Jet: So, explain to me how in chapter 26, you had a Christmas Party and now, only 6 chapters later, you have one again.
No.
Fair enough, procrastinator.
(hits Jet with half finished puzzle) Hey, readers! Wanna know something funny?!
Jet: They just want the chap-
When I wrote the last chapter, I wasn't really sick. Noah was (pneumonia: inflammation of the lungs with congestion.). He gave me the idea. And now, writing this chapter, I'm sick! I'm just coughing a lot though, not serious.
Jet: You write about Kimono getting sick, and now you're sick. (sing-song voice) Irony!
This chapter is dedicated to my 258th reviewer; Maikofan-and-proud-of-it. Who read this all the way from Belgium! Thanks for sticking with me and all my not-usually-Maikoness!!
Jet: Is 'Maikoness' a word?
Thanks for all you nice reviews, guys! Happy reading!!!
Jet: Why aren't you paying attention to me?!
Did you say something?
Jet: (sigh) She doesn't own Avatar, but sometimes, she owns me.
You're just bad at Fire Emblem.
Katara: Oh, crap! I nearly forgot! I didn't give Zuko his Christmas present!
Me: (typing fan fiction) Oh, that's great I- (stops and looks at Katara) You what?
Katara: Last year. At the secret Santa gift exchange. I picked Zuko but forgot to give him his present.
Iroh: How long did you have to forget before is qualifies as 'I COMPLETELY forgot'?
Katara: Over a year.
Iroh: You just make the cut off then.
Me: YOU DIDN'T GIVE ZUKO A PRESENT?!
Toph: (walks in) What's with all the yelling?!
Me: ZUKO WENT 'CHRISTMAS-PRESENTLESS' LAST YEAR?!
Toph: What?
Katara: I forgot to give Zuko a Christmas present last year.
Toph: So why is Kimono freaking out?
Iroh: Good question.
Me: HOW COULD I, A ZUTARA SHIPPER, LET THAT HAPPEN??!!
Iroh, Katara and Toph: Oh yeah, she's obsessive.
Me: And the others aren't?!
Ty-Lee: (runs in) I'm not obsessive!
Toph: What is she talking about?
Ty-Lee: Everyone beside us 3-
Katara: 4.
Ty-Lee: Right, everyone beside us 4 hates Zutara.
Katara: I don't think HATE is the right word-
Me: Yeah, methinks they loathe it. Can you imagine if they made a secret club just for Zutara haters?
In basement-
Ozai: Since when have we had a basement?
Sokka: Shut up. Anyone wanna guess why I gathered you all here?
Aang: You sense a disturbance in the force?
Sokka: Yes! Wait- how'd you know?
Aang: The author hasn't used that Star Wars reference yet.
Sokka: Whatever, anyway, I feel like some Zutara is about to happen.
Mai: What makes you think that?
Aang: I just said so! Sokka sensed a dis-
Sokka: Not important! The point is; we need to find out who is enforcing the Zutara, when it will happen and how we can stop them.
Azula: Considering that Katara, Zuko, Iroh, Ty-Lee and Kimono are the only ones not in the A.Z.M.U.A.Z, they're our targets.
Ozai: A.Z.M.U.A.Z? Is that what we're called?
Mai: Did you miss the naming meeting?
Ozai: This is the first I'm hearing of ANY Zutara-haters club!
Sokka: It stands for;
Anti
Zutara Club
Made
Up of
Anti
Zutarians
Azula: Now, we need a plan!
Kimono, Iroh, Katara, Toph and Ty-Lee (like idiots) left the A.Z.M.U.A.Z. alone while they went to Greg's house-
Me: So what did you get Zuko?!
Katara: You couldn't have asked me at your own house?
Me: No. So what'd you get'em??!!
Ty-Lee: (points at Greg who is attached to her arm) Does he need to be here?
Greg: Ty-Lee's in my house!!
Iroh: Where are you parents, Greg?
Greg: Still looking for their car on the other side of that cliff Kimono, if that IS your real name.
Toph: Don't blame Kimono! Sokka was the one driving your car!
Me: I say we just blame Moron and save everyone pointing the finger.
Katara: Right, so why did we leave the house again?
Me: I don't want the non-zutaras to hear that you love Zuko.
