A/N: Passions run wild and all that pent up sexual tension is about to be released…right?

Chapter 9

She led him by the hand inside her chambers, eyes twinkling with excitement and her face flush with desire. He drew her in for a powerful kiss and lust ignited in a brilliant flashover. This time he didn't hold himself in check. This time, he let himself be swept up in the burning passion. This time, he would have her!

Clothes fell to the floor between the kissing and the grabbing and caressing that in no way was gentle. It was a desperate situation. She had to have him. Had to feel him inside her. Ettwanae moaned as wave after wave of frantic need raced through her. Free of all remnants of clothing, she fell backward into the softness of the bed, wings spread wide in invitation. "Goddess, I want you!" she cried out, reaching for him.

She was breathtaking. He couldn't speak; could barely breathe. She was too beautiful. He was atop the heavenly creature in an instant and she grabbed hold with force and pulled him down, fingers curled tightly in his hair. Hungry fire danced between their bodies that only one thing would satisfied. Warren wanted her, all of her, everything she had to offer. Leisurely sensuality would be for another time. He took her mouth in a crushing kiss, entwined tongues, then bit her lip as he broke away. His hands took on a life of their own as they followed the curvy contours of her body. Up her arms, across the shoulders to her graceful neck, and back down again. Another fiery kiss, deeper than the first, and his hand found her breasts. His breath hitched as her leg wrapped around his.

'Oh, my god!' He drew his lips down the slender neck, to her chest, drawing a breast into his mouth, twirled his tongue around the nipple. Ettwanae moaned and shuddered beneath him, the sensation sending his arousal soaring to new heights. Expanding his wings around them like a white canopy isolating them from the universe, he devoured her. She was his – only his. Warren was dizzy from the maelstrom of need and sensation. His heart pounded, threatening to break free from his chest. Not even Ztar worked him up into such a wild frenzy so quickly.

Down her ribs and side, he pressed his palms hard against her, wanting to crawl under the soft skin. Sliding his hands beneath her, he found those spots where feather met flesh and massaged with his thumbs, exactly as Ztar had done with him so many times. Warren was rewarded when Ettwanae arched against his chest and cried out, triggering ripples from his head to his toes.

"Goddess!" Ettwanae was on fire. He was so skilled. Every brush of his lips, caress of his hands, each trailing of fingertips brought delight she hadn't imagined was possible. When he hit a point at the base of her wings, she crashed headlong into ecstasy and trembled with the impact from wing tip to wing tip and all points between. As she reveled in the bliss, he drew his fingers down through her feathers and her body vibrated like a taut, plucked string. It was almost too much; almost painful, yet she wanted more – so much more. "Again!" she choked out.

The sensual feel of feathers sliding between his fingers nearly made him orgasmic. Powerful drive to be inside her nearly overwhelmed him, yet Warren wanted…needed to watch Ettwanae respond to his titillations; to see the beautiful face reflect her rapture. Was this what it had been like for Ztar? To know you were capable of bestowing so much carnal delight in another being? The smell of her, the sight of her – he was transfixed. This wasn't sex, this was something else entirely. In a single encounter, he was losing himself to an alien he barely knew, and he couldn't care less. He moved from the wings to caress her lithe form, to kiss the perfect breasts again, massage them, and then slid his hand down low to where things were heading rapidly. She was more than ready to accept him. 'So quick!' He throbbed in need.

Through the haze of lust, she looked at the man above her. How she'd dreamed of this moment. They were soulbounds and now they would complete the bonding. And it was wondrous! Running her hands over his chest, she relished the firm tone and lean contours. He was more beautiful than she had words to describe. She marveled at the golden hair; the crystalline-blue eyes, their color deeper with desire; ivory skin; and the strength she felt as his muscles worked. She submersed herself in how absolutely and completely right they were together. The goddess had bestowed her blessings in bringing Warren to her. She was his now and forever.

