[A/N: Oh god, oh god, oh god! We didn't die and desert this fic! We are so so so so so so soooo sorry about the long long wait. See, we were going to combine this with the next chapter, but then it was too long and so there were issues. And also, sorry if you hate angst, but there is some of that in this story. It wasn't going to be that big of a section, but then it was and... Next chapter will be better me hopes. Anyways, we love: Love-of-all-Anime, Jaccalax, Fun-Sized Kirk, SWaddict1986, Paul, any Emf2694,! So much. You are such inspirations. Anyways, Happy spring!

Disclaimer: Jo WOULD never ever write this. I never COULD write real Harry Potter. That is why I do not own Harry Potter... somehow JKR still manages to own me though... and my story... and my sister... anyways, disclaimed. :D

and, finally......

Chapter 19

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know

-Sarah McLachlan, Stupid

The Friday after the Marauder's celebratory trip to Hogsmeade, the four boys came down to the common room to find a crowd of people around the notice board. James smiled and pushed his way to the front of the queue. After quickly perusing the new announcement, he turned around and whooped.

"What is it, Prongs?" Sirius asked. "Did Lily put out a PSA that she doesn't despise you?"

"Lily doesn't despise me," James answered easily as he made his way back to his three friends. "It's a notice for the next Hogsmeade trip, a week from tomorrow."

"Why are you so excited about Hogsmeade?" Peter asked as the group of boys began to make their way through the waning crowd and out of the common room. "We can go whenever we want to."

"True," James replied, "But we can't go with our other friends whenever the mood strikes us."

"By 'other friends' he means dates," Sirius said in a mock whisper.

"You're a prat, you do know that, right?" James asked as he shoved his friend.

"Yes, but a loveable prat," Sirius answered, retaliating with a slightly more forceful shove. "Besides, it takes one to know one. So what does that make you?"

"A pot," Remus answered for him. The three boys stopped walking and stared at their friend. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "From the expression 'the pot calling the kettle black.'" He paused, looking expectantly at his friends who just continued to stare.

Remus continued, "It's a muggle expression. When somebody is being hypocritical, they use it. Honestly, you guys need to be more cultured."

"Why be cultured when you're more than cultured enough for all of us?" Sirius teased, draping his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. "Besides, if I'm a kettle, I make tea. Tea is cultured."

"I'm not a pot." James shook his head. "Nor am I a hypocrite. Nor am I a pot. And, Padfoot, we're in England. Everybody drinks tea."

"I don't," Peter put in.

"Well," Sirius teased, "You're just weird."

"Hey," Peter said with a smile, "at least I'm not cookware."

***

"Should I ask Lily to Hogsmeade?" James asked that evening as the four boys lounged in armchairs in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius looked up from the game of Wizard's Chess that he was losing to Peter and just shook his head in amusement and looked expectantly at Remus.

"What is that look supposed to mean, Padfoot?" James demanded.

"It means that I owe him a galleon," Remus lamented.

"You were betting on whether or not I'd debate asking Lily?" James said, aghast.

"It was more of a friendly wager and it was over whether or not you asked Lily," Sirius corrected. "You asked Lily to every Hogsmeade trip last year, but I don't think you have asked her at all this year. I knew you'd crack."

"Should I ask Lily to Hogsmeade?" James repeated, choosing to ignore his friend.

"Well," Remus said slowly, "You two haven't been fighting as much this year. I'd even go as far as to say that you've been friendly."

"That doesn't answer my question," James said. "I don't want to ruin whatever quasi friendship we've developed by being the arrogant toe-rag she thinks I am. But I do want to go to Hogsmeade with her."

"Just ask her, then, Prongs," Sirius sighed. "Being a girl about it won't get you anywhere. Quit wavering. Just ask her. If she says no, she says no. It's not like you're not used to being turned down by Evans."

"Aren't you courteous," James retorted. "You sure know how to give a guy a pep talk."

"You've heard it before," Sirius answered in a carefree voice. "Me pumping up your ego before you ask her out never seems to help, so I thought I'd deflate it a bit. You know, try a different tactic."

"What's this?" James stared at his friend. "Sirius Black being not only serious, but insightful?"

"Hey, it happens," Sirius grinned. "And, besides, I'm always S-"

"Yes, yes, we know," Peter cut him off. The other two boys laughed as their Sirius frowned and glared at them.

