(Disclaimer: I do not own anything to with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the Buffyverse, I am just a fan!)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Season 8, episode 5
The Long Way Home
[-] Chapter 1
Wesley finished off the last Kunari with a crossbow from his long strapped black bag. It hit the floor with a thud right next to Fred's' feet but she didn't even notice. Nobody noticed. Its doubtful Wesley even knew he'd done it. Everybody had cast their full attention onto the newest vampire with a soul. His peroxide blonde hair shined in the afternoon glow of Los Angeles. Angel stood shirtless with his skin smoking glaring at Spike. He was overwhelmed with jealousy and anger. Since they had been informed of Hecate and Osiris resetting the balance in this reality he was waiting for an opportunity to see if, by chance, he was one of the new super vampires. But when he felt that familiar white hot sting his hopes were crashed as though they were a building due for demolition, taking his Buffy into the world of day, sitting with her on a park bench when she was old, caring for her at anytime when she got sick and maybe even start back up their relationship. But it was impossible now, probably still impossible even if he was one of the new vampires. He had responsibilities to his friends and to Wolfram & Hart.
And the thing he loathed most in the world was given all the opportunities that he wasn't. Spike could be the one to take her to work in the morning, pick her up at sunset and possibly even make love to her. Angel turned away from the scene and grabbed his black trench coat that hung on a hook behind his desk. He swung it around himself and leaned casually on the only sturdy wall in his office. He refused to meet the gaze of anyone who offered it. Buffy had watched Angel as he did this and she knew exactly what he was feeling. She too had hoped for the same things he had. She turned her attention back to Spike who was jumping childishly in and out of the direct sunlight. He laughed with extreme happiness. "This is bloody brilliant, it must be my soul or a reward or something for y'know saving the world and all that jazz..." he said as he continued to sway in and out of the sunlight patch. Buffy ran over to the nearest curtain and pulled it across, casting Angels' office into its usual gloom.
"Okay, that's enough of the Hoky Poky there sun tan Barbie," she said whilst connecting one curtain the other.
"What's happening to me doc?" Spike asked Fred.
Wesley began, "Spike there's something you should know-..." Angel let out a heavy breath that he wasn't aware he was holding and interrupted Wesley by saying,
"I'm gonna go and get cleaned up and y'know, find a shirt." Only Buffy seemed to notice what he said. She watched as he called the elevator to take him to his apartment on the second floor. She listened inattentively as Wesley explained everything to Spike about these new super vampires. He concluded by saying,
"And that's when Hecate and Osiris reset the balance that Willow...upset, if you will."
Spike began to reply, "well whatever happened its bloody brilliant..." Spike said more after that. There were a lot of 'bloody'sand 'shagging's but Buffy didn't take any notice. She backed out of the crowd and headed after Angel towards the elevator. She heard the ding and it only caught the attention of Xander. He looked at her and nodded in agreement. She weakly smiled and turned into the elevator. She emerged into Angels' living room. She expected bigger but it was still a nice place. It had the same decor as his office except there were still cardboard boxes that hadn't been unpacked yet in various areas of the room. She looked around for him but had no luck. She opened the double doors to his bedroom and spotted the big king size bed with dark silk sheets. The curtains were drawn so the only source of light was coming from inside what seemed to be the bathroom. She heard the sound of a shower coming from there to. She sat herself on the end of his bed and decided to wait for him. She didn't even know what she was going to say to him. She just knew that she had to console him or something. Even though they hadn't got off to the best of terms since she got there, old habits die hard. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the sounds of tiles cracking and angry grunts coming from the bathroom. Without thinking she shot up from the bed and ran to it. It looked bigger than the living room. A huge silver tub was placed in the corner with a toilet and sink to match next to it. A white curtain was drawn across one of the walls but she could just make out Angels' muscular silhouette through it. His hands were cradling his head and his shoulders seemed to shake. Buffy timidly pulled back the curtain. Angels' knuckled were covered in blood and the tiles on the wall he was facing were shattered. One shard had cut his foot. He released his hands from his head and shot Buffy a glance. She weakly smiled. He looked so defeated and exhausted...helpless. He sat himself down in the shower, pulled his legs up to his chest and let his head fall onto his knees.
