[A/N: Sorry for the delay! I started the new semester and things have been crazy, both for me and for flameintheflood. We're really hoping to get the next chapter up within the next two, maybe three, weeks. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks to reviewers: A Quiet Chaos, Fun-Sized Kirk, Paul, Caliban's-Girl667, and SWaddict! I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks to everyone who put me on Alerts or Favorites too! Drop me a line, sometime ;) Also, this chapter is a bit darker than usual, but don't worry, we aren't turning this into angst.
Disclaimer: JKR is a goddess of writing genius. Maggs (FlameintheFlood) and I are just fanfiction lovers writing for fun.]
Chapter 17- Hope and Grieving
Oh dear what can the matter be
Princess, dreaming again
Fearful, live life more easily
Darkness, leave her in peace
Always wanting help
Will make you weak
No such place has help
But in your dreams
Climb out of your well
Protect me
Protect me
-"Protect me," by James
It was an unusually pleasant day for March in Northern Britain. The sun was shining brightly from a cloudless sky, melting the ice on the leafless trees and shining off of the lake. Birds were singing and small animals were making their first appearances after long, cold months of hibernation.
"I hope the weather stays this nice until summer," Heather said she walked, hand in hand with Peter, along the lake's shore, "It's amazing not having to wear a heavy cloak and hat and mittens. It's so freeing!" She dropped Peter's hand and spun around, her arms spread apart and her face lifted towards the clear sky.
"I don't mind you not wearing a heavy cloak, either," Peter teased. "It makes it easier for me to do this." He grabbed her hands and pulled her close to himself. Heather smiled up at him and he let himself get lost in her blue eyes.
"What does it make it easier for you to do?" She asked in a whisper, bringing her face closer to his.
"This." He closed the small gap that remained between them and brought his hands to her waist. After a brief kiss, he squeezed her stomach.
"Peter!" She squealed in surprise, "Don't tickle me!"
"Don't what? I can't hear you!" He continued to tickle her until her shrieks of delight became gasping laughter and she fell down, pulling him next to her in the snow.
"Don't... tickle... me." She said as the two of them lie, gasping for breath.
"But you're just so cute when you laugh," He said, putting his arm around her.
She snuggled in closer to him. Her light cloak was just thick enough to keep her from getting wet and, next to Peter, the slight chill didn't bother her at all.
Spring was coming. The young couple was in love. Life had never been so close to perfect.
***
That same afternoon, James had taken advantage of the uncharacteristically warm weather to call the first Gryffindor Quidditch practice of the season. To his delight, nobody had complained and had all shown up eager to take off. After a couple hours of hard drills, both in the air and on the ground, James motioned for his team to land. His chasers where all exhausted, Kate was enthused and his beaters were covered in sweat. What was bugging him was his seeker, Angela. He started to speak to his team.
"Okay guys," James started. Kate coughed. James rolled his eyes and continued, "And girls. Practice was really good today, especially for our first of the season. I want you out here every night you can this week, doing drills. With me as captain, our team is going to win the cup." He looked up at the darkening sky. "But, we're done for today. Go shower and change."
The team ignored his instructions and instead began to socialize on the field. James didn't actually care what they did now that practice was over, and decided that socializing could really only build good team feelings. He did, however, pull Angela aside to talk for a moment.
"Angela," He started. "What's up? We were practicing for about two hours and you didn't catch the snitch twice. I'm playing chaser and even I've seen it fluttering about. This isn't your usual performance."
She looked up at him angrily and swept back her straight black hair. "Your chasers kept getting in my way. Kristi especially. I don't even understand why she's on the team."
"She is a very good chaser, and during a game, people will get in your way when you're trying to catch the snitch," James frowned. "You know that. Usually, you play a lot better. I was wondering if something was wrong."
"It's just…" she looked at her feet. "You said you wouldn't go out with me because you didn't want to ruin team dynamics, but you went out with Kristi and she's on the team. It doesn't make sense and it's really been distracting me today."
