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Chapter 15- Raging hormones and whatnot

Dear diary,

Okay, sorry I haven't written in AGES. Our whole area is just covered in snow. Snow snow snow snow snow. It's about 10 inches outside; it's so bad they had to cancel the Hogwarts Express due to the bad weather! I also haven't gotten my results back yet either…Mostly everyone I know is ecstatic about missing a bit of school, but I'm not really that happy.

I haven't seen James in about 2 days. I am having withdrawal symptoms! I SEE HIS FACE EVERYWHERE! He went to his aunties, as did his whole family, for Christmas and were supposed to come back today (it's the 4th January) but obviously that wretched snow isn't going anywhere soon.

I miss James

I. Am. Head. Girl. Well, okay I'm not yet but I will be. S-O-O-N!

I miss my friends

I miss James

I am fed up of Petunia and her oaf of a boyfriend. Seriously. He is so gigantic that he has to sit on 2 chairs together at our table. And still his fat drapes on the sides of the chair. Eeeww.

I miss James

I miss James.

I don't know how long I can last in this hell hole. My dad and mum don't mind the walrus, although my dad does slip occasionally with a remark or joke. But he never listens; he's always doing googly eyes at my horsed-face sister. Woah. I feel mean. AND I LIKE IT! I wish someone gave me the googly eyes. It'd be romantic and I think you know who that someone is.

Love,

Lily x

"Lil-spud?!" I cringe at the name. Trust my dad to think of the most embarrassing nicknames ever.

"I'm going over to check the Potter's house; you do the top floor and I'll do the bottom, okay?!" My head automatically sprung up at the sound of 'Potter's.' I have the WONDEFULL job of looking upstairs… and you know whose bedroom is upstairs right? DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

I practically ran downstairs to my dad and we both made our way to the Potter's. As soon as I opened his door I was overwhelmed by his gorgeous scent. It smelt like… vanilla… cinnamon… cherry and clean linen all at once. I closed my eyes in satisfaction as the scent was almost edible and glanced around the room. It was actually kind of messy, like mine- WE ARE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!- but it still looked so divine. I mean, it's James Potter's room. Whatever it looks like it's still heavenly. He's a size 7 in shoes, he has converse ( I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW!), there were jeans, shirts, socks and books scattered about on the floor and… oh my god.. is that?

HE'S A BOXER GUY!

They are black with like colourful splodges XD AAARRRGGGGHHHH.

"Calm… Lily… breath." I said to myself, but my breath was so rigid as I stared around the room. I know, I must look like some kind of stalker… smelling his shoes and peeking in drawers… BUT THAT'S WHAT WE DO! WE'RE TEENAGERS! Jeeeeez.

His walls were painted a sunshine yellow and right near his bed was a collage of wizard photos, him and the marauders, him and his family, him and more marauders and… I think my heart just stopped.

Me.

I'm in one of them.

Me.

Lily Evans.

In a picture with James Potter.

By his bed.

*FAINTS*

It was sometime this year; Sirius was following Izz around which resulted in me and the marauders being together. The photo Sirius had his arm around a very disgruntled photo Izz who seemed to be also blushing slightly. HA! The photo James waved at me at which I nervously waved back.

The next thing that caught my eye was… his wardrobe. Oh my Merlin. It was like a heaven light was shining down onto it. It was covered in the Red River Ratter's Quidditch team photos and there were a few Gryffindor banners on there as well.

To open or not to open. That is the question…

OH MY GOD! DO IT! DO IT!

But isn't it sorta his privacy?

Naaaa….

I was just about to open the wardrobe when-

"Uh… Lily?" OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD! Hand on his wardrobe door. Body frozen. Caught red-handed. It's him! Oh shi-

"Hi James!" I put on a false smile and turn towards him. There he is. Looking the hottest I have ever seen him. His hair is spiky and tousled and he has a slight smile on his gorgeous lips. If I just keep calm and pretend like he wasn't disturbing me he shouldn't think…

"What you doing?" It wasn't a cautious question; like he knew I was sniffing his underwear and was angry. He wasn't the slightest bit angry. He was smiling… and the way the question came out… he sounded almost humours?!

"Well… my dad and I came to check the house," I fumbled around the room towards him, "and it looks like your room is in… err… great condition!" He looked at me dumbfounded but I just grinned, wanting so badly to just leave the room and never see him again. Of course I wouldn't actually want that…

"So, I'll just… umm. Go." But James was still stood in front of the door and it looked like he wouldn't be moving any time soon.

"You going to move?" I asked unenthusiastically, after a minute's silence. He made a strange raspy noise at the back of his throat and stumbled to the middle of the room.

Right. I can go now. I AM FREE! Damn, my feet are not moving! MOVE FEET! But no. My eyes automatically follow James Potter. Sheeeeesh.

