Alexa: Fooled you!! This is a Valentines Day chapter. It has nothing to do with the A.Z.M.U.A.Z.!
Yeah, hi guys. The reason this headache's here is because Jet ran into the chapter already so I need her.
Alexa: Hey readers!!
You're not acting like Jet at all.
Alexa: Hmm…how's this; DIEFIRENATIONDIE!!!!!
Oh wow. It's like he's right here with us.
Alexa: Told you I was good! And why can't I ever be in the chapter?
Cuz I said so.
Alexa: So what if you said so! I'm the one who takes karate! I'll make you put me in!
No you won't.
Alexa: I know…
Well people, Alexa's right; this is a Valentines chapter!
Alexa: And Ursa's back! Because this one (points to author) is a crazy Urzai fan girl!
It's true. I'm a sucker for them. Back to subject- this chapter (chapter 33 by the way. I made it THAT far) is dedicated to…you know what? I'm not gonna dedicate it to a reader today.
Alexa: Eh? Who then? And why not?!
While I'm glad I'm getting a few new readers, I'd like more reviews from other readers who have read past chapters and just haven't come back. So this chapter is dedicated to…the guy who invented cheese!
Alexa: Uh…why?
BECAUSE I'M THE AUTHOR!!
Alexa: (scared) …'k.
And since you're Jet today; say what everyone knows.
Alexa: (puts on Jet costume) Zutarakid50 has all 3 season of Avatar on DVD, both Avatar magazines, a Jet, Zuko and Aang action figure, Zuko's ship in Lego form and an Aang fighting Zuko puzzle that she did with Greg.
Gee, is that all.
Alexa: Oh! And she doesn't actually own Avatar.
Now that the Author's note is almost a page long; here's the chapter! Happy reading!!!
Ursa: Hey guys! I'm back!
All: (playing Wii and not paying attention) Yeah, hi.
Ursa: Uhhh…guys?
All: (still not paying attention)
Ursa: Zuko? Iroh? Any one?
Iroh: (looks up) URSA! Your back! Why didn't you say something!
Ursa: (sighs)
All: (look up) Did you say URSA?!
Me: (bows at feet) Fire Lady Ursa!
Zuko: Mommy!
Azula: Mom!
Ozai: Ursa?!
Zuko: Mommy! (now it's a page long)
Toph: You said 'Mommy' twice.
Zuko: Because I love her twice as much!
Me: Now that Ursa's here I have any announcement!
Sokka: I have a bad feeling about this.
Me: We're going to do a give exchange for Valentines Day!
Sokka: Bad feeling confirmed.
Toph: Why didn't we do this last year?
Me: Because the author's an idiot. (rock falls from sky and hits her on head) OW! It's true!!
Author: I know, I just love doing that.
Me: Here's the deal. We're going to do this like they do it Japan! All the girls give their stuff on February 14th and the guys give their stuff on March 14th.
Ursa: What does it make a difference that I'm here?
Ozai: And why does it sound like you knew she was coming?
Me: Good question, Ursa.
Ozai: Why are you so mean to me?!
Me: Because I don't like you, Moron. I thought that was obvious.
Ozai: You don't like me?!
Sokka: And he holds true to his nickname.
Ozai: I have a nickname?
Me and Sokka: (head slap) Ohhhhhh idiot.
Ozai: Well someone here must like me!
Zuko: Nope.
Aang: Uh-uh.
Sokka: (shakes head)
Toph: Never.
Katara: No.
Iroh: Not really.
Mai: You hurt Zuko so I say no.
Ty-Lee: Sokka said no so (shakes head)
Me: (Ozai looks at her with puppy dog eyes) Heh-heh, Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (takes picture) But that face is so going on the Internet!
Ozai: (near tears) You like me, right Azula?
Azula: I-
Toph: She doesn't count. She's a psycho.
Azula: Aww..
All look at Ursa-
Ursa: What?
Aang: Do you like Ozai?
Ursa: Well, I-
Zuko: Of course not! He banished her!
Iroh: But she loved him before that.
Katara: He's a horrible person!
Ty-Lee: Maybe he wasn't mean to her!
Toph: He was gonna burn the earth!
Me: BUT I WANT URZAI ACTION!!
Everyone stares at her-
Katara: You like something other than Zutara?
Toph: Or Taang?
Ozai: Is that why Ursa's here?
Mai: What's an Urzai?