James sighed. "I'm sorry, Angela. I guess I just don't feel that way about you. Besides, you know it can get awkward with Kristi on the team. I wouldn't want to risk more awkwardness."
"Yeah," Angela bit her lip and looked at the team members currently laughing a little bit away from them. "About Kristi, she's kind of been making practices hard for me. She was really angry when she found out that I liked you and has been very rude for the past few months. And now that we're on the field, practicing again, I just… I don't want to have to deal with her."
"I could talk to her, if you want," James suggested. "Or better yet," He raised his voice and looked over to the other team members. "Kristi! Can you come here?"
Kristi grinned and jogged over. Angela groaned and muttered something, but James was so irritated with Kristi that he didn't notice.
"Hey, James! What's up?" the blond girl asked once she was standing close to them.
"I was just concerned," He started, glaring at his ex. "because, Angela said that you've been rude to her lately, and that…"
"I most certainly have not been anything other than fair! I've explained to her how stupid it is to like you, " James started to retort angrily, but Kristi didn't stop talking. "And she has been my friend for ages and friends don't date friends' exes!"
"We were never really good friends! Teammates, yes, but not best friends!" Angela countered. "Besides, if I didn't date anyone that you had ever liked, there would be no eligible boys left at Hogwarts!"
"What do you mean by that?!" Kristi screeched. Angela didn't answer, but instead just glared at the affronted blond. There was a moment of silence on the field and James felt the entire team's eyes on the three of them.
"Angela, Kristi," James calmly, albeit awkwardly, tried to fix the situation. "In my humble opinion –"
"Nobody asked what you thought!" Kristi snarled impatiently. James just stared at her while Angela went on to rant at Kristi who in turn went back to screeching at her. Thankfully, Kate decided to take matters into her own hands.
"Shut up!" She shouted, over the angry bickering. The two girls almost looked surprised that anyone else was there. Kate took advantage of this pause in their fighting to say her piece. "First of all, we are a team and we will never win a game if we can't get along. If you think what you are fighting about is more than Quidditch, feel free to quit the team, because there are tons of people who wish they were on it."
The team muttered agreements but Kristi and Angela looked ashamed.
"Second of all," Kate continued. "Everyone knows James has been in love with Lily since first year. Get over it. James isn't the only guy at Hogwarts."
The guys on the team all cheered (except James who stood there awkwardly) and Kristi mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "But Sirius is gay…" Angela nodded and walked into the showers. A much more cheerful team followed her. Kristi and James were left standing on the field by themselves. James started to walk toward the changing rooms as well.
"Hey, James?" He stopped walking and turned around to face Kristi. She continued. "I'm really sorry about everything. I guess I just really liked you and… I know you didn't cheat on me. I kind of get possessive and it was especially hard because I knew that you always liked Lily Evans."
James smiled at her in a 'yeah, sorry' kind of way.
"So, please don't hate me," She finished sadly.
"I don't hate you, Kristi," James sighed. "I can understand why you could get possessive of me. Not only am I extremely attractive, a great Quidditch player, and incredibly charming, but I'm unattainable as well. I totally understand caring so much about somebody that you can't stand the idea of them with anyone else."
"Yeah, that's how you feel about Lily," Kristi sighed. "Don't worry James, she'll figure it out eventually. Just make sure you don't make a stupid mistake like I did with you."
"I'll keep that in mind," James grinned.
"So… you won't kick me off the team?" Kristi asked, dread in her voice.
"No. I just don't want this kind of thing to happen again." Kristi grinned back at him and they left the Quidditch pitch.
***
Despite the peace his talk with Kristi had brought the previous day, when Monday came, James was back to his usual pining. All his friends, even his ex-girlfriend, had told him to give it time with Lily, but he was finding that difficult to do. Especially while having to watch his best friends flirt easily over breakfast. Sirius was failing at being subtle about groping Remus under the table and Remus kept blushing and shoving him away. James understood this routine of theirs. Be as cute as possible without alerting the many watching girls to their relationship. Usually he could enjoy laughing at them with Peter, but Peter was also being ridiculously cute with his 5th year.