"Damn, why the hell did I leave it so messy?" I paled at his question. He shouldn't be able to notice, should he?!

"Oh my…!" I watched in awe and amusement as he quickly picked up the heavenly black boxers that I had just admired.

"Sorry 'bout that." He grinned sheepishly at me as he stuffed them into the back pocket of his jeans.

Hiding my laughter I shrugged my shoulders. "Na... it's fine. Seriously I don't mind…. NO! I didn't mean it like that!" He gave me a strange smile but I just kept rambling. "I mean I don't mind them but… this isn't coming out right… I err… your boxers can be wherever they go… I…"

I was cut off by his laughter. "Merlin, you crack me up Lil!" He chuckled as I scowled.

"It's not that funny!" I snap.

"You *snort* were just *laugh* 'your boxers can be wherever they go'" He mimicked my frantic voice. I may ruddy well love this guy but you never ever ever make fun of women when they are humiliated! NEVER. And so in a result I threw a cushion at his head and ran for the door.

DAMN! It's locked?

"How did you lock it?!" I gasped in awe. "You.. You can't do magic till we're 17…"

"I know," He gave me a wolfy grin, pocketed his wand, and walked towards me. HEART IS HAMMERING FAST!

James.

Walking.

Towards.

Me.

"Me being the Minister for magic's son gives me those privileges." His face is about 5 cm away from mine. I gulp.

"A privilege you say?" My voice is all croaky but hopefully James won't notice, I said the first thing that came into my head. Anything to break this uncomfortable silence. He was leaning on the door, so I was kind of trapped because he was standing in front of me. Damn hormones. Grrr.

He nodded his head seriously and leaned in towards my hair.

"I am James Potter." He whispered into my ear, I could feel his breath tickling my neck which automatically sent electric vibes all the way through my body. If possible his body pushed mine further into the door. I could see his eyes staring into mine as his left hand caressed my cheek.

Suddenly we heard a 'WHOOOSH!' and I was sent flying back onto the floor with a bang, James on top of me.

"Oh… was I interrupting something?!" Oh god. Rose Potter gave me a small wink as I blushed furiously.

"Mum!" James whines from above me. I've just realised what this may look like…

"Oh God no, Mrs Potter! We were just-"

"Mum, I was just showing her I can do mag-" We stopped and looked at each other as we both blurted out simultaneously

"Uh-hu. Well, I would say go back and do whatever you two were doing," I blushed again whereas James sighed and pulled me up from the floor. "buuut, Sirius is here to see you James."

"Sirius?" James asked with surprise. Rose nodded and exclaimed he was just downstairs. After his mum had gone James turned to me.

"You best stay here Lil-"

"No!" We hear Sirius poddle up the stairs. "I want Lily to be there, I have some explaining to do…" James gave him a sceptical look but nevertheless followed Sirius who was already power walking towards James' room. What explaining?!

"Whoa! Did a bomb hit your room or something?!" Sirius whistled lowly and then barked with laughter as he looked around the room. Ummm. Hmmm, I wonder who did that. *innocent smile*

"What the HELL have you two been up to?!" James' eyes widened and he began to have choking fit as I imagined in my head me and him… well… let's just say I blushed. Again.

"We did nothing like that!" James glared at Sirius who had now made himself comfortable on James' bed. Sirius snorted but then looked at us seriously.

"So what is it?" James asked causally, who noticed Sirius twiddle his fingers in nervousness.

"What is it?!" James asked again, a bit more forceful this time. That's another thing I admire about James; he cares so much about his friends.

"I had another argument with my family." Sirius said hesitantly. That's it? A family argument isn't that much of a big deal… but to James it looked like it was ruddy serious, his skin had turned a pale queasy colour.

"What happened?" James asked hoarsely.

Sirius didn't answer for a few seconds but continued twiddling with his fingers. "I left." He said it simply and with a slight smile. What the hell?!

"You left?" James' eyes widened as he took in his best friends words. Sirius nodded his head, a bit more enthusiastically this time.

"They were talking about that pure-blood sh*t, they're all vulgar and I never want to see them again. I don't care if I get disowned. They can suck on Voldermort's cock for all I care but there is no way in hell I am ever calling them my family." WOOAAAAHH. Steady on! I am so confused? Why was it that James understood everything, why the hell did Sirius say I could come? AND WHAT THE HELL?! Vol…v-v vvvvolder-mmort…?!

"Sirius, are you sure about this? I mean. I am proud and you know my mum would let you stay here in a heartbeat… but… you really want to be disowned? Even if the Black's are a family of two-faced arses… no offence."

Sirius barked with laughter. "None taken. And Pron… uuh I mean James, I don't care about being disowned. You know I'm nothing like them! You knew that the first time we went on the Hogwarts Express!"

James said nothing but nodded slightly with a small smile on his lips.

