Sonny really didn't know what was wrong with her. She thought that she was over all of this rape stuff. But when Chad forcefully kissed her all the memories from that night came back into her head. As she made it back to where she ran off she found Chad still standing in the same spot.
"I really screwed you up that night, didn't I?" Chad said, quietly. Sonny could barely hear him.
"Chad, no you didn't. It's only been 2 months. It will fade with time. And then I'll be able to do anything I want to with you, without starting to cry." Sonny said, placing a hand on Chad's shoulder only to have him shrug it off.
"How can you even be in the same room with me Sonny? I did the worst possible thing that could have happened, minus killing you, and yet you forgive me and act like nothing ever happened. How can you just act like something like that never happened?" Chad said, backing away from her like he was going to hurt her just being to close to her.
"Chad, you were drunk. It's not like you were sober and knew what you were doing. I forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself."
"But, how can you?"
"Chad look at me. If you did that to me again and I forgive you then you are allowed to question me." Sonny said, causing Chad to smile a little.
"Ok. I just feel like a bad guy sometimes."
"Chad Dylan Cooper, you are not a bad guy. You are just a guy that made one mistake. And the fact that you feel guilty about it makes you a good guy. You hear me." Sonny said, lifting Chad's chin up so he would look her in the eye.
"Yeah, your right. Most guys would just and go do it again."
"Yeah! And just because we can't do a full make out session yet doesn't mean we can't do this." Sonny said, leaning up and giving Chad a peck on the lips.
"Yeah, that's better then nothing at all." Chad said, giving Sonny another kiss.
"Good. Now I better be getting back to my cast. They are probably getting like no studying done. We'll talk about this later." Sonny said, walking back to the prop house.
Chad walked back to his dressing room still thinking about what Sonny told him. He knew that he was like any other guys who rapes women, but he still did feel like the bad guy.
Sitting done on his couch he did everything to try to get his mind off of all this things. Not being able to think of anything else, he walked in the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. That's when he spotted it. His razor. He all ways thought about the feeling it would be to have the sharp blade against his skin. But never in a million years did he ever think that he would do it.
Popping out the razor blade and holding it in his hands he thought that now would be the best time to give it a try. Closing and locking the door, Chad pulled off his shirt. Choosing a spot close to his shoulder so he could still wear short sleeves without causing question Chad put the cold metal to his skin.
Pushing on the blade hard to puncture the skin he drew about a 5 inch long line in his arm, he was surprised of how easily it was to cut his on arm. Placing the razor blade on the sink, he watched the wound bleed for a while in the bathroom mirror. As the cut started to stop bleeding, Chad bandaged it up before pulling his shirt back on. Walking back out of his dressing room, he was flying high. He finally had a solution to get the rape out of his head.
A/N: What do you think about Chad cutting now? I know it has occurred in a few other stories, but I thought that it sorta fit this one. Tell me what ya think. Thanks, Danielle.