"I'm going to ask her," James said, his voice filled with a sudden determination. Before his friends could assure him (or dissuade him) James turned and walked across the common room to where Lily was sitting with Maia, Allie, and Kate.

"Hey, Lily?" James asked when he reached the girls.

"Yes?" She said, looking up at him from her Charms notes.

"Could I have a quick word?"

"Um, sure," Lily answered. She pushed back her chair and followed him as he led her a couple of feet away. Maia and Allie shared a knowing glance and Kate giggled.

"What's up, James?" Lily asked once they were out of earshot of any other students.

"I…" James hesitated, suddenly nervous. It was now or never. Well, now or later. If she said no, he could always ask again. But they were on better terms, weren't they? There was a chance that she would say yes. He took a deep breath. "Lily, I was wondering… er… I was… can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," she answered slowly. She thought she knew what James was going to ask her. She had seen the Hogsmeade notices that morning on her way down to breakfast. Kate had spent all morning trying to convince her that James wasn't going to invite her and then Allie had spent all afternoon trying to convince her that she was. Maia had been downright infuriating and continually suggested that she invite him. Lily had flat out refused to even consider Maia's advice; she did not want to ask James to go to Hogsmeade with her.

"Well… I was wondering…" James raised his hand to his hair, started to ruffle it but then quickly lowered his hand and stuck it in the pockets of his trousers. "I was thinking that… maybe next weekend… You… I… because there's that… Would you like to… Potions essay!"

"Potions essay?" Lily retorted, taken aback.

"You know," James mumbled, "That potions essay we have due in a week."

"James," Lily said softly, "We don't have a potions essay due. What are you talking about?"

"Well," James answered, and now he was speaking quickly, nearly tripping over his words, "Sometimes Professor Slughorn doesn't assign them until really late and that means that I won't start it until even later so I think that maybe you would help me again to make sure that I actually write it and don't just copy off of Remus. But I guess since we don't have one yet there is no way of knowing if we'll get one so I think I'll just be off now. Good night." And with that, James turned and walked quickly across the common room and up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, not bothering to stop and get his things.

"What in Merlin's name was that about?" Maia asked when Lily returned to the table, a look of complete shock and incomprehension on her face.

"I have no idea," Lily said, her eyes wide.

"Did you say yes?" Kate asked.

"Of course she didn't," Maia countered, "Because saying yes would mean admitting that she might maybe harbor a small amount of positive feelings towards him."

"Did you say yes?" Kate repeated, ignoring her friend. "I was sure he wouldn't ask you. But then he came over to talk to you, and a week before Hogsmeade could only mean one thing. So, I ask again, did you say yes?"

"There was nothing to say yes to," Lily answered.

"You mean he didn't ask?" Allie demanded.

"No, he didn't," Lily replied. "I was sure he was going to. But he just asked me if I would help him with a potions essay."

"We have a potions essay?" Maia exclaimed. "Shit! Why didn't you tell me?"

"No, we don't," Lily shook her head. "I have no idea what he was going on about. We definitely do not have an essay due for potions any time soon. If I didn't know better, I'd say he'd gone bonkers."

"He probably meant to ask you out," Allie put in, "but then lost his nerve."

"James Potter? Lose his nerve?" Lily laughed. "You have got to be kidding me. Potter has enough nerve and arrogance for the entire Gryffindor House!"

"Still," Allie insisted, "You're his weak spot, his Achilles' heel, and you know it. If there's anybody that could make him nervous, it's you."

"Yeah, sure," Lily dismissed her. "And then the Giant Squid will come out of the lake and take over Dumbledore's position."

"I think the more important question," Kate started with a smirk, "is whether or not you would've said yes if he'd asked."

"That's completely irrelevant," Lily snapped.

"And that's completely not an answer to my question," Kate countered.

"It was a stupid question," Lily replied angrily. "You know right well what my answer would've been."

"Yes," Kate laughed, "I think I do. But I think you don't. Or, you don't want to admit it."

"Katherine Brown stop that this instant!" Lily cried. "You are being annoying and daft."

Kate started to reply, but Allie cut her off, "What are your plans for Hogsmeade, Kate?"

"I don't know," Kate replied shortly.

"Well," Allie continued, ignoring her friend's sour attitude at being cut off, "I haven't talked to Josh yet, but I overheard Heather telling Kristi that she was going on a double date with Peter, Remus, and Sirius, so I thought that it might be fun to do that with you guys."

