Haruhi-Kyouya pairing

A/N: Well, hello everyone. This is my first time at a fanfic, published or not. My very first attempt EVER! And here I always thought that my first would be a Naruto. Oh well, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own OHSHC or any of the characters. I wouldn't be writing fan fiction, if I did; I would be drawing and writing and having a grand old time being rich and admired.

I'm not the fun one. I'm not the cute one, the lovable one, the tough one, or even the admirable one. I'm the one that is always in the background; I'm the one that's always calculating, planning, organizing, but never enjoying. I'm the boring one, the cold one. I'm the Mommy.

At least… that's the way it felt before she got here. Before her, I could feel the tight vise that my persona had become slipping tighter and tighter around my chest, making it hard to breathe. I, the aloof one, the remote one, was drowning in exactly what I thought I wanted to be- what I thought I was supposed to be. I suppose that scared me more than the thought of profit margins in the red.

But as I said before, that was all before she arrived, breaking precious porcelain in her wake. Studying the shards of the blue-green vase on the floor, I knew what was coming next. Like a well-written, over-used script, I felt the words pour out of my mouth, all the while wondering how I could talk when I could barely breathe.

But somehow, this time I knew the script was being changed; I knew that this time, it would end differently.

"Haru-chan~!" The name made my pen, active as always, skitter across the graph paper that I was so meticulously embellishing with information and numbers that would keep this ragtag group together.

But even as I grimaced, searching for some way to salvage my own academic Mona Lisa, I was excited to hear her name; even after these long months, many adventures, and yes, hormonal breakdowns (No askance glances to Ms. Haruhi, please; you should direct your attention to our most glorious King and his two idiot attendant look-a-likes.), I was vaguely surprised that even her name could make my heart miss and my thoughts (not to mention, pen) scramble.

It was as unlike me as was a missed answer on a Trigonometry exam. It made me feel uneasy, but I was adept at hiding beneath my façade of collected, unruffled boredom.

"Haru-chan!" Honey-senpai smiled as he danced over to her, his Usa-chan dragging on the floor behind him (probably costing me- us- another ¥15,000 in dry cleaning). I quickly scribbled that little vein-popper into the margin of my leather-bound folio before casually fixing my attention on the pair- after all, Mommy has a right, doesn't s(he)?

This newfound interest in someone such as her baffled me; I could have many women much more attractive than her, no money involved. All I had to do was say my name and a woman was ready to throw herself at my feet.

I would be lying if I said I didn't use this to my advantage every once and a while- discreetly, of course. So why was it that I felt so desperate to have her? Easy, my calculating, logical mind responded. Sometimes, it was like we were two intimidating intelligent entities. You naturally want what you can't have.

"I haven't seen you in…" Honey-senpai's brown eyes shuttered and his brows knitted together as he (adorably) attempted the math. Two hours and seventeen minutes, my mind responded moments before Honey's own, "Forever!"

The lovely item looked over at his cousin, best friend, and confidant for affirmation. Mori-senpai responded with a grunt that could either be taken for a yes, or just that- a grunt.

"Where have you been?" the little blonde asked imploringly, his rabbit clutched underneath his chin (again, adorably). His interogatee looked at him in confusion, before she answered slowly. "I've been in class, Honey-senpai. Where else?"

Never amiss for a chance to cause trouble, Hikaru and Kaoru loped over to join the little group in tandem, mirror images of each other. (Apparently, sitting on the couch, playing Mercy isn't enough fun.) "Now, now, Haruhi," Hikaru began, wagging his finger in mock disapproval. "You know it's not in good taste for a lady to reveal where her trysts take place." The girl's face fell in dry acknowledgement of the joke.

"That's right," Kaoru chimed in. "Especially since the parties involved," a quick motion between him and his twin, "don't particularly want everyone to know that that's what we do in between classes. Really, Haruhi. Please try to be more considerate next time!"

I smiled shallowly as this set off a minor explosion from the last uninvolved member besides myself. Tamaki was practically foaming at the mouth, hearing this. "How dare you talk about my beloved daughter like that! Unscrupulous! It's distasteful!"

Violet eyes flashing dramatically, he chased the twins around the room, threatening to kill them. They only laughed, enjoying the new game. When was Tamaki ever going to learn?

