Twilight

Pairing: Jasper/Bella

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Summary: Here's the recipe. Make sure to add the following.

1, An arranged marriage.

2.A playboy husband.

3.A badass wife.

4. Perverted best friends.

5.A nosy sister.

6.A psycho ex-girlfriend.

7. Bitchy parents.

Now, what do you get?—You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know what you get. This willnotend well.

Chapter 2

We finally arrived at my house. The gate opened, and I turned back to Ed and Em.

"Let's go through the back, so my mom doesn't see me." We sneaked through the back. We were walking by the pool and I was aware that Ed and Em were whispering behind me. Suddenly, Edward grabbed his hoodie and my phone, and Emmett pushed me into the pool. I fell in, making a big splash. I resurfaced, sputtering and glaring at them. They were both laughing their asses off. I got out of the pool, intent on killing them, but they started running. They ran around the whole house, stopping at the front door, opening the door quickly and going in. I pushed open the door, it made a large bang as it hit the wall.

"I will kill you both you fucktards! Where are you?" I shouted, loud enough that I was pretty sure China heard me. I walked into the living room, where my parents were seated. They looked pretty surprised.

"Bella, dear, what happened?" My mom asked in a motherly tone.

"Edward and Emmett pushed me in the pool!" I replied, wringing my tank out. It rode up a little. My army pants were drooping, showing off my boyshorts a little. I was dripping wet.

"Well, why don't you go upstairs and change, honey? Then we can introduce you to our guests," Renee said, pointing to some people on the couch opposite theirs. I was too lazy and angry to look.

"Yeah, whatever." I replied, going upstairs, on the lookout for those jerks.

I headed up the stairs, keeping an eye out for the assholes. Gosh, I can't believe I said all those nice things about them earlier. I take them back! I grabbed my keys out of my (soaking wet!) army pants, inserting them in the key hole thingy and opening the door, locking it behind me. No way were those assholes coming in here.

I was taking off my pants, cringing when it stuck to my skin, when my phone buzzed with a text. I walked over and slid it open, noticing it was from my mom. I marvelled at the fact that my mom knew how to text.

Wear something nice. And hurry up, already.

Well, okay then. I pried off my tank top and bra, and underwear. I was now completely naked. Just how I liked it. Yeah…

I walked into my closet, going over to the 'Impress people' side. I picked out some nice dark distressed skinny jeans, and black boy shorts. I put them both on, hurriedly, because the faster I went down there, the faster the guests were going to leave.

I also picked out a dark tank top, that said 'Do I look like a fucking people person?' In big white letters. I smiled. It was one of my favorite shirts. I put on a dark bra and then the shirt. I walked out of my closet, picking up my black combat boots on the way. I put them on quickly. My phone buzzed again.

If you don't come down in the next 5 minutes, I'm coming up there.

My stomach growled quietly. I went into the bathroom, putting on heavy dark eyeliner. I walked out of the bathroom, and my room. I was just locking the door, when I heard a scuffling sound from Emmett's room. I froze immediately, and just listened. I heard the scuffling sound again. I smirked as an idea came to my head. I sighed heavily, and walked over to the stairs, loudly. I then stood in place, stomping my feet louder at first, then quieter, so it seemed as if I was walking down the stairs.

Then, I hid behind a little table that was in the hallway, that was just for show. I tried to hold my breath, as the door opened and out walked the assholes. They walked quietly to the top of the stairs, stopping just before the first step. I quietly got on my hands and knees, crawling slowly to them.

"You think she's gonna try to get us back?" Emmett whispered.

"She wouldn't be Bella if she didn't." Edward responded just as quietly. Em snorted and nodded.

"Okay, we have to sneak out of here." Em said, stating the obvious.

"Well, duh! We can go out through the kitchen door." Edward was already plotting. I was now right behind them. I thanked my lucky stars that neither of them turned around suddenly. I got up off the floor, quietly dusting my hands off on my jeans.

"No, because, the kitchen door slams hard, you know that." Emmett told Edward. I reached forward, grabbing each of their underpants. They both let out a girlie squeak, before freezing up in fright.