"Heather," Peter asked her. "What is your favourite flower?"
"Hmmm… Daisies," She answered. He then conjured a bouquet of daises and held them out to her.
"Nice, Peter," James rolled his eyes. Heather however looked sincerely pleased. This bugged James. "You can conjure flowers. What mastership."
James then conjured about a hundred lilies and levitated them around the Gryffindor table. He didn't even bother looking to know that the girl he wished to please was irritated. He could hear her groan from down the table.
"Mr. Pettigrew?" McGonagall called approaching her students where they sat eating breakfast.
"Sorry, Professor, the flowers are mine," James muttered. "Don't get mad at Peter."
"Of course these flowers are yours, Mr. Potter," She said, unsmiling. "They are lilies, aren't they? No, I did not come over to reprimand your attempts at romance. I need to speak to Mr. Pettigrew actually."
James looked at the professor in astonishment. Did everyone know about how much he loved Lily? Had he really been that pathetically obvious throughout the years? He ducked his head, feeling a way he hardly ever felt: embarrassed.
Peter, mildly amused that James had finally understand embarrassment, stood up and nodded to McGonagall. He then followed her out of the Great Hall.
"What's up, Professor?" McGonagall shook her head, to silence Peter.
"We will talk in my office. Your sister is there waiting for us."
"Helen? Is she okay?" Peter asked concerned. McGonagall pursed her lips and glanced sideways at Peter with pity in her eyes, but didn't answer.
Before Peter had a chance to freak out and demand information, they were entering McGonagall's office. He spotted his sister sitting at the desk, completely fine except for looking as confused and anxious as Peter felt.
"Sit down, please," McGonagall sighed as she took her place on the other side of the desk. Peter obeyed and sat next to his sister. He looked at his teacher expectantly.
"I have some bad news for you," She told them. "Would you like some tea? Or a biscuit?"
The two teenagers shook their heads and exchanged glances.
"Just tell us what is going on, Professor," Helen demanded. McGonagall sighed and started to talk.
" I'm not sure if you knew, but your father was working for He Who Must Not Be Named and last night, he was on a mission with a few other Death Eaters. They were trying to assassin somebody from an anti-Death Eater organization and, naturally this person defended himself. A few others were called to help assist the person who was attacked and, well, I'm not sure of the details, but your father was hit by a killing curse. I'm very sorry; your father is dead.
" If your father had not been a casualty of this duel, I believe that there would have been a trial, and your father would have been placed in Azkaban. Since this was not the case, your family has been reimbursed for his death and the Ministry offers their apologies. A Ministry official was sent to the school, but Dumbledore thought it more fitting if I told you the news. He seemed to think the Ministry Official would not be very kind.
"Your Father's wife is being closely watched to see if she has any alliance to the Death Eaters. If you have any information on your step mother's alliances, the Ministry has asked that you give it to them. You have been instructed to write them a letter within the week. I am very sorry for your loss, and you are excused from classes for the day. If you need to go to see Madam Pomphrey for shock, she will of course, understand. If you feel the need for more time off, just say the word and I'll ensure all your Professors will have the greatest sympathy."
Professor McGonagall stopped talking and a silence fell upon the three of them for a few moments in which Peter stared blankly at the wall behind the desk. Helen broke the silence with a question.
"Where is our Mother?" Her voice sounded hollow and lost.
McGonagall's voice was drenched in pity as she answered, "She is being interviewed at the Ministry of Magic. Do not worry; she is being taken care of. I believe her sister is with her."
Silence fell again. Peter felt claustrophobic and stood up, his chair scraping the stone floor loudly.
"May I be excused?" He asked softly. "I'll be in my dormitory if that is okay."
Before McGonagall could nod, he left.
The halls were silent as he walked away. He knew that he had left his sister alone, but he couldn't bother to care. She would be taken care of. He just needed to escape the pity and the questions that had filled the office. He needed to decide how he felt.
***
James walked through the crowded corridors a couple days later after his Potions class. Remus and Sirius had said they were going to the library (though James suspected they'd really gone to find an empty classroom) leaving James to return to Gryffindor tower alone. It was odd walking alone; over the past five and a half years, there were only a handful of times that he could remember going to and from classes without at least one of the other Marauders.
