I hung out with Chouji today. He'd just eaten two racks of lamb and requested that I take him for a walk somewhere in order to burn it off. I'd told him, as I always do, that the best way to burn off calories is to not consume them like a goddamn jaguar. He retorted, "but Shikamaru, I wouldn't be here getting your precious advice if I didn't have calories that needed burning in the first place." He laughed. So did I.
I bought him a snow cone for that one.