NOTE: I don't not encourage animal abuse. This was simply for comedic purposes. No animals we harmed in the making of this chapter. Although my figure nails are sufficiently bit down to the nub. This chapter was fucking hard to write.
Author: I NEED TO WRITE A CHAPTER!
Sokka: What the hell are you doing in your own story?
Author: I need ideas. Please help me! I don't know what to do! I'm ending the story soon so I want to-
All: YOU'RE WHAT?
Author: What?
Katara: You're ending the story?
Ozai: There's only a few more chapter of Hell left? Yes!
Aang: Why are we the last to know?
Author: Didn't Kimono tell you? (all look at Kimono)
Me: (hides behind magazine) I only do what the author tells me to do.
Author: BULL CRAP!
Mai: Why did you come to us for chapter ideas?
Toph: Isn't it obvious, Mai? We're smarter than her.
Author: Hey!
Sokka: Oh! I've got a great idea! If we only have a few chapters left, we should do all the things we've never done!
Zuko: Yeah! We should!
Ty-Lee: Think of all the shipping we never got to!
Iroh: All the songs we never sung!
Azula: All the readers I have yet to kill!
Katara: No, no, no. No killing.
Azula: But I haven't killed anyone since I got here!
Me: Which is a bad thing?
Azula: Yes!
Author: If that's what you guys want then…what do you wanna do first?
Ozai: I wanna ride a Merry-Go-Round!
All: Yeah!
Me: (rolls her eyes)
Author: Uh…ok. (puts Merry-Go-Round in back yard)
All: Squee! (run onto Merry-Go-Round)
Noah and Greg: We heard Merry-Go-Round! (stare at Author) What are you doing here?
Author: It's my story and I'll do what I damn well please.
Greg: But…if you're here… then who am I friends with? You or Kimono?
Noah: And which one's my sister?
Author: Unimportant. What else haven't I done in this story?
Greg: Ozai's never been in charge.
Author: Good point. Yo, guys! (the Avatar crew looks at her) Ozai's in charge for the next hour! Anything you want to do has to be approved by him first!
All: WHAT?
Ozai: Really?
Author: Yup.
Ozai: Ok then, everyone off the Merry-Go-Round! (kicks everyone off) I demand that Ursa come back!
Author: (snaps fingers and Ursa appears in the back yard)
Zuko: Mommy's back! (runs over to hug Ursa)
Ozai: (slaps Zuko) Don't touch! (hugs Ursa) Come ride the horses with me! (drags her onto ride)
Ursa: (looks around) What's going-
Ty-Lee: Ozai, can I have my chocolate bunny from chapter 34?
Ozai: No.
Azula: Dad, can Jet be in this chapter?
Ozai: No.
Aang: Can Appa and Momo-
Ozai: No! (looks at everyone) Everything you're going to ask me for will get a no!
Katara: That's not fair!
Azula: Sure it is! Watch this: Dad, can we not play Mario Kart?
Ozai: No! …wait-
All: Yay! (all run inside to play)
Ozai: Damn she's good.
Ursa: (giggle) It's your own fault she's like that! (suddenly, Merry-Go-Round disappears)
Ozai: Hey!
Author: I have to keep an eye on everyone else inside so you two are coming in, too.
Ozai: Aww… (he and Ursa come inside)
Ursa: So what's going on?
Greg: There are only two chapters in this story left so the crew's trying to do a bunch of things they've never done.
Noah: One of which is that Ozai was never in charge.
Author: So he's calling the shots now.
Ozai: I have another request!
Author: Yippee.
Ozai: I demand you write this story in the other format!
Xx AND SO! XX
The Author snapped her fingers. "There you go. What else?"
Ozai looked around. "Did you do it?"
"Yup."
"I don't feel a difference…"
"Trust me, I'm writing this differently."
Noah smiled. "Pain in the ass, right?" The Author shot him a glare before turning back to Ozai.
"What else do you want?" She asked impatiently, "You have 50 minutes of leader time left."
When it took to long for the ex-Fire Lord to respond, Greg yelled, "I want chocolate pizza!" Earning himself a few odd looks.
"Why do you want-" The author began but was cut off by Ursa saying, "That sounds interesting!"
