Jet: (reading outline of chapter) This is so stupid.
Said the boy who lived half of his life in a tree.
Jet: WOULD ANYONE MIND IF I KILLED HER?!
Readers and author: Yes!
Jet: Damn it.
This chapter is dedicated to swimgoddess96 for being my 175th reviewer and for giving me motivation to move quickly on this chapter!
Jet: I think she had a chapter dedicated to her already, too.
(looks back in chapters) Bygones you're right, again!
Jet: Am I ever wrong?
Uh …
Jet: Shut up. Who should we make this chapter for?
Let's make some one up!
Jet: Who?
Uhh… Luke Skywalker?
Jet: Why?
For being kick ass.
Jet: That works. The Avatar Crew Comes to You! is hers and hers alone. If any one takes these ideas without permission-
They will suffer greatly. Happy reading!
Previously in The Avatar Crew Comes to You! :
Me: (makes list in about 4 seconds) Well, the first thing on the list is to catch a turkey.
All: We have to CATCH it?
Me: And a big one at that!
The Avatar Crew and I walk to nearest farm-
Me: (holds up hand full of pencils) Does any one know what these are?
Aang: Randomly appearing pencils?
Me: Yes, but more then that! These are pencils of a different color! (silence a no body gets the Wizard of Oz reference) They're all 5 different colors.
All: Ohhhh…
Me: Each of you will pick one, then match you color with some one else.
Sokka: Why?
Me: To make teams!
Ozai: For what, dare I ask?
Me: By the time I'm done explaining it to you, moron, the chapter will be over. Now, 5 people stand on one side of me and 5 on the other. (they do the obvious with Aang, Zuko Azula, Iroh and Toph on one side and the rest on the other) Zuko, pick a pencil!
Zuko: (picks pencil) Red.
Aang: (picks pencil) Yellow.
Azula: (pick pencil) Blue.
Toph: (pick pencil) Blind.
Ozai: That's not a color!
Me: Yeah, yeah, we all know you have the education of a Kindergartener, Ozai.
Iroh: You're color is green, my dear.
Toph: Thanks, Iroh!
Me: Aww! BFF bonding!
Iroh: (picks pencil) I have purple.
Me: Any of the readers wanna guess why I used the colors BLUE, GREEN, RED, YELLOW and PURPLE? … Anyone? …Anyone?...Cynthia? ((Rugrats reference ahoy!))
Aang: That wasn't random at all, Kimono.
Me: Pick a pencil, mom.
Katara: What?!
Me: Nothing.
Katara: (picks pencil) Blue. (looks at Azula) Oh no.
Sokka: (picks pencil) Green. (looks at Toph) Oh no.
Mai: (picks pencil) Purple. (looks at Iroh) Oh no.
Ty- Lee: (picks pencil) Yellow. (all look at Aang)
All: On no.
Ozai: (picks pencil) Red. (looks at Zuko) Oh no.
Random Coolade guy: OH YEAH!!!
(silence)
Random Coolade guy runs out of chapter-
Me: (turns to Aang) And you say I'm random.
Ozai: No, I say you're nuts.
Me: YOUR NUTS, MORON!
Noah: Which you lack, Ozai. (high-fives me and leaves)
Me: Ok, you guys have 30 mins to catch the biggest turkey GO!
All run off in to turkey field-
Ty-Lee + Aang-
Ty-Lee: I wonder why everyone said "Oh No" when we became a team.
Aang: Yeah I don't get- AWWWW!!! (picks up baby turkey) It's sooooo cute!!!!!
Ty-Lee: AWWW! Cutie!!!
Me: Those two are hopeless.
Toph + Sokka-
Sokka: OK, Toph, can you tell which turkey here is the biggest?
Toph: Yep! (points to turkey walking in circles) That one.
Sokka: (looks at turkey) Ha Ha! Look Toph, this turkey's blind!
Turkey: GOBBLE GOBBLE! (attacks Sokka)
Sokka: Ahhhh!!
Toph: Well whatta know, this turkey's just like me!
Azula + Katara-
Katara: Any idea how we do this?
Azula: We do nothing.
Katara: What?!
Azula: (points to Ty-lee and Aang) They're easily distracted. (points to Sokka and Toph) They'll kill each other. (points to Ozai and Zuko) They're idiots. (points to Mai and Iroh) And the author always forgets about them.
Katara: We'll need a turkey to give Kimono, though.