"I don't have a date," Lily pointed out.

"Yes," Allie answered, "But you would be able to find one, I'm sure. But it would be fun! Kate, I'm sure Caleb would be up for it. What do you think?"

"I suppose that could be fun," Kate conceded, reluctantly smiling. "I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Great!" Allie said cheerfully. "What about you, Maia? Do you think that you and Kingsley would want to come?"

"I'm not sure…" Maia said slowly.

"What do you mean?" Allie asked. "Kinsley and Josh are pretty much best friends, aren't they? Or were you thinking you'd just want some one-on-one time with Kinsley?"

"I don't know," Maia answered and she sighed. "Things are a little… tense right now. I mentioned Hogsmeade this afternoon but he didn't really give me an answer."

"That's odd," Lily said. "I'm sure things will get better, though. Have you guys talked about it?"

"No," Maia bit her lip, "not yet, at any rate. I don't want to cause anything if I'm just imagining things, you know?"

"He's probably just stressed because of NEWTs," Allie suggested. "I mean, those are around the same time as the OWLs, aren't they? Which means that they're before the normal exams. And they will determine his entire future."

"Yeah, you're right," Maia agreed, "I mean, he's trying for the Auror Academy."

"Well," Lily assured her, "then I'm sure that's it. You need top grades for that. And he's a Ravenclaw. You know how they can get sometimes."

"I hope so," Maia said slowly. "I really do."

***

"So," Allie said on Sunday as the four girls finished their dinner, "I've talked to Josh and he is definitely up for a multiplet date next weekend. You guys in?"

"Multiplet?" Maia raised her eyebrows. "Is that even a word?"

"Well... It isn't strictly supposed to be used in this sense, but I adapted it for our needs as I saw fit. Technically a multiplet is a characteristic splitting pattern observable in NMR spectra-" Allie started to explain, but Kate cut her off.

"Really," Kate said in an exasperated tone, "We do not care. We get the point. And yes, count me and Caleb in."

"I don't have a date," Lily reminded her. "I can't exactly go as a third wheel."

"You'd be more of a seventh wheel, I think," Kate pointed out. "And as we said, I'm sure you could get anybody you wanted."

"Well, there's nobody in particular I want to go to Hogsmeade with," Lily laughed. "You girls can have your fun. I don't mind running errands by myself. I really don't."

"We'll work something out," Maia said lazily. "We have forever until Hogsmeade."

"It's less than a week away!" Allie exclaimed.

"Exactly," Maia answered, finishing her pumpkin juice. "Ages and ages away."

"I don't know what planet you live on," Allie said as she stabbed a bit of broccoli with her fork, "But it is definitely not one I'm familiar with."

"Deep breaths, Allie," Kate teased. "If you stop breathing then you won't get to go to Hogsmeade no matter how well you plan."

"Exactly!" Maia said and laughed. As she reached for the pitcher to pour herself more juice, she caught sight of Kingsley gathering his things and leaving the Ravenclaw table. Her face, which had been bright with life as she joked around carelessly with Lily, Allie and Kate, fell and her shining grey eyes lost their laughter.

"What's up?" Lily asked, noting the sudden change in her friend's demeanor.

"Kinglsey is over there," Maia sighed. "I told him I'd come find him today. He wants to talk. I better go over there."

"Okay, love," Allie said, giving her an encouraging smile. "I hope everything is okay."

Maia just shrugged and pushed back her chair to leave.

"Hey, Maia." Kingsley called as he saw her get up and leave her friends.

"Hello," Maia walked over to her boyfriend. She took in his beautiful black skin outlined by the crisply pressed white oxford; the blue that lined his sweater vest and his gorgeously high cheek bones. She sighed, hating the strange tightness in her stomach mixed with the usual warmth of seeing him. Somehow, her mouth knew how to form words and she let them help her feign ignorance. "You said you wanted to talk?"

Kingsley nodded and wet his lips; those dark, beautiful lips that Maia was so familiar with. They walked silently out of the Great Hall. Those lips parted and started to speak, but Maia didn't have to listen to know what he said. They were breaking up. It had been coming for ages now, but that didn't mean it wasn't a shock. Being broken up with like this, after dinner, right outside the Great Hall: It was like having an uncle die. The fat uncle with diabetes and serious heart problems who has been smoking for forty years. You knew there were issues, but somehow it's still a shock when you find out that he has taken his last breath.

