Hi! This is my first time attempting to actually finish a story. The last chapter was sort of a prologue of what's about to come in the future.

I do not know what Julia's last name is, I saw someone on here use Locklear and that just stuck with me, so I hope they don't mind!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

I saw Clare standing by her locker, glaring at the lock with anger. I smirked, silently walking up behind her until I was only a few inches away. She still hadn't noticed me, too caught up in the war with her lock. "54… 12… 23… why won't you open!" Clare huffed, talking to herself.

"Having problems, Blue Eyes?" She spun around bringing her hand to her chest, eyes wide with surprise. She rolled her eyes and gently shoved my shoulder back, her lips settling into a pout.

"Jerk."

I shrugged. I loved messing with Clare, she was just too easy of a target. "So, in need of my services?" I said, nodding my head towards her locker. She smiled, "Please?"

I began spinning the dial, quickly hitting the numbers and pulled down, laughing at the annoyed scuff from Clare when it clicked open with ease. I turned around with a smirk, "There you go Edwards, no need to thank me."

She crossed her arms, and shook her head at me. She began to reach for her books at the bottom when I pulled her back up.

"Actually, I changed my mind. You should thank me, starting with-" I cut myself off, kissing her lips slowly and then deepening the kiss after a few seconds. She smiled shyly when I pulled away and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Ugh." I heard someone groan from behind. "Clare, if I knew you were going to start your morning off everyday sucking face with Eli, I would have requested a locker change." Clare's cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, something I found completely adorable. Adam rolled his eyes at us, grabbing his binder and books from the shelf inside his locker.

She giggled, diverting her eyes to the floor, then back up at our friend. "Sorry Adam."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure." He said jokingly.

"And how are you today, Adam?" I asked, pulling down his beanie. He glared at me, adjusting it immediately.

"Apparently not as good as you two, but I'll survive." Adam said, faking annoyance. "Did you finish Dawes' assignment?"

My mind conjured up an image of our English teacher, Ms. Dawes, with her tall, skinny frame and slightly oversized glasses. She was an odd one, to say the least. I nodded as Clare began to go into detail about the assignment to Adam. Normally, I would join in, but I couldn't help but get lost in my thoughts. I had been zoning out a lot lately, something I tried to avoid. Zoning out meant thinking about what truly bothered me and it was always the same thing: Julia.

About two months ago, I had told Clare about Julia's death and the reason why I was so apprehensive to start a real relationship with her. Bottom line was I felt it wasn't fair to Clare, and that in some messed up way, I was betraying Julia by getting closer to her. I almost felt like I should suffer for what happened to Julia, it was my fault after all.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, anytime you would like to sit down, I'll begin class. Just let me know when you're ready." I ripped myself from my thoughts, taking in my surroundings. I was standing in the middle of the classroom, everyone's eyes on me as Ms. Dawes watched from behind her desk. I cleared my throat awkwardly, and took my seat in front of Clare. Adam nudged me, giving me a weird look, but I shrugged him off. I heard quiet laughter from the class, and rolled my eyes, waiting for Ms. Dawes to start teaching.

I watched as she began to write on the board, not really paying attention. She was rambling about the assignments due when a note landed on my desk, obviously from Clare.

You seem out of it…Is there something you're not telling me lately?

My jaw involuntarily clenched. Yes, there was something I wasn't telling her. I purposely left out the reason why Julia died, why she ran off on her bike that night. I didn't want to deal with it myself, so I chose to ignore it and I wasn't about to change that now.

I grabbed my pen, and quickly scribbled on the piece of paper.

And why would you think that?

I tossed it behind me when Ms. Dawes' back was turned. A minute later, the note was thrown back on my desk.

Because, Eli! Why do you think? You've been so reserved and whenever I ask you what's wrong, you change the topic. I've been ignoring it for this long, but I just can't anymore. We need to talk later, you're obviously hiding something.

I re-read the note a couple times before finally answering. I wrote one word.

Fine.

I could practically feel Clare's frustration at my pitiful response, but I didn't care. She could deal with it for now.

"Eli…Clare? I would appreciate it if you did not pass notes during my class, if it's that urgent that you can't wait until the bell rings, then you can pass notes all you want." Ms. Dawes said. "In detention." I nodded my head, as Clare muttered an apology. Ms. Dawes began to turn back around when Principal Simpson walked into the classroom.