She kissed perfect lips. Warren had a hard heart? How could she have believe that for even an instant? She nipped finely-carved ear. Cruel? She massaged the base of a magnificent wing and he moaned. Not a cruel cell in him. She ran her nails down strong back and across firm buttocks. Ruthless? The man above her? Not possible. She felt herself open to him emotionally and mentally, even as she spread her legs wide. She'd give this man all that she was – body, mind, and spirit. She'd defend him with her life. She'd kill and steal for him. All this she knew without question. They were soulbounds – the actual act was a mere technicality.

She was drawn back to the physical when Warren's fingers went "there." How she wanted him inside her. Ettwanae shuddered, murmured her bliss, and pulled him down for a desperate kiss. Tongues frantically danced and twirled, then he pulled back and nipped at her lip. She tried to take his mouth again, but he had other plans and kissed her cheeks and eyelids, nibbled an earlobe, and worked his way down her neck. When he brushed his lips across the wing arch, a shot of liquid heat ran straight from the wing to her groin. 'Going to melt!' she was convinced. Rising her hips up, she pressed their bodies together more tightly, the sensation of his shaft against her was too much.

"Goddess…please, now!" she gasped, burning and pulsating with longing.

Ettwanae's plea almost took him over the edge. "Not yet," he managed. He wanted to enjoy her just a little longer, stoke the fires just a bit more, but he knew he'd take her soon. A man can only hold off so long.

The universe was distant now. There was only Ettwanae – the rest of existence was an abstraction. Her beneath him; eyes darkened with lust, pupils wide, luring him into their depths. So right. Perfect. Meant to be. Her body entwined with his, desperate for him. He for her. Then awareness nudged – something on a far deeper level was growing…reaching. He didn't fight, but welcomed it with wild abandon.

Need was all. Her need for him to thrust within where no one had been. Her first. Her soulbound. She throbbed painfully for them to join. "P-please!" Ettwanae cried out the plea that erupted from her very soul.

'JOIN! BE ONE!' came the command from a nameless place. It would not be denied.

She was completing him. Almost. Nearly so. Just one last thing…one last piece of him to be within her, she within him, before he plunged into her moist depths. It wasn't physical – it was something more him than his body. He had no name for it, nor did he care. He only wanted it to be so. All motion ceased – time stopped. That nameless part of him reached out for the nameless part of her… soul to soul…caressing, entwining. The touch was euphoria.

For an instant.

Then only blinding pain burning to the cores of their existence. They screamed in unison.

###

/ ETTWANAE! / Volu screamed in panic. Her Other's pain plunged through Volu's consciousness like a white-hot dagger. / Ettwanae – what is happening! /

A quick internal sensor scan showed the pair lying huddled together. Bio-sign readings indicated physical shock and distress. There was no one else in the room. Had Warren attacked Ettwanae? No, sensors confirmed both were equally in affected. Volu switched to audio communications.

"Ettwanae, Warren, please respond!" she urged gently as not to startle. No reply.

###

Warren clung to Ettwanae as the debilitating pain faded, distantly hearing the ship's frantic call. 'Dear god, what was that? What happened? Were they attacked?' He was shaking uncontrollably and felt Ettwanae's equal tremors. He looked around but no one had intruded. "Are you okay?" he whispered, struggling to sit up against her clutching embrace; fiery passion extinguished without so much as a glowing ember remaining.

She nodded, her eyes squeezed shut. She didn't want to let him go, but did, dropping her hands and curling into a ball. The tears came, soon followed by racking sobs that erupted from her very soul. Ettwanae covered her face with her hands in despair.

"We're unharmed, Volu." Warren wasn't certain he sounded at all convincing. "Has something happened? Are we under attack?"

'No, Warren, nothing like that. What happened was only between you and Ettwanae."

Assured they were not in danger, Warren watched Ettwanae cry and wanted to do likewise. The physical pain was fading, but a deeper ache hurt more. 'What the hell happened? It had been so wonderful until…' Confusion swirled with the slam-down of what had been euphoria. Had they starting the bonding process and it failed? Was it because he was Human? Had he been rejected as incompatible?