It was harder than he'd originally thought it would be to have two of his best friends in a relationship. He knew that Sirius was still his best friend, that they were still 'Padfoot and Prongs, the charming and handsome dynamic duo of Gryffindor,' but that didn't change the fact that Sirius was spending more time alone with Remus. James didn't begrudge him for it; he was glad that his friends were happy.
'Which is why you need to stop this,' he told himself sternly. 'You are not being replaced. It's just different. You don't want to shag either of them, so stop feeling jealous.'
"James!"
James turned to see who had called his name. Pushing through the crowds of uniform clad students in an attempt to catch up with him were Allie and Kate. James stopped and waited for them to reach him before continuing his way to the tower.
"Hey, ladies," James said, pushing his forlorn thoughts away with his usual cocky smile. "And how may I assist you today?"
"Oh, shut it, you prat," Kate teased as she swatted his head.
"Hey!" James objected, "You're messing up my hair!"
"Your hair couldn't be more messed up if you tried," Allie laughed.
"I know of several ways it could be messier. Care to try?" James asked with a wink.
"Sorry, love," Allie replied, "But I'm taken. Besides, you're not my type."
"Is that so?" James inquired, "Pray, love, what is your type?"
"The athletic type in blue-trimmed robes," Kate smirked. This time it was she who received a swat.
"So, James," Allie said, changing the topic, "Where are you off to?"
"Back to Gryffindor tower," he replied easily.
"Where are your normal hordes of friends and admirers?" Kate asked.
"Well," James said, "Sirius and Remus are... studying? Peter is, I believe, in our dormitory. Since he's not in Potions, he had a free period."
"How is Peter?" Allie asked quietly so that James could barely hear her over the bustle. Kate stopped wondering why Sirius was studying and also became concerned about Peter.
"He's dealing," James answered slowly, "He hasn't talked about it much. He's quiet about that type of thing. Not like Sirius or me. But Peter, when he's upset, becomes more withdrawn than even Moony."
"Oh dear..." Allie uttered as a concerned expression formed on her face. "That's not good."
"No," James agreed with a sigh, "It's not. But there isn't much I can do about it. If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to talk."
"You're such a guy!" Kate exclaimed. "If he hasn't talked about it and claims that he doesn't want to, then he probably really needs to."
"Oh..." James ran his hands through his hair.
"You should talk to him," Allie suggested, "You're one of his best friends."
"I don't know," James said. He struggled to put his reasons for his apprehension into words. "Neither of us are really that sentimental."
"It's not about being sentimental," Kate retorted. "It's about grieving. He can't just hold it in. It'll eat him away."
"What about Padfoot or Moony? Remus would probably be better at it than I," James admitted.
"Maybe," Allie replied. "But that's if the experiences of all you boys were the same. Sirius couldn't care less about what happens to his father. Remus would probably be able to talk to him, but he can only offer sympathy. You can offer empathy."
"And empathy," Kate added, "is probably what Peter needs most right now. Empathy and somebody to force him to talk."
James nodded. Allie and Kate were right. Peter was one of his best friends and if he could do anything to stop this from eating away at his heart, he would.
***
James found Peter lying on his bed and staring silently at the ceiling. He seemed to not have heard his friend enter the room for he made no acknowledgement of James' presence.
"Wormtail?" James said quietly as he shut the door and went to sit down on his bed, "How are you doing?"
Peter made a noncommittal noise.
"You know," James tried again, "if you want to talk, I'm a good listener."
"No you're not," Peter answered monotonically.
"Well, I can try. I'm willing to. You're one of my best mates, I don't want to see you suffer."
"I've told you, I'll be fine," Peter said with a sigh. "I don't want to talk about it. You wouldn't understand."
"I can try to," James insisted, "I don't know what I'd do if my dad died."
"No, you don't," Peter agreed. He sat up on his bed to face James before he continued. "But you wouldn't be torn as to how to feel. Your dad is one of the good guys. My dad was killed by the good guys."
