Hey guys! I know I should be working on "My Sister" but I've had some one-shot ideas just killing me! so I cannot ignore them!
That said, this is the first of those one-shots. Based on the song "Why" by Rascal Flatts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rated: T
Why?
Rachel Berry never did anything halfway. She gave her all to every little project, be it an essay, or a song for the glee club, she gave it her all. So why was it that she had left in the middle of her song? Maybe we should rewind...
two days earlier...
"Hey manhands! Saw you got ANOTHER one of MY solo's, guess you've been sucking up a little more lately... guess you and Will really are 'close' huh?" Normally Rachel Berry could take an insult and move on, but lately they had seemed to be coming from all directions, including the New Directions.
"Look Mercedes, You can have the solo, it doesn't matter to me". Needless to say the reaction of the chocolate thunder was one of shock, and victory. She had cracked the star that was Rachel Barbra Berry. So why didn't she feel better about it?
later that day...
"No one tells you anything because you're a blabbermouth and we all just pretend to like you! To be honest Berry, not one of us in this room can stand you! But you're talented so we have to deal with it to win". Santana's words stung like the ice of the slushy facial she received that morning not only from her normal tormentor Dave Karofsky, but also from the boy who used to hold such a beautiful space in her heart; Finn Hudson. All she had worked for, peace between herself and her fellow glee clubbers was gone, because of that slushy this morning, the half smile he wore lay etched in her mind forever, haunting her memories.
at glee that afternoon...
"Alright guys! Congratulations on your tie with the Warblers! But... we can not sit idly by! We have to start preparing immediately for Nationals! So... your assignment this week is a solo that describes you. Maybe how you are feeling at this time in your life, or what you believe in? Go crazy you guys! Be ready by Thursday please!" William Schuester was so proud of his glee club, sure they had their moments, but they pulled together as a family and won together. He truly believed that they were all starting to love one and other.
"Mr. Schu? May I please go first on Thursday?" Ah, that voice, he'd know it anywhere. Though it'd be hard not to, when it's all you ever hear.
"Of course Rachel, we all look forward to another performance". Will had never once met a student with the talent of Rachel Berry, but her personality often clouded the beauty of her voice. Many students found her too mature and talkative and focused on her goals, in other words, intimidating. He felt relatively bad for her, but at least she had her glee club friends, right?
The next morning...(wednesday)
"Hey Berry! Hey wait up!" Noah Puckerman had been friends with Rachel ever since the baby-gate drama had occurred and she was the only one on his side, and he could tell as of late that she was trying to push him away for some reason, her only friend. Literally, Noah Puckerman was her only friend in this whole world, other than her two gay dads of course. So what he couldn't understand was why she wouldn't want him to be her friend anymore. He'd get an answer, he was determined.
"Noah, I thought I told you I wanted nothing to do with y-" It was at that exact moment that not only did Dave Karofsky, Mercedes, Quinn, Santana, Finn, Brittany, and Sam hit her with the ice cold remorse of slushy, but also that the boys from the baseball team had written 'slut' and 'fags kid' all over the inside of her locker and filled her locker with feathers, she was covered in icy feathers and insults with an onslaught of spectators just laughing at the joke that was Rachel Berry.
"Come on Berry, not here, don't let them do this to you. You're stronger than this, you can cry in the restroom, let's go". Noah led her to the girls restroom with Mike on his heels, her only other sort of friend. Washing the ice and feathers and pieces of paper filled with lies off of the beautiful girl in front of him broke Noah's heart, though he'd never admit it, because he's a badass, and doesn't do feelings and shit. Once Rachel was relatively clean, she sat shivering, and said not one word which was odd for Rachel. In fact it scared the hell out of him, he needed her to tell him she was okay or something. Instead, she just grabbed for the extra clothes that Noah gave her, and silently crept into the stall and changed. When the tiny girl re-emerged dressed in Noah's basketball warm-ups, his heart almost blew up, she looked so beautiful. But he wouldn't ever say that out loud, that'd kill his rep. So, silently he took her hand and just led her out into the hall and then went their separate ways.
Rachel received many hate letters and glares whilst wearing Noah's basketball clothes, and just accepted that she deserved everything she was getting. Two days ago, Rachel Berry would've fought and stood up for herself. But two days ago Rachel Berry believed in herself and had light in her eyes, but now that light was gone, along with the belief that she'd ever be anything but a nuisance to those around her. So she made a plan, in typical Berry fashion, left out no steps, after all; she does nothing halfway.
Thursday at glee...
"Well well well... if it isn't little slut Berry! Heard you and Puck had a quicky yesterday and then you did the walk of shame all day in his clothes, damn girl even I don't stoop that low to do it at school!" Santana had hit an all time low, calling out the only friendship that Rachel had left, but she was so far gone into the darkness now, that all she could do was nod quietly and take her seat at the back of the choir room, alone.
Santana got worried when she saw the look in Rachel's eyes, it was like she was there- but not actually there. Like someone had taken away all her kitty sweaters or something. Whatever, she had better things to worry about.