Buffy kicked off her boots and stepped into the shower. The warm water flowing towards the drain soaked inside her socks as she sat down next to her beloved vampire and pulled her knees up to her chest like he did. She grabbed one of his hands and he lifted up his head.
"What're you doing? You're dripping wet," he said. She spotted the small swell of tears along the rim of his bottom eyelashes.
"Shhhh," she replied. She pulled his head down to her shoulder and he abided. Buffy couldn't think of somewhere she would rather be than there, with her Angel. The warm water from the shower head fell onto Buffys' white I HEART NY t-shirt.
He felt the warmth of her breath as she exhaled onto his neck. She sat there with him, dripping wet wearing everything but shoes, just cradling him. The world around them seemed to melt away, her worries over the new slayers, the new super vamps, Willow and now Spike seemed to go with the world. She could have stayed there until her skin turned to stone.
Meanwhile downstairs in Angels' office, Fred had taken Spike back down to the lab to study his new found resistance to sunlight. Wesley had taken Kennedy to get herself cleaned up and Xander stayed with Willow in Angels' office among twenty-one rotting demon corpses. "So Buffy and the guy who owns this place had a thing?" Willow asked him.
"Angel, Will, and it was a lot more complicated and intense than that but I guess so," he replied bluntly.
"Will she be up there long?" Willow asked innocently. Xander exhaled heavily.
"When it comes to Angel Will, I wouldn't be surprised if she was up there until tomorrow."
Angels' shower had begun to lose its supply of hot water. But a cold shower seemed like the most necessary thing in the world right then. Angel took his head from Buffys' shoulder and gazed into her oak leaf green eyes. She looked back, her blonde her wet and sticking to her face and neck. The water had washed the blood from Angels' hands and down the drain. He kissed her solemnly on the cheek and she felt a slight shiver run through her as he did. He got to his feet and turned off the shower. She had never really paid much attention to his nakedness until then. She longed for him to sit back down next to her and just take her head in his hands and brush his cold lips against hers. Instead he shakily stepped out of the shower and offered her a hand to get up. She took it and got to her feet. Two towels were on the rack next to the sink and he offered her one. She took it from him. She watched as he wrapped his securely around his waist and silently went to leave the room to let her change out of her wet clothes.
Ever the gentlemen she thought. "You don't have to go, I mean it's not like you haven't seen me before and I just spent a good half hour with you in your...de-clothed...state," she said hesitantly. He never turned to look at her. Instead he said to the door frame,
"It's not that, it's just...too much temptation." He pulled the door swiftly from its frame and exited the room. She agreed with him, it was hard to stay away from him when they were apart and harder when they were together. She took off her discount clothes from Golden Pines and wrapped the fuzzy white towel around her underarms. It fell to about the length of the top of her knees. When she stepped onto the dark carpet of Angels' bedroom she found him sitting, fully clothed, on the edge of his bed. His dark locks of hair were still dripping wet which showed he didn't even take the time to properly dry himself. She sat down next to him and contemplated the carpet as he was doing also. They sat there for a good minute before Buffy broke the silence.
"So what happens now?" she asked quietly.
"I don't know," he replied lifting his head from the floor and looking at her. "What do you want to happen now?" she looked up and met his gaze. Her expression told him her answer but he never returned it. They both dropped their eyes back to the carpet in unison.
Buffy began, "I guess now that Willows' going to be fine I go back to Cleveland-..."
"With Spike?" Angel asked interrupting her. Buffy stood up from Angels' bed and looked at him.
"Can we not do this again?" she asked exhausted.
"Not do what?" he growled in retaliation.