Katara: But I just-
Greg: So what DID you get him?
Katara: I got him-
Iroh: Kimono, do you include Zuko in this 'Zutara-hates' club of your imagination?
Me: No, why?
Iroh: Because that means we left him in a house with a ton of anti-Zutara energy that could easily influence how he feels about our young water bender here.
Me: Which, of course, in plain english means…?
Toph: You left Zuko in a house filled with people who will convince him that Zutara is bad, which, in your little world, is a bad thing.
Me: I did that?
Ty-Lee: Yup.
Me: Oh…crap…
At the house-
Aang: Wow, who knew they'd be dumb enough to leave us here.
Ozai: Never underestimate Kimono's stupidity.
Sokka: Oh, your calling her stupid!
Ozai: Yeah. So what's the plan, Azula?
Azula: We Zuko-nap Zuko and persuade him that Zutara is bad.
Mai: 'Zuko-nap'? Who made that word?
Ozai: I think Ursa did when she got Zuko to take a nap when he was a baby.
Sokka, Azula, Aang and Mai: Wrong kind of nap, twit.
Somewhere else in the house-
Noah: (runs into wall but can't break through) Owwww… HIC!
Zuko: The hell was that? (walks around house and sees Noah) What are YOU doing here?!
Noah: Trying to-HIC- join the-HIC- A.Z.M.U.A.Z-HIC-something or other…
Zuko: You're 12 and you're drunk?
Noah: No-HIC-
Zuko: Right, so what's the A.Z.M.U.A.Z?
Noah: I-HIC- can't remember.-HIC- I think it stands-HIC- for
Any
Zuko
May
Untie
Aang
Z-word
Zuko: That doesn't make any sense.
Noah: -HIC- Nope.
Zuko: So why are you hiccupping?
Noah: Raided Kimono's –HIC- pantry and found-HIC- eggnog.
Zuko: But the last time we had eggnog was- Oh no.
Flash back to last year's Christmas party-
Toph: Did you guys bring anything for the party?
Anawey: Sure did! Here! (gives Kimono bowl) Pumpkin flavored eggnog!
Iroh: Why didn't you bring tea?!
Anawey: People drink a lot of eggnog around Christmas so I thought it would be better than tea.
Iroh: (sniff) Nothings better than tea.
Anawey: But its pumpkin flavored!
Aang: Why pumpkin?
Anawey: 'Cause.
End flash back-
Zuko: No wonder you're acting drunk; that Eggnog must have expired months ago!
Noah: That explains why-HIC- I feel-HIC- feel-HIC- feel-HIC-
Zuko: I get it. By the why, do you know where everyone is? They left with out saying anything.
Noah: Why are you –HIC- asking me? –HIC- I'm drrrrruuuuuunnnnk. (passes out)
Ty-Lee: Have either of you seen Kimono? She went running home and we lost her.
Noah: I'm cured by Ty-Lee!! (attaches to Ty-Lee's arm) I is not drunk.
Iroh: Not that we can tell the difference.
Zuko: Where have you guys been?! I've been looking every where!
Katara: Um, Zuko? I hav-
Noah: Are we looking for Kimono? I know where she is!!
All but Katara: Where?!
Katara: But Zuko-
Noah: Follow me!! (runs pulling Ty-Lee)
Everyone runs after him-
Katara: But- (net is thrown over her) HEY! WHAT'S GOING-(gets dragged away) Why won't any one let me finish a sen-
Person who captured her: Shut it!
With Kimono finders-
Noah: Here she is! (points to Kimono)
Me: (shows them little plastic sword) This sword sliced Freeza in half, you know…
All: Who?
Noah: After I drank the eggnog, Kimono caught me and drank some herself. Now she's only talking in Dragon Ball Z manga quotes.
Zuko: But just because the eggnog went bad doesn't mean she should be hallucinating!
In the real world-
Kohrox.: (reading this chapter) They'll never guess that I spiked the eggnog with cactus juice! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Back in the story-
Toph: Sokka and Zuko acted this way on cactus juice. Maybe Kohrox spiked it like she did with Zuko's cake.
Kohrox.: Crap.
In the story-
Me: Feels like something's up…A huge cluster of chi far away…
Iroh: What is she talking about?
