Alternate Revelation Chapter 3: Beyond the Window Pane

Look, it's longer!

This story is just like a random stream of consciousness... excuse the random jumps in sentences.
Behold the first appearences of tiny fluff!

To my first reviewer Pholo: Thank you for the review! It made my day when I read my e-mail today! xD

I woke up completely sore. The bandages felt tight around me, like they were holding my wounds together, which I was grateful for. Luckily there was no blood seeping through, though, which was a relief. Before I left to find the others, I made sure I had composed myself. Last night I let my barriers down but today I am determined to hide what I'm feeling and smile, just like I always do.

Too bad I'm 96% sure Raven can still see through it. There's that feeling again; that weird chill that makes me feel like I'm an open book. So unnerving.

His hair looks so soft... damn; he caught me staring at him. I should look away; try to hide what I did, but if I do look away that won't be like me at all. He's looking right into my eyes, like he's searching them. I don't want to be read nor do I want to look away at the same time. He's gazing at me again in that strange way; his face is sad, but his eyes hold some different emotion.

Just what is he thinking about..? No! Why did he look away?

I don't have much time to ponder why as I feel a small boot step on the back of my head. Ow? Obviously it's Alice who has come to harass me at the worst of times. She's ranting her head off about being hungry or something. Raven seems angry when Alice refers to me as her "man-servant." He's storming out of the room now... and I think I hear him mumble, "I'm going outside," even though the sky is growing cloudy, foreshadowing rain. I briefly see him take his cigarettes out of his coat pocket before he disappears out the doorway. I feel a strange curiosity to follow him...

ooo

After I'm forced to find Alice food (I don't even know why she eats so much; if you ask me, her stomach is more of an Abyss than anything) I set off in search of Raven. I know I shouldn't pester him, but I can't control my curiosity sometimes. Or all the time, really.

I walk through the Rainsworth mansion (the long corridors reminding me of my Uncle's house) and find myself in front of a door to a small library. I cautiously poke my head in to see. All of the walls are covered with book shelves except the one parallel to the door's side of the wall. The right side the room stretches out, holding rows of shelves that are free-standing. The one side of the room is instead lined with beautiful, crystal window panes. Large, royal-looking curtains frame the windows, billowing in some slight breeze. I search for the cause of the wind and see through the window that there is a tiny balcony outside.

I follow it, scanning, and see that the window all the way to the left at the corner is similar to that of a giant door which leads out to it. It's open slightly, and a cool breeze that smells like rain is flowing from it. I start walking towards the door-window, but on my way I notice Raven out on the balcony. I hide behind the giant curtain to avoid being seen by him, but I can't help but peek around the soft fabric. Raven is smoking and his held is tilted back, looking up at the sky. The clouds are drizzling now. Does he like the rain? Looking at him now, he has such a serene grace about him, and I desperately want to reach my hand out to him. He looks so sad... forlorn, even. But... why do I care? He's a grown man, and I know nothing about him except for his name and face... especially his face. Why does he look so much like Gilbert?

I wish I knew. I wish I knew where Gilbert is.

What could Raven be thinking about that makes him so sad? His hand are shaking... I wonder if having his cigarette and hand at his lips calms him? I see him breathe in the drug, and his posture seems to relax, his eyes roll slightly. He could be cold, too. His eyes usually seem so hard. What could he have possibly lived through?

I peer just my head around the door and then knock gently, a small smile of irony pulling at my lips. Raven breaks out of his stupor, staring at me first with shocked eyes... like he'd seen a ghost. Did I startle him in the same way so much? He hides it quickly while I'm lost momentarily in my thoughts; he looks calm now.

I greet him quietly, "Hi Raven."

"Hello Oz-kun." He doesn't say anything more, but I refuse to allow silence.

"Why are you out here in the rain? Aren't you cold?" My voice sounds innocent, inquisitive; like a child should, but I get the feeling that it doesn't bother him nearly as much as it would another stranger. He smiles to himself,

"It doesn't bother me too much."

"How come?"

His smile is eerily peaceful as he says softly, "I've been in colder places."

At that moment, that smile and those eyes so much like his, thrust my mind into a malady of memories of Gilbert. I fight back the sob stuck in my throat, the gaping hole that is trying to consume my heart.

"You know, Raven..." I don't want to keep this in anymore, "you... remind me a lot of my friend."

He says nothing.

"I'm looking for him right now," I need to tell someone, and he's the only one who has listened to me since I woke up from that dream.

"... and I won't stop until I find him." Raven put his cigarette to his lips, but he didn't breathe in.

"You seem very dedicated to this person." His voice is so soft as he says this.

"That's because... he's a very special person to me." I couldn't hide the smile from my face as I thought of just how special he is.

Raven looked at me, then up to the sky again. I look down over the balcony to the secluded courtyard below. Seeing as Raven seemed awkward around me, I was surprised when I felt his hand on my head.

"This person is very lucky... to have someone who cares so deeply for them." His hands were bigger than they looked, and so warm! The gesture was strangely comforting coming from someone I didn't know.

"If he's as special as you say he is, you'll find him."

Again, I smiled. I couldn't help it. Something about him doing this felt right. But... I felt guilt, too; here I am feeling something for this stranger who wears Gil's face... Like I'm betraying him, betraying Gilbert.

It felt that way, at least...

I was relieved slightly when his hand left my hair. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew out slowly. I imagined the drug easing his tension, creeping through his body and forcing his brain to relax. I dislike cigarettes, but I'm glad it can make him feel better. I decided to leave him alone now. I'd been nosy enough for one day.

I played the child voice again, "Well, I think I'm going to go check on Alice. Make sure she hasn't killed Break-san or something."

He nodded silently in response.

"See you later, Raven-san!" I think that surprised him again. He hesitated before responding distractedly,

"...Yeah."

I skipped off through the window-door. Maybe I was hearing things, but I could've swore I heard Raven tag on, "...be safe."

I continued skipping, to the living room, and was greeted by a comical scene of an irritated Alice trying to rip the head off of a mad(hatter) Break as Sharon watched amusedly from the side. Everything seemed like the start of a perfect little family.

You gaiz are gonna love Chapter 4 tomorrow! :D