To promise
she was announced head girl. you were proud but remembered that she is not yours to be proud of. head boy was potter. but of course it would be. after that it was inevitable. after 7 years of trying, potter finally got the girl. it only took him 7 years. you've been trying since you were young, since before hogwarts. you see them, all the time. holding hands as they patrol the corridors. stealing kisses between classes.
they're a good looking couple, you know that. and who would go for you anyway? as sirius takes any chance to remind you, your nose is too big, your hair too greasy, your eyes too far apart and your teeth too yellow.
SHUT UP. you escape from the castle, stumbling down the stairs to get away from your thoughts. you find yourself wandering around the grounds in the rain. everyone is taking shelter inside and the grounds are deserted, as empty as you.
you hear a giggle and hide behind a tree as footsteps approach. whispers fail to reach your ears, like secrets or dreams that you once remembered but can no longer as you wake. you stay, deadly still, taking advantage of the approaching darkness, the rain, and your black cloak. the whispers are louder and you recognise the voices. you know the tone of her voice as well as you know your own, light yet focussed, honest yet kind. and his, arrogant and brash and yet when speaking with her, there is a gentleness.
the whispering stops and you take the time to quickly glance around. they are pressed up against the tree, his arms around her waist, her arms around his neck, their bodies against each other like they are one. she is on her toes to reach his mouth, their lips hovering but still not touching. she sighs and he takes the opportunity to pull her even closer to him and softly place his lips against hers. he breaks away but she has her hands in his messy black hair and forces his lips to hers once again.
you watch, you know that she is not yours. that she has never been yours and yet.
I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU.
Lily, I promise.