Me: Well… this may be the battle I've been waiting for…the first battle when I can use my full powers!
Ty-Lee: I think she's starting to make sense!
Zuko: Is there something wrong, Kimono? Is some one after use?!
Me:…….
Toph: Kimono, you ok?
Me:…….
Iroh: Say something! Are you trying to warn use of some great danger?!
Me:…OH BOY!! TIME FOR ANOTHER SLICE!!! (turns to Noah) Hey, don't lizards' tails grow back?!
Noah: (shrugs)
All: We lost her…
Zuko: Wait, didn't Katara want to give me something before?
Random platform rises from the ground with the A.Z.M.U.A.Z and a tied up Katara on it-
Mai: Hahaha! We have captured Katara! She will never give you anything!! Hahaha!!
Me: Excellent! I might be able to win this- And I can prevent Cell's completion if I can beat even just one Android!!
All: …..
Mai: What's up with her?
Ty-Lee: Never mind. Just let Katara go!
Azula: Sorry, Ty-Lee. But we need to make sure Zutara never happens here!
Noah: Ooo! Can I help?
Kittypride16, Kiminator Mark XII and Liz6363: We're here to help!!
Toph: Good! We're gonna need it for these guys!
Kittypride16: No, you miss understand-
Kiminator Mark XII: We're here to help the A.Z.M.U.A.Z!
Liz6363: We're Anti-Zutarian's just like them!
Memorycutie, Greg and Wargames50: We can help you, Zutarians!
Zuko: But I'm-
Greg: Ty-Lee!! (grabs onto Ty-Lee and kicks Noah to A.Z.M.U.A.Z.)
Iroh: (to Wargames50) Aren't you the same person as Zutarakid50?
Wargames: Only on Deviantart and Runescape and-
Toph: How can you be here if you're also the author?
Wargames: She got tired of looking for Zutara readers so she sent me to help you guys! (takes out light saber) Now who can I kill?
Memorycutie: No one! We just wanna beat them up!
Wargames: Aw…
Kittypride: (snort) Like you could beat us up!
Memorycutie: (sarcastically) Oh I am so scared of some one named 'Kittypride'!
Liz: 'Memorycutie' isn't much better!
Wargames: And what's up with 'Kiminator Mark XII'? If you're number 12 what happened to the first 11?!
Kiminator: Shut up!
As they fight, Katara attempts to squirm away-
Noah: (pulls her back) Oh no you don't.
Zuko: Ok, the fans are annoying. We should get rid of them.
Ozai: I couldn't agree more.
The world is about to blow up because Ozai agreed with Zuko but the author glares at the world and it stops.
Author: That's what I thought.
Back in the not-blown-up story-
Me: Please speak in a tongue we understand, not Namekian. We know you can speak our language.
Greg: Kimono's right! We should send them on a pointless errand.
Sokka: You can understand her?
Greg: When you're her friend since Elementary school, you learn her language.
Me: I get it!! An eye for an eye!! A fatso for a fatso!!
Greg: Good idea! Let's send them to the weapons store!
All: How do you TRANSLATE that?!
Ozai: Oh well. Hey, fan girls!!!
Fighting readers: Yeah?
Ozai: We want you to go to the weapons store and buy us stuff we can fight with!
Readers: OK! (run out of house)
Sokka: (picks up bowl) What's this? (smells it) Mmmmm… Eggnog! (drinks some)
Toph, Zuko, Ty-Lee, Iroh and Noah: No don't-
Sokka: (singing) 5 little sparkle frogs, SITTIN' ON A SPARKLE LOG, eating the most delicious bugs; YUM YUM! One jumped in to the pool, FOR IT WAS NICE AND COOL, now there are 4 sparkle frogs; RIBBIT RIBBIT!
Azula: I bet you 10 bucks that's going to get annoying.
Sokka: (singing) 4 little sparkle frogs, SITTIN' ON A SPARKLE LOG-
Ozai: (hands Azula 10 bucks)
Zuko: By the way, what does A.Z.M.U.A.Z stand for?
Sokka: It sttttttaaaannnndsss for: Aangie Zipara tub May Uck tob Aangie Zipartis! Now; 3 little sparkle frogs-
Zuko: Eh?