###

Volu was concerned – very concerned. Nothing should have interfered with the bonding. The fact that Ettwanae and Warren experienced the powerful drive to mate confirmed they were soulbounds. Even if he was somehow physically Human, their strong mutual attraction told Volu that his lifeforce was Eshaaru and thus the pairing could be consummated. So why did it fail? Volu was perplexed. Everything she knew about Eshaarus told her Ettwanae and Warren should have bonded. Unless… She scanned Warren deeply checking for the only possible explanation. If she was right, Ettwanae was going to be devastated and Volu was going to be beyond livid.

###

She couldn't speak, it was beyond her will. 'Goddess, why did the bonding fail? He's my soulbound – I know it! All the signs…what I felt… He's the one, I know! Then why?' she prayed for answers. The questions strengthened her sobs. All her imaginings about that special moment when she and her soulbound would unite. It was to be magical, special – a moment she'd always look back on with wonder. Then she saw Warren, touched him, and knew. Her heart had sung and her soul rejoiced. Now in a single, horrifying heartbeat, those dreams were shattered. 'What went wrong?' More gut-wrenching sobs tore from her throat.

###

As Ettwanae's sobbing continued, Warren tried to sort out what occurred. 'It wasn't meant to turn out like this. The bonding was meant to be.' Warren believed with a new certainty he could not explain. He brushed her hair from her tear-soaked face with a trembling hand. "Ettwanae, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry," he tried to soothe.

Had the energy he'd shared so many times with Ztar somehow gone askew? Was there something about the two of them that caused it to backlash? He'd felt something pass between them just before the pain, but it didn't feel the like the channeled energy. Something different? He stuffed the emotions that threatened to swallow him. Pulling her to his chest, he smoothed her hair and stroked the trembling wings as her head rested on his shoulder.

Rocking gently, he fought to calm the whirl of emotions. "Shhh, it's okay. It'll be okay." He believed not a word. Everything had been so perfect. Now there was an ache so deep he hadn't words to describe where it resided. All Warren knew with certainty was that their brief encounter had felt perfect and right; as if he'd been waiting for her all his life. It mattered not that it was illogical and irrational and too good to be true. All he knew is that before the pain struck, he had felt whole to his very soul.

Holding the sobbing young woman in his arms, her radiating emotional pain blended with his own. He wanted to be with her, but that was looking doubtful. 'Screwed over yet again,' he thought bitterly. The weeping eased and she pushed back to look at him. With a shaky hand, she brushed his face, traced his lips.

"It was supposed to be beautiful." Her whispery voice was laden with despair and longing. "Our first time – our bonding." Tears sprung up again in the blue orbs and trickled down her cheeks. "Why did this happen?" Her eyes searched his for an answer. He had none to give.

"Because I'm Human? I don't know," he shook his head. "It was beautiful, until… What was the bonding supposed to be like? Tell me."

Just as Ettwanae was about to speak, Volu interrupted, startling both of them.

"Before you answer, Ettwanae, you need to hear what I have to say," Volu declared, anger obvious.

Warren's own ire flared instantly at the obvious breach of privacy. "Do you always eavesdrop on private conversations?" he accused the living ship.

"You have no rights here – no say! You have misrepresented yourself to Ettwanae. I will not tolerate such cruel deceit!"

The voice was cutting and loaded with wrath, leaving Warren stunned. "What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded, pushing further back from Ettwanae, who looked equally confused.

"I am so sorry, Poda," the voice was now tender and loving. "I should have verified his status earlier. Your pain has been compounded by my respect of his privacy."

"What do you mean, Volu?" Ettwanae wiped her eyes and face.

"Exactly my question." Warren added.

A long pause preceded Volu's response. "Poda, this man we hoped was your soulbound is-" she hesitated. "He is already bound to another."

"What?" Ettwanae and Warren asked in unison.

"I performed a lifeforce analysis and it revealed the truth. He is bound to another. He cannot be bound to you. That is what happened – the union was halted."

"It can't be! Volu, no!" Ettwanae was in shock. She couldn't think. 'He's already bound to another' echoed in her head with mocking cruelty.

Warren was even more confused. "Volu, you're wrong. I've never met an Eshaaru before!" He got out of bed and hastily pulled on his pants.

