Woo, new oneshot! I feels so bad for not updating...this story is definitely my most neglected one...but I'm finally getting a new one up so...yeah!

Paint Fight

"So, why are we doing this again?" asked Renji for the umpteenth time, as he dipped the large painter's brush into the can of red paint once again before raising it up to the wall and then dragging it down, creating a long, wide streak against the bare wall in its path.

"Because I told the Shinigami Women's Association that I would take care of getting the new meeting room painted." Rukia said this while continuing to paint, not even stealing a single glance at him.

"So then why am I doing it?" he asked.

"Because you love me." The response was short, sweet, and simple. Not to mention it was truer than the fact that birds had wings. Renji grumbled a bit, before replying,

"Fair enough. At least we're almost done." He spoke the truth, as there was only about a quarter of a wall left to paint, which they could easily finish in no time. Rukia snorted at his comment.

"Idiot, no we're not, there's still three more rooms to paint." Renji's face went blank, and he turned to face her in twitchy, jerky movements.

"What?"

"Yeah, one room for the meetings, one room to manage our finances in, another room to have snacks in, and one last room where Yachiru can store her candy." Renji, turned back to normal, dropped his brush in the can and crossed his arms over his chest.

"There's no way I'm painting three more rooms," he said firmly. "You told me we were painting one, and I'm not painting anymore than that. To this, Rukia simply pulled out her big eyes and acting voice routine.

"Please?" she asked, so innocently that he almost gave in before steadying his resolve once more.

"No."

"Pleeeaaase?" she snuggled up to his side, grasping his arm while cuddling as close as she could to his large body. All the while he was willing himself to not look at her face, for he knew that if he did he wouldn't be able to refuse her request.

"N...No." While he said this, his voice cracked, and Rukia knew that she had to take the opportunity of his moment of weakness and kick him while he was down.

"Come on, Renji-kun..." she cooed, purposefully moving her face up close to his and adding on the honorific to increase her level of temptation. "I can't finish all by myself, I need a big strong man to help out before I faint." At this point, Renji could tell that she REALLY wanted his help, as she never pulled out the, 'I'm-a-helpless-damsel-who-needs-rescued-by-a-big-strong-man' act unless she was very desperate. There was only one more level of this 'act'(for lack of a better term), and though Renji could stand the level she was at now, he wasn't sure if he would be able to survive her next onslaught.

"No," he managed to choke out, though he could feel tiny drops of sweat beading on his forehead. Both shinigami knew what was coming next after this.

"Is that so?" she asked next to his ear, though now her voice seeped not of cuteness and desperation, but of pure seductiveness. A tiny hand slipped beneath the hem of his shihakusho, running over the plethora of tattoos there in a way that Rukia knew would make him submit to her wishes.

"Are you sure?" she asked breathily, hoping that she had finally broken him. Her hand began moving lower, and she knew that he wouldn't be able to stand it much longer.

"F-Fine, I'll do it!" he blurted out, and right as he said it, Rukia had pulled her hand back and returned to painting her appointed section of the wall.

With an exasperated sigh, Renji also returned to his own job, internally cursing the wicked woman beside him for knowing everything that set him off and taking advantage of it.

"Evil bitch," he muttered. Rukia heard this, but brushed it aside, simply continuing on as she said,

"Don't be such a big baby, idiot." She purposefully flicked her brush towards him, causing tiny specks of blue paint to fly off of it and land on his cheek.

"Don't flick paint on me," he scolded, mimicking the action towards her. Now her own cheek was speckled with paint the same color as his hair, and both individuals were getting really angry really fast.

"Renji, baka, you're not supposed to tell me not to do something when you're doing it. Hypocrite." More paint was flung on him.

"You started it, midget." With a flick of the wrist, Renji sent more paint flying her way, and it was all either could do not to full-out attack each other.

"Well then I'll finish it." Moving over closer to him, she rose the brush up next to his face before making a streak of blue right across his forehead.

"There," she said, showing a triumphant smirk. "I got rid of those ugly tattoos for you. All done." Returning to her work, she continued wearing a smug smirk with Renji glaring angrily until said man reached over and swept the brush down her cheek, making almost all of it red. No one insulted the tats. No one.

Rukia's eye twitched. Re-dipping the brush in its can so it was full of paint, she slammed the bright blue brush right into his face without warning, causing him to splutter and spit out a bunch of it while wiping his eyes and nose furiously in an attempt to see again. Not to mention he didn't want paint up his nose for a week.