"Alright guys! let's get this rolling! Rachel, you ready?" Will looked to the front seat where the young ingenue usually sat, but didn't find her there instead found a rather quiet 'yes sir' from the back row? what was going on? He had no idea, but Rachel was already down to the front ready to go, so he'd let her do just that. But he would find out what was going on just as soon as this was over.
Rachel waited for the piano to start, waited for the beginning of her plan...
I have seen a summer day
that slowly opens like a rose
along a quiet road that wanders by
And I have smiled and wonder'd
Where it goes
I have stumbled through the night
Alone as any man can be
Then found a silent canyon full of stars
And in my heart I heard them telling me
I was home
Rachel ran out of the choir choking back the sobs waiting to erupt from her tiny frame. She was finally ready to set her plan into motion. She ran and ran until she reached her destination.
back at the glee club...
"What the hell was that? I thought this was about our feelings or our personalities?" Mercedes snapped.
"Um... you guys that may have been about her feelings, they sang that song at my cousin's funeral, after he k...killed himself. Think about it, she has been tortured on a daily basis, she has parents that are out of town ninety percent of the time, and no safe haven to turn to...I think we may have just seen the last of Rachel Berry" Tina stuttered out the last sentence, through her tears of regret and pain. She had caused this, she was part of the reason that a young, beautiful, talented girl was in so much pain.
"Puck!" But it was too late, he was out the door, and sprinting faster than ever before til he reached his destination...
Looking up at the Berry's house, he was horrified to see Rachel's car in the driveway, and that made his guts twist in terror that what Tina said could actually be true. So he ran, as fast as he could, screaming her name at the top of his lungs. He found a white envelope with each of the glee kids names on it on her kitchen table, and his heart sank, no. God please. not my Rachel. So he kept running, kept yelling, kept crying, until he came across Rachel Barbra Berry.
Or what used to be Rachel Barbra Berry. It was true, everything that Tina had said. How could he have missed all the signs? He was supposed to be her best friend? He loved her, and he never told her! This could not be real. He had to be imagining the girl with slit wrists laying in his arms... he just... he had to be. This was not his Rachel.
He hadn't realized he wasn't alone until he heard a scream and sobs of regret and all the remorse for what they had done... it was Santana and Quinn at the door, followed by everyone else in the club.
Mr. Schu had called the police and Rachel's body was literally pried from the broken boy's arms not an hour later. Noah sat and sobbed reminiscing on all the times he could've saved her, he could've been her hero, and now she was gone, forever. At sixteen. Dead. Forever.
Her service was held three days later at the temple her and Noah's family attended- starting with prayer and then surprisingly the Rabbi announced there would be a guest singer portraying an important song he had for Rachel.
Noah nodded in gratitude at his Rabbi and grabbed his guitar and slid into the chair set up at the front of the temple. He looked around, and took in the faces of his classmates- most at their first funeral, all too young to be there- and began his song for his Rachel:
You must have been in a place so dark, you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Mmmmmmm...
Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
And, was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' the troubled soul
Oh, god only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Yeah...
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts I hear, a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place
Oh, why?
There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question:
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong
They lied
And now you're gone
And we cry
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
The applause was quiet, but Noah wasn't concerned with any of that. He knew that he had made his point. And he had hoped that his girl had heard it.
After the speeches from her fathers and the mangled apologies from her glee team members, it was Noah's turn for his speech. He was not going to cry, he made himself that promise.
"Um Hey everyone, I'm Noah. I was Rachel's best friend. I don't know what to say up here, no one my age should be at a funeral. Especially for someone the same age. Well, Rach. You got your audience, but you're not here babe. Why aren't you here? You know something? I loved her. I never told her. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world, but I never told her, and now i'm too late. All because of some high school torture. I miss you babe. I can't believe you're gone forever, and you left me here without you. The worst part is, I was gonna marry you, I was. I was gonna grow old with you, and we were gonna be so happy and so in love forever, but I never even got to tell you I loved you! God dammit Rachel! Why! I'm so mad at you! Please just come back! I'll protect you! I need you!" Noah said he wouldn't cry, but promises are often broken... Rachel once promised him she'd never leave him on his own, and look at him now; being escorted off the stage by her two fathers and calmed by his mother like a small boy.
Truth is; there's always an exception to the rule, and Noah knew that Rachel was that exception. She was in heaven, no matter what people said. But that didn't alleviate his heartbreak any, she was still nowhere near him, and he needed her like he needed oxygen.
He traced his fingers over the etched letters and sighed.
Rachel Barbra Berry
September 21 1994- January 3 2011
Beloved Daughter. Shining Star. Beautiful Soul.
As Noah sat there with his Rachel's headstone, he heard a familiar tune blare out of nowhere, and he collapsed in sobs as he sang along; she had heard him. And she loved him too.
'Sweet caroline, good times never seemed so good'
A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for reading! REVIEW! PLEASE? It's kind of an unrealistic ending, but ah well. It's why it's fiction I suppose.
- Kaycee