"Why?" Maia felt her own lips ask. She knew why, but she couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact reason. "Don't you still love me?"

"I…" Kingsley swallowed. "I do. But… who are we kidding? We get in stupid fights all the time and… I'm leaving at the end of the year."

"We don't fight that much…" Maia lied. Kingsley gave her a small smile. "And… it's not the end of the year yet. We still have time. Besides, I can sneak out to Hogsmeade and meet up with you next year. I know Sirius and James know how…"

"Maia…" Kingsley sighed. "There's also… we're too different. I mean, you're friends with a werewolf, and I'm going to start training as an Auror. You know that werewolves are starting to side with You Know Who, right? I'll have to fight them and… you're too soft to have to deal with that."

"I'm not soft!" Maia scoffed, holding back tears. "You underestimate me. And what does Remus have to do with us?"

"It's not just Remus…" Kingsley said slowly. "Sirius Black as well. I mean, he is a Black. What if I had to arrest one of his family members? Could you forgive me for that? I don't want you to have to."

"We'd deal with that if it happened!" Maia's voice was rising and people were walking by, laughing and chatting. Everything was swarming around her and her head started to hurt. She set her jaw and looked down, muttering, "These are totally non-reason reasons."

"Yes, well," Kingsley sighed and looked the girl who'd captured his heart with her laugh, smile, and spirit. "I think it's for the best."

"I disagree," Maia said through gritted teeth. "I think you're being a complete idiot."

"Maybe I am being an idiot." Kingsley glared. "But that doesn't change anything."

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Kingsley spoke again, this time a sad smile touching his lips, those lips that Maia found herself already missing

"Can we please still be friends?" He asked; his tone was almost begging and he took her small, pale hands in his large black ones. "I care about you, Maia. I don't want to lose you. I want to still be friends. Can we do that?"

Maia stood frozen, but somehow she managed to form the answer "I don't know" before mustering the will to move.

Before she could give herself a chance to amend her answer, Maia turned and walked away, her head held high. She walked proudly, trying to show him exactly what kind of idiot he was, until she made her way around the corner to an empty corridor. Once she was sure she was alone, she fell against a wall and slid to the floor and put her head in her hands, unable to register or even comprehend what had just happened.

***

The castle fell silent as Maia sat there, staring blankly at the wall across the corridor from herself. A Slytherin she recognized as Severus Snape walked by, but she ignored him even as he stopped to stare at her.

"You're Lily's friend, right?" He asked. After a few moments his companion also spoke. She looked up this time when she recognized the slimy sounding voice of Mulciber.

"Why is such a pretty little blood traitor sitting alone in a deserted hallway?" the boy sneered." Where's your big Ravenclaw boyfriend, Shacklebolt? Is it really wise of him to leave his little girl all alone in the castle? Especially at this hour."

He made his way toward her, the most disgusting, hungry look in his eyes. Maia stood up at that and walked away, down the empty corridor. She heard the cackling Slytherins walk away behind her and felt, for a few seconds, anger at the creeps. Then anger at Kingsley. Then anger at herself. After a while, she just felt exhausted and slumped against yet another wall. The windows darkened, but Maia hardly registered that curfew was upon her.

Then she heard boys laughing and she grinned. She would recognize that louder barking laugh anywhere: Sirius Black. He and Remus tumbled out of what seemed to be a closet, right next to her. Their hair was mussed and their fingers linked together in the sweetest way. After a few seconds they noticed her and taking her in, their faces immediately fell.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, concerned.

"Kingsley…" Maia mumbled. "But I'm sorry… I'll just go up to the common room. Carry on."

"No way," Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the girl off the floor. "What did the idiot Ravenclaw do?"

"He broke up with me," Maia found herself saying.

"The git!" Sirius exclaimed, but Maia shook her head.

"He had his reasons," she said softly. "I won't say they were good reasons. But they were reasons. Those stupidly clever Ravenclaws never do things without reasons."

"Come here," Sirius said and he opened his arms. Maia accepted the offer and leaned into her friend before letting her face crumble and her hot tears fall.

[A/N:[A/N: So, even though you probably hate us, you should review anyways, tell us what you thought. Again, sorry for the short chapter, really late. :D And I promise more cannon characters soon. Love. Peace. Harry Potter.]