Iroh: Whatever; just give back Katara!!
Ozai: (stand in front of tied up Katara) What do you mean? Katara's not here!
Me: How amusing. The dumb… playing dumb!
Ozai: Oh she did that quote on purpose!!
Ty-Lee: Quick; while they're fighting! (drags Zuko away)
Azula: We'll never give Katara back!
Aang: Yeah! She's mine!
Katara: (whispers) Help me.
Toph: Then we'll take her by force! (throws rock at Ozai)
Ozai: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs behind Azula)
Me: …I can't believe you!! I'm the Lord of Worlds!! The most important person in the universe!! I'm bigger than Kami-sama! You killed me to save one single planet?!!
Aang: What does that mean?
Greg: 'Moron'
Ozai: What?! (charges at Kimono)
Xx AND AGAIN THE TEXT FORMAT CHANGES!!!!!!! Xx
Toph threw her hands palm-up in the air creating a slab of earth in front of Kimono. Ozai reverberated off the pillar of earth, did a flip in mid-air and landed back on his feet. Toph gave him no time to recover and fired the slab of rock at him as soon as he hit the ground. Suddenly Aang sprung in front of the ex-Fire Lord and split the rock in half, which passed around them harmlessly.
"We won't let you hurt Kimono or keep Katara!" Toph shouted as Iroh set himself in an attack stance at her side.
"If you want her; you'll have to get though us!" Aang answered just as loudly. Azula and Mai appeared next to him. Azula fist were lit with blue fire and Mai had her sharpest knife out.
"ATTACK!!" Ozai screamed and all four of them attacked. Iroh easily blocked Azula's blasts but could not stop Mai's knifes that, using the flames as cover, stuck him to the wall behind him. Aang hopped on his glider, knowing that if he attacked Toph on the ground, she would see him immediately. As he sped near her, he shot fire at her feet, making the blind girl stumble backward. Ozai took this opportunity to charge at Toph. He pulled back his fist to strike her but he stopped. He couldn't move for some reason. He looked around and saw that Ty-Lee had come back and she had blocked his chi.
"Sorry, Loser Lord, but you're out of this fight!" She said with a huge smile and she ran off the help Iroh. Gregory had already taken out the two knifes holding Iroh's left arm and was working furiously on his right. Azula noticed this and shot a bolt of lighting at the teen. Greg yelled and ducked, causing the attack to hit the wall above Iroh's right arm. The part of the wall Iroh's arm had been pinned to crumple away, freeing his arm. Azula immediately shot flame after flame at her uncle, each one deflected back at the ex-princess. Mai readied her knifes to go through the next flame Azula shot and hit Iroh yet again. Before she could throw them, her arm went limp.
"Hey!" Shouted the distress noblewomen to Ty-Lee's retreating back. Ty-Lee didn't hear her friend's cry. She jumped in the air and kick Azula on the side of the face just as Iroh redirected a jet of fire back at her. Azula went flying into the other wall as Ty-Lee landed back on her feet. She didn't see the fire heading right for her. Greg did though and he ran at Ty-Lee, tackled her to the ground and held her there until the danger past over them.
"Thanks, Greg! I owe you one!" Ty-Lee said and jumped up to go after Katara with Iroh. Noah had seen the fire heading straight for his crush and ran off to help her, abandoning his post next to Katara, who was still unable to move. After Ty-Lee was saved by Greg, he made it his goal to thank the older teen for saving the acrobat and then kill him for holding her that close. Before Noah made it that far, however, Ty-Lee ran toward him, did a back flip over his head and landed on Noah's other side closer to where Katara lay. She looked back at him and winked flirtatiously before running to catch up with Iroh. Noah smiled.
"She likes me!" He and Greg cried victoriously at the same time. That's when Noah did a double take. "They're going after Katara!" He screamed. This alerted Toph and Aang fighting the other side of the massive room. Aang immediately formed an air scoter and speed toward them while Toph bended the slab of earth she was standing on so she could follow the air bender. Ozai attempted to move but his chi was still blocked.
'Damn…' he thought bitterly. Meanwhile, Aang had sent a gale if wind at Ty-Lee and Iroh, but Toph was determined to save her friends. She made rock suit and placed herself between Aang and her fellow Zutarians. Ty-Lee and Iroh were safe but Aang was taken by surprise. Consequently, he was unprepared for the fists of his opposite element that Toph fired from her suit. One missed while the other hit Aang's stomach. He went speeding backward to where he had been fighting Toph.