She put down the dry erase marker. "How can I help you Principal Simpson?" asked Ms. Dawes, looking as if she was using every ounce of patience she had left. Principal Simpson nodded. "Can I you please excuse Elijiah Goldsworthy, I need to speak with him in my office."

I received accusing looks from everyone in the classroom. Dawes sighed, looking at me. "By all means." She gestured towards the door, as I rose from my desk. I blocked out the whispering as I exited, stealing a glance at Clare who gave me a worried look.

Principal Simpson didn't say a word as he led me to his office, and the silence made me feel slightly uneasy. What could I possibly have done? I mouthed off to my teachers at least once a day, but I never said anything that sarcastic to land me in the Principal's office. I racked my brain, wondering if I was missing something. I skipped yesterday…was that it?

I took a seat in front of his desk, as Simpson shut the door behind us. He sat in his chair, and folded his hands out in front of him. I could practically hear crickets as we stared wordlessly at one another

I finally broke the silence. "So…why am I here again?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow. Simpson narrowed his eyes in thought as I leaned back in my chair to get comfortable. I looked around his office, noticing an immense amount of picture frames spread throughout the room. There was him and what appeared to be his wife, a picture of a blond haired girl who I assumed to be his daughter, and one of him and…Connor? Well, that's random, I thought to myself.

I turned my attention back to Simpson as he finally found the words he was looking for. "I don't know how to explain this Mr. Goldsworthy, but I thought I should let you know before you find out on your own." I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to continue. He took a breath before he spoke again. "Usually, this isn't information that I would share with another student, however in this case I believe I need to make an exception. There's a new student enrolling to Degrassi."

I was confused. A new kid? That's what this was about? How did that concern me?
"I believe this student was directly related to the, um, incident involving Julia Locklear." He said, trailing off at my expression. My mouth hung open in shock, as I felt the blood drain from my face. The incident involving Julia Locklear, the words kept swirling around in my head, not making any sense. How did Simpson even know about Julia and what did he mean by directly involved in "the incident"? He began to speak again, but I didn't hear him. I shook my head back and forth trying to process that one single sentence, when one name broke me out of my self-induced trance.

"-Derrick Ravitz will be under close surveillance, and I can assure you that-"

"What?" I practically yelled, interrupting him mid-sentence. I stood up, staring at Simpson in disbelief. "Derrick Ravitz will be going to school here? Here?" I said, my voice laced with disgust. I glared at the Principle, who scratched his head nervously.

"Eli, I know this is hard to hear, but there's nothing I can do to prohibit a student from enrolling, no matter what he's accused of." I was furious and wanted nothing more than to flip the desk over, but I stopped myself from doing so.

"That's bullshit!" I screamed. "You're telling me that you are going to let a person like him-"I said, emphasizing my hatred. "Walk straight through the doors of Degrassi like he's just another student, and not a psycho?" I was fuming.

Simpson looked at me apprehensively, afraid to set me off even further. He put his hands out in front of him, trying to get me to calm down, but I wasn't having it. "Eli, please understand my position here." He began, but I interrupted again.

"To hell with your "position"!" I spat. I looked down at the ground, willing myself to take a deep breath and raised my head back up, staring Simpson in the eyes. "I'm not going to let this happen, Mr. Simpson." I shook my head determined. "I'm not."

I opened the door before he could get another word in, and stormed out of the office, the secretary staring after me in shock. The bell was ringing, signaling the end of class as I angrily made my way to my locker. Students cluttered the halls, but I pushed past them, just wanting to leave. I walked by Clare, but looked past her, not seeing much of anything. She chased after me, and grabbed onto my arm, forcing me to turn around and face her.

My patience was wearing thin. "What?" I said rudely, but instantly regretted it when I saw the look on her face.

"Eli, what's going on?" Clare asked, releasing her grip on my arm. A few girls passed us, eyeing our tense conversation with curiosity. I wanted to yell at them and tell them to mind their own business, but I let them pass without a word.

"Not here, let's go." I said shortly, making my way to the front doors of the school. Clare jogged behind me, trying to keep up with my brisk pace. I pushed through and reached for the keys in my back pocket.