"It is as I have said. You are already soulbound to another. You cannot be bound to Ettwanae. How could you be so cruel as to allow her to believe you were free? Did you really think you could pair with Ettwanae? What did you hope to gain?" The voice was venomous in its demands. "How much more have you kept from us?"

Warren shook his head. This was some kind of screwy mistake. "I'm not bound, Volu! I'd know if I was – wouldn't I?" Warren actually thought he felt a shudder run through ship.

"Of course you would know. Do not play us for fools! The bonding process is unmistakable." Disgust. Condemnation.

"Volu's right, Warren, you'd know," Ettwanae chimed in, wiping away the tears. "At least that's what I've learned."

Warren scowled. "Then you know more than me. I don't have the slightest idea what this bonding is supposed to feel like, let alone what the hell just happened."

Ettwanae was torn. Warren seemed truly confused, yet if the Eshaar'ne said he was bound, he was bound. "Volu, tell Warren what the files say about soulbinding." She didn't trust herself to share the details without breaking down again.

"If it pleases you, Ettwanae, but it changes nothing." Harshness permeated the alien voice. "During first mating of soulbounds, Ura creates a bond that remains until the death of one of the pair. At the moment of exchange, all physical motion ceases as the soulbounds merge incorporeally. Lifeforce flows from one to the other, entangling and weaving itself through the essence of both. The feeling is euphoric and distinctively different from any sensation ever felt before. The Source will envelope them in its golden radiance as Ura completes the binding. It is only then they will join as one physically. Once the mating is consummated, the glow dissipates and the soulbounds will be physically depleted, but at peace from a knowing that they are complete as a pairing."

His heart sank as Volu spoke. Her description had sent chills to his soul. 'Oh, god. Is it possible? It all sounds way too familiar.' Warren sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. Ettwanae leaned to look into his face from her perch in the middle of the mattress. "Warren? Tell me what's wrong."

"Volu, how is it that you know I'm already bound?" He swallowed hard. 'Please don't say what I think you're going to say.'

"The sign is undeniable. You carry a second lifeforce pattern – that of your soulbound."

Warren buried his face in his hands. Memories filled him of the intense night Ztar and he shared when they learned Jharda Myrundra may have been killed in the Mon Genesis bombing. Volu's description was so accurate it was almost as if she'd been there. He remembered thinking off and on after that night, how he and Ztar felt connected on a new level. 'God, if true, it explains so much!'

"Ztar," he managed the admission.

Ettwanae blinked. "Emperor Ztar?" Warren nodded. "What about the Emperor?"

"I think he's the one." Warren dropped his hands and looked into the crystalline-blue eyes.

"Not possible," Volu replied firmly. "Only two Eshaaru can be bound. Emperor Ztar is very obviously not Eshaaru."

Warren got up and began to pace Ettwanae's chambers. "Then I have no other possibilities!" He threw up his hands in frustration and confusion. "Ztar and I shared an experience exactly as you described. It was something I'd never experienced before or since."

Volu was silent for many moments. "I will scan your lifeforce patterns more deeply."

She knew Warren had been the Emperor's companion – Volu had told her that's what the comnet labeled him, but she had pushed that aside, telling herself it didn't matter. It wasn't unheard of for Eshaaru to have other bedmates before finding their soulbound – that's what Volu said. She couldn't hold it against Warren – how was he to know she was out there? No, what troubled her was that Ztar and Warren's relationship was strong enough to force an impossible bonding between the two different species. That gave her pause. Did Warren still love Ztar?

She watched him pace as Volu performed her scan. He was obviously upset and confused. What she'd felt while lying beneath him held no hints that he wanted anyone but her. She had been his total focus. Besides, he'd left the ruler over a year ago. You don't normally leave someone you love deeply. And Warren said his life was on Earth – not on Sat'rey…not with the Emperor. All positive signs that his and Ztar's relationship had concluded, regardless of how powerful it once was. She dismissed her concerns. Past is past. Her soul wanted Warren as did her body. She'd make sure both he and Volu knew that.