Ozai smiled evilly. He could move again! He sprang up and ran to catch up with his brother and Ty-Lee, who had begun untying Katara. Without his fire bending, there wasn't much he could do against the two of them at once so he looked for reinforcements.
"Azula!" He yelled. She was still unconscious. "Mai!" No good, the arm Ty-Lee hit was unmovable. The other was in the unyielding grasp of Greg with Noah trying to pry him off. Ozai had reached the spot with Iroh and Ty-Lee. He got ready to kick Iroh's side where he knew he was weakest.
Without warning, a gust of wind from behind Ozai threw him into a wall-
Ozai: Aang! The hell is wrong with you?!
Aang: Oops! Sorry, man, I'm not used to you being on my side.
Katara: I'm free!!
A.Z.M.U.A.Z: Crap.
Toph: Yeah! We got Katara and Zuko!
Me: No, Piccolo! Who'll teach Trunks and Goten if you die?!
Greg: She means 'Yay Zutara!!'
Mai: How much longer is she going to talk like that?
Zuko: (whispers to Ty-Lee from outside room) Pisst! Ty-Lee!
Ty-Lee: Yeah?
Zuko: Are you sure no one will recognize me if I'm dressed like this?
Ty-Lee: Positive! Now get out here!
Zuko: (walks in room dressed as Santa Claus) Ho-Ho-Ho! Don't pay attention to me! I'm just St. Nick! Ho-Ho-Ho!!
All: (look at Zuko)
Zuko: Ho-Ho-Ho?
Mai and Azula: No-No-No…
Readers: Ok! We're back from the st- (stare at Zuko)
10 hours later-
Zuko: Ok, it wasn't that funny!
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YES IT WAS! HAHAHAHAHA!
Katara: O-ok (sniggers) St. Zuko, I wanna give you something for Christmas. (holds out gift)
Zuko: Oh wow! It's a-
Sokka: -SPARKLE FROGS!
Zuko: Uh, no it's a-
Kiminator: (carrying armful of ray guns) Hey! Is that the pumpkin eggnog from chapter 27?!
Kittypride: (carrying armful of bombs) I think so!
Liz: (hold a lot of sharp sticks) I want some!
Memorycutie and Wargames: (together holding a ship canon) I want some too! (all of them drink some)
Aang: Ah, Christmas time. The time of year were enemies come together-
Toph: So they can all do something stupid at the same time.
Iroh: Yep.
A.Z.M.U.A.Z and Katara but not Noah: What?
Ty-Lee: We're all gonna die…
Katara: Why?
Me: Think about it! 5 readers, in the middle of a shipping battle, hold deadly weapons and hyper on cactus juice!
A.Z.M.U.A.Z and Katara but not Noah: What?! It's in the eggnog?!
Greg: Yep.
Noah: We're dead! We're dead!! (runs though wall out of house)
Ozai: Wait a minute; you said something!
Me: Real observant there, Moron.
Ozai: No I mean; either that was a reeeeeaaaaallllly specific quote from Dragon Ball Z or you're back to normal!
Me: The second one.
Sokka: I'm ok too.
Mai: What should we do with the readers?
Azula: Has anyone noticed that they haven't moved?
Ty-Lee: Really? (looks at readers) You're right!
Wargames: …
Zuko: I think she's gonna say something!
Wargames: (looks at Katara and Aang) Why aren't you two kissing?
-Silence-
All: AAAAAHHHHH!!! A ZUTARA SHIPPER ASKED FOR KATAANG!!
Liz: Where's the Zutara?
-Silence-
All: AAAAAHHHHH!!! A KATAANG SHIPPER ASKED FOR ZUTARA!!!
Greg: (stunned) You know what? I'm gonna go home and…wait for the apocalypse.
Me: I'll come with you …
Zuko and Katara: Me too.
Aang: Me three.
Aang, Zuko, Katara, Greg and Me all go to Greg's house.
9.666 hours later-
Me: Ok, guys, lets go back to see what's left of the place.