"That sounds disgusting." Kimono stated from her spot on the couch, "How can-"
"See? See?" The Author squealed, pointing at the text above her line and grinning at Ozai, "This part IS being written differently! If I was writing how I usually did, you would NEVER know we were in a room with a couch in it! I wonder if I'm doing ok…" She trailed off when she spotted Kimono giving her a death glare from across the room. "Sorry."
"As I was saying: how can you have chocolate pizza? Isn't that just chocolate shaped like pizza?"
Greg's excited smile fell a little, "Maybe…"
"I don't care!" Ursa turned to Ozai, "Make the Author give us chocolate pizza!"
As Kimono rolled her eyes and went back to reading her magazine, Ozai looked at the Author, "Author, I demand you give us chocolate pizza!" The Author sighed and snapped her fingers. Chocolate pizza appeared on the low table in front of the couch Kimono occupied. Before the Author could point out the existence of the table, something pink streaked into the room.
Ty-Lee: Mine! (takes chocolate and runs away)
Ursa and Greg: No! (run after her)
Ozai: Ursa, come back! (runs after them)
Noah: I'll help you, Ty-Lee! (runs after them)
Me: (turns to Author) Are you going to do anything about this?
Author: No. I'm gonna let Sokka handle this.
Me: Sokka? But-
Sokka: (runs past them) Get back here, Ty-Lee! You have the other Wii remote! (runs in direction Ty-Lee ran in)
Me: Oh.
Meanwhile-
Ursa: (has Ty-Lee pined against a wall) Give it back!
Ty-Lee: No! It's chocolate! I NEED it!
Greg: I actually don't see why she can't have any…
Ozai: Of course you don't.
Sokka: Ty-Lee! Just give me the controller!
Ty-Lee: Let go of me!
Noah: Let go of her! (punches Ursa)
Ozai: (glares at Noah)
Noah: Oh no. I'm sorry!
Ursa: It's no big deal. You we just defending Ty-Lee. I'm-
Ozai: (grabs Noah by the neck and pushes him into wall) You will die today, peasant.
Greg: Yay!
Noah: (choking) I'm s- (gasp) sorry-
Ozai: Not yet, you aren't.
Author: (she and Kimono come running up) Ozai! Drop that! You have no idea where it's been!
Ozai: Fine. (drops Noah and puts a foot on his chest) Touch my wife again and you'll lose your arms faster than you can blink.
Noah: (cough) Understood.
Ursa: That was the manliest thing you've done since I got here. I LOVE you! (grabs Ozai and kisses him)
Sokka: (looks around) Hey, where did Ty-Lee go?
Author: She and Greg ran away with the pizza.
Me: (stares at Urzai kiss)
Sokka: Would you stop staring at them? We need to find Ty-Lee! We can't finish Mario Kart without her!
Author: She's back in the game room with the others.
Sokka: How do you know that?
Author: (points at herself) Remember who I am?
Sokka: Oh yeah. (Sokka, Kimono, Noah and the Author leave)
In the room where everyone is playing Mario Kart-
Ty-Lee: Yay! I'm beating Azula!
Azula: No you're not! (kicks Ty-Lee who drops her controller)
Katara: Azula! That's cheating!
Azula: So? (crosses finish line) I win again!
Zuko First she's good at everything, now she's good a video games. Why is life so unfair?
Avatarfan1: I can beat her. I challenge you, Azula!
Azula: I accept! (both start to race)
Toph: Who's this?
Iroh: I think it's a reader.
Mai: Oh joy.
Noah, Kimono, Sokka and the Author enter the room-
Sokka: Who's playing against Azula?
Aang: That's Avatarfan1.
Zuko: And if she wins this game, she's my new best friend.
Azula: (a few minutes later) I can't believe she beat me!
Avatarfan: Yes!
Author: (looks at watch) Oh hey, Ozai's not in charge anymore. You can make your requests right to me now.
Aang: Can I have Momo back? (Momo appears on his shoulder) Yay! (hugs Momo)
Avatarfan: Can I have a Maiko moment?
Author: You're not a character so no.
Avatarfan: Please?
Mai: Please?
Me: Please don't.
Avatarfan: If you do, I'll review this chapter!
Zuko: (grabs Mai and kisses her)
Me: Noooo!
Author: (pats her on back) I don't like it ether but I want reviews.
Ozai: (he and Ursa walk in) Zuko, how dare you! Men of the royal family do NOT display their affection in public!