"Maybe it was a mistake," James offered weakly.
"It wasn't," Peter countered. "I know he was in with the Death Eaters. He's been trying to get me to join 'The Cause' as well."
"You never told us that!" James exclaimed. "You said that he was a supporter, but never that he was actually in."
"My mom wanted to keep it quiet," Peter sighed. "But that's pointless now that it's been all over the Prophet that he was involved in a Death Eater operation. What are people going to think of me? Of Helen?"
"I'm sorry," James said. He didn't know what else to say. But, it seemed to James that now that Peter had started talking, the flow of words was just coming. So, James pulled on every listening ability he had and let his friend rant.
"You have no idea how I feel, James. You wouldn't be going between relieved that there's one less of them, that your family name was no longer tainted with them and being sad that your dad had died. And it's not like I can hate him the way Sirius does, because I'm just not Sirius!"
"Nobody said you have to hate him," James replied quietly. "He was your dad; you're allowed to love him, even if he was wrong. It doesn't change the fact that he was your father."
"But I don't know if I love him, either," Peter whispered. "He left us, he hurt my mother and Helen, and he joined up with the people who want to get rid of muggleborns like Lily and... and Heather. How can I even have the right to love him after all of that?"
"Because love doesn't always make sense," James answered.
"But I don't even know if I love him or if it's all just out of some sort of duty, that I owe him for being my father, that I have a duty to follow where he left off because he was my dad." Peter closed his eyes and let his head fall down, resting in his hands. It was all getting to be too much. He didn't want to love his father, but he didn't want to hate him. He didn't want to join the Death Eaters, but what if that was what was expected of him now?
"You don't owe him your love unless you think he's deserved it," James said slowly, "And you don't have any sort of duty to join up now that he's gone. That was his choice. You make your own choices; you aren't your father."
"What about my family?" Peter asked, for the first time expressing aloud what had been plaguing his thoughts since McGonagall had told him what had happened. "What about my mum and Helen? What if they go after them if I don't join them?"
"I don't think they will," James tried to reassure him. "They probably don't even expect you to join. You're not even of age!"
"What if they do, Prongs?" Peter insisted, lifting his head from his hands and meeting James' hazel eyes with his own. "What if it's the only way to keep them safe?"
"Stop that," James said, his eyes widening. Was Peter really suggesting this? No... His friend was just grieving. But terrible things could come from grief. James wracked his mind, trying to think of some alternative, something that would serve as an equal in keeping Peter's family safe, something that wouldn't require his friend to acquire the most loathsome set of robes the Wizarding World knew of. To whom could they go? Who had the ability, the magical power, to match or even surpass the rising darkness of Lord Voldemort?
"Dumbledore!" James exclaimed suddenly.
"What?" Peter asked, taken aback.
"Dumbledore!" James repeated.
"I'm not sure I'm following you, mate," Peter said, looking at his friend as though he'd swallowed a babbling draught.
"Dumbledore will know how to keep your family safe," James explained quickly. "We'll go to Dumbledore. We'll tell him everything and I'm sure he'll be able to find a way to keep your family safe. He's the most powerful wizard of the century! And I think... I think I've overheard my parents talking about things he's done to counter Voldemort. I'm sure he'll be able to help."
"You think?" Peter asked. For the first time in days he looked hopeful. "Do you really think he'll be able to help? To keep them safe?"
"I do."
"Good," Peter answered. He laughed weakly, "Because I really, really didn't want to join with the Death Eaters. You know that, right?"
"I do," James said again. "You're not that kind of person, Wormtail. Let's go."
***
"How do we get in?" Peter asked twenty minutes later as he and James stood outside the gargoyle that guarded the door to the Headmaster's office.
"I think there's a password," James answered absently as he looked up and down the corridors, hoping for the first time in his life to see a professor.
"I may not be as bright as you, Prongs," Peter sighed, "But I'm not too stupid to know that. I meant, what is the password?"
"I don't know. It's probably some complicated post-NEWT level spell name," James theorized.