All: (scared) O-ok…
At Kimono's house-
Mai: Pllllay that sssong again!!
Iroh: Kaaayyyy!!! (plays silent night on piano)
Ty-Lee: (sings) Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the waaaaaay!!
Ozai and Liz: (singing) Santa Claus is coming; to TOOOOOOOOWWWWN!!!
Toph and Kittypride: (singing) Oh Christmas Tree, OH CHRISTMAS TREE!!
Memorycutie: He sees you when you're sleeping-
Wargames: He knows when you're awake-
Azula and Sokka: He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake!
All: Hey! (continue singing)
Zuko, Katara, Greg and Aang: (look at each other, shrug and all drink the eggnog)
Me: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Greg; pass me the eggnog
Noah: Hey guys! What's going- (sees everyone acting drunk) Oooook then! Hey Kimono, pass me the egg- DON'T FINISH IT WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!
So there you go!
Jet: You actually finished it before Christmas this time!
Shut UP! And um…about the fight scene;
Do NOT ask how big that #$%-ing room is.
Please tell me how it is. It's my first time writing a fight scene.
I tried keeping every one in character in it. How did I do?
At any rate, sorry for not asking the readers in this if I could use them. I hope you don't mind! If you do SOOOOOOORRRRY!!
Jet: I think I should mention that the Author doesn't own Dragon Ball Z.
By the way, the reason Zuko was dresses as Santa was for 3VAD127. You should read the Zuko/Sokka Christmas one-shot she/he wrote.
Jet: You really don't know if it's a boy or girl?
Last – er- second to last thing; I'm sorry I haven't been replaying to your reviews. I really like them!! Last thing-
Jet: Finally!
I've got a Christmas present I think all will like after this author's note. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Have a great winter break! (I know I will!)
I rule Hyrule,
Kimono
Aftermath-
Zuko: Ohh…my head. (looks up) When did we get mistletoe? (looks down) And where are the socks I got for my birthday?
Me: (hiding with a camera) This'll be good!
Zuko: (looks around) So, who do I kiss? (sees Mai and Katara on ether side of him) Hmm… (kiss both)
Me: Hey! You were supposed to kiss Katara!!
Zuko: Well sorry for spoiling your fantasy!
Aang: (wakes up and sees mistletoe) Oh, cool! I get kiss Katara and Toph! (kisses them)
Me: Help me…
Katara: (wakes up) What's going on?
Mai: (wakes up) Yawn! Why do I feel like I just missed some Maiko?
Zuko: Because you d- (looks at Kimono's feet) Why are my socks on your feet?!
Me: (looks down at feet then looks back up) Well what do you do with socks?
Zuko: Give them back!
Me: (backs in a corner) Nooo!!!
Ty-Lee: (walks in) Hey look! Kimono's under the mistletoe!
Me: Really? (looks up) Ugh. Who do I have to-
Ozai: (wakes up) Would you guys keep it down? I'm trying to- (looks up and sees mistletoe) I have to kiss-
Me: I have to kiss-
Both: You?!
Me: (wakes up) AHHHHHH!!!!
Azula: (wakes up) What?! What is it?!
Sokka and Aang: Is something wrong?!
Me: I had a dream that…Moron…WAAAA!!!! (cries)
Azula: Any dream you had of my daddy you can keep to yourself! (looks up and sees mistletoe) Oh crap (is sitting between Sokka and Aang)
Sokka and Aang: We have to kiss you?!
Sokka: (wakes up) AAAAHHH!!
Ty-Lee: What?!
Sokka: Oh…it's noth- MISTLETOE!
Ty-Lee: What?! (looks up) I get to kiss Sokka!!
Azula: (wakes up) AAAAHH!! WHY DID I DREAM THAT?!
Iroh: Dream what?
Azula: (looks up and sees mistletoe above Azula and Iroh)
Readers: (wake up) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! THE SLASH! THE SLASH!!
Read and Review!!!
I rule Hyrule,
Jet and Kimono
Uh, Jet?
Jet: Yeah?
Oh nothing. Merry Christmas, Jet.
Jet: Happy New Year, Zutarakid50.
Ozai: (wakes up) AAAAAHHH!! The author was nice to Jet!!!
Me: (calling from another room) Go to sleep, Moron!