I KNOW I HAVENT UPDATED IN LIKE AGES. Oops? Well obviously firstly because of nasty GCSE's and secondly I've been having a biiiit of writers block.
DISCLAIMER- JKR is my hero.
Chapter 23- My awesome matchmaking skills
At this precise moment in time I am in the toilets. No I am not sick. Although I would prefer to be ill rather than my current predicament. I will never come out alive. I have been humiliated in front of everyone. EVERYONE I TELL YOU! Sigh. I think I should tell you rather than me just humiliating myself even more.
My mother sent me a howler. Uh-hu. But not just a normal 'I AM SO DISSAPOINTED IN YOU!' howler... oh no... much worse...
*Approximately 10 minutes ago*
"Merlin, I wish I was a house-elf." Leane sighed, picking at the food by our seats. Mari raised an eyebrow as she sipped her morning pumpkin juice. "Why? They love to work... and you Leane McNar can't even work on an essay for more than 5 minutes before talking to your precious Matty." Matt let out a mock gasp and threw some toast at Mari.
Leane rolled her eyes and turned to me. "Lily will understand..." She gave me the 'please back me up' look. I groaned. Those eyes. Her darn puppy eyes.
"Well... A house-elf in Hogwarts would be pretty cool I guess... but not with some snotty pure-blood family. No offence Sirius, Izz, James, Rosella, Leane and Remus... oh! And you too Pete." They all murmured 'none taken' at the same time. But before anyone else could speak the post came.
You can always tell when the post is coming- not just the distinct smell of owl droppings or the squaws of the owls or the loud noise of their wings flapping. They always come prompt at 9 sharp. Good owls!
My eyes widened as I saw Tawny holding a letter. That's odd. I hardly ever get letters apart from my pen-friend or witch weekly or the daily prophet.
"Is that a LETTER?" Alice gasped, staring at Tawny as he glided over to me.
"Worse... it's a... a HOWLER?" My eyes widened at Mari who had just leaned over to Tawny. A howler? Who the hell would send me a howler?
"If we make a run right now it should explode out of the great-hall..." Izz whispered, staring at the howler without blinking.
"Good thinking," I said hesitantly. I love my friends; they were planning on running out with me... so nice. "On three... one... two... TH-"
"LILY! HOW IS MY DARLING LILY FLOWER? I HOPE YOU'RE SMASHING! I SENT THIS HOWLER BECA-"
MUM? HOW THE MERLIN'S LEFT TOE DID MY MUM KNOW HOW TO SEND A HOWLER?
Mortified, I tried to silence the howler by drowning it in pumpkin juice. James and the other pureblood friends I have gasped as I did this.
"Lily! That makes it angry and then it starts to scream..."
"I HAVE FOUND YOU THE MOST PERFECT MATCH SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SULKING ABOUT JAMES POTTER ANYMORE."
I counted to 10 in my head... v-e-r-y-s-l-o-w-l-y. James seemed to turn a bit red as the students (and teachers) in the Great Hall turned to us at once.
"HE'S CALLED SVEN AND IS SWEEDISH. HE'S COMING ROUND OVER CHRISTMAS AND I HAVE INVITED THE POTTERS AND THE FRENCH MINISTER, MONSIEUR DEBRAU. IT WILL BE LOVELY! OH! AND SVEN LIKES PINK... I SENT A DRESS WITH THIS AS WELL. SEE YOU TOMORROW!" The voice stopped and then the howler began to shred into pieces. The great hall was silent but then gradually people began to laugh. At first I thought it was just because of the howler but then James pointed behind me... the most disgusting pink frilly dress was hovering behind me.
I could hear the shrieks and the 'ahahhaa. MUDBLOOD!' from the Slytherin table, the gasps at how the dress was disgusting from the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables... the Gryffindor table were just giggling slightly- obviously they knew how much it was hurting.
Unable to control myself I ran out of the Great Hall... but the dress followed me. How the hell did my mum do magic like that?
*Now*
So there you go... I can never come out again. I will just die in this toilet and then become a ghost like moaning myrtle but instead I'll be wearing this pink frilly dress forever... My mum also sent me a picture of Sven. He's extremely tall... with some long blonde hair that goes up to his shoulders, some blue eyes (but they're mostly covered by the hair) and a very large nose... it could give Snape a run for his money...