Azula: (grabs Zuko)
Katara: A REAL turkey.
Azula: (holds up Zuko)
Katara: AZULA!
Ozai + Zuko-
Zuko: (after Azula let go of him) Which looks like the biggest turkey to you?
Ozai: Failure. Dishonorable. Disgrace.
Zuko: (picks up turkey) This looks big enough! Even for Sokka.
Ozai: Weak. Embarrassment. Wimpy.
Zuko: Are you going to insult Aang all day or help me with this turkey?!
Ozai: Stupid.
Iroh + Mai-
Mai: Why did I get stuck with you?
Iroh: Because the author always forgets us while writing her story. We're the perfect team!
Mai: Forgets who?
Me: OK guys! Times up!!
Azula: We win.
Aang: What makes you say that?
Azula: (gives me turkey) We got a turkey. THAT'S why!
All: We got one, too.
Azula: What?! You weren't supposed to catch one! You guys are all idiots!
Ty-Lee, Zuko and Ozai: Gee thanks.
Me: (weighs Azula and Katara's turkey) 40 lbs.
Azula and Katara: SQUEEEE!!!
Me: Who's next?
Ozai: I am.
Zuko: We are!
Me: Well, which is it? AHAHAHAHA!
All: …What?
Me: Forget it. (weights turkey) 41 lbs.
Zuko and Ozai: SQUEEEE!!!
Me: (twitches) Ew. (looks down) Woops! (takes hand of scale) My hand was on the scale! My bad! Your turkey's 39 pounds.
Ozai: (glares and Zuko) Embarrassment. Failure. Can't even catch a big enough turkey.
Me: Ozai, it's very weird for you to be insulting yourself. Aang, Ty-Lee, your turkey please.
Ty-Lee: Ummm… we sorta don't have a big one.
Me: Show it to me anyway!
Aang: (opens hands to revel-
Katara, Me, Sokka, Ozai: AWWWW!!! It's soooooo CUTE!!!
Azula and Zuko look at Ozai with utter horror-
Ozai: What?
Me: (takes baby turkey) this weighs… 2 lbs.
Ty-Lee and Aang: Aw man.
Me: BUT HE IS STILL VERY CUTE!
Ty-Lee and Aang: SQUEEE!!!
Sokka: Our turn! (gives me turkey) by the way, how's my face look? It kinda hurts. (rubs forehead) not so much here. (rubs nose) or here. (rubs cheeks and chin) but here-
Toph: Nope! Ship shape!
Sokka: Ok!
Ozai: (looks at Sokka's face) (girly scream) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sokka: (stamps foot) I knew it.
Katara: (is about to heal Sokka) What happened?
Toph: He got attack by a blind turkey.
All: ……………
3 seconds later-
All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sokka: He snuck up on me!
Me: What ever makes you feel manly, Sokka. (weighs turkey) Oh my god, your turkey is 90 lbs!
Toph and Sokka: OMG SQUEEEEEEEE!!! WE WINS!!!!!
Azula and Katara: OH NOES!!!!!
Me: Well, we found our turkey. Let's go home and- (looks at turkey's leg) Toph, can you come here? (Toph walks over) Can you tell me what THIS says?? (holds up tag on turkey leg)
Toph: No.
Me: Oh, woops. Sorry. SOKKA! (Sokka comes up) What does this say??
Sokka: (reading tag) Sold.
Me: Yeah. WE CAN'T BUY A SOLD TURKEY!!
Sokka: We can't?
Me: NO! Now we'll have to use (gulp) Azula and Katara's.
Azula and Katara: SQUE-
Me: AS LOMG AS AZULA DIDN'T POISIN IT!!
Iroh and Mai: (cough) Author?
Did you hear something, Jet?
Jet: No. (looks down into chapter) Oh! You forgot about Mai and Iroh.
I did? Oops.
Me: Iroh, Mai, do you a have a turkey for us?
Mai: Yup! (slam it on scale)
Iroh: Cooked and everything!
Me: (reads scale) It's cooked, it smells good, its 200 lb. (tears piece off and feeds to Sokka) It's not poisoned. I think I like it!
Ozai: Question!
Aang: Albuquerque! See I can do it too. Snorkel!
Ozai: How are you paying for this?
Me: I don't have to! We just need a replacement turkey.
Mai: Where will we find one?
Me: (stare at Ozai)
Ozai: What?
How does it end? Next time- Thanksgiving dinner!
Jet and author: Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!