GUTEN TAG!!! I know this chapter was a liiiiccckklllleee bit late... but I'm sorry to say that it will be like that for the next few chapters; I have GCSE's coming up and I don't really plan on failing on them...
I have made my decision that I will write until the end of their lives... but I thought it would be a good idea to have each part of their life on separate stories? So like this story 'It started with a kiss' would be from Lily's 6th and 7th, the next story would have possibly her life outside Hogwarts and then the proposal and wedding and then maybe a 3rd one where it's Harry..? Review and tell me what you think Ja?! :D
Chapter 19- Come right out and say it
SNORE.... . zZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
"Maybe Miss Evans can give us the answer? Since she is so interested in sleeping in my lesson?!"
Someone is nudging me... ignoring... I need....my sleep! The nerve of trying to interrupt my lovely...dream.
"Lily." I heard someone hiss in my ear but I instantly thought it was part of my dream.
"Miss Prewitt, please do something to wake her up!"
The prat named Alice did the only thing that came to mind; she whacked me on the head with a... heavy and painful Ancient Runes book.
I instantly shot up as the book made contact with my head, resulting in a loud "OW!" from me and then lots of 'oooooh's' and 'ooouuuccchhhh' from people around me. Everyone was looking at me and Professor Slughorn was trying to look at me in a stern way.
"Oh my..." I squeaked, trying very hard not to blush. "I am so sorry Professor! It's just that I had done all my work and-"
"I'll let it slide this once Miss Evans," Slughorn nodded. "Since you are one of my top students... you said you had done all the work you say?"
"Yes sir." I said automatically, waving the eighteen sheets of parchment in front of Slughorn's face. Sniggers and gasps were heard throughout the room as Slughorn nodded his head approvingly at my work.
"Well... in that case you could sleep if you want." The fat walrus man grinned once more and resumed back to the lesson... letting me sink further into my seat from sheer embarrassment.
WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP SLEEPING IN LESSONS?!
"Lily... why the hell do you keep sleeping in lessons?" Alice hissed as Slughorn continued to rant on about the effects moonstones can have in potions.
"Believe me, I do not know." I answered flatly; I stifled a yawn as Alice slyly picked up my work and skimmed through it.
"How the hell did you know all of this when you were practically falling asleep?!" I shrugged my shoulders at her question. I guess I'm just gifted at potions.
"You were bloody lucky Lils," Sirius turned around and grinned. "If it had been any other teacher you would have a least lost house points. Sluggie has a crush on you-"
"He does not!" I whispered furiously. "He's married actually."
Sirius chuckled and turned to James who was sitting beside him, I think Sirius had expected James to be laughing too, but James was just staring at the blackboard.
"Prongs?" Sirius whistled and waved his hand in front of James' face. He was about to slap his cheek, something I know Sirius has longed to do ever since James made Sirius dress up in a large gold ball gown when they were wasted some night in Hogsmead.
"Don't. Even. Think. About. It. Sirius." James said nonchalantly, without blinking or looking at Sirius, he moved Sirius' hand away from him and resumed to staring at nothing. Sirius sent me a curious look but too leaned back to the front of the classroom.
Next was History of Magic, which seemed to depress everyone because there is no way you can take notes in Professor Bin's classes. The ghost just seems to drone in a monotone voice about Goblin Wars and an alliance against evil blah blah blah blah.
Groaning, I turned to see what everyone else was doing; Sirius was throwing ink balls at Snape (I was half tempted to join Sirius), Izz was sat next to Sirius and was doodling on her piece of parchment (No doubt 'Mrs Isobel Black'), Remus was actually taking notes- but was finding it hard to concentrate when Sirius, who was also sat next to him, kept missing his target and so therefore the ink pellets kept going over his work. Remus sighed once more as another splodge fell on his work.
"Sirius!" Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and continued throwing the ink, with a crazy grin plastered to his face.