"I bet you are slightly confuzzled eh Lily?" Sirius chuckled when I nodded my head, unable to speak.

"Well… umm where do I start? Well, I was born into a prestigious pure-blood family who have served Voldermort for generations. But I was the blunt nail of the family. I hate how they treat half-bloods and muggle-borns; I hated how they acted so harshly and then when I became a Gryffindor it was like I had upset the family name… my mother had lost all hope in me by that time, and concentrated on getting my dick of a brother as a death-eater. My dad still tried to… 'Convert' me you might say… but I hate the Black's." He finished with a slight chuckle and made himself more comfortable on James's bed.

"Oh…" I said lamely after a few seconds silence, but no one was able to comment as Rose made another appearance. She came in with 2 pillows, a duvet and a mattress floating behind her.

"You can sleep in James' room, Sirius." She smiled and then settled the stuff on a 'clean' part of James' floor.

"Well, after James has tided his room… what the hell happened in here?" She turned to James and I with a glint in her eye.

"We didn't do anything!" James groaned defiantly as Sirius and Rose Potter started to snigger immaturely.

"Lily," Rose turned to me and I suddenly hated all eyes on me. "Make sure James

always tells you he loves you. And don't let him treat you like dirt!" HAHAHAHA.

"Alright mum, thanks!" James said hastily, pushing his mum out of the room and then shutting it. Leaving us 3 in an uncomfortable silence once again.

"Are you-"

"Lily and I are not going out, Sirius." Ouch. Even if it's the truth… the way James said it so quickly… like he was desperate to show we weren't dating.

Well… what did you expect him to say?!

He could have said it... differently.

And that would've made a difference?

I hated how Sirius and James didn't pretend I was there.

"So, what were you two doing then. It must have been pretty sexy to have a room like this-"

"Sirius, Lily and I? What the hell. It's too sickening for words…" I will not shout… I will not shout… breath Lily. Regain your… whatever it's called-

"So what were you two doing?"

"Nothing." James replied bluntly.

"Then why is it such a mess?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Because you and Lily had sex-"

"BLACK! POTTER!" I yelled. "I HAVE HAD FRIGGING ENOUGH OF THIS!" Their faces were priceless, probably because they had 'forgotten' I was in the same room as them. James was just expressionless; he hadn't even flinched when I thundered at them both. Sirius, however, was cowering behind a pillow.

"So you do admit. You and James had sex-"

"That's bull! Why the hell would I stoop so low as Potter? I'd have more enjoyment with a plate of anchovies." I hate anchovies and from what it looked like, so did J- Potter and Black, since they both shivered just like I did.

"All I was saying Evans was that you and I didn't have s-" But he didn't have time to finish what he was saying, since I furiously threw the first thing that I saw- a torch. It hit him and he dropped to his bed to take cover. I hope it hurt.

"I ruddy hate you James Potter. You too Black." Black's face dropped into a sad face and again Potter was unresponsive. I sighed in frustration and blasted the door open.

"He likes you, Lily." I turned around suddenly and saw Rose Potter standing on the stair-case.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, Rose." I was going to say more, shout more. But Rose placed her hand on my arm reassuringly and gave me that 'mum' look.

"He's just too stubborn to admit it. He'll figure it out eventually. Let him fight for you. Takes after his father in this criteria. A total idiot when it comes to girls." She left me with my just thoughts as she turned away with a chuckle.

Dear Diary,

FINALLY I AM BACK AT HOGWARTS! It took a whole 2 weeks till the snow cleared, but I just stayed in my room; sulking. James actually came a few times but I never left my room. Once he actually knocked on my door (Sirius and Remus were there too) and they threatened they were going to break down the door, but then I threatened I would beat the crap out of them. So they left.

To be honest I'm not even sure why I'm so annoyed with them… I KEEP FALLING FOR THOSE AMAZING POTTER EYES! He's so damn hot! But something tells me not to act all lovey dovey around him… you know, get him to notice me for a change. Good plan?

Love,

Lily x

"Oh god… I haven't revised yet." My stomach churned as I realised I only had 2 precious days until one of the most exams of my life. CRAP!

"Just cram it all in tomorrow, works every time for me." Mari shrugged and plopped herself on the floor. The thing with Mari is that she's already intelligent; she could not revise at all and still come out of the exam with an O. IT'S SO UNFAIR! I HAVE TO WORK MY RUDDY ARSE OFF AND ALL I GET IS AN E?!

Since I was a bit… preoccupied with me getting worried about the upcoming exam I was twisting my bottle so hard that suddenly the lid caught my thumb and-

"ARGH! OH MY MERLIN'S FLIPPING HECK!" My thumb was actually bleeding. IT'S A VIVAN WATER BOTTLE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HURT PEOPLE!