Ursa: (rolls her eyes)
Ozai: And can someone get this thing off my back? (turns around to show everyone Moongurl736 who is hanging off this back)
Moongurl736: Hello.
Iroh: Hello, Miss!
Ozai: Iroh! Don't encourage it!
Iroh: I wasn't encouraging! It's rude not to say hello…
Moongurl: (gasp) Zuko! (jumps onto his back)
Avatarfan: Don't do that! You'll mess up the Maiko!
Zuko: (pulls away from Mai) What the- who's on my back?
Moongurl: Hello, Zuzu!
Azula: I like her!
xXSorryMaiZukosMineXx: Aww, I wanted to do that…
All: (jump and look at her) How long have YOU been there?
SorryMai.: I've been here.
Mai: Since when?
SorryMai: Since "I like her"
Me: THAT'S IT! All readers need to go!
SorryMai: But I just got-
Me: Quite, you!
Author: Don't listen to her. She's just mad that I'm in control here.
Moongurl: So we can stay?
Ozai: No! All readers hate me!
Avatarfan: Too true.
Ozai: LEAVE!
SorryMai: But I wanna hang off Zuko, too!
Ozai: (glares at them)
SorryMai, Moongurl and Avatarfan: Bye! (run out of story)
Aang: That was mean…
Author: Come on, guys! I need ideas!
Katara: I wanna go swimming!
Mai: The only person around here with a pool is Ty-Lee Hyuuga.
Ozai: And Hyuuga's a reader so we're not going there.
Author: (sighs) Fine… (snaps fingers and a pool appears in room)
Noah: SAVE THE WII!
Iroh: Author, you can't put a pool inside!
Ursa: Who cares! (rips off clothes to revel a bathing suit underneath) Let's go! (jumps into pool)
Ozai: (takes off shirt) Right behind you! (jumps in)
Katara: Yay water! (jumps in)
Ty-Lee: I want to make a sand castle!
Aang: Me too! (Author makes sand appear around pool)
Greg: ARE YOU NUTS?
Noah: You'll get sand in the Wii!
Author: Are you asking me to not make Ty-Lee happy?
Greg and Noah: (look at each other) We'll help you, Ty-Lee!
Sokka: You're insane, Author! You just put a bunch of sand and a pool inside a room in Kimono's house! That isn't supposed to be possible!
Toph: (rolls her eyes) I personally gave up on logic a long time ago.
Iroh: If all we want is water and sand, why don't we go the to beach?
Ursa: (splashes Iroh) It's too hot at the beach.
A few hours later-
Toph: Anyone wanna go to the Zoo?
All: Yay!
Ty-Lee: Then let's go to Rap City and find one!
Iroh: There's a Zoo in Rap City? (all look at Noah)
Noah: Ummm…sure?
Ursa: What's it called?
Noah: Uh… Zu-Zu Zoo?
Sokka: (giggle) Try saying THAT five times fast.
Azula: I like it!
Zuko: Well I hate it!
Azula: NO ONE ASKED YOU!
Zuko: TOO BAD! THAT'S THE STUPIDEST NAME I'VE EVER HEARD!
Toph: The worse name I ever heard was 'Prince CuddlePuff'.
Zuko: Shut up, Toph.
Iroh: But I liked that name, Nephew!
Katara: Yeah! It was really cute!
Zuko: But I don't wanna be cute…
Ursa: You're cute to me, Zuko. (hugs)
Sokka: Touching as this is, can we go to the Zu-Zu Zoo now?
Zuko: (points at Noah) You're gonna die for that, by the way.
Noah: Which is why I'm not going with you all BYE! (grabs Greg and runs away)
Aang: To the Zoo!
At Zu-Zu Zoo-
Aang: Wow! These animals are really different than the ones back home!
Momo: (hisses at monkey's in cages)
Iroh: (points at bear cage) What kind of bear is that?
Sokka: (squints at cage) I think it's an Armadillo Bear.
Azula: No, you idiot. Armadillo Bears have armor on their backs. That's a polar bear.
Mai: It's fur's to dark for that. Could it be a Platypus Bear?
Me: Guys, that's just regular bear.
Mai, Azula, Sokka and Katara: (look at her) A what?
Ty-Lee: You know, like what the Earth King had. I miss that fuzzy guy… (looks at Author)
Author: I'm not giving you a bear in the middle of a Zoo.