"You know what," she replied. It was like she was dreaming again, being in Angels' room, wearing next to nothing reminded her of the time she spent at the Hyperion and the dream she had about it whilst driving to Wolfram & Hart.
She stood dazed as she began to flash back.
She picked up exactly where she left off in her dream on the way to Wolfram & Hart except she was fully conscious now. They had just finished their argument and Buffy had agreed to spend the night in her dead lovers' arms after she arrived at the Hyperion after the leaving what was left of Sunnydale. "Buffy?" he asked in an almost in-audible whisper.
"Um-hm?" she replied. Her eyes were closed and she felt herself drifting to sleep.
"Do you um... think you might be cookies?"
"Huh?" she said confused.
"Remember...the cemetery in Sunnydale...the cookie analogy?" he reminded her cautiously. He regretted asking her the second after he'd asked. He knew that that question could only lead to an argument or them making love. He knew which one he preferred but he couldn't, not with Buffy, not then not ever. Her eyes widened as she realised what Angel was asking her. She lifted her head from Angels' pillow and turned to read his expression. Deep down she hoped he was joking, she knew this conversation was not going to go well.
"Oh," she replied. He furrowed his eyebrows to non-verbally tell her that he was expecting an answer. "Well now who's mister twenty questions tonight," she asked awkwardly.
"If you'd rather...not...then we could...not," he said hiding his expression. She sat up and wrapped the bed covers around her waist. He rested his head on his hand which leaned on his pillow and he seemed to take a mental image of her face. Beautiful he thought.
"Angel, I love you," she started. She spotted that modest grin that she loved so much spread across his face.
"I love you too," he replied.
"And no matter how old I get, or how much time passes, nothing will ever change that. You know that right?"
"I know, I know because I feel it too." She smiled her own familiar grin that Angel loved after he said that.
"But as far as me being done baking...I haven't heard the oven timer ding yet," she stated painfully. It killed her to say this, he was offering her his mind, body and soul but something told her that it wasn't time.
"But Buffy...you're not the one and only chosen anymore, Sunnydale's' gone, this could be your chance to attempt that normal life you've always wanted." He was pleading for her selfishly now. He had spent four years restraining himself from asking this of Buffy, and it felt good to let it out.
"Is it? Angel there are girls in this hotel, girls in this city, state, country and all around the world who have just suddenly woke up with this huge power. They don't know what's happening to them. It's my job to fix that. How can I possibly find a normal life doing what I do?" she asked rhetorically.
"I could go with you, help you-..."
"No you couldn't, you have your responsibilities just like I have," she raised her hand to his cheek and looked around at the cardboard boxes labelled Keep, Discard, Wolfram & Hart and more. He spotted this and understood what she was saying. "It would be selfish of us to rush back into things, as much as I want to; it's just not our time-..."
"It's not our time yet," he said correcting and interrupting her. "I'll have you Buffy, even if it kills me-..."
"Even if it kills us," she corrected him with a soft kiss to his forehead. The new touch between them made the tension grow. She dropped her gaze from his forehead into his penetrating eyes. They uncontrollably grew closer and closer until Angel could feel her sweet warm breath flush against his hard cold skin. Their noses brushed together and Buffy felt shivers originate from the balls of her feet up to her knees and head. "If...w-we...allow something to...happen h-here," she stuttered in a wholesome whisper.
"Things...could go h-horribly...wrong," he stuttered too in reply. Neither of them could fight it anymore, the tension grew and grew until they were crushed under it. They fell into each other. His hand caressed the fine hairs on the back of her neck as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. She placed both hands on the back of his neck so that he wouldn't let go.
Never let go of me she pleaded to him in her mind. One soft kiss led to another and another until he felt her tongue part his lips and gain access into his cool mouth. They both fell uncontrollably back onto the bed in a trance of passion and lust. She'd wanted this for so long, hungered for it and it was there for the taking. She was losing control but she couldn't care.