"And that would've been a very great plan to sneak out, boys… If I weren't right behind you." With that said, I heaved my hands up as high as they could go. Ed and Em both let out great cries of surprise—and pain (I'm sure)—while I cackled maniacally behind them. Then my mom appeared at the foot of the stairs, looking surprised. She glared when she saw what I was doing. I shrugged innocently and let go. Both of them slumped to the ground. I stepped around them and began walking down the stairs. I smirked as I descended the stairs. My mom frowned at me. I could hear Ed and Em scrambling around and walking down the stairs.

They walked over to me and sat down on either side of me on the couch. I kept my eyes on my lap. I didn't want to look up and see my mom giving me the stink eye. Someone coughed.

"Don't worry, I'm okay." Em told me. I rolled my eyes, putting my feet up on the table.

"Speak for yourself, I can't feel my balls, man!" Edward wailed. Em and I snickered to ourselves. Then my mom was in front of us with two frozen bags of peas. She handed one to Em and the other to Ed. I laughed at the sigh that Edward made when he put the peas in his lap.

"Thanks, Mom. You know Bella gives wicked wedgies." Em told my mom. I laughed quietly and looked up, stopping when my mom glared at me. Then she moved to the side, and I finally saw them, the guests.

There was a blonde man, who was very tall. I'm guessing he was the father. He had light brown eyes, that sparkled. His lips were full and he was very, very, very, handsome. Next to him was a short woman with blonde hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. She was around my mom's height, and was bouncing in the seat. I could already tell that my mom and her were going to get along fabulously. Seated next to the woman was a short girl, with brown hair and brown eyes. She was glaring at me. I had no idea why. Eh, whatever. Next to the glaring girl was a freakin' model. Her blonde hair went down to the middle of her back and she seemed to have the short woman's eyes. And next to the model was…

Well damn.

Whoa.

A guy, who looked to be about my age was lounging on the couch. He was slouched, his legs wide open. He had wavy skater hair that covered his eyes, giving him an air of mystery. His eyes, although I couldn't really see because of his hair were the most beautiful sapphire blue eyes I had ever seen in the entire world. His lips were red, as if he had just licked them, or had an intense make out session with some lucky chick. My eyes trailed down his body. He was wearing a black shirt that hugged his chest quite snugly, and a dark grey button up over that. Paired with that, he was wearing dark blue jeans and grey converse. He was looking to the side, an arm under his chin as if he were fighting to stay awake, and I figured he was, because this was just awkward. Ed and Em were oblivious to the situation and were playing with the peas.

"Okay! Bella, why don't you introduce yourself and your friends, hm?" My mom asked me, a little widly. I guess the silence was getting to her too.

"Um, okay? I'm Bella, these are my two best friends, Edward and Emmett." I said in a monotone, pointing to Ed and Em when I spoke their names.

"Okay. I'm Peter Whitlock.—" The man, the father, said. He gestured to the small woman sitting next to him.

"—This is my wife, Charlotte and our kids Rosalie and Jasper—" At this point, he gestured to the model and Mr. Hottie slouching on the couch. I noticed he didn't introduce the brown haired girl as his daughter. Who the hell was she? And why was she still glaring at me!

"—This is Alice Brandon, a daughter of a good friend of ours." Peter finished his spiel and I smiled politely at him.

"Okay. So, this is nice, huh? You know, all of us here… together… sitting down… having a nice little chat… like we're old friends… Hehe…" My mom trailed off after her little awkward speech.

"Yes, honey. Why don't we get on to talk about the situation, shall we?" My dad asked formally. I squinted at my mom who was fidgeting. Renee never fidgets.

"No! How about we have a nice little snack first?" She asked, grabbing my dad's arm and digging her nails in. I noticed my dad wince a little.

"I don't get it, what situation?" I asked, clueless. What the hell was going on here? My parents weren't this formal and awkward with their guests. This time it was my mom who winced a little.

"Dude, your parents are like buggin' out." Em whispered to me. I whacked his arm.

" I know!" I hissed. Now I was really curious. I noticed Peter and Charlotte were looking at me, kind of surprised. I looked back at them, my confusion evident on my face.

