley, I simply helped him arrange the chance to save your brother." Snape's tone was stern and diplomatic
"How could you use him like that?" Ginny's heart broke thinking of Harry preparing to die without a single person who loved him there.
"He didn't use him Weasley. He helped him…"
"Helped him die." That's a nice way of putting it. She could barely stand being in the room with the two men. Draco sat beside the professor, his expressionless face mirroring the other man's. Ginny felt like she barely recognized him.
"Weasley if he was meant to die…"
"You don't even care," Ginny cursed inwardly as she felt tears returning. "You don't even care that he and my brother are dead. You're war is almost over and that's all that ever mattered. You'll be a hero and you never had to get your pretty little death eater hands dirty," Ginny couldn't decide which man disgusted her more. "Poor Harry… He never stood a chance."
"One day, Miss Weasley, you will understand, and then you be proud of your role in all of this."
Her role in this.
Ginny felt empty.
The sight was one not to be forgotten. Under bright blue skies, a sea of black, silent, as two white coffins were carried down the long isle that ran the entire length of the Quidditch field. The ground was filled with rows of people on either side, as were the stands, each person in nearly identical mourning robes, men's and women's varying slightly. Services could be seen over a broadcast in the great hall as well. Expectations for attendance had been far exceeded, so make shift accommodations had been made within the castle.
When it came time for volunteers from the guests to say a few words there were many that had something to say, but few that had truly been close to Potter and Weasley. People who had crossed paths, those whose lives had been affected by the boys and a few who had simply admired from a far. This is why when Draco saw red hair approaching the podium he was surprised.
All around him students, teachers, and visitors alike wept for the young fallen heroes. Beside him Blaise sat very focused on the event at the front of the arena. The ceremony was a very traditional one. Dumbledore had been chosen by the Weasleys to conduct the services, and he read the traditional passages of death aloud, adding none of his own, often-nonsensical antidotes.
"Hello," her voice was weak, but Draco could hear the strength she was mustering to speak at all. He looked much better than she had the night before when she had fled Snape's office so fast he couldn't catch her.
"My name is Ginny Weasley. Ron was my brother, and Harry was…well Harry was a lot of things. They both were a lot of things in life, though I bet if I went around and asked you each to give me a word for them most of you would say hero, soldier, warrior, angel. Well while most of you may be here to remember these two fallen heroes, and thank them, which my family and I are so appreciative of, I am also here to remember Ron and Harry, my brother and his best friend. Two young boys who are lost now. They were students, though certainly not the best students, distractions or not. Gryffindors through and through. Ron would have fought a Slytherin any chance he got, even knowing he would surely loose. He was my older brother but I always felt like the eldest of us both. When he left for Hogwarts his first year I was so jealous…"
Draco watched as Ginny seemed to lose herself in the memory for a moment. She recovered quickly though.
"And then when I found out he'd made friends with Harry Potter… Little did I know how much a part of my life Harry would become over the next six years. I don't know what would have come from Harry and me, because nothing ever really started. But I do know that I would have had a new sister in a few years, when Ron married Hermione Granger. She always was, and always will be the love of his life. And the loss of their the future together is one of the most tragic parts of all of this. I also know that we will move forward after this. Though maybe not the same, students here will continue on and graduate. The Order will finish fighting this war, and the wizarding world will begin to rebuild. But in order to move forward we will have to look back, and this is the favor I ask of you and the reason I stand before you now. When you look back and think of Harry and Ron, think of them not as heroes but as boys, as people. They weren't always afforded the luxury a normal life, so let us let them have it in death."
Ginny stepped down from the podium and seemed unaffected by the thunderous applause following her speech. Most of it came from students, but many in the crowd were standing in respect for her. Draco was pretty sure clapping wasn't customary at a funeral, but Ginny had struck a chord with many, and she deserved to know that her message had been received.
The service felt slightly uplifted from that point on, as if people had decided to begin celebrating the lives of Weasley and Potter at that very moment.