Chapter 14: Always on Your Side
Disclaimer:not mine
A/N: Hey ya'll! Sorry this was a long time coming. I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. Then lost 2 versions to computer problems and a third to the complete death of my laptop. So I've been writing this on borrowed time on another computer which isn't always the easiest to get. Sorry for any spelling errors on cannon things, I have most HP vocab saved on my computer, but not on this one. Hopefully the next chapter will be out before next Friday. That's my goal. Thanks for the support and reviews, they really kept me going through all of these problems with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. I think I have like five or six chapters left...but unless i can save it Ive lost my outline. Now I know what happens, dont worry, but its just no longer broken down into chapters. Soooo happy reading. Review! -bella
My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side
Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years
But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be
-Always on Your Side, Sheyl Crow and Sting
Ginny slowly turned in place, taking in her surroundings.
"You've got to be kidding me," she spoke aloud to the empty room.
"I know! Its great isn't it?" Adam Learner, came rushing through there bathroom into her room. "I never imagined it was like this. I'm sure you knew though, being so close with Hermione and all."
She knew alright. She knew the huge oak door, and the long velvet drapes. She was familiar with the coldness of the stone floor below her feet, and the grandness of the huge wood desk that was nestled against the far wall. She could close her eyes and feel the worn out spot on the the right side of the bed, that had always forced her to squeeze onto the left side with him.
Just entering the room had brought a storm of emotions she thought she had long gotten over rushing back, and every second she stood there they intensified.
The head boys and girls room hadn't switched in years. How would she have guessed when she accepted the position that she was signing a year long lease to a torture chamber.
"You want to walk down to dinner together?" Adam asked her.
"I'll be down soon."
He left and Ginny sat down on the edge of the bed. She silently cursed herself for getting so angry with Blaise during the last conversation she had with him.
"I care about you so much, but I'd be a fool to let you stay with me when I know I'm not the one for you."
She only stared at him blankly, before he threw out the blow.
"You're not over him Ginny. And maybe you shouldn't be."
That had hurt her more than she'd ever expected Blaise to be able to. How could be accuse her of not being over a man who had treated her like shit, before cheating on her, and joining a group of ruthless murderers. That Blaise could think that of her had made her feel like dirt.
There, sitting on that bed, she was dirt.
Beginning the summer Ginny had been determined to start anew. To be happy, and carefree. Two things she hadn't fully been in over a year. Blaise's party had seemed like the perfect place to start.
Ginny peered her way threw the sea of people, silently wondering if Blaise actually knew everyone in his home. Beside her Hermione clung closely and behind her the twins were thwarting Ginny's best attempts to lose them in the crowd. For reasons unbeknownst to her, Hermione had welcomed the twins to join them, and not surprisingly they had eagerly accepted the invitation.
"Look there's Lav! I see her hair!" Hermione pointed towards the corner of the spawrling deck as the stepped out the back door.
Suddely Olivia's blonde head popped up above the crowd and she wildly waved her arms at them.
"Ginny's over here!"
Ginny smiled and waved to acknowledge the sighting and Olivia climbed down from her chair.
"Hi guys!" Ginny warmly greeted her friends as she finally reached them.
Dean, Lavender, Seamus, Olivia and to Ginny's surprise Oliver sat around a beautiful mosaic table.
"Wood!" The twins called from behind her.
"Weasleys!" he called back and rose to greet them. He hugged them all and pulled out two chairs for her and Hermione which they gratefully accepted.
Oliver twitched a bit and shot a glare at his sister before clearing his throat.
"Uh, Ginny, how is you summer going?"
"Well its only a week in, but so far so good." She offered back.
"Have any plans?"
She shook her head and felt only a little pathetic. "You?"
"Just quidditch," he chuckled.
"For who?" Fred glared at his former captain.
"England actually," Oliver suddenly brightened up.
"What?" a round of surprised went around the room.
"Olli you didn't tell me!"
"It was just made official, I was going to wait…but what the hell?" He was simply beaming.
"This calls for a toast!" George declared.