Me: Yes, yes, still hate you and WHAT?! (grabs Mai by shirt) You've never heard of Urzai?!
Zuko and Azula: Is it something gross?
Me: Do you like picturing your parents making out?
Zuko: EWW!!
Azula: GRRROOSS!!
Both: Why would you like that?! You're SICK!!!
Me: I would've taken a 'no'…and lots of people like it!
Sokka: No that we've established that no one likes Ozai-
Ursa: But-
Sokka: -how are we going to get gifts for Valentines Day?
Me: You're making your own stuff. I'm not taking you guys shopping anywhere EVER!
Azula: But Noah has another sale. Lets go there!
Everyone looks outside where Noah is waving at us next to a sign that says 'SALE Ty-Lee gets 100% off discount.'-
Me: . Make it yourselves, lazy cast.
Ty-Lee: We're not lazy!
Me: Yes you are! You're too lazy to make you own present!
Aang: I saved the world!
Zuko and Katara: We fought Azula!
Sokka: I got sword training!
Iroh: I took back a city!
Me: Well you've all been lazy since you got here.
Ozai: That's your fault! You broke the T.V we used to get back in the first place!
Me: (can't think of anything else to say) …so?
Azula: Wait a minute; if the only way to get between our world and yours is gone- how did mom get here?
Me: If I told you I would have to KILL YOU.
Ty-Lee: Uh…switching from that subject- what should we make for Valentines Day?
Me: You could make chocolate or pick some flowers outside-
Greg: Or you could make chocolate flowers!
Jet: Just don't put them in the sun.
Greg: They won't grow; they'll melt.
Katara: How would you water them?
Greg: You couldn't really.
Sokka: You could water them with milk!
Mai: But then you wouldn't be watering them, you'd be milking them.
Ursa: What would you use instead of plant food?
10 minutes later-
Me: Let me make this simple: Don't make chocolate flowers and Greg go away.
Greg: Fine. Have fun Jet! (runs back to house)
Azula: Did you say Jet?! (sees Jet) Jetty!! (runs at him)
Jet: Zuko!
Zuko: WHAT?!
Jet: I mean- 'Zula! (runs at her and they hug)
Toph: He's been here for over ten minutes and you just noticed him?!
Author: Actually I forgot to put him in until this point so I'm on Azula's side here.
Toph: Freaks.
Me: Sooo…yeah. Go make things. (every one runs away)
Ozai: (tries to run but gets caught in mousetrap) AHHH!!!!! HelpmeIcan'tnmoveI'mstuck!!!! Kimono, why do you have a mousetrap?!
Me: To keep vermin like you from running away.
Ozai: I'm not like some cockroach-rat! I'm the Fire-
Me: (coughs)
Ozai: Ok- EX Fire Lord! You can't treat me like this!
Me: Can too!
Ozai: Can not!
Me: Can too!
Ozai: Can not!
Me: Can too!
Ozai: Can not!
Me: Can too!
Ozai: Can not!
Me: Can too!
Ozai: Can not!
Me: And now that we're talking about Ursa-
Ozai: WE WERE NOT!
Me: -I'm going to help you get a good gift for her!
Ozai: Who said I was going to get her anything and can you take off the mouse trap?
Me: Ursa deserves a good gift! You missed her, right?
Ozai: About this mouse trap-
Me: Lets go!!! (grabs Ozai by the mouse trap and runs out of house)
Ozai: (being dragged along) Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow-
Iroh: Hey, where's Kimono?
Ursa: And where's Ozai?
Mai: They're probably making out somewhere.
Somewhere-
Me: (randomly walks into a wall) Ouch!
Ozai: What's with you?
Me: Nothing, I just get the feeling that someone just said something gross.
At the house-
Mai: (tied up in closet) I was just trying to be funny!
All: You're not!
Aang: Hey guys- look at this note from Kimono!
Dear Idiots, Iroh and Ursa,
I'm going shopping with Moron for reasons that have nothing to do with Ursa. To make sure things don't get out of hand, Zhao is in charge. Ursa's second in command. Good luck with your gifts!
-Kimono
P.S- Don't give Zhao chocolate.
Ty-Lee: Wait- whose in charge?
Zhao: (crashes through door) I am!
All: AHH!! (runs to door) Ozai's not here! Whose gonna fix this?!
Zhao: Dudes remember me?
All: (looks over) AHH!!! A talking monkey!