"You are gonna pay for that!" he hissed, and she chuckled menacingly before flash stepping to the other side of the room to escape his reach.

"Oh yeah? How are you gonna get me when I'm-" her request was cut off as Renji, and the can of paint which had been sitting beside him suddenly disappeared. Oh shit, was the only thought Rukia could process before a whole can of paint was dumped on her from behind, and her vision flooded in red, both literally and metaphorically. Quickly wiping away the substance from the places where her senses functioned, Rukia whipped around to glare daggers at the laughing man towering above her.

"You forgot that I know flash step too, idiot." Oh, that is it. In less than a millisecond Rukia had flash-stepped to the other side of the room, grabbed the can of blue paint, flash-stepped back, and jumped up to not only pour it all over him, but to slam the can over his head. Being too distracted laughing to notice she was doing anything, Renji had only noticed what she was up to when he felt something hard and metal slam onto his head with a hard force, while at the same time a gooey substance was poured all over him and his vision was blocked by darkness.

"Ow, shit!" he yelled, falling backwards onto his rear and cursing at the pain. Pulling it off his cranium, he shook his head furiously to get the paint off, then returned a glare to the girl who had just been doing the same thing to him a moment ago.

"You should know not to celebrate your victory until the enemy's down for good, fukutaicho, she teased, chuckling at her statement. Growling in anger, Renji jumped up and tackled her to the ground, pinning her wrists above her head and hovering over her.

"Renji, you idiot!" exclaimed Rukia, struggling against his hold, but knowing in the back of her head that he could hold her all day if he wanted to and that his iron grip would hold firm. She growled angrily as he chuckled above her.

But then, Rukia saw a weak spot in his diabolical plan. Grinning evilly, she raised one of her legs up slightly before kneeing him right in the groin. Yelping in pain, he jumped, his tight grip on her wrists loosening considerably, enough that she could throw him off of her. Standing up, the petite shinigami watched him double over on the ground, an air of satisfaction around her at watching him cover his crotch in pain.

"I win." Just as she said this, Renji's anger flared, and though his pain was still receding, he found the strength to reach up, and tug on her arm, taking her by surprise and causing her to practically be thrown on top of him, his firm grip on her waist keeping her still. For the tenth time that day, the tide had turned once again, and Rukia pounded on his chest as they wrestled in the ground, mushing all and any excess paint that their hands could reach in each others faces.

It was at this particular time that one Yachiru Kurdish had been walking by, and had heard shouts and bangs from the room as she passed. Quirking an eyebrow, the small girl opened the door to see that the whole room was a mess. Paint was randomly strewn everywhere, and half-dry; there were even hand prints on the floor and walls, and in the middle of it were the two people that were proclaimed "The oddest couple in soul society."

"Um..." said the small girl, and at the sound of the voice, both shinigami froze in mid-struggle(Renji being on top in this particular go-around), eyes immediately going to the tiny frame in the doorway. Renji was splattered with blue, Rukia with red, however from the wrestling they also both had a considerable amount of purple covering their bodies, and their clothes were disheveled and crinkled. Before either could blurt out an explanation, the small girl spoke up.

"Are you guys trying to make a rainbow baby?"

Renji and Rukia could only stare, embarrassed and dumbfounded, while trying to think of how Yachiru had come up with the term 'rainbow baby.' But even more frightening, both thought, was that Yachiru knew how babies were made.

END

OMAKE

Rukia sat on Renji's futon, picking dried pieces of paint from her hair as he was in the bathroom preparing to get in the shower. Both had resolved to take turns showering at his place so that neither would be seen walking the streets in such a condition. Hell, they had had to bribe Yachiru with candy and sneak around like secret agents just to avoid being discovered.

"Oi, Rukia," Renji called from inside the restroom.

"Yeah?" she asked, continuing to rake her fingers through her hair to get the paint out. Renji's head popped out the door, and he was blushing a little.

"You know...you could join me," he proposed, winking after his statement. Rukia blushed, imagining all kinds of unclean things in her surprisingly perverted mind, and his hair being down at the moment while he wore that sexy smirk of his wasn't helping. She was up and walking before he had to say anymore, and Renji chuckled, knowing that, if he really wanted to, he was just as able to seduce Rukia as she was him.

She would never admit it, though.

END

For me, this is a triumph. I haven't updated this story in at least two months, and I am very proud of myself. Thank you to all who have put up with my ridiculousness, feel free to leave any comments. Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo, not me, and I heart and appreciate all opinions.