Relatively unaffected by the interruption, Haruhi resumed her conversation with Honey-senpai, becoming more and more animated as the conversation apparently developed into something that interested her.

Ever on the outside, I pushed my glasses back towards the top of my nose. I wonder how it would feel to make her smile like that. I wonder how she would respond if I…? , I mused silently, cutting off my own train of thought before it meandered down more unpleasant avenues. Ever discreet, I tended to avoid such subjects.

But perhaps the gods of dull people were smiling down on me, because moments later, Haruhi turned her beautiful attentions on me. At least, I liked to think that's what was happening as she excused herself and walked over to the table I was sitting at.

If I was honest with myself, I would admit that I enjoyed watching her walk over to the table as much as I enjoyed her being so close once she actually sat down. But I wasn't honest unless it benefitted me and I wasn't sure if this new revelation fell into that category; so I did what I usually did, what I had been doing for so long that it had wormed its way into becoming a natural habit- I didn't do anything but sit silently and plan out what would be the most advantageous move for me.

I, the lifeless one, the unexciting one, sat stoically as I watched her approach me. Back to that sticky subject about honesty, in all of it, I wanted to leap up, kneel in front of her, and declare that I loved everything about her. But as the drab one, I knew that breaking form was forbidden to me.

My very being revolted against such a display, but I still couldn't help wondering and speculating, even if the two were entirely useless venues.

"Good afternoon, Kyouya-senpai." Ah, her formality cut me, shallowly, but all the same. 'No', I wanted to tell her, shout at her, whisper in her ear, 'Call me Kyouya-san... Kyouya-kun.' But, I stayed in my seat, flashing her a subdued smile. In all things, prudence first. Besides, what would people think if I asked her to call me so familiarly? Not advantageous in the least bit. "Good afternoon, Haruhi. How was class?"

I wanted to know, wanted to hear her voice- for once- only sounding for me. Was it childish and selfish? I thought to myself, that smile falling flat on my lips. Yes, I decided. But I also decided that I was allowed that childishness, that selfishness every once in a while. After all, Mommy can't be a grown-up all the time. Later, I would be surprised that not once did I think about holding my courtesy against her, for a favor, even thought I thought I would.

"Oh, you know. It was boring and not over soon enough. But I can't give up," she said confidently. She ran a small hand through her short brown locks quickly, glancing out at the sky as she did so.

Thinking about her mother, my mind supplied as I looked out the huge window with her. "I have to work as hard as I can or I'll never fulfill my dream." I smiled a true smile at that, but my dark eyes filled with longing and confusion.

Haruhi paused a moment before twisting her lips wryly. "How much is that question going to cost me?" she asked laughingly. I didn't flinch, though I didn't offer a smile either because we both knew (at least I hoped we did) that it wasn't so much a joke as it was truth.

Everything cost her, everything embedded her deeper into this confinement; though honesty came easy on this point when I admitted that I did it on purpose. I did it sadistically, because I wanted her close to me.

I wanted a chance at her, a chance that Tamaki was easily given but hasn't realized, a chance that the twins still have but refuse to act on. I wasn't given a chance, and for that, I want to make her suffer.

I ignored the barb that I thought was hidden in the joke; Haruhi smiled sadly, the truth having bit her on the nose. She knew that every kindness I gave her, every piece of advice I tossed her way was just another mound of dirt that buried her deeper within the Host Club's debt; at this point, I'm not sure who I hate more: myself for doing this to her, or her for doing this to me?

But I didn't let myself think on the question too much. It reminded me much of a rose in a way, intriguing at first glance, but to wrap your hand around it was to draw blood.

"Well, I'm sure you'll do exactly as you want in life," I replied finally as I stood up; irony struck me blind at the moment- my statement had two inflections, but only one drew a surge of cold to my eyes, hidden behind my glasses.

She didn't say anything as I walked away, and out the door of the Third Music Room. But I didn't put too much stock in the reaction or lack thereof; Haruhi could usually be depended on for explaining things away.

Strangely enough, again, I wasn't sure who I hated more for this fact: her or me.

Well, thank you all kindly for reading this. I would love for reviews! That way, I'll know if anyone would actually read this if I continued to write. Sorry that I didn't write out much dialogue, but this is just the introduction; be patient, my fair readers. It will be okay.