"Where's the keg?"
"The bar is in the parlor," Blaise voice suddenly joined the conversation, answering Fred. His tone was polite but Ginny could see a trace of his Slytherin arrogance on his face. "Here," he held out the glass of deep red wine he held in his hand. "Can't have you getting started on that stuff you carry with you. Shit makes you crazy."
"Thanks Blaise," she replied dryly, though she was actually quite pleased with the large glass she now held in her hand.
"I'll show you guys where it is," Blaise nodded for Fred and George to follow him. "Hermione, would you like something?"
"Please!" her friend replied pleasantly, seeming a bit surprised at being treated with such chivalry. Neither Ron nor Harry had ever treated the poor girl like much of a lady, though Ginny suspected that had as much to do with Hermione not letting them as it did with the denseness of the two boys.
The twins quickly returned sans Blaise and handed Hermione an orange drink with a pink umbrella and a lime. The sweet smell was enough to turn Ginny away, but Hermione smiled in delight when Fred handed it to her.
They toasted and chatted and all too soon Ginny found her glass was empty. She notice Oliver twitch and scowl again before he reached out for her empty glass.
"I need another, can I get you one?"
Ginny frowned a moment, trying to get a grasp on the situation. "Let's go together." She stood.
"Want me to show you the way?" George offered.
"No," Ginny snapped. "We'll find it."
They entered the house and the cool air was refreshing. "So…" Ginny trailed off, and eyed Oliver.
"So I mentioned to my sister last time I saw you how cute you've become, and now I think she reckons we ought to get married."
Ginny laughed aloud and his blunt confession.
"And while I certainly don't hear any wedding bells, I did promise her I'd ask you out or at the very least flirt with you a little. She just doesn't seem to understand that your older brothers are here now. And that there are two of them. And that they're beaters. Two more please," Oliver turned his attention to the bartender for just a second and in that moment Ginny mustered all her courage.
"So why don't you ask me out now while they're not around?"
Oliver looked surprised for a moment before he laughed. "Well I think you just did it for me Weasley."
"Damn," she cursed in jest. "Well times are changing. Maybe next weekend?"
"You can show me that move you promised to teach me."
"If you think you can handle it. Thank you," she accepted the wine from the bartender.
"I'm not so sure if I can. But I'm willing to try."
The night had gone splendidly after that, though Ginny hadn't seen Blaise except that once the whole night. Olivia had an even better time and at only eleven Seamus and Oliver was ready to take her home.
"Well I guess I'll see you next weekend then," Oliver blushed a little.
"Definitely. Take good care of you sister tonight."
"Goodnight Ginny."
"Goodnight Oliver." For just a moment she thought he might kiss her, but instead he turned to his sister and together they disapparated.
Ginny turned and saw George engaged in conversation with Dean and Lavender, while Hermione and Fred laughed in their chairs. And there, staring right at her from the doorway was Blaise, slightly less put together looking than before.
"There you are!" Ginny smiled at him. He didn't reply but instead walked right to her. "Blaise?" she asked hesitantly as he got closer and closer. He still didn't reply and just when he couldn't get any closer he scooped her face into her hands and kissed her.
"Blaise what?" Ginny struggled to pull away, too confused to continue the kiss.
"Ginny I love you."
Ginny nearly wretched at the alcohol floating off his breath.
"Blaise you're drunk."
"No I'm not Ginny, I just love you."
Ginny saw George quickly approaching out the corner of her eye and held up a hand ordering him to stop.
"Blaise if you don't stop that I'm going to sober you right up!" she threatened, extending out her wand.
"I love you!" He opened his arms wide, welcoming her threat. "I love you!"
Ginny growled the curse and it shot though her wand, hitting him square in the chest.
He groaned on the ground and Ginny grabbed the bottle of water she had most recently been sipping off the table. She kneeled neck to him and helped trickled a bit into his mouth. He swallowed the liquid and smiled gratefully. "See. I knew I loved you," he teased.
Ginny sighed. Only Blaise could turn in all into a joke in less than thirty seconds.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him up. "Lets go talk."