"Where are you going? You can't just leave!" She said, almost crashing into me when I stopped abruptly. She stepped back, waiting for me to say something.

"You can come with me, or you can stay here. What's it gonna' be?" I said to her, gripping the keys in my hand. She looked torn, her eyes darting back and forth between me and the school. I didn't have time for this. I continued down the steps, but stopped when she spoke again.

"Wait." I turned to look at Clare, who now at the bottom of the steps. "I'll come with you.'

I nodded, "Then let's go."

I blasted the loudest, angriest sounding song I could find on my ipod as we drove. I mouthed the words silently, finding the band to be a good distraction from my own anger. It was perfect; I couldn't even hear myself think, just the way I liked it.

Clare winced every time the singer would scream out loud profanities, but I ignored it. Actually, it was kind of amusing to be honest. I drove until I reached my destination: the park. I swung open Morty, and stepped out of the hearse, Clare right behind me. I sat down on the bench, and rested my head in my hands. I felt her sit next to me, her body tense as she starred at me. We sat in silence for a minute, just listening to the subtle sounds of the park.

"I know I'm unbelievably good looking, but it's not polite to stare. I thought your mother would have taught you that, Saint Clare." I said sarcastically, lifting my head up. She didn't laugh at my joke. Instead she crossed her arms expectantly, and looked at me like I was something scraped out of a shower drain.

"What's going on with you."

I looked away. "Next question."

"No, that's it!" She said, angry now. I have never seen Clare mad before and to say that it wasn't entertaining would be a lie. She flailed her hands around as she spoke, "I've patiently given you time, Eli. I know you don't like to talk about Julia, or what happened, but I'm not stupid! I know there's something you're not telling me, and I can't handle it if you're going to act this way!" Her eyes were big, and she was breathing heavy. "And then, Simpson calls you out of class for who knows what, and I see you twenty minutes later stomping down the hall like you're about to commit murder without an explanation."

I stared at her, the corners of my mouth pulling into a smirk. I liked when Clare was mad, it was surprisingly attractive. She narrowed her eyes at me. "You can wipe the stupid smirk off your face anytime now and give me a reason why I shouldn't punch you."

I laughed, much to my own surprise. Even when Clare was angry, she could make me feel better by just being herself. I don't know how she does it. However, she was right; I couldn't keep lying to her. I guess it's time to come clean.

"Clare, I'm sorry." I began to explain. "You're right, I haven't been completely honest with you."

"Really? I would have never guessed, but now that you mention it." She said dryly, and I couldn't help but smile. She nodded for me to continue, and I tried to focus my thoughts. Where do I start exactly?

"Well, you know that Julia was hit by a drunk driver." I said, and Clare nodded. "And you know that it was my fault…"

Clare looked at me sadly. "Eli, you can't blame yourself. It was the driver's fault, not yours, anybody can see that."

I shook my head. No, she was letting me off too easily and I didn't deserve her sympathy. "It is. It's my fault." I said surely. "I yelled at Julia because I was jealous, and I didn't believe her. I was stupid, so stupid… I didn't trust her, even when she had given me no reason not to." I shook my head, wanting to build a time machine and go back to the moment when I told her she was worth nothing. The biggest lie I've ever told to this day.

"What happened? What did she do that made you so angry?" Clare asked curiously.

I closed my eyes, a bitter feeling settling into my stomach. "It wasn't her that made me angry, it was Derrick Ravitz." I stopped to gain my composure. Just saying his name sent me over the edge. "He had liked Julia for a while, hitting on her whenever he got the chance, always trying to make her fall for him. But she never did. She didn't even give him a second glance, and if he laid a hand on her, she'd tell him off. She was great." I smirked at the thought of Julia wrinkling her nose in disgust whenever Derrick would give her that crooked smile. "As you can imagine, he hated me and wanted me out of the picture, but I wasn't going to back down. Let's say it started out similar to the fights I had with Fitz…" I said, trailing off. "But I should have realized that it wasn't me that he wanted to hurt, it was Julia."