"Lily?" Just be silent. No one will ever know you're here. "Lily. We know you're in there." Crap. Okay... just go out there and be cool. Cool and collected.
Apprehensively I unlocked my cubicle door and trotted out of the girls toilets. Everyone was looking at me anxiously.
Luckily Sirius decided to stop the silence with "Where's the dress." He had sort of said it in a laughy way but after Remus gave him hard slap across the head Sirius' smile went away as he mumbled 'sorry'.
With a weak smile I answered his question. "Flushed it down the toilet."
They giggled. Even James! And Rosella!
"It's not funny!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air. Unfortunately for me the picture of 'Sven' came out from my cloak. Daaamn. I knew I should have flushed that with the dress!
"This is Sven?" Sirius howled with laughter after he snatched it off Izz. "He looks... lovely!" He chuckled and then passed it to James who instantly began to choke on... I think it was still some breakfast... ew.
"He's HIDEOUS!"
Alice glared at the guys and then patted my shoulder. "Lils... you're meeting this guy tomorrow... what're you going to do?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Go with it... and then marry this creep and be living on some farm with some goats and pigs." This just made the male friends of mine snigger even more.
"Or... you could tell you're mum you already have someone?" Mari said.
"Yeah! I could be like your sort of boyfriend and-" Charlie said with a snigger but stopped when he saw my glare.
"You know... that's actually not a bad idea." I grinned.
Dear diary,
So... the plan is set... When my mum and Mrs Potter come to meet us at the station I announce I have a boyfriend (Charlie) and hopefully Mum should invite Charlie to the dinner as well. Then at dinner Roselle's father suddenly sees how lovely and charming Charlie is, breaks off the engagement and WALLAH! Everyone is happy. Especially meeee. Because then that means James and I can go back together, course no one else knows about that part of the plan. Ahem.
The train is stopping. WISH ME LUCK!
Love Lily x
"Lily... there they are." I broke out of my daze when James nudged me, pointing over to both my mum and his. James, Roselle, Sirius, Charlie and I walked over to them.
"Lily! There you are! Now- Sven is waiting at the Potter's-"
"Mum... I have a boyfriend." Hastily I pulled Charlie next to me. Yikes. I just noticed how Roselle must be feeling... I'll have to talk to her sometime.
"H-hi Mrs Evans." Charlie gave a nervous smile as my mum seemed to glare at him. After about a minute's silence my mum sighed.
"Well... I guess he," She gave a nod to Charlie, "will have to come to this dinner... but Lily... your father, and Harold and Monsieur Debrau all thought Sven was a wonderful match for you!" HOW THE HELL CAN THEY JUST CHOOSE WHO I GET TO BE WITH? Now I know how James feels. Heh.
My mum just rolls her eyes at my grumpy face. "Come on... Sven is waiting. After you see him you'll just fall straight for him."
"Yeah... fall straight into a ditch." Sirius sniggered. I growled under my breath as we all apparated to the Potter's.
"AHA! SO THIS MUST BE LILY!" Not 5 seconds into the Potter Mansion and I was attacked by some gangly blonde dude. He stared at me in admiration.
"MY NAME'S SVEN!"
"Sven... dear. 'emember... speaks zin 'ushed tonez. Sven, 'ushed tonez." The French minister, Monsieur Debrau, chuckled and patted Sven on the back. His gaze stopped at Charlie, who instantly paled. "And, oooo' is this?"
"Uh... My name's Charl- Charles and I'm... I'mLily'sboyfriend." To my surprise no one went into a paddy about it... they all seemed to chuckle.
"Tooo' ze Dining 'all!"
"Lils... I am so freaked out... maybe this wasn't a good idea." Charlie murmured next to me... I was unable to reply as the Potter's house elf gave us a seating plan.
Great. It went Charlie, My dad, my mum, Mrs Potter, Mr Potter, Monsieur Debrau, James, Roselle, Me, Sven and Sirius.