"Let's not."
"Let's." she drug him towards the house.
Once in side he reluctantly led her to a room she pegged as his fathers office.
"Surprisingly nice for such a dark fellow huh?" he closed the door behind him.
It truly was a lovely room. The towering windows were covered with light flowing drapes, and the whole space was carpeted in a plush cream that set the stage for the cherry furniture.
"My mother," he laughed. "My father let her do anything she wanted, as long as it made her happy. Including having thee wonderful children," he plopped down on the small loveseat that sat beside the marble fireplace. Ginny gently sat down beside him.
"I never really got that though. Varun and Ora, they understood they were meant to be my mother's children, but I tried so hard to impress my father."
Being in the room seemed to send Blaise diving face first into a life time of memories as his eyes left hers and stared out in to the room.
"He liked that though. A son and heir who respected and honored him. As I got older I began to realize that I didn't want to be like him at all, only I thought it was too late to get out. I went through the motions and when the day came, I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill her…"
Ginny sat upright, alarmed. "Kill who?"
Blaise face faltered a moment as he turned to her and leaned in. "As a part of your initiation your final task is to kill a girl they've hogtied to a chair for you as a welcoming gift." Blaise sneered as he spoke. "Usually its some poor soul they lure from a brothel or a street corner, and usually they have their way with her before they kill her."
Ginny felt emptiness fill the pit of her stomach. "My birthday was two days before the start of the school year, so I left. I left the parlor and his in Malfoy's bedroom until he came and found me. I stayed there until we left for school."
At the mention of his name Ginny felt the feeling in her stomach grow. "Blaise did he…?"
Blaise only nodded, and a slight trace of uncertainty on his face.
"Fantastic! I was dating a bloody murderer."
Blaise shrugged. "It wasn't so bloody really." He grinned.
Ginny let out a surprised laugh and swatted him.
"Ginny," he spoke more seriously. "I must sound completely mad. I'm sorry I threw all this on you. But watching you with that ridiculous boy all night, I just needed you to know that I know I'm like him in a lot ways, but I'm not him."
By the tone of his 'him' Ginny knew that Blaise was not referring to Oliver.
"And I'd never treat you like he did, and I know you might not be ready to start something new, but when you are, I want to be the one."
He moved to stand but Ginny quickly grabbed his hand.
"Blaise I don't know if I'm ready or not." He nodded, not quite hiding the rejection, but Ginny continued. "But I'm willing to see if I am, if your willing to be patient with me."
"Patient? I've been buddying around with you for months now Weasley. I definitely know how to be patient."
Ginny laughed. "Well then…" she trailed of with a coy smile and gently placed a hand on Blaise's cheek before giving him a tender kiss. When she pulled away, she noticed a slight blush on his cheeks.
" I usually attract the girls who just want to shove their tongues down my throat. That was pretty nice Weasley. I'll have to thank that Keeper friend of yours for inspiring me to make my move."
"You mean for sending you into a jealous fit? And Oliver is not ridiculous."
"Oh no? 'I'm not sure if I can handle you Ginny but I'll try cause your so damn cute,'" Bliase mimicked.
"Oh so you think you can handle me?"
"Sorry Weasley, you're not as big and bad as you like to think."
"Oh no?"
"Nope."
Ginny took the opportunity to tackle Blaise onto the sofa, and to her pleasure, he didn't really fight back.
They'd spent the summer dating. She'd let Oliver down gently, and considering all the attention he was receiving after being announced as the new English keeper, he didn't seem to mind so much. Blaise was everything he'd promised he'd be in a relationship. If he hadn't been before, he had become her best friend, and was a fantastic kisser and true romantic.
The only thing that alluded her was her inability to take that final step with him. He never pushed, or even really asked. It was when he asked her to clear the second to last weekend before she left for school that Ginny decided it was time. Whether she felt ready or not, surely she would by the end of that night. She planned the night so perfectly in her head, that she never could have imagined what was to happen.