"Aaaawwww. Want James to kiss it better eh?" Leane winked at me.

Eh? "Uumm. No? I was just saying it hurts-"

"You want James to kissy-wissy it better." Alice cooed at me, making that… revolting baby face she does.

"I do not!" I fumed. Why don't they get it? Suddenly I was pulled to a distant but quiet corridor by my lovely friends, note the sarcasm.

"What's up with you and James?" Izz asked me seriously. They were all looking at me curiously; it was so bizarre that I just had to start sniggering.

"What?" I laughed. "There's nothing going on to have something up between us!"

"Yeah right!" Leane whipped out her 'notebook' and read off some weird things which apparently means he like me… "He specifically looks at you when his posse pass. He actually said 'hello' to you today and he smiled but you 'didn't hear him'-"

"I didn't hea-" I protested but I was cut off as Leane continued louder.

"In my opinion he's just playing hard to get, and so you should play the game too."

"Well, I don't talk to him." I said bluntly.

"That's good… WAIT. NO! THAT'S BAD! You need to lead him on!" Since when was Leane an expert on boy bagging? I mean I know she has Matt, but still…

"I mean it's so OBVIOUS he likes you!"

"And don't forget about that time you dropped your folder and he helped you-"

"Yeah, but it was Remus' idea to help me. And then Sirius was like 'oh go and help her James!'-"

"Lily! Don't interrupt!" Alice scolded, she gave me her evil eyes and instantly I shut my mouth. "As I was saying, also there's that time you had obviously burnt that dish in Muggle Studies but he still tasted it and said it was nice. THEN there was that time in 5th year that Dumbledore picked you and him to guide that family around Hogwarts. And if I remember correctly Dumbledore had asked James 'who do you want to be picked with?' and James LOOKED AT YOU! AND SO DUMBLY PICKED YOU!"

"We interrupting something?" We all turned hesitantly to the voice. It was Giles McKinnion, one of Alice's friends. He had his friends Sam and Jake there with him. But we just ignored them and continued.. well they continued whereas I just stood there. Soon, the boys became bored and started playing with something; I was too concerned with the current topic that was being discussed.

"Hey, all of you's turn for a second!" We did as instructed and… WHAM.

I saw a flash and felt a sudden pain on my nose.

"JAKE! I TOLD YOU TO AIM FOR MARIA!" I could hear voices but my eyes were too watery to see anything. I am not crying… it's just the ummm…. You know… sudden shock. And what? They weren't even supposed to hit me? My that's nice isn't it?! I'LL END UP A SPINSTER!

"Lily, are you okay?!" Sam looked at me worriedly and then glanced at my nose. My stomach did the teeniest summersault, I spent about a week crushing on him until I realised he was dating Mary, who is disgusting. Seriously, she is so sporty she could be a man, she probably is….

"I'm fine." I croaked. "Just peachy." And then unexpectedly I couldn't stop laughing. Even though tears were running down my face, wetting my face, I couldn't help it.

"I'MN FINE!" I yelled after everyone had asked if I was ok for about the millionth time.

"Was it you, Sam?" I asked sweetly. Sam gasped and brought a hand to his heart.

"I would never! It was Jake! He threw the pencil!"

"Aaaah, so it was a pencil." I nodded my head, blimey it felt like a cannon ball.

Alice looked at me for a second and then I was crushed as she began to dance with me.

"Alice… what the hell are you doing?" She didn't answer though, just continued doing the box-step.

"Whooah, wait why are you the man? You can't even lead!" I protested. I then looked to my right and it all clicked.

James. Dammnnit, Alice is making me look like a right idiot. She began to swerve into his direction. Oh Merlin… I know what she's trying to do… she was trying to 'accidentally' push me into him causing us to collide or to him to 'magically sweep me off my feet'. And that is not happening.

I did what any normal person would have done. Tickled my abductor. And it worked. She let out a howl but it was loud enough for James to hear and he turned. I could feel my cheeks burning red and I could feel all eyes on me.

"What," I sniffed. "My nose still hurts. Sam."

DON'T BE MAD AT ME PLLLEEEAASSEEE! I know this chapter was insane and not very well written, and I apologise now. I could do with a beta actually. Anyone interested… but I don't really get this beta thing…

But IM SORRY! I have a GCSE exam in like 2 days and I am so freaked :S

And yes the pencil incident did happen to me, I have a cut on my nose! And also the dance thing too. What happened for me to deserve this?!

Preview-

"Why did you tell everyone you like James?"

"I didn't…?" Alice looked at me for a second and then shrugged her shoulders. "Why?" I asked suspiciously; I was dreading the answer…

"Because almost everyone knows."

WHAAAAT?

Review my preeties and I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! Bribery I know but come on! Be a loverly person and help me out ja?

MUCHO THANKIES!

Frog. Bin x