A/N: Okay, dunno how you'll respond to this. Hopefully, you won't come to my place, bearing weapons. Best case scenario: you'll leave a review. Pretty please?

Daddy issues

And I've done all I can

To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands

Now I'm starting to see

Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

-John Mayer -Daughters

"Who cloned Shakira?"

Ah, mornings. When else can I possibly hear the nonsensical statements my best-friend-slash-half-brother, Ben, made?

Since he was still looking at me all questioningly, I reluctantly turned around to see what he was yapping about. And lo behold, there was this new blonde chick, already hanging on the arm of The King of the Undead, Mike McCartney.

"She's not that hot." Lauren said, bossily. She gave me a brief, businesslike hug and glared at Ben. "Just 'cause she's new doesn't make her the shiniest rock in the garden."

"Chill, I'm not saying she's hotter than you." Ben made this totally fake lovey-dovey expression. I rolled my eyes and sprang out of his car. "Nothing compares to you."

"Hi, Ben." Katie said, quietly as Lauren and I made gagging noises. Ben, though an obnoxious big brother type, had a soft side that was reserved for Katie and Katie only. They had this star-crossed lovers thing going, the chief obstacles to their little romance being a)Ben being a jackass, b) Ben being four years older, and c) my existence.

"Hey, Katie Kate." He said, with this goofy smile. Katie giggled, though that was like the gazillionth time we'd heard that.

"Yeah, whatever." I said, with a hint of callousness, and banged the door. "Get lost, punk."

He looked injured. "I'm telling Dad."

Lauren snorted. "Sure you are."

After a lot of useless banter, he finally set off, weaving through the other kids as they shuffled towards school. He met Mr. Turner, the principal, on the way and honked his horn cheerfully while Turner scowled. Ben hadn't been as popular with the teachers as with the kids during his brief stay in school. I bet the days he was in the principal's office vastly outnumbered the ones in class.

"I wish I had a brother like that." Katie said, softly. Then, seeing the look on my face, she hastily added, "I mean, I know he's technically not your brother, and-"

"Damn straight." I was feeling self-righteous. Not for long, because Lauren began tugging on my sleeve impatiently.

"Listen, her name's Maggie." Lauren said, nodding at the new girl, who was laughing her head off at something Mike had said. Funny, I didn't know he spoke. It was just mostly grunts and huffs. Ben used to have this theory that all QB's have their brains removed surgically and are implanted with the ones of sheep, thus explaining why their IQ was in single digits. "And the guys are in shock because she's from California."

That, I could believe. We lived in this town no one had probably heard of, way out in Massachusetts. California was a big deal in a small town like this. Hell, Guam was a big deal in a small town like this.

"Uh, why is she here?" I asked when it became obvious that Lauren was expecting some kind of response. "I mean, has she got tired of the beach or something?"

"No." Apparently, I'd asked the right question, because Lauren's eyes widened all enigmatically. "Turns out, she had a row with her parents, and she moved here alone."

I raised my eyebrows and reserved comment. Instead, I asked, "Lauren, how do you know all this?"

She smiled mysteriously. "I have my ways."

The bell rang, so we kind of picked up our pace. On the way, I looked curiously at the new girl. I mean, okay, I know that my generation wasn't known for its placid acceptance –I myself prided myself on being a bit of a rebel- but I had never, ever seen someone who actually hated their parents enough to move to another state alone. Call me whatever you like, but I didn't think I would ever be that drastic. I loved my Dad, and Lisa was great, too.

I shrugged as I slammed my locker shut. Not my problem, I told myself.

*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)

"Do you know she used to be President of the SC of her old school?"

I smiled blandly as Jason sat down next to me. I'd somehow made it to lunch, though it was getting increasingly harder to ignore the arrival of Maggie Sadler. I wondered how Jessica Mason, resident Goddess of Everything and sometime girlfriend of Mike McCartney, was taking it. Not well, judging from the dirty looks she was aiming in Maggie's general direction. I almost yelled at her to take cover. Come on, Jess is lean, mean and scary. Maggie would have to watch out if she was going to continue her tryst with Mike.

Gah. I can't believe I'm getting sucked into these drama-filled stories! What is wrong with me?

"Face the facts, Dani." Lauren announced, sitting on my other side. "You're the only one in this god-forsaken hellhole who feels sorry for the wench. Jessica's spreading a story about how she moved here because she has herpes."

I winced. "Lauren, I don't feel sorry for her. I feel…mildly curious. "

She snorted. "Yeah, being the co-dependent daddy's girl that you are, you haven't even considered emancipation."

I blinked at her. "You mean…you have?"

She exploded, causing Diet Coke to fly everywhere. "Dani, of course every teenager considers emancipation! Every normal teenager, I mean."

Jason snickered, and I inhaled indignantly.

"I think it's sweet, actually." Katie said, suddenly. "I mean, Dani's so close to her parents and all, when everyone's doing the exact opposite."

We all stared at her. Then we exploded.

"Quite, quite insane." Jason said to himself.

"Sweet?" I echoed, numbly. "You're shitting me, right?"

"Yeah, go right ahead and make Dani a freak, why doncha?" Lauren demanded.

"I wasn't-" Katie began, looking overwhelmed.

I massaged my temples. It was going to be a long day.