"Surprise!" the group cheered as Ginny entered Blaise's house.
Ginny gasped, shocked to see all of her friends and family and the large banner that said "Goodbye Ginny!" waving on the opposite wall.
"Where is he?" she laughed and threw a fist in the air. Her mother, who had taken quite a liking to Blaise, directed her to the kitchen.
Ginny pushed through the white flapping doors and was surprised to see Blaise on the floor above a petite brunette.
"Give it to me!" he growled.
"No! I want to see it!"
"Not until she sees it."
"Uh hello?" Ginny asked timidly.
Both Blaise and the girl immediately looked up.
"Damnit! We missed the surprise!" Blaise cursed and let the girl up. She immediately rushed over to Ginny and stuck out your hand.
"Ora Zabini. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Oh! It's nice to meet you too." Ginny shook her hand.
"I'll leave you two alone then."
"I can't believe she made me miss the surprise," Blaise glared after his sister. "Did it get you?"
"It got me. I can't believe you did this."
"Anything for you." he grinned.
"So maybe you can squeeze in a little alone time later?" she requested.
"We'll see." He smiled and directed her towards the door. "But for now you have guests my love."
The party had so many people in attendance that Ginny barely saw Blaise all night and when she finally did catch up with him they had been interrupted by an unexpected guest. Ginny had been laughing with Blaise that she hadn't remembered it had been him that she kissed two years earlier at the bash when a strong looking curly haired man, about Charlie or Bill's age had walked in with a boy who looked like Blaise on one side and on the other a very familiar red head. Ginny's heart was pounding in her chest in a flash as the woman strolled into the room. Her tea length dress was boat necked and as modest as her pearls, but all Ginny could see was her in that lacy black underwear, answering his door.
Before she could ask Blaise why she was there he was on his feet walking over to them. Ginny wanted to punch the girl as she wrapped Blaise into a hug, which he promptly peeled away from. There faces remained terse for a few moments until Blaise led her out of the room and the two men headed towards her.
"Ginny Weasley!" The older version of Blaise exclaimed. " I thought my brother made you up."
"No. Malfoy made her up first, remember mate?"
Ginny cringed and noticed that Varun did too. It was becoming clear that while Blaise may have opened up to his brother, not very much information had been disclosed to Tommy Nott.
"Varun and Tommy. Its nice to finally see you're not made up either." Ginny glazed gracefully over the subject. She saw Varun visibly relax beside her. "So how's business at the bar?" Small talk had never been her forte.
"Improved. Actually seeing some business these days. We hadn't seen much since Potter knocked the Dark Lord. The boy almost cost me my business doing that."
Tommy chuckled but before she could bite her tongue Ginny shot back,"Well it cost him his life."
"Sorry. I forgot Blaise was dating a Gryffindor. Suppose you were close with him then?"
Ginny, unused to not being instantly linked to Harry's name, simple nodded. "Quite."
She noticed that Varun was stiff beside her again, and knew he was more familiar with her life story.
Fortunately Blaise returned at that moment and turned to Tommy. "I think Eloise is sick. She wants to go home."
Tommy's face darkened a bit. "So she's back to those games. What's her problem today?"
"I don't know mate. I was asking her how things had been and all of a sudden she was sick."
Tommy groaned and stood. "Well Ginny, have a fun year at school."
Varun followed to walk the couple out, leaving Ginny and Blaise alone again.
He left and Ginny turned to Blaise. "What happened?"
"I told her if she didn't leave I would tell Tommy."
"You never told him anything?" Ginny was aghast that Blaise hadn't told his friend about the infidelity.
"I sort of thought she was leaving him," Blaise threw up his hands.
"She's not?" Ginny asked hesitantly, wondering what it meant if she wasn't.
"No. But I'll tell him soon now that I know that."
"Why?"
"Well I think he deserves…"
"I mean why isn't she leaving him?"
Blaise looked away from her before mumbling that he wasn't sure.
The rest of the night a strange tension lingered between them, and when the guests were clearing out and she found herself in his bedroom, it was no longer the night she had planned out so perfectly.