As soon as food appeared on the table Sven talked non-stop at how he would make my life 'blissful' and 'romantic'. Ew. Poor Charlie was finding it difficult to budge in from time to time with a good comeback at how to treat me. Luckily for us Monsieur Debrau was staring at Charlie carefully... pondering... HOPEFULLY PONDERING THAT CHARLIE IS GOOD FOR ROSELLE!
Oh. My. God. Sven's hand has just gone onto my leg. I let out a traumatised gasp but everyone was so busy listening to Sven that no one heard.
"Um... can I just say?" Charlie said in a quiet voice. Sven fell quiet and so did everyone else. Charlie coughed nervously.
"Although I do agree with Mr Sven here about how he would give Lily anything she desires I think he left out the most important thing." When no one still said anything Charlie continued. "Err... I-I think the most important thing would be to respect and love Lily, not just showing love by what you can get her... but by what you have already." He finished in a murmur, worried that he sounded like a dork. I think it was sweet. And so did Monsieur Debrau.
"Zhere is something about yoou Monsieur Charlez..." Me, Sirius, James, Charlie and Roselle looked at him with eagerness. "Butz I am not zsure 'hat it is... bon appétit!" And with that he tucked into his dessert- crème brûlée. Poor Roselle seemed on the verge of tears... that seemed to make Charlie more adamant then ever.
"So, James... aren't we lucky to have such beautiful and mature women. I know I am so blessed to be able to call Lily mine."
James choked slightly on his wine and cleared his throat.
"Um... yeah. Sure I am." The whole plan was to not just make Monsieur Debrau see that Charlie was good for Roselle, but to also show that James and Roselle don't match.
Debrau just smiled. "Monsieur Charlez... a zsuch zcharming monsieur as yourself zshould 'e zaiming 'a lot 'igher zthan Lil-ly." I cannot believe he just said that! HE JUST PRACTICALLY INSULTED ME! My mum and dad weren't listening to a word Debrau was saying anyways- they were staring in amazement at the House Elves. Roselle seemed embarrassed about what her father was saying, but you could tell she was excited about what her father was going to say next. Charlie was just looking at the French minister in admiration and expectation.
"I zthink 'it would be bett-er if 'oou zwere 'to go zwith my daughter... zwe obviously wouldn't make it officzial b'ut we could 'get 'oou to know zeach zother." Debrau chuckled as we all sighed in relief. "Monsieur Charlez... I zwould bee delight-ed if 'ou met my zother daught-er... Flora!"
Silence.
WHAT?
OTHER DAUGHTER? WHY NOT DAMN ROSELLE?
Debrau seemed to notice our sullen faces. "Zwhat zis 'it?" And before you could say my-life-is-either-going-to-end-or-it's-just-beginning Roselle was up on her feet.
"PAPA! I cannot ztake 'it zanymore! I do not love 'ames!" She cried, holding onto her father's arm desperately.
Debrau nodded in understanding. "I zknow 'ou do not love 'im yet, zthat's zwhy ze engagement 'is being 'eld zin a yearz ztime-"
"Non! I 'love zsomeone else! I love 'Charlie!"
Debrau was silent. "'who?" He asked in confusion. With a sigh Roselle pointed to Charlie whilst Charlie raised his hand.
"Zbut 'e iz Lil-ey's zboyfriend-"
"Um... je suis desole Monsieur, but that was only a... con?" I shivered at Charlie's poorly chosen words. Ops.
"Excuse moi?" Debrau asked carefully, but you could not miss the slight anger in his voice.
Charlie's voice quivered again. "I love your daughter Monsieur Debrau... now, I may not be a Potter... but I can give everything I have to her..."
"Papa... zeven 'if 'you zsay non I zwill zstill 'go zwith 'Charlie. I zjust zwant your blessing." Debrau looked at his daughter carefully for the first time that night.
"Zyou really 'love zthis man zthat much?" Roselle nodded her head at once and grabbed her father's hand. It was those darn puppy eyes. Not even a cold hearted French Minister could say no to those eyes.
Debrau sighed and smiled slightly. DEFEAT! "Zokay, 'ou zwill 'ave my zblessings." Everyone at the table sighed with relief again.
"AND I HAVE LILY! WASS A WONDERBAR DAY!" Sven yelled happily, grabbing my hand and yelling down my ear. Ouch.