Zhao: I'm not a monkey! It's me Zhao! I'm in charge now!
Zuko: I'm not taking orders from you!
Mai: (from closet) Nether am I!
Zhao: What if I let you out?
Mai: ……listen to Zhao every one. (Zhao lets her out)
Katara: Traitor!
Sokka: Pist! Aang, come here.
Aang: (leaves fight and follows Sokka into kitchen) What's up?
Sokka: It says in Kimono's letter not to give Zhao chocolate, right?
Aang: Yeah? So?
Sokka: Why don't we give him some? Maybe something good will happen!
Aang: I don't know, Sokka. Kimono told us no to and-
Sokka: Do you want to take orders from Commander-
Zhao: (from other room) I'm an Admiral!
Sokka: Do you want to take orders from Admiral Monkey?
Aang: …Fine. Lets make some chocolate!
20 minutes later (I don't know how long it takes to make chocolate so bear with me)-
Zhao: Slave boy! More tea!
Jet: (gives Zhao tea) This is madness…
Zhao: (stops drinking tea and glares at Jet) 'Madness'? (get up) THIS IS-
Zuko: Don't say it!
Zhao: Don't order me around!
Zuko: I'll do what I want!
Azula: Stop making Jetty your slave!
Zhao: No!
Iroh: (in kitchen making tea) Sigh…why did Kimono leave him in charge?
Katara: I have no idea.
Mai: (hanging from ceiling by ankle) Maybe she hates us?
Iroh and Katara: Shut up, traitor.
Aang and Sokka: Oh Zhaaaaaaao!
Zhao: What?
Aang: Wanna try our chocolate?
Sokka: It's really good!
Meanwhile in the hall of Justice-
Superman: Get out of here!
Meanwhile with Kimono and Ozai at the mall-
Me: Oooo!! Lets go there! (points at candy shop)
Ozai: I thought we were here for Ursa?
Me: Yeah but I'm gonna need a large lollypop to get through this.
After getting large lollypop-
Ozai: How about there? (points to Victoria Secret)
Me: (licks lollypop) Not on your life.
Ozai: That's not saying much in your case.
Me: Not on the author's life.
Author: Hey!
Me: And what are you going to get for her in there anyway? A bra?
Ozai: What's a bra?
Me: Oh-ho-ho this is painful. Let go to the book store.
At the book store-
Me: (licks lollypop)Let see…here's one! "How to win back your wife after banishing her and not seeing her for 6 years"
Ozai: Why would I get her that?
Me: No, Moron. We're going to look through it for tips!
Ozai: Shouldn't we buy it?
Me: Haha! Buying things is for people with money!
Ozai: You don't have money?
Me: (licks lollypop) "Step one- Buy lots of fancy chocolate."
Ozai: When they say 'fancy chocolate'-
10 minutes later-
Ozai: (next to a wheel barrel that has a giant chocolate heart in it) THIS IS PROBABLY NOT WHAT THEY MEANT!
Me: (licks lollypop) Why take the chance? Lets take this back to the house and come back for more!
Ozai: MORE?!
Me: STOP SCREAMING AT ME!
At house-
All: We're done!
Me: Great guys! We- where's Zhao?
Jet: In the bathroom. Throwing up.
Me: You gave him chocolate. Didn't you?
Sokka and Aang: Nooooooooooyes.
Zhao: (in bathroom) Uhh…chocolate…too happy…for me…to…digest! (throws up)
Ursa: So I'm in charge!
Me: Actually I'm in charge since I'm back.
Ursa: Aww…I'm never in charge of anything…
Ozai: You COULD have helped me rule the nation if you let me kill Zuko.
Ursa: Oh don't bring that up!
Ozai: I'll do what I want! If you hadn't had such an attachment to Zuko I wouldn't have banished you!
Ursa: Why would you kill your own SON?! I had to stop you!
Ozai: He is weak! He's not my son any more.
Zuko: Harsh.
Ozai: Shut it. You said I wasn't you father.
Ursa: You could have been a better father.
Ozai: You don't know what it's like to raise 2 kids by your-
Ursa: I practically raised them before I left! Don't play the 'pity me' card!
Ozai: Why you selfish-
Ursa: Power hungry-
Ozai: Family loving-
Ursa: Stupid little-
Both: BRAT!
Me: No! Urzai's falling apart in front of me!
Jet: I can fix that! (turns her around) There! Now it's falling apart behind you!