Ty-Lee: Awww…
Katara: Hey Sokka look! They have penguins!
Sokka: (runs over) They look funny… why do they only have two arms?
Toph: This world has weird animals…
Ursa: (runs to them) Aang's trying to set all the animals loose!
Ozai: YES! (takes money from Iroh) I win!
Ursa: Win what?
Iroh: I bet that Aang wouldn't try to release the zoo animals for at least an hour after we got here.
Ozai: And he lost so now I'm 5 dollars richer! (turns to Ursa) You wanna grab a drink?
Ursa: Sure!
Toph: Wait a second! You aren't just going to let Aang free the animals, are you?
Ozai: Well why would I help you guys? I'm supposed to be evil.
Mai: Oh, now he decides to be in character…
Katara: If you were to help us cage the animals, THAT would be evil, right? Because you're capturing animals?
Ozai: …Good point.
AND SO, THE OZAI VS. (almost) EVERY ANIMAL IN THE ZOO TOURNAMENT BEGAN!
Round 1/ Ozai vs. Monkeys
Aang: I can't believe you're doing this, Ozai! These animals deserve to be free!
Ozai: Shut up Avatar! I'll show you I'm still evil enough to the villain of our world!
Iroh: I thought Azula was?
Sokka: Yeah I think Azula's more evil than you.
Ozai: (points at them) You see what I mean?
Ursa: You can do it, Ozai!
Azula: Go, dad!
Monkeys: EEEKKK! (run at Ozai)
Ozai: (slaps monkeys) Yeah! Ozai's mania's runnin' WILD!
After a few more rounds, Ozai has won against:
A rhino
3 frogs
An alligator
2 ducks
A school of fish
And one Zookeeper.
Final round/ Ozai vs. Kangaroo
Ozai: I'll show you all! When we get back to our world, I'll be on top once again! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Toph: When we get back to our world, you'll be in prison, remember?
Ozai: What? (Kangaroo punches him in the face with boxing glove)
Aang: The kangaroo wins! The animals are free! (all the animals run out of Zu-Zu Zoo)
Iroh: You didn't let ALL the animals out, did you, Aang?
Aang: Not yet! I still need to set the elephants free! (goes to the elephant's cage) Hey! The elephants are missing!
Ursa: I'm not entirely sure how you lose an elephant but we'll help you look!
Toph: Don't worrying, Aang! We'll find the el- Azula, what's that behind your back?
Azula: …Nothing…
Ozai: (lying on floor) Isn't anyone going to ask if I'm ok…?
Toph: I can feel something behind you, Azula. What is it?
Sokka: (looks behind Azula) Oh HERE'S the elephant!
Me: Why were you trying to hide one, Azula?
Azula: It's not an elephant! It's uh-uh-…Momo?
Aang: Momo's on my shoulder.
Author: You can't keep an elephant, Azula!
Azula: I'm not going to keep it! I going to set it free in our world and when it mates, I'll have an elephant army!
Ty-Lee: Oh ok. That makes sense!
Mai: Excuse me? What would you need an elephant army for?
Azula: For the same thing I do every night, Mai- To try and take over the world.
Sokka: You don't do that every night…do you?
Mai: Oh yes she does.
Aang: Anyway, I think we should go.
Iroh: Why?
Aang: The Zoo manager looks angry…
Zuko: Of course he's angry: He has to tell people he works at Zu-Zu Zoo!
Ty-Lee: I wouldn't mind saying that!
On the ride home-
Azula: Wait, why are we driving home on the bus from last chapter? Didn't someone drive this out of the story?
Sokka: You shush, elephant girl.
Parrot: Braack! Elephant girl!
Azula: If Sokka can have a parrot, why can't I have an elephant?
Toph: You don't want us to answer that.
Iroh: She makes a fair point, Sokka. Why do you have a parrot?
Sokka: He looked like he wanted to be stolen…
Parrot: Braack! Stolen!
Sokka: Yes, parrot; stolen. And that's our little secret, right?
Parrot: Braack! You're an idiot!
Sokka: Toph, stop teaching him new words!
Toph: But it's so much fun!
Mai: (fingers in her ears) Only one more chapter and it's over. Only one more chapter and it's over-
Me: You just LOVE being depressing, don't you?