"Or some obscure ancient wizard," Peter lamented.
"Or, perhaps," a voice sounded from behind the two boys, "sugar quills."
The gargoyle sprung aside, leaving behind a doorway into a spiral staircase. James and Peter stood in silent surprise as Dumbledore walked past them and to the door.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew?" Dumbledore asked, stopping to face them before stepping onto the staircase.
"Y-yes, Professor?" Peter stuttered.
"Are you going to come along? I can only assume that the reason you were standing outside my office was because you wished to talk with me."
"Yes, Professor," James confirmed, "We did. Do you have time?"
"Yes, I do. Follow me." He beckoned for them to follow after him into the raising staircase; they did.
Neither Peter nor James had ever been in the Headmaster's office before. They had never seen the portrait covered walls or the cases full of whirring delicate instruments. They looked around, amazed. Both of them had always thought that, if they were to see it, it would have been due to crossing some invisible line in their pranking. They'd never expected that they would go there of their own accord, and certainly not without Remus and Sirius. But, their lives were changing. The world outside of Hogwarts was getting darker. Talking to a professor of their own choice suddenly didn't seem as catastrophic as it may have just months ago.
"Please, take a seat," Dumbledore said as he sat in his own chair behind. With a wave of his wand, two plain, but rather comfortable looking chairs appeared opposite him. James and Peter did as they were told. Before Dumbledore could inquire as to why the two Gryffindor 6th years wanted to speak with him, however, a flash of scarlet caught James' eye.
"Professor," he gasped, "you have a phoenix?"
"Yes, I do," Dumbledore replied, smiling as he reached out his arm. The giant bird flew from his perch near the window and landed on the old man's arm surprisingly lightly. "His name is Fawkes. I've had him for several years now. I'm quite fond of him."
"But those are very rare," James said, still staring.
"Yes, indeed they are," Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling. "He is incredibly intelligent and very useful. I am quite fond of him. But, I do not believe that you came to my office to discuss Fawkes. Unless, that is, I am severely mistaken."
"No, you were not mistaken," James answered. "We actually came here to talk to you about Peter's family."
"Ah, I see," Dumbledore said, shiftinghis gaze towards the other boy. "This is not completely unexpected, though I cannot say that I could've predicted your coming. Well, Mr. Pettigrew, what about your family would you like to talk about?"
"I-I want them t-to be safe," Peter said, tripping over his words. He was nervous. He'd never had a conversation with the headmaster, before, and Dumbledore's bright blue eyes seemed to be examining him quite thoroughly.
"Quite understandable," Dumbledore agreed. "Please, go on."
"Well, I don't want to join the Death Eaters," Peter said, starting to talk quickly, "But my dad wanted me to before he... before he died. And I think they want me to, too. You know, as a sort of family thing. But I don't want to join them! But I don't want them to go after my mum and Helen to try to get me to join. I want them to stay safe. I can't lose them. I love them. But You-Know-Who is so powerful. I don't know what to do. James... James said that maybe you'd be able to help."
"Mr. Potter was, indeed, correct," Dumbledore started, not taking his eyes from Peter's. "I can help. I can, perhaps, offer the best help available. I do not believe that you are wrong. In fact, I quite agree that the Death Eaters would want you on their side and they would use extreme measure to coerce you into joining. I'm pleased that you see that there are other options."
"What can you do?" Peter asked.
"The anti-Death Eater group that was targeted by your father and other Death Eaters is, in fact, a group started by me. It is called The Order of the Phoenix. It is a secret group dedicated to countering Lord Voldemort. We are small, but we are growing. And, more importantly, we are strong. We have people placed in the ministry, both as Aurors and doing desk jobs."
"And... and this group can help keep my family safe?" Peter asked.
"Yes, it can," Dumbledore answered. "Because I think that you're correct, I will place Order of the Phoenix members who act as Aurors on duty to act as a type of body guards to make sure that no Death Eaters come near your mother. The same will apply to your sister while she isn't at school."
"And what about when she is at school?" Peter asked.