Me: Gee, thanks so much, Jet.
Jet: I try.
Iroh: We have to stop them from fighting.
Sokka: Let's sing a song to distract them!
All: OK!
Mai: No.
Me: (grabs Mai's lips and moves them up and down while talking is a high pitched voice) Ok, everyone! Let's sing!
Mai: That's not how I sound.
Me: You right. You're MUCH cheerier than that.
Aang: What should we sing?
Iroh: 'Secret Tunnel'?
Sokka: No!
Ty-Lee: 'Four Seasons'?
Katara: Close but no…
Me: I got it!
A little while later-
Ursa: Don't call me a brat!
Ozai: Don't call me little!
Me: Hey guys!
Both: What?
Me: 1..2..3!
Azula: (singing) L is for the way you look at me
Jet: (singing) O is for the only one I see
Iroh: (singing)V is very, very extraordinary
Toph: (singing)E is even more than anyone that you adore can love-
Ozai and Ursa look at each other and starts dancing together-
Katara: (singing)-Is all that I can give to you
Zuko: (singing)Love is more than just a game for two
Ty-Lee: (singing)Two in love can make it
Aang: (singing)Take my heart and please don't break it
All: (singing)Love was made for me and yoooooooou!!!
Ursa: (crying) I'm sorry, Ozai!
Ozai: (crying) I'm sorry, Ursa! (they hug)
All: Awwww!!!
Toph: Now can we get with the giving?
Katara: I'll start! (gives Aang pin wheel) Happy Valentines Day!
Aang: A pinwheel?
Katara: And for Zuko-
Aang: Wait, all I get is a pinwheel? Really?
Katara: Yeah, why?
Aang: (sigh) Never mind…
Katara: For Zuko- Chocolate! (gives him chocolate shaped like an octapentapollygon)
Zuko: Uh…why an octapentapollygon?
Katara: It's the only template Kimono has.
Me: Er- heh-heh, How'd THAT get there?
Zuko: Whatever. Thanks, Katara!
Azula: I'm more important so my turn!
Katara: You are NOT more important!
Azula: Am too!
Katara: Am not!
Sokka: Don't start!
Azula: Anyway, happy Valentines Day, Jetty! (gives Jet lump of chocolate)
Jet: Uh, a solid lump of chocolate?
Azula: Well I'm not gonna give you the octapentapollygon one!
Jet: Ok, thanks! (they hug)
Aang: Do I get anything?
Azula: From me? Why would you think that?
Aang: Because I'm lonely…
Toph: I've got something for you!
Aang: Really?!
Toph: Yep! (gives him earth-made sculpture of his old glider)
Aang: WOW! Thanks so much Toph! (squeezes her)
Toph: Can't…breath…GLACK!
Mai: Uh, Aang? You wanna stop there, buddy?
Aang: Oh yeah. (lets go of Toph) Sorry, Toph.
Toph: It's-it's ok, Twinkle Toes. And I've go something for Iroh too.
Iroh: Really? That's great!
Toph: (gives him tea cup with his name on it) Happy Valentines Day!
Iroh: Thanks, Toph! I- why does it say 'Irow'?
Toph: Isn't that how you spell your name?
Iroh: No. But it's the thought that counts!
Sokka: Sweet moment, now do I get something?
Ty-Lee: Chill, Sokka. I got you something! (gives him box)
Sokka: Oh boy! (opens box) Sweat bands that say 'Team Avatar' on them! Thanks! (hugs her) Someone finally likes the name!!
Mai: My turn. Happy Valentines day Zuko, I guess. (gives card)
Zuko: (opens card) 'Roses are red, Violets are not, Happy Valentines Day, I think you're hot.' Awkward, but, thanks, Mai! (hugs)
Mai: (over his shoulder) He didn't hug YOU, Katara.
Katara: Shut up, traitor!
Mai: Stop calling me that!
Ursa: Is it my turn?
Me: Sure, Ursa.
Azula: Wait a second- why haven't you given anything?
Me: The only thing I got is chocolate for Moron.
All: WHAT?! YOU GOT HIM SOMETHING?!
Me: What? No! Not like that!
Jet: Give in to your inner Ozai fan-girl!
Me: I never had one!
Aang: Did too! I saw your face when they showed him for the first time!
Ursa: Keep away from my Ozai!
Me: You people got this all wrong! So I had one dream about kissing him. That doesn't mean any-
All: You had a dream about kissing Ozai?!