She felt it then as his hand traced up her back to her bra leaving Goosebumps in its tracks. She felt the guilt of allowing him to lose his soul, the shame of being so easily seduced and the regret of knowing she had to let go of him. She took her hand from behind his neck and returned them to his chest. She pushed as hard as she could and he was almost sent sprawling off of the bed. She shot up from the bed and over to the door. "I'm sorry," she said with tears in her eyes.
Angel began, "Buffy, I-..."
"I can't," she fumbled around the doorframe until she found the doorknob and turned it to the right causing it to swing open. He watched as his Cinderella left the ball without leaving as much as a glass slipper in her place.
After that night during her stay at the Hyperion Buffy and Angel never spoke of that night or told anybody that it happened. Not even Willow. Their first real conversation since happened when Wesley offered Buffy the manor in Cleveland and the awkwardness was still there. She didn't want to take the chance that she might lose control like that again. She loved him enough to let him go.
Buffy felt herself fall heavily back into reality and she took her stare off of a dying plant in the corner of Angels' room. "No I guess I don't," Angel replied to her previous statement.
"What?" she asked dazed. She had lost track of their conversation. She continued, "Oh right. Angel about Spike...if he wants to come back with me I'm not going to stop him, I could use him when training the girls. And now with the new vampires he would be a big help, but it's his choice. I hope you'll understand that."
"Buffy, I do really, but Spike?" he winced when he said Spikes' name.
"Do you know any other vampires with a soul that are one of these new uber-vamps too? Because if you could just point me in the direction you'd be a real big help!" she said loudly. She saw Angels' casual expression turn to despair. He took his gaze from her and dropped it to the floor. She gripped the root of her nose between her eyes with her index finger and thumb in frustration. She knew that Angel was hurting over the fact that the thing he loathed most in the world could now watch the sunset and live in a world he was no longer welcome to. "Angel, I'm sorry, I didn't-..." Before she could finish Angel had already gotten to his feet and started towards the door.
"I think um...Fred may have some stuff that'll fit you. I'll uh be right back," he said as he slammed the door shut behind him leaving a grief ridden Buffy damp in his room, alone. She sat herself back down onto the bed and dropped her head into her lap. She had no control over the coming tears that dominated her usual rosy cheeks which had turned a grim pale colour in light of her princes' departure.
[-] Chapter 2
Buffy lifted her head from her hands and stroked back the stray golden hairs that shadowed over her eyes. She was almost completely dry now but her towel kept her cold. Cold. That's what she felt emotionally and physically. She didn't mean to hurt Angel but it was like her words vomited out from her mouth. She sat upright staring at the doors in silence but they didn't open. She decided to wonder about his room. She picked up his pillow and held it to her face; Angels' scent teased her as she cuddled it like a loved one. It was so dark so she turned on a lamp on his bedside table. It lit up three unpacked cardboard boxes, the one on top labelled Keep. She opened the flaps on the top and found that the box was full of old and thick novels. The one on top seemed to be the oldest. She picked it up and read the cover. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. She flipped through the creased and yellowing pages. She got about two thirds through when a small white piece of paper fell from one of the pages. It floated on the air of the room before silently dropping to the carpet like a dove's feather. She looked down at it in confusion. She folded over the book and carefully placed it back in its box hoping Angel wouldn't notice that she had been snooping. He didn't need more ammunition if another argument broke out.
She bent over and picked up the paper. But it wasn't paper; there was a hard material on the back of it. She flipped it over in her hands as she stood back up. It was a photograph, a creased and cold photograph of her, Buffy. She recognised it as the one she used when she ran for homecoming queen in senor year. She held it in-between her fingers and smiled. It was one thing for Angel to say he loved her, but she was positive now that he did love her. Angel she thought.
She heard the now annoying ding of the elevator coming from Angels' living room. She didn't care, care about anything actually. He opened the doors to his bedroom holding a plain white button-up shirt and jeans.