Ettwanae crawled off the bed and stopped Warren in his tracks. "If you are already bound, I don't care. I love you – I've always loved you." She cradled his face in her hands as the words tumbled out. "We're meant to be together." She extended her wings around him as feelings of desire began to stir once again. "Please stay with me."

He drew her in and nestled his face into the softness of her hair. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea." The words came out as a feeble attempt to share his regret for what he may have unwittingly given to Ztar, but they were enough to pave the way for the soul-deep pain to rise again.

Tears were coming once more and she did nothing to stop them, but sobs did not. "We'll find a way. I vow to you," she promised into his shoulder.

Warren pulled away just enough to look into the determined face. "Does it really matter that I carry a second lifeforce? It was a mistake – I didn't mean for it to happen. Can't we get rid of it?"

Ettwanae studied him. He was so naïve in the ways of the Eshaaru; had so very much to learn. Before Ettwanae could reply, Volu's voice filled her chambers.

"I am almost without words. This should not be possible."

"What?" Ettwanae urged.

"The secondary lifeforce pattern is not Eshaaru. The species marker is Turzent."

"Fuck!" Warren swore breaking away from Ettwanae.

"Volu, how is that possible?"

"It would not be possible except for one incomprehensible fact. Warren, your lifeforce pattern has no species marker. That cannot be."

Warren hadn't a clue as to what she was talking about. "What's a species marker?"

"Every sentient being carries a species indicator as part of their lifeforce pattern. That marker uniquely identifies the individual as a member of his or her race. It is not possible to be without the indicator – it is inherent to energy pattern."

"If what you say is correct, apparently it is possible. And because I have no species indicator, I was able to be bound to Ztar?" He took the leap of logic.

"That is the only explanation I have."

"You're certain everyone has this marker?"

"Yes, Warren. My knowledge of life energy patterns is extensive as is my ability to detect and decipher them – superior to the technology and knowledge of the current known races." Volu's tone carried with a air of smugness.

"Yet you say I have no such marker. Did I ever have it or did I lose it?" Apocalypse's manipulation of his DNA and impregnation with the nannites came to mind. Had the super-mutant needed to remove his marker for some unknown reason? Was that even possible?

There was silence for several heartbeats. "Even with my advanced knowledge, I can offer no theories."

"So what does all this mean?" He wanted to know the bottom line.

"My hypothesis is that you were able to bond with a Turzent because you are really of no species as far as Ura is concerned – a neutral entity. It also means that technically you are not Eshaaru." Volu paused and seemed to sigh. "Poda…you and Warren cannot be bound. His secondary pattern will prevent it," she explained gently. "We cannot change that. You will not be able to consummate the relationship. What happened today will happen each time you try."

His blood boiled with Volu's words. "But that's not right! I didn't mean to bond to Ztar."

Ettwanae looked pale and so full of pain. Warren reached out and pulled her in. Anger filled him at the injustice. Just when he'd found someone who felt so perfect. Yet his rational mind questioned the suddenness of those feelings. 'It's just lust and sex talking,' it pointed out. 'You're being tricked.' He smoothed her hair and took in the wonderful smell of her with a shaky breath. 'More than that,' he countered himself. 'Not trickery. Something truly beautiful nearly happened. I want what we almost had!' his heart and soul proclaimed. She and he were intended for each other. End of argument.

"If what you say is true, the bonding you share with Ztar was accidental – a false bond, but it does not change the situation. Ura bindings are permanent until the death. When Ztar dies, then his pattern will be released from you and you will be free to bond with another, but not until then – assuming you survive his dying."

That gave Warren pause. "What do you mean, if I survive his dying?"

"Some Eshaaru cannot overcome the death of their soulbound and die from the loss."

The situation was becoming more hopeless with each revelation. "They die of a broken heart?"

"More akin to a shattered soul."

Ettwanae placed a hand on Warren's arm. "Not you, though. This is a false bond. Right, Volu?" Her question more of a plea.

"One can hope, Poda."

"So Ztar must die before we can be together? I won't accept that! There must be another way," he raged at no one and everyone. 'Just another example of life dumping its shit on you, Worthington. Another way the universe has screwed you over!' He wanted to attack someone, anything for the cruel injustice.