From his pocket Blaise withdrew a small package, but to her disappointment he tucked it safely away in his dresser drawer.
He was fidgety as he sat down beside her on the edge of the bed.
"Blaise what's wrong?" she asked, hoping he would be honest with her.
"Just tonight. It didn't really go like I planned."
"I know. But it could still make a turn for the better. Lets not let him ruin this like he ruins everything else."
Ginny leaned in a kissed her boyfriend, who graciously kissed her back, but as she pulled him closer and began to lean back on the bed she could feel him trembling a bit. She pulled away and laughed. "Don't be stupid Blaise. We both know you know how to do this."
She expected him to relax and joke back. Instead he pulled away and stood up.
"I don't know. That's the problem. Ginny I don't know how to do this so I'm just going to say it. I don't think we can see each other anymore."
Words failed her.
"Ginny. Please. Please don't hate me. I care about you so much. You can't understand what you mean to me, and a slightly intoxicated me would probably be willing to admit that I'm in love with you, but you're not in love with me. I care about you so much, but I'd be a fool to let you stay with me when I know I'm not the one for you."
She remained silent.
"You're not over him Ginny, and maybe you shouldn't be."
"I'm what?!" she finally blew.
She saw Blaise step towards her but backed away, feeling like a stranger was coming towards her.
"I'm not over him? This is about her isn't it? What did she do? Convince you that you're just the consolation prize for the real thing? Like Tommy is for her? Well you know what Blaise? Maybe that's exactly what you are."
She didn't let him have a chance to respond. She'd apparated out immediately, and ignored all his owls since. The guilt over her words had been building and finally peaked there in that room.
Quickly she went to desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote as fast a her hand could move.
Blaise-
I'm so sorry. You were right, and I'm a fool. Please say you'll forgive me.
All my love,
Ginny
It wasn't much and didn't nearly do her feelings or sincerity justice, but it would have to do. She had to get down to the great hall for the sorting.
When she returned that night Hedwig was sitting loyally outside her window. Ginny pushed the heavy glass out and the owl swooped in. From he leg Ginny unattached a letter. She opened it with haste and read its short message
Ginny-
Silly girl. I already forgave you! Don't you read your mail? I may not have known you long, but I know you well enough to understand that you like to say mean things you may not mean when you're angry.
But I do hope this means you forgive me? I want to be honest and tell you this does have to do with my conversation with Eloise, but not it anyway you think. I want to tell you everything, but I need time.
And if it helps, I miss you, but I think I'll get over you.
Have fun at school without any friends!
Love,
Blaise
Ginny was relieved that she could almost see Blaise's cheeky grin throughout his letter.
She tucked the letter into her desk and got ready for bed. She pulled back the covers and hesitated before climbing in. The silky material was like and heaven and hell in one. Of course he had left his sheets behind to replace the school issued ones. He probably had hundreds at home.
She pulled the soft white sheet and the heavy down comforter up around her and laid flat on her back. The humongous bed was cold and lonely. Why did one person need so much space anyway?
Ginny tried to convince herself she was simply used to the small single beds she'd grown up with at home and school, but she knew why the bed really felt so big.
Blaise had been right about her not being over Draco. But was he right about it being ok? Maybe he shared that same lingering feeling that this wasn't how it was really meant to be. Something was amiss. Somehow everything would turn out in the end, even though it seemed so utterly impossible.
Ginny cringed at the emotions flowing through her. Was this how her whole school year would be? Trying to push all thoughts away and simply fall asleep she rolled on her side and tucked her arm under the pillow. Underneath, a cool meatal object hit her finger.
She pulled it out and gasped.
"De m'amour soiez sure"
Her ring. She'd lost it at some point towards the end of everything, and then had never cared to look for it.
He'd had it. He'd kept it in his bed.
Of my love be sure.
She knew it was foolish as she did it, but slowly Ginny slid the ring on to her finger, the silver chain dangling, broken from it.
Not feeling quite as alone any longer, she finally fell asleep.