"Fred said that she's sorry if they're a little creased but-..." Angel stopped speaking as he spotted Buffy standing at the foot of his bed holding the photograph he stared at for hours almost every night. "Okay," he began, "I know you're thinking...this is a little weird with me y'know keeping a photograph of you-..." he was stopped again when he spotted Buffys' expression. She was smiling a beautifully extreme smile and had tears in her eyes. She ran at him, almost at full force and collided with his body. She kissed him firmly and passionately and held the back of his neck so he wouldn't and couldn't pull away. He didn't even try too. It had been so long since he'd felt Buffys' warm lips against his; he was weak in the knees and so was she. She slowly moved down from his lips to his neck, kissing and caressing every bare spot of skin she could. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been so happy. He dropped Fred's' clothes and picked up Buffy, careful not to untangle the small knot she had tied her towel with.
After a few minutes they stood there just holding each other, content with the world and what was happening in it. Angel spoke first.
"Not that that wasn't one of the happiest moments of my life but-..."
"We can make it work," Buffy said into his chest interrupting him.
"Make it work?" he asked in confusion.
"I could drive to L.A on weekends or y'know you could come to Cleveland and we'll talk on the phone all the time and-..."
"Buffy, what are you saying? You wanna...get back together?" he asked in hopeful sadness.
"More than anything," was her reply. Buffy started making her way up his chest to his mouth with small and soft kisses. It killed Angel to know that he had to pull away. "Is something wrong?" she asked exhausted as Angel pulled away and turned from her.
Angel began to stutter, "No, nothings... n-nothings wrong, it's not wrong but-..."
"Okay it's not wrong, I get it. Angel what is it? Me?" she asked with a croaky voice. He turned to her, wearing the same saddened expression as she was.
"No, of course not. I couldn't want anything more than what you've just described but... it's not wrong...but it's not right." Angel words seemed to slap Buffy much harder than any vampire or demon ever had. She was stunned, she was throwing herself at him and he was denying her. Knots and needles seemed to emerge in Buffys' torso.
"W-what?" she seemed so defeated to him. Angel wished that he didn't have to do this, but he knew it still wasn't their time, not yet.
"Buffy, back at the hotel we promised each other that we would have each other someday even if it kills us? I just don't t-think that...someday...is today," he said fighting the sting of flowing tears behind his eyes and curling his hands into fists.
"You're saying you don't want to be with me?" she asked in the same defeated tone.
"More than anything-..."
"Then what's the p-problem? A-Angel I love you."
"I love you too, more than anything in this world, but its n-not our t-time, we have responsibilities, l-lives. If we just rush back into things it would be selfish Buffy," he couldn't look at her, not directly. One slight glance into her enticing eyes that stung him as she stared would make him melt into her.
"But i-i-I need you," she pleaded.
"Buffy you were right," he concluded.
"What?" she asked confused through the waterfall of tears streaming down her cheeks onto her damp towel.
"Back at the Hotel, when the roles were reversed...you were right. You said it wasn't our time. I just, I don't know, I just don't think your oven timer has rung yet." Even though Angel used the cookie analogy his words still stung her as though they were the actual English phrases. She didn't know what to say, she'd pleaded and threw herself at him but on some level she understood what he was trying to make her believe, but she wasn't convinced even he believed it.
"You can't go all cookies on me Angel," she said firmly.
"Buffy what you're asking me is very...complex," he said descriptively. He thought about each word he was going to say before he said it. He couldn't risk saying the wrong thing and watch Buffy storm out of his room...not again.
"Actually I think it' kinda simple, Angel I'm throwing myself at you! Who cares about our responsibilities? I died for this world. Twice." Buffy began to get angry, Angel could see her clenching her fists and teeth as she spoke and it was like she was spitting her words at him. "You'd think the universe, out of gratitude, would give me this one little thing." She unclenched her hands and teeth and looked at him, full with despair. "Please...I don't think I can do this without you."