"You don't know?" Peter asked me. I rolled my eyes and sighed, causing my bangs to lift out of my eyes and fall back down.

"I think it's evident that I don't know what the hell is going on in here. What the hell is going on here?" I was past confused and onto irritated and frustrated.

"You haven't told her?" Charlotte spoke. Her voice was low and sultry, innocent. She was adorable! (I balked a little at calling a grown woman with 2 kids 'adorable', but never mind that.)

"No…" Renee looked down at her lap.

"Told me what?" I asked, slapping my hands on my thighs.

"Let me tell her. I know how to do it, build up to it slowly." My mom told my dad. I sighed angrily.

"No, it should be like ripping off a band aid, you know, fast." Charlie told Renee. And then they were arguing about how to tell me whatever it was they were going to tell me. After 2 minutes of arguing, I stood up, pulling Ed and Em with me.

"Okay, when you two are done, you can come up to my room and tell me." I said.

"Bella, sit down." Charlie said sternly. I muttered under my breath and sat down. Ed and Em with me.

"Okay, Bella, I'm going to say this very quickly…" My mom began and trailed off. I waited for her to finish. So did the Whitlocks. Peter and Charlotte were smirking. Alice was glaring at me. Rosalie was on her phone and Jasper was looking bored and a little annoyed. Well, so was I , buddy, so was I. Then Charlie sighed and turned to me.

"Bella, you're getting married to Jasper in less than a month." Charlie said quickly. It was dead silent for about 20 seconds. Then Edward and Emmett abruptly stood up.

"Well, that's our cue to get going." Edward said.

"Yeah, call us later, Bells." Emmett said, before they both bent down and kissed me on either side of my cheeks. Then they picked up their skateboards and bolted. I heard the front door being shut. I noticed that the Whitlocks were all smirking. Rosalie had put away her phone and was looking interested. Jasper, too, looked a bit interested. Alice was glaring even harder at me.

"Ha. Okay, really, what's the big news?" I asked, smirking. My mom fidgeted a little more.

"That is the big news. Listen, sweetheart, many years ago your grandfather made a deal with.. Grandpa Whitlock that their granddaughter and grandson would get married, so that the Whitlocks could have their share of the company." Renee said awkwardly.

"Seriously, that's not funny, guys. Why don't you all just make idle chit chat while I go hang out in my room." I stood up, stopping when I heard the sexiest bedroom voice, I marvelled at the tone before actually listening to the words.

"It's not a fucking joke. Stop being a stubborn bitch and just accept that fact." Jasper muttered, loud enough for all of us to hear him. Charlotte reached over Alice and Rosalie and smacked Jasper. I could feel anger building up… like a fart.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?" I hissed in a deadly hushed tone. The hair on my neck was standing up and my fists were clenched. Charlie was standing up, to grab me before anything happened. Renee was sitting down, back completely straight, her face ashen.

"I think I'm Jasper Whitlock and I'm tired of you making a fool out of yourself." He stood up, also.

"Oh,really? Making a fool out of myself. You know what I think? I think I'm gonna beat you to death with my fists." I said, rushing forward. Charlie rushed forward, grabbing my arm.

"Whatever." He sighed.

"Jasper, shut up!" Charlotte and Peter hissed. Alice was now smirking at me.

"I'm pretty sure that when you found out, you reacted like me. Didn't he?" I asked Rosalie. She stood up and smiled at me.

"He threw around a few things, too." She said. I nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay then." I wrenched myself out of my dad's grip, walked forward and pushed the coffee table to the side. The cups on it crashed to the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

"Bella—" My mom stood up. I shook my head at her, my hair flying around me.

"No! Fuck you, both! And fuck you, Jasper Whitlock!" I shouted at them. I walked to the door, glass shattering under my combat boots.

"Bella—"

"I'm heading over to either the McCarteys' or the Cullens'. And hey, maybe I'll stay with them forever. Wanna know why? Because they aren't making me get married to some stranger asshole!" I grabbed my board and walked out the front door, the door slamming shut so hard,

I'm pretty sure it was vibrating.

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-Katherine