Alexa: Hi everyone! Zutarakid50's not feeling good today so I'm going to represent her in the disclaimer room. I'm her friend, Alexa! I like Avatar and a number of animes and mangas. And (looks around before whispering) I'm a Kataang fan. Shh!
Jet: (staring at her) …You're not the Author!!
Alexa: (yells off to author) Is he always this smart?
Yes, now don't bug me.
Alexa: Ok. So this chapter is dedicated to Anawey, Ty-Lee Hyuuga, zutarababe and TrueThinker because they are the only 4 people who reviewed last chapter. Please review, people!! Zutarakid50 accepts anonymous reviews if you don't have a FanFiction account.
Jet: Plus when you don't review, she complains to me.
Alexa: And me!
Jet: Nether Alexa nor the author own Avatar. Thank goodness.
Me: (lying in bed) Ugh…my head…
Katara: Yup, it's official. You're sick.
Me: What?! I can't be sick! I'm a main character! Main characters don't get sick!!
Zuko: I did.
Me: Despite what other may think; you're not the main character. Haven't you ever wondered why it's called Avatar: The Last Airbender?
Azula: And not Zuko: The Weakling?
Sokka: Or Sparky: The Fire Swordsman
Iroh: Or Trogdor: The Burnanator!!
Me: Rock on, Trogdor. But getting back to me; Why am I sick?! All that ever happened to Aang (whispers to Zuko) The main character BTW. (to everyone) is he got mortally wounded.
Ozai: Would you like me to mortally wound you?
Me: (shifts away) I'm good, thanks.
Iroh: Is there anything we can do to speed up your recovery?
Me: Well…
One hour later-
Mai: (reading off the computer) "Then what do you count as your first kiss, Sugar queen?" Everyone was staring at her now, except for Zuko and Sokka. Sokka was examining his boomerang, trying to figure out the best way to cut some poor, Katara-kissing boy's head off.
"Well…um…I did kiss- This is stupid! Why am I reading you a Zutara story?!
Me: Because it will speed up my recovery. Now, who did Katara kiss?
Mai: Ugh. (reads a bit) She kissed…Zuko.
Me: Who?
Mai: Zuko…
Me: I'm sorry; you'll have to say it louder.
Mai: It louder.
Me: That's not what I-
Toph: Hot chocolates ready! (bring in mug to Kimono) Feelin' any better?
Me: A little. But you know what would help? (snaps fingers) MOOOOORRRROOON!!
Ozai: (walks in covers with bruises and cuts) Yes, Kimono?
Me: (clears throat)
Ozai: I mean; Yes (grits teeth) my lord and master?
Me: Get the hammer. (Ozai brings her the hammer) And now- DUN DA DA DA DUN DUN DUN DUN DA DA DA DA DA DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!! (yells megaton hammer music as she hits Ozai with hammer)
Ozai: OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
Meanwhile, on the roof-
Katara: We have to get her better. She's abusing us!
Zuko: I kinda like it this way.
Azula: Only because all you have to do is kiss Katara every few minutes in front of Kimono. I get the grossest pictures shone to me.
Iroh: She keeps telling me to make hot chocolate. I haven't had tea all day!
Sokka: She has me dance for her! Although, I do enjoy the cha-cha slide! (does the dance)
Ty-Lee: She didn't do any thing to me yet!
Me: (from her room) TY-LEE! Get down here!!!
All: Uh-oh.
In Kimono's room-
Ty-Lee: (standing at the foot of Kimono's bed) Yes, Kimono?
Me: Heh-heh-heh… what shall I do with her, my pet?
Noah: (next to Kimono) Make her move her body in a way that would please me…
Me: Eww, no. Go away, pet.
Noah: You can't tell me what to do, you Avatar fanatic.
Me: (pretends to use the force choke on him) I find you lack of faith disturbing.
Azula: I find you're taste in fan-art disturbing.
Toph: I find you use of hammer disturbing.
Ozai: (sitting in the corner all banged up) I find Kimono disturbing altogether.
All: I find Kimono disturbing.
Ozai: You, too?!
Aang: (wearing a dress and lipstick) ((don't ask what Kimono made him do)) You said 'I find Kimono disturbing, altogether.' So we all said together 'I find Kimono disturbing'.
Ozai: No, I said "I find Kimono disturbing altogether."
Ty-Lee: Is there a difference?
Ozai: I didn't use a comma after 'disturbing'. I didn't mean for you guys to say what I said altogether.
Katara: Then what did you mean?
Ozai: I mean all of Kimono disturbed me.
Sokka: As oppose to half of her?
Me: Since the author can't think of a pun for this joke let's go with an old favorite. (punts Noah through wall)
Iroh: While Ozai fixes that hole in the wall-
Ozai: WHO SAYS I WILL?!
Me: I do.
Iroh: -why don't you take a bath Kimono?
Katara: Yeah! That should help your headache go away.
Me: OK! (goes into bathroom)
At Greg's house-
Noah: (lands in Greg's living room) Oww…
Greg: Did Operation: Get Ty-lee To Do Something Really Sexy work?
Noah: No.
Greg: Fooie.
Back at Kimono's-
Ozai: Ok, I'm done with the hole. I'll tell Kimono. (walks into her bathroom) Kimono. I'm done fixing the- (sees that she's sitting naked in the tub)
Me and Ozai: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Pervert! (stands up and throws soap at him)
Ozai: Don't stand up! (covers eyes) I didn't need to see this! (tries to run out but runs into a wall)
Matthew: I heard my little sister scream! What happened?! (looks from Ozai to Kimono to Ozai) Did you walk in on my sister? (cracks knuckles)
Ozai: Oh. Crap.
3 hours later in the hospital-
Ozai has 2 broken shins, 6 broken fingers, a sprained arm and a cracked skull.
Azula: (holding ice pack on Ozai's head) Now, what have we learned?
Ozai: Knock first.
Azula: Good boy.
Back at the house-
Me: I feel horrible. (walks over to Katara) Katara, can I have something for my head?
Katara: A hat perhaps?
Kimono stares at Katara. Then, she walks into her room, pulls the covers over her head, and pretends to cry.
Katara: HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, Kimono! I couldn't resist!
Me: Such…a…bad…pun!
Alexa: ROFL OMG that was sooo funny! But really short...
Jet: Please review and send medicine for the author. I want this girl out of here and Zutarakid50 back!
Alexa: Read and review! Next chapter; a Christmas chapter!!!
I am awesome,
Alexa!!!!!
Me: For the author!!! (holds up sign that says-
I rule Hyrule,
Kimono