Ursa: Does anyone else feel like we forgot someone?
Katara: Uhh… no I think this is everyone.
Aang: Who's driving?
Author: Driving what?
Aang: The bus we're on.
Author: (looks around) Oh yeah! We ARE on a bus, aren't we? You wouldn't know by reading THIS kind of story, would you?
Aang: I mean it, whose driving?
Zuko: I am. We need to get away from that stupid Zoo as fast as possible.
Ty-Lee: But I liked that stupid zoo!
Mai: We know.
Katara: Zuko, can you even drive?
Zuko: Sure I can! Noah taught me!
Ursa: So THAT'S why we've been crashing into everything!
Aang: When did Noah teach you how to drive?
Toph: It must have been in one of the scenes that don't appear in the actual chapter.
Parrot: Braack! CHAPTER!
Author and Kimono: I'M WORKING ON IT!
Back at the house-
Iroh: NOW I remember! We forgot-
Ozai: (limps through door all beat up) Owww….
Iroh: Yes! Ozai! That was it!
Ursa: (runs to Ozai) Ozai! Love, what hurts?
Ozai: My everything…
Azula: How did you get this hurt? That kangaroo only punched you once!
Ozai: On the way out, after you all left, I fought a dodo bird.
Sokka: Who won?
Ozai: Who do you think?
Me: Dodo birds are extinct, Moron. You must REALLY suck!
Parrot: Braack! Suck!
Ozai: Shut up!
Ty-Lee: You're so smart, Mr. Parrot! (pets parrot)
Parrot: Braack! Smart!
Mai: (rolls her eyes) Yes, Ty-Lee calling you smart. THIS is an achievement you must strive for!
Author: I think I should leave soon.
Ursa: Yeah, Ozai yelling at a parrot is where I draw my line. (kisses Ozai) Bye, everyone! I'll see you later! (disappears from story)
Ozai: But… I'm hurt! I need love!
Toph: You still have this one! (earthbends Kimono at Ozai)
Parrot: Braack! Love!
Me: (shoves Ozai away) I'm gonna kill that parrot!
Sokka: Nooo! (runs away with parrot)
Aang: Let it go, Sokka! IT MUST BE FREE! (runs after him)
Katara: I'll heal you, Ozai.
Ozai: FINALLY! Someone who's SANE! (Katara starts to heal him)
Azula: Personally, I've never been one for Katzai.
Author: Nether have I.
Iroh: Katara's only healing him. What's wrong with that?
Mai: Enough that it must be stopped. (grabs Zuko and kisses him)
Katara: LET GO OF MY MAN!
Mai: (points to Kimono) She told me to.
Me: No I di- AHH! (runs away with Katara chasing)
Ozai: But I'm still not healed…
Zuko: Oh suck it up.
Author: Yup, I'm definitely leaving. I DECLARE THIS CHAPTER-
Jet: WAIT!
Azula: Jetty! (hugs)
Author: I told you to stay away!
Jet: (winks) I'm a rebel, remember?
Author: Ok, this is just dragging out. THIS CHAPTER IS DONE!
Jet: You suck.
Love you too. Sorry this took so long, guys. Life's a bitch!
Jet: You said it…
Thank you for all the reviews! The next (and sadly LAST) chapter will be out before the end of the year. That's all I can promise at this point.
Jet: Zutarakid50 does NOT own Avatar or any other references in this chapter. The Zoo idea came from Deanna and Greg helped out a lot as well. Noah named the Zoo and Ozai's line "Ozai's mania's runnin' WILD!" is from Avatar: The Abridged Series.
It was my birthday on October 1st and NO ONE on this site wished me a 'Happy Birthday' so NONE OF YOU are being dedicated to!
Jet: You're an asshole.
An un-loved asshole. Deanna, I dedicate this to you for all your help! :D
Jet: Also, zutarakid50, Alexa and Greg will be in New York on Saturday (10/9) for the New York Anime Festival. I can't go, yet again…
So if you wanna meet there, message or review to me and we'll talk!
Jet: See you next chapter, I guess…
Ok fine, you can be in it.
Jet: YES!
Love you all. Please give me ideas. And reviews. I also would like your thoughts on that different way of writing up there. I like it a lot! Please send ideas for me...it's the last chapter...
I rule Hyrule,
Kimono