"When she's at school she will not only have several of the best witches and wizards that England has to offer surrounding her, but members of the Order of the Phoenix as well. And, of course, me."
"Which teachers are members?" James asked suddenly.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore answered, turning back to James with a slight smile on his face, "But I am afraid that I cannot disclose that information. Membership of the group is secret, for obvious reasons. Only other members know who else is involved. And, even then, some secrets are maintained."
"I'll join, then." James said, and the look on his face was defiant. He stared into Dumbledore's eyes, almost as if daring him to disagree.
"Again, I must apologise to you, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said with a sad smile, "But I cannot possibly allow you to join the Order of the Phoenix."
"Why not? I'm at the top of my class and I'm quick learner. I want to help fight against Voldemort!" James argued.
"I do not doubt that," Dumbledore consented. "But, the fact remains that you are not yet of age. Do not interrupt me – I know you will be seventeen in a few weeks. But you are still a student. You've recently suffered loss and you're upset and angry. I could not, in any way, accept you as a member of the Order."
"That's not--" James started to say.
"However," Dumbledore continued, "I will reconsider your wish to join when you graduate. You as well, Mr. Pettigrew, if you wish."
"Yes, Sir," Peter said, "Anything. I would... I will do anything."
"I will do everything that I can as well," Dumbledore assured him, "But now, I do have another appointment that I must attend to. Thank you, Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew." Dumbledore waved a hand to dismiss them and turned to a pile of papers. Peter and James thanked him and, after exchanging a quick affirmative glance with each other, left the office.
***
"Hello, Marauders," James said loudly knocking on the door to their dormitory. He walked in after a few seconds, giving his roommates time to get off each other. As he walked in, he realized he was correct in his assumption that his friends would be being intimate. Luckily, however, they were both wearing clothes. They sat up on Sirius' bed and greeted the entering boys.
"We should work out a sock system," Peter suggested. "If anyone is doing something dirty in the dormitory, put a sock on the doorknob. But please, try to find a different place to… yeah… because the dorm is a shared space."
Sirius and Remus agreed blushingly and Peter and James sat on the bed opposite them.
"So," James started in a new, solemn and serious tone. "I've been thinking a lot about Voldemort lately. He's really touching our lives and not in a good way…"
"Now that my Dad is dead, I'm responsible for protecting my family," Peter took over. "Me and James went to talk to Dumbledore."
"We learned that there is a way to not just sit idly by and watch all this stuff that is happening," James went on. "Sirius, ever since I've known you, you have hated the views your family has about muggleborns and blood status. You can't stand that your brother is part of that and –"
"I know," Sirius interrupted. "What is it that we can do? I'm as eager to fight this shit as anyone."
Remus took a breath and said what they all knew, but seemed to fail to acknowledge. "This isn't just shit. This is a war on its way. We're safe at Hogwarts and it's so easy to just get caught up in our own lives that I'm not sure if you guys realize how big this is. We're sixteen years old. There's nothing we can do. This wouldn't just be rebelling against school rules; it would be taking a stand against a very powerful wizard. One that wouldn't think twice about killing four self righteous school boys."
Peter swallowed loudly, but James looked determined.
"You're right about that last bit, Remus, but maybe you don't quite get all of it. My family has been killed and Peter's family was ripped apart and Sirius was disowned. I would say that this is our lives and we wouldn't be fighting because of great ambitions or glorified self images. We would be fighting for our lives." James' was dead serious and the effect of such a usually care free guy set on something, well it really spoke to the other boys. Remus set his jaw and nodded.
"I agree," He said. "We have to do something. Forgive me for playing devil's advocate."
"No, it's okay, Moony," James gave him a sad smile. "It's not a light decision. We have time to think."
"But, time to think before what?" Sirius asked impatiently.
"Before we graduate and can choose whether or not to join the force that fights against Voldemort. Before we're old enough to join the Order of the Phoenix."
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[A/N: So... what did you think? Are your opinions on characters changing? Is the pacing okay? What would you like to see more of? Less of? Tell us you exist! Love, Liebe.]