"Every time I'd leave her alone, even for a second, Derrick would be right there. It sounds stupid, but I was jealous of him trying to take Julia away from me, even though she clearly wasn't interested. I was paranoid, which in the end, was exactly what he wanted. He caused us to fight; mostly from me questioning what she said would say to him when he flirted relentlessly."

I swallowed, realizing that I wasn't ready to tell Clare the whole truth. There were some things that she didn't need to know, so, I decided to skip over a part in the story. "One time, she told me something that I just didn't believe. I didn't want to believe it, so I decided it was easier if I convinced myself she was lying. I yelled at her, I called her horrible things and I let her run away." I slowed down. "I didn't even attempt to go after her." No matter how much time passed, it killed me to picture her face, the tears running down her cheeks as she stormed off. I caused that, all of it.

"And you know the rest. I got a call from her father an hour later, telling me she had been hit by car. I rushed to the hospital, driving faster than I ever had that night, but it was too late. When I got there, they told me she was dead." At this point, my voice was only slightly louder than a whisper and I coughed to stop the emotion from building in my throat.

Clare rubbed my shoulder softly, as I stared out at the park. I watched a father throw a Frisbee to his son, laughing as it flew past his head and into a bush.

"What happened with Mr. Simpson?"

I jumped a little, almost forgetting that Clare was next to me. I took in a breath of air, and forced myself to answer her question. "He told me Derrick is enrolling at Degrassi."

Clare inhaled sharply, her eyebrows rising in surprise. "And, I'm guessing that's where you stormed off."

I nodded, fiddling with the ring on my thumb. I stood up from the bench and looked down at Clare who starred up at me with an empty expression. "I think it's time to leave."

I pulled into Clare's driveway, turning off the engine as we sat in silence. The whole ride home was silent, neither of us had anything to say.

"Clare, I don't want you to hate me." I told her, confessing what was on my mind.

She opened her eyes wide, "Why would I hate you?"

I smiled sadly, "Because I'm messed up, and all I do is drag you down with me. Everytime." I gripped Morty's steering wheel, my knuckles turning white from the pressure. She didn't say anything for a minute, leaving me to my thoughts.

"Eli, I would never hate you, I wouldn't still be here if I thought you were messed up. If I were in your situation, I would be a wreck, so I don't blame you for acting the way you do."

I just stared straight ahead, thinking about what she said. Maybe she was right.

"Do you want to come inside?" I looked at her in surprise.

"Won't your parents ask why I'm here?"

She smiled shyly¸ a light blush tinting her cheeks. "They're not exactly home right now."

I smirked, leaning in to give her a kiss. "Well then, how can I say no to that?"

Clare led me upstairs to her room, and I had no bad intentions, honestly. I just wanted to spend some time alone, something we rarely were able to do. Clare's parents hovered over us like guards in a prison cell, and my room wasn't the most relaxing environment. Clare had been very understanding when she found out about my hoarding, another thing that made me love her even more. She accepted me no matter what.

"Do you want to watch TV?" She asked awkwardly.

I nodded my head while kicking off my boots and slumped down onto her mattress. It was soft. Clare reached for the remote and laid next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. "What do you want to watch?"

I shrugged, not really caring what was on television. "Doesn't matter, you pick."

She changed the channel about ten times until she finally settled on one. I glanced down at her, and ran my hand through her soft curls. She looked up at me, her blue eyes shining brightly. She was beautiful. I couldn't help myself; I slowly began to kiss her, relishing the feel of her lips on mine.

Clare adjusted her body towards me, and I rested my hand on her cheek, playing with a curl that fell carelessly in front of her face. I deepened our kiss, running my tongue along her lip as I pulled her closer. She bit softly on my lip, and I smiled. That was new. I ran my hands along her waist, loving the way her body curved in at just the right places.

Clare moved her leg so that it was resting on top of mine, and I brought my hand down to her thigh, bringing her in closer. She bit me again, a little harder this time and I suddenly had the urge to climb on top of her, and let my hands roam freely, but I didn't. I broke our kiss, and she looked at me, confused.

"Don't want to get too carried away, Saint Clare." I said softly. She bit her lip and blushed, which made me want to attack her even more. "At least not tonight." I added.

She giggled, and turned her attention back to the TV, placing her head on my shoulder. I smiled, and wondered if I would ever grow tired of kissing Clare. I highly doubt it.