Next to me was some snobby nosed Slytherin who comes from an extremely rich family... Malfoy. We don't talk much now... ever... at all. It used to depress but now I don't really care...
Next to Malfoy was Leane and on my other side was Peter. Everyone else was just staring out of windows, talking in hushed tones to their friends or actually 'trying' to copy what Bins was saying (Me, if you hadn't noticed...)
But whenever my quill began to scratch against the parchment I always seemed to look to my left where James was. He hadn't moved all lesson; his bag was still on his desk- half open and his H.O.M workbooks lay forgotten on top of it. I knew he knew I was looking at him; his body would squirm uncomfortably and his hand rose to his hair. One time his eyes met mine purposefully and the stare he gave me made it quite clear that I was... annoying him of sorts.
James had been acting like this for a couple of weeks now... whenever I had tried to get close to him and ask him what was wrong he would walk away or just ignore me.
I didn't know which was worse... the fact that we had only just become boyfriend and girlfriend made me feel like James' attitude was all my fault. Had I done something to make him sour like this?
The news seemed to buzz around Hogwarts so quickly that even the House Elves knew what was going on. Izz had told me not to disturb James and his thoughts and that I would just simply have to wait until James wanted to tell me what the hell was going on.
Sirius, on the other hand, had suggested I (and I quote-) 'begin to do an exotic dance in front of him in a hula dress' and if that didn't work to 'start reading Pride and Prejudice to him'. If you didn't notice, both suggestions were completely useless- especially the first one. How dancing in a hula dress gets James to start talking to me again is completely beyond me. When I had said this to Sirius he had just winked and whispered 'When you're married you'll see.'
I had given him a repulsed and frightened face but then Remus claimed he was only bluffing with me... however, then he had seemed to whisper to Sirius 'it'll mortify her... let her find out on their honeymoon.'
Wanting to laugh but also retch I moved casually out of their conversation and concentrated in taking notes the rest of the lesson.
The lesson seemed to drag on but soon enough I was making my way to the Great Hall for foooood.
"Hey, Sirius. Are you and James joining us?" I asked hopefully as he passed us, James by his side with the same expressionless facial expression.
"No Lils, James wanted there to be a practice. We should be back in about 2 hour's kay?"
No it wasn't okay. How the ruuuuudy hell is it okay that my boyfriend is PURPOSEFULLY not talking to me?! Of course I didn't say that out loud... but I said it in my head and that seemed to make me feel better. My response was just a slight nod and then I resumed back to filling my body with nutrients.
Dear Diary,
The days are getting longer and the sun is FINALLY getting hotter; some idiot slag in 3rd year Ravenclaw was sunbathing all day yesterday... she didn't realise she'd be as red as my hair! The idiot.
You'd think that because we've done our exams for 6th year the Professor's would give us some space... but NOOOOO. We have to complete coursework and' revise until parchment comes out of our arses' as Sirius would say it...
At least I'm getting more intelligent otherwise I wouldn't be able to understand anything going on! :)
However, lately James' become a bit... distant... towards everyone, even the Marauders and I. I think it's something to do with his dad; he's still not been found...
Speaking of James... he had left for Quidditch Practice 4 hours ago... I've seen Matt and I've seen Mitch and Sirius. So where the hell is James?!
Love Lily x
I glanced over at the clock. 10.45 pm. James had been gone now for 4 hours and 30 minutes. I know I needn't know where he is every minute and second of every single day... but I can be worried right?!
I was just staring at my transfiguration book, completely zoned out, until I heard someone say my name. My eyes travelled to 3 of the marauders.
"Lily... we need you to get James." Remus sighed, pulling me up from my comfy chair.
"Well... where is he?" I replied bluntly.
"He's at the Quidditch field... we've all tried to get him. But he just won't listen. I think it's something to do with his dad." Sirius moaned.