Me: Duh. Like, last chapter? Remember?
Ursa: I wasn't here last chapter.
Me: So that's why I don't have anything. I was with Moron.
Jet: I still think you have an Ozai fan-girl.
Ursa: Happy Valentines Day, Ozai! (gives him box)
Ozai: Yey! Present! (turns to Kimono) Told you someone loves me!
Me: I knew it. I'm an Urzai fan girl. Remember?
Ozai: (opens box then drops it) OK, WHO TOLD HER WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MALL?!
Sokka: Heh-heh. Guilty.
Iroh: Guilty
Katara: Guilty.
Toph: What's in the box?
Zuko: (shutters) A blue bikini.
Ozai: I hate all of you.
Ursa: Love you too. Here's your real present. (gives him gift bag)
Ozai: (takes present out of bag) A tinfoil blue lightsaber? (holds it) I have the strangest feeling I've held this before.
Me: I have no clue what you're -cough-Episodefour-cough- talking about.
Mai: So Kimono you really don't have anything to give to anyone for Valentines Day?
Me: Oh all right! (kisses Sokka on the cheek) Happy Valentines Day. (kisses Aang on the cheek) Happy Valentines Day. (kisses Zuko on the cheek) Happy Valentines Day. (kisses Iroh on the cheek) Happy Valentines Day. (kisses Jet on the cheek) Happy Valentines Day. (is about to kiss Ozai on the cheek) Err-
Ozai: (blushes)
Me: (pats him on shoulder and blushes) Happy Valentines Day.
Ozai: Yeah…you too.
Jet: (whispers to Zuko) I was so right about the Ozai fan-girl.
Zuko: Please. This is my father we're talking about.
Zhao: (comes out of the bathroom) I'm ok again!
Sokka: In my opinion, you were never 'ok'.
Zhao: Do I get anything?
Me: Sorry. Only for major characters.
Zhao: What?! But I was major in season 1! I was in more episodes than 2nd in command over there! (points to Ursa)
Ozai: DON'T YOU INSULT MY WIFE!
Zhao: Why not? You did like 10 minutes ago.
Me: Just go away Zhao.
Zhao: But why don't I get-
All: GO! (Zhao runs away)
Zhao: (runs back) SPARTA! (runs away)
Aang: I hate him so much.
Jet: We all do. By the way, Ozai, when Zhao came in he broke the door soooo… (throws him tools) Get to it.
Ozai: (looks at Kimono)
Me: (waves hand) You heard him, Moron! (Ozai starts to fix the door)
Zuko: Now that that's done; Happy Valentimes Day every-
Noah: (brakes through door Ozai is fixing) NOT SO FAST!
Ty-Lee: Oh no not you.
Noah: Zuko, you said 'ValenTIMES!'
Zuko: Yeah? And?
Noah: It's ValenTINES! With an 'N'! Not 'M'. TINES not TIMES!
Toph: Ok, we get in now can you just-
Noah: TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES TINES!!!
Greg: (comes through door Noah broke that Ozai's still trying to fix) Sorry guys. He got out of his cage.
Ursa: Not worries, just get him out of here.
Greg: (pick Noah up by the back of his shirt and walks him out)
Ozai: Can I fix this door now?
Me: Sure. Why not?
Ozai: Because everyone- Oh forget it…
Aang: So when can the guys give to the girls?
Me: March 14th. (waves to readers) See yah then!
Iroh: Whom are you waving to?
Me: No one…
SORRY! I know it's late! SORRY! I know Valentines Day was yesterday! I'M SORRY SORRY SORRY! I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!
Alexa: Guess what, Zutarakid50?
What?
Alexa: This chapter's late.
AHHHH!!!!!
Alexa: She's so fun to mess with.
Am NOT!
Alexa: For the record; she does not own the song 'L-O-V-E', the octapentapollygon was Greg's idea, Noah really corrects people like that, the chocolate flower conversation really happened between the author and Greg, the author thought of Mai's card, Noah tells the author constantly that she has an Inner Ozai Fan-Girl and Noah gave here the idea of Kimono's reaction to Mai's comment while she and Ozai were shopping.
By the way, guys, REVIEW! And, next time you review, tell me if there's anything you don't like in the story or if you want me to put more of something in. And, of course, ideas are always welcome!
Alexa: Can we end this late mess now?
Yeah, yeah.
I rule Hyrule,
Kimono