"Maybe we can be together but not bond." Ettwanae was grasping. "Volu, is that possible? Can we be a pairing without the bonding?"

"I'm sorry, Ettwanae. You are soulbounds. Ura will seek to bind you together every time you attempt first mating and then reject Warren every time. That is the way of your kind. It is not a process you can control no matter how strong your will. My Poda…" the alien that held them within her protective womb sounded on the verge of tears. "Remaining together will be constant torment. Aru will continue to demand that you mate as it has since Warren joined us. The longing will be unrelenting and eat at your soul. It is better you part."

"No-o-o!" Ettwanae cried in anguish and pushed herself out of Warren's arms. "Volu, please, there must be a way. I beg you. We are soulbounds…there is no one else for me. You are condemning us to be alone forever!" she decried the injustice of the verdict Volu doled out.

Warren sat, all strength left him. Ettwanae was at his feet instantly, kneeling on the floor. "We must try. We must! Etxan'Ir will know a way. We will ask it how to break your false bond."

He took Ettwanae's delicate hands into his and squeezed tightly. She was so perfect for him, but once again, life was giving him the shaft. "But how do we find it? The amulet will not activate-" His voice cracked and he swallowed against the tightness in his throat. "It would have been better if we had never met, Ettwanae. I'm sorry beyond words. Please forgive me…" No more words would come. Every cell in his body wanted the woman kneeling before him; to take her into his arms and his bed and join with her, but the intense pain of rejection was still fresh. Sobs of despair pounded his chest to get out, but he held them back for her sake.

"Stay with me. I don't care if we can't mate. Just don't go. I'll endure the torment and any other price to be paid. I'll do whatever it takes to free you." Her soulful appeal tore at his heart while his soul riled in defiance with hers. He gazed deeply into the eyes upturned in desperation. To hell with what's possible and what's not. Bonds be damn. Where's there life, there's hope – he'd always believed that. Warren would not accept the situation was incurable. Maybe they could find a way to break his bond with Ztar.

"Volu, Etxan'Ir supposedly contains the knowledge of the U'larr, right?"

"That is what our history tells us."

"Since they created Eshaarus, it seems reasonable that if there's a way to break a bond, Etxan'Ir contains that knowledge. The quest becomes three-fold. Find the Eshaaru people, a cure for the nannites, and break the bond with Ztar."

Ettwanae smiled past her pain and squeezed Warren's hand back. "We'll do it! We'll find a way."

"Do not build false hopes, my Poda. Warren's bonding may be the first of its kind. There may be no answers out there to find."

"Or all the answers may be out there," she countered, refusing to accept anything else.

Renewed hope shone in her eyes and it touched his heart while passionate yearnings stirred the rest of him. The question was there, too – will you come still with me? He wanted to say yes, yet hesitated. Despite his desire to be with Ettwanae, he needed to step back and re-evaluate. The failed bonding meant the amulet would not guide them, making the search for Etxan'Ir immensely more difficult and take untold time. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his one, slim chance to be free of the nannites slip away. Without something to lead them, he put the odds of finding the hidden repository somewhere between nil and zero. 'Be sensible, Worthington, the situation is hopeless. Don't drag things out any longer.'

"Perhaps out there, but beyond reach." He reopened his eyes and looked into the beautiful, perfect face. "We should let Gatebi and Flint know things didn't work out."

Ettwanae's face fell and his heart did likewise. She stood mutely and entered her bathroom, the door dilating closed behind her.

'Always remember,' Xavier's words whispered to him across space and time, 'where there's life, there's hope.'

"Hope, yes. But through Ettwanae?" he asked into the still silence. "Apparently not."

###

A/N: Warren just doesn't get a break, does he? If you are interested, the scene where Ztar and Warren bonded is in Chapter Two of "Circle Complete." Obvious warning, though – it is a slash scene so don't go there if that will bother you.

Next chapter is short but tense (I hope). Meanwhile, please share your reactions to the failed bonding scene and how you feel about the immediate aftermath. Your reviews keep me at the keyboard!