"After Quidditch Practice, which was alright because he was actually talking, he just didn't say anything and just sat down at the steps... I told him to come in but he just rolled his eyes and refused to say anything. Then I got and Remus an-"
"Woooaaaah. What makes you think I'll be able to get him if you guys have already tried?!" I mean... this is JAMES POTTER we're talking about here... not some bloke who listens to everyone.
"Lily... he listens to you better than anyone." Remus sighed.
"Fine." I bit my lip and was about to leave the common room when I stopped and ran back to them.
"Wait... what am I supposed to say?!" I wailed helplessly.
"DON'T let him drink any fire whisky." Peter pondered.
"DON'T lead him up to the Astronomy tower... and don't have sex with him for at least 3 hours-"
"SIRIUS!" I blushed furiously and whacked him with my book. "This is serious... he's not like... really depressed is he...?!"
Remus shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not one to know much about James' emotional issues BUT... he seemed down.... SO GET GOING LILY!"
All 3 of them gave me a push and relentlessly I gathered all my courage to go to the Quidditch fields.
There he was, sitting on the steps which you climb up to get to the stadium with a snitch in his right hand; occasionally he would let go of the golden snitch and let it flutter away, his hand just stretching to retrieve it once again.
He showed no emotion, even when I sat down next to him. I felt his body tense beside me as a hand went up to ruffle his hair.
His Hogwarts cloak was abandoned on the floor and his Gryffindor tie was wrung loosely around his neck, I wondered if he was cold- since the usual summer breeze was gone- a cold northern wind had took its place and insisted on having the day windy with a chilly nib.
"What is it Lily?" He asked after a minute of silence. His voice was soft considering he was giving me evils. Ouch.
"People are worried about you." I replied, edging closer to him. He snorted and failed to meet my gaze as he rolled his eyes.
"You've been gone for 4 hours James... people had thought-"
"People had thought what?!" James blurted out with his famous eye rolling expression, once again.
"That... that something had... happened." I said meekly, a bit taken back when I saw James was smiling slightly.
"Lily... my dad has been hostage and my mother is unstable.... above that, those F**KING death eaters are torturing my father and since he's Minister then he knows about the secret wea... and... and if he doesn't say anything then they'll just come after my mother... and then me-"
"James-"
"I'm fine." He demanded forcefully. "Just a bit worried." He muttered.
"Hey... it's fine to be worried." I couldn't understand James. Why was he angry at himself for being worried?
"Worrying is just a sign of weakness..."
"You, James Potter, are NOT weak." I took hold of his hand. "Jeeez. What am I going to do now? You're usually the one with the words of wisdom!"
I grinned to myself when James smiled slightly again, I could tell he was trying so hard not to smile but in the end he lost- his once gloomy face was now replaced by a smile, THE smile- the smile that always made my heart flutter.
He didn't say anything as he pulled me into a hug but I could hear him breathing heavily and it took me only a second to realise... he was crying.
I had never seen him cry... and now here he was, in my arms. I had always thought James to be the kind who never really showed any emotion whatsoever.
"Why the hell am I crying?!" His outburst shocked me a little as he pulled away from the hug.
"He was right..." He mumbled to himself. "I'm... weak." He collapsed back onto the stairs.
"Stop saying you're weak!"
"I can't Lily! I..." His once saddened face suddenly brightened into a slight smirk. "So that's what he wants." He whispered.
"James...?" I was bursting with curiosity.
"I swear Lily, I swear... I am going to fight with Voldermort at least 3 times before I die-"
"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!" I shouted, hoping that it would knock some sense back into him. He didn't cower when I raised my voice nor did his body language change.
"Lily... I'm going to die someday anyway... whether I like it or not. I can't be weak!"
"So that's it?! You just don't want to be weak? What weakness got to do with this? And how the hell does fighting V... volderm-mort make you stronger?!"
"BECAUSE IT DOES!" He yelled, anger flashing in his eyes.
I nodded my head but said nothing- there was no point trying to talk to him when he was all worked up. My stomach did a funny jolt as I realised this was like the first 'argument' we had had as a couple...
He cleared his throat, a sure sign that he wanted to speak. "I don't expect you to understand it... my father is... he- he's a hostage... and Voldermort that %^£*ING BAST-" James swore furiously as he kicked the side of the steps. Only stopping when a sickening click was heard. Without saying anything he took out his wand and muttered a healing spell on his foot.
"I'm going in." He declared, already walking hurriedly off to Hogwarts.
"EBANS!" I heard Sirius yell as I entered the Gryffindor common room.
"Jolly good show mate! How the hell did you persuade him to come in?!" Remus must have noticed my angry face because instantly Remus told him to shush.
"Oh.." Sirius said after a second. "He did have his angry face... but, to be honest, he's been like that ever since the encounter with Voldermort."
"WHAT?!" I shrieked, causing some startled first years to run out of the common room. "Vol..dermort and.... and James...?!"
Sirius nodded his head. "You know when Hogsmead was attacked? Yeah well... James had to go home to see his mum... and Voldermort turned up. The sneaky bastar* tortured his mum right in front of him and then told James that he was weak and that if he wasn't careful he'd end up like his dad..."
"No." I breathed. "No effin' way!"
Peter gave me a startled look. "James never told you?!"
What the hell is everyone going to think?! My boyfriend never told me that he and his mum had been attacked...?! What does that mean? That he doesn't trust me? That he likes to keep me in the dark when I could try and help him?!
"I'm sure he meant to tell you Ebs..." Sirius patted my shoulder awkwardly. "Maybe he was just looking for the right time to say it-"
"When did you guys find out?" I asked, in a way I already knew the answer; of course James would have told them straight away.
"Aaaw. Lily. It's fine... I bet he's just on his man-period or something-"
"Sirius, since when did men have periods?" Remus laughed, I knew they were trying to lift up the moody atmosphere, and it was working... sort of.
"Since forever. Men have always had periods... I admit it-"
"Dear merlin Sirius!" Izz giggled, she had just entered the common room and so without a doubt had heard Sirius screaming about men having 'man-periods'.
"Hello to you too." Sirius pretended to sulk but then smiled as Izz rolled her eyes and gave Sirius a kiss.
"Ew. Guys, get a room." Peter scoffed.
"Maybe we should eh?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows at Izz.
"Maybe we shouldn't." She grinned, pushing at Sirius' chest. She suddenly met my eyes and I was about to look away quickly when she noticed my depressed aura. "Lily... you okay?"
I said something which has not yet been discovered in the English language, Izz nodded, as if she understood everything perfectly. And I wouldn't have been surprised if she had understood, since I generally talk in this made-up language anyways.
"Sorry...? What was that?" Sirius asked with a dumbfounded expression. Remus and Peter were also looking at me like I was an alien.
"Smerrrrslofen!" I said grumpily.
"She wants you all to stop looking at her like she's retarded." Izz said without a moment's hesitation.
"Well... that might be a bit impossible."
"SIRIUS!"
"Oh my... she speaks!" Sirius pretended to faint and flapped his hand near his face.
"Give over." I rolled my eyes and just watched amused as Sirius fell to the floor mumbling 'I am not worthy' to my feet.
Suddenly we saw Jame emerge from the boy's dormitories- he paused- letting his eyes fall onto us and then with caution he made his way slowly towards us.
"Lily... please be nice to him." Sirius muttered. I nodded silently, but inside I was fuming.
What the ruddy hell was up with James lately?! I mean.. I understand that he's got issues about you-know-who and his family... but instead of bottling it up he SHOULD have come to us!
"You finally show up now eh?!" Sirius said coldly to James when he stood nervously next to my armchair (I hadn't looked at him, I could hear his rigid breath).
"Yeah.. um... look. I'm... I'm really sorry about how I've been lately; its just that Voldermort had made me feel isolated... and I had to fight the agonising feeling of... excruciating pain." He shuffled his feet as his 'explanation' came to an end.
"You shouldn't apologise to us," Izz said instantly, "It's Lils you really need to apologise to... you have no idea how worried she has been- and whenever she tried to confront you she was just pushed to the sides. She's your girlfriend; people have been thinking that you had some argument... but face it- you've NEVER acted like her boyfriend have you?! You just-"
"That's enough Izz." Sirius said quietly. James was still stood in the same position and it surprised me that he had actually listened to Izz's lecture.
"No Pads... I agree with Izz," At this, James walked in front of my chair so I had no choice but to look into his soft, pleading, hazel eyes.
"Lily... I am extremely sorry for the way I have acted... I wasn't myself... I was trying so hard to fight in... But I am so grateful that you tried to talk with me.. You brought me back to reality." After saying this he knelt in front of me and for one second I freaked because I thought he was going to propose to me...
"I know I haven't been there for you and with you... and I understand how I've not been the greatest boyfriend... and so therefore, I would completely understand if you wanted to end our relation-"
"What the HELL?!" I seethed through my teeth and let out a groan as I stood to my feet.
"NO!" He shrieked me back gently to the chair. "I'm just saying that I completely understand if you're angry with me... of course I don't want to ruddy break up with you! I've been an absolute PRAT these last few weeks... And I want to... no- I NEED to make it up to you."
He grabbed my face gently with his hand and stroked my cheek. I was speechless... did he-
"Yes Lily... I really meant it." He said quietly.
How did he do that?!
"I can read your face well." He cleared his throat. "So.. do you want to... I mean- still be 'us'?!" He lowered his gaze to his feet but I could still make out the incredible blush which was making its way onto his cheeks.
I didn't need time to think, automatically I screamed 'YES!' and jumped up, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.
He chuckled but hugged me back closely, his hands were firmly around my waist and it felt so good... so right that we were both together.. And at once I felt that giddy feeling in my stomach... the joy and happiness which James always made me feel.
"So, starting from now you are my REAL girlfriend. At the next Hogsmead trip I would be honoured if you were my date."
"Of course." I said firmly.
"Woaah Jamsie!" Sirius declared with a low whistle. "That was... I'm almost crying because of how heart-warming and lovey-dovey that sounded!"
"Only the best for my Lily." James stuck his tongue out at Sirius and brought a hand round my shoulder protectively.
My heart began to pump faster and faster... like it was on a merry-go-round!
'My Lily' !
"Save the sicky stuff for when you two are aloneeeee please!" Sirius pretended to retch which made Remus roll his eyes (a trait he had obviously gotten off James), Peter chuckle and Izz to whack Sirius on the head.
"You know Lils... maybe we should go somewhere more... private." James waggled his eyebrows suggestively at me and then whispered in a husky voice 'my room, 11pm.' I felt one hand lower to my thigh whilst the other stayed firmly around my waist. But I knew that James was only playing... he knew how embarrassed I always got and I blushed as I realised that James remembered how uncomfortable I was when people touched me... he had only lowered his hand the slightest bit... but it still made me squirm in excitement.
"Give over!" I giggled, pushing him slightly.
"What?!" He asked innocently with a gleam in his eyes. "I was being serious!"
"Sure you were." Sirius grunted in response, but silenced himself when Izz threw herself on him and they both began a make-out session on the couch... right in front of us.
"And they told us to get a room!" James shook his head and covered his eyes.
There you go. Now... I am sure you are wondering why I made them have an argument on the first chapter together as a couple? Well... it shows that even the most perfect couple together has problems... and also it WAS supposed to fore-shadow their future; meaning they will be very happy together! :)
I am so sorry if there were any mistakes and I'm sorry it wasn't such a great chapter /:
NEXT CHAPTER:
EXPECT FLUFF
EXPECT HUMILIATION
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
PLEASE REVIEW!
Love, Frog. Bin xx