"Do what Buffy? Live?" Angel asked. He knew of Buffys' stubbornness and if she wanted something badly then she usually did everything she could to get it. To get him.
"Live...live in Ohio...train the girls...look after Dawn...pretend like everything's okay I mean you're the only one I can be honest with," she persuaded with many hand gestures.
"Buffy, you've been looking out for Dawn your entire life. You have friends that will help you with the girls and as for Ohio...you'll adjust. In my two-hundred and forty-eight years I've never met anybody stronger then you." Buffy could see and recognise Angels' own stubbornness. She was getting nowhere. She wanted to be with him more than anything else in the world at that moment. She made her last chance to grab hold of what could be the start of her normal life.
"A-Angel... I-..."
"N-no." That simple world almost made him break the wooden legs of his bed and ram it right through his chest; he saw the slight confusion and utter disappointment on her face. But he knew what was right for Buffy, even if she wouldn't admit that she knew it too. It wasn't their time, not now. Possibly not ever but he wouldn't let himself think like that. It was what he dreamed of every night, his first thought as he'd wake up in the morning. "My answer...is no."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Downstairs in Angels' office, Willow and Xander were still sitting near Angels' almost broken desk but Kennedy had joined them now. Wesley was helping security clear out the demon corpses from the office and the lawyers, clients, Gunn and Lorne had all returned to the building and didn't seem to even acknowledge the evidence of carnage that had took place in their absence. It seemed that while the gang were taking on the Kunari's, Eve had done a runner but Nicholas had stayed behind and huddled near the coat rack at the back of the office. The carpet was ripped and blotchy and the walls were completely unstable. Every wall lamp had had the glass either smashed or ripped off and the only evidence of their being curtains in the office were the spread out chunks of dark fabric.
Willow and Xander had been waiting for Buffy for over an hour now. They were all exhausted and just longed to be back at 1630 Revelow Drive, Sunnydale, CA. But they would just have to settle for the manor. The manor was a lot more spacious and grand than Buffys', now demolished, house. But that house had so many memories. Before Willow lost her memory and before the incident with the dream catcher in the graveyard, Willow sometimes sat awake at night and remembered simpler times. Like when her and Xander would hang out in Buffys' room watching foreign black and white movies while Joyce Summers would bring them the occasional snack. Things were easier for them then.
Kennedy and Gunn made small talk in the corner while Lorne and Wesley spoke in whispers on the opposite side of the room.
"Will, how're yea doin?" Xander asked in a huddled whisper.
"Um, okay I guess. Buffy says my memory will be back once I fall asleep so I just wanna get back to...where ever it is that you guys keep my bed. I do have a bed right?" Willow replied with concern on her last sentence. Xander laughed.
"Yeah, it comes complete with a comfy mattress and sheets." The elevator behind the desk that Willow and Xander were perched on top of made its, now irritating, ding and a blonde woman wearing a plain white shirt and dark blue suede jeans and boots stepped onto the creamy carpet. Xander got up from the desk and greeted Buffy with a light and simple smile. Willow did the same.
"You okay?" Buffy asked Willow.
"The next person that asks me that is gonna get a taste of my witchy powers and...whatnot," Willow said with a smile. "I'm fine."
"Okay," Buffy laughed. Wesley caught her attention from across the room.
"Angel?" he asked. Buffy turned to him. She wouldn't meet his gaze for fear that Wesley might catch on to something she didn't want him to.
"He'll uh... be down in a m-minute," she stated plainly. The awkward tension in the room rose as the small group stood and sat in silence. Kennedy left Gunn's' side and joined Buffy next to Willows'.
"So... Willow tree gets her ol' noggin fixed after a good night's sleep I'm told. That's good right?" Lorne started. Xander looked up from the carpet because he figured nobody else would. He gave Lorne a reluctant smile. Xander and Lorne hadn't really built a relationship like