"Uh..." I hastily glanced at James. Should I now announce my love for James? He looked at me with hesitation- warning in his eyes.
Again my karma is just terrible as Debrau seemed to notice this eye-to-eye conversation. For such a tiny man he yelled a lot. Most of the time I couldn't understand a word he was saying as he was yelling all sorts of profanities in French and gibberish. It was only until Roselle screamed that she was the one who had broken the engagement first that I finally understood.
"Zeven if you did, 'ames zknew zthat ze engagement zwould zbring both Zenglish and Zfrench togetzher. ZBUT 'E ZIGNORED ME ZANYWAYS. ZE BOND IS ZNOW BROKEN."
Crap. Not only do I become very humiliated in front of everyone here... but it's me who breaks the bond between the English and French?
"Well... what if Roselle got engaged to Charlie?" All the yelling and stuff stopped as those words escaped from my mouth. Debrau raised an eyebrow at me and then walked steadily to Charlie. Poor guy. Debrau was breathing very heavily and there was a bright purple vein that was almost ready to burst by his nose. Ew.
"Zare you zroyalty?"
"No..." Charlie squeaked.
"Zdo you happen 'to be 'ames' zrelative?"
Charlie opened his mouth, ready to say something, but then closed it again. He seemed to be thinking hard.
"Wait a minute... you are!" James gasped, pointing at Charlie with a happy smile. "He's like my 5th cousin from my father's side!"
Debrau was silent again for a second and then sighed, finally accepting the fact that Roselle would never get paired with James.
He got up from his chair once again and nodded at Mr and Mrs Potter, they were practically pale with fear at the thought of the bond being broken, and my parents who did not really understand what was going on. He then stopped at James and I. He noticed our hands were entwined and gave a little grunt.
"If I 'ear zanything zabout zeither 'ou and Lil-ey zor zmine daught-er et Charlez I zwill be back."
"WAIT, WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE THEN?" Blimey, I had forgotten about Sven for a minute there. And judging by the way everyone jumped when his voice seemed to call out so did everyone else. Debrau looked at Sven for a second before telling Sven that he would take him home. And with a flick of his wand they disappeared.
"Roselle! He- your dad... he... he left you!" Charlie gasped in surprise, pointing to where Debrau had stood only seconds ago.
Roselle nodded her head and giggled. "He 'as let me zstay!" At once Charlie enveloped her into a giant bear-hug.
"Well... as exhilarating as this was- we have to get ready for Christmas!" My dad chuckled, shaking hands with the Potters. I turned to James with a steady smile.
"So..." He said with a grin. "Am I going to be seeing you any time this Christmas Holiday?"
"NO JAMES! I WILL KEEP YOU HERE WITH ME!" Sirius squealed, pulling James into a headlock and messing up his hair with a fist. James seemed to wail at the thought of his hair being tamed and slapped Sirius on the head in return.
"Course I'll see you sometime. Does that mean you want to see me?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows in James' direction, Sirius pretended to retch.
"Of course I want to see you, who else will keep me sane when Sirius will annoy me to death? No! I neeeeed you Lily!" James stopped for a second and then looked at me seriously. "Just in case- you're not engaged or betrothed or have some sort of boyfriend do you?
"Well... I do have this sort of boyfriend. We had to kind of break it off though because he got engaged! I mean... pfftt-" Before I could say anymore James cut me off- he brought his lips over mine and caught me into a sweet and innocent kiss. All the tingles and butterflies suddenly swooped back over me. I hadn't felt this amazing since... since ever to be honest.
"Lily... I love you!" Sirius cried dramatically once James and I broke apart.
"You know what Sirius... now you're not getting a Christmas present." I said coolly, enjoying every moment of seeing Sirius gasp and fall to his knees yelling 'No! My sweet Lily! You have to get me a present! I BEG YOU!'
With one last kiss from James and one last beg from Sirius and a hug from both Mr and Mrs Potter me and my parents left for our own house.
You know, I have a feeling that this year will be AWESOME!
Yikes. Okay. This chapter wasn't one of my best. But please don't make that stop you reviewing! You guys were a biiit late in the last chapter. Even if it's constructive criticism or any criticism at all... or if there's something you want to happen. Let me know.
Sorry for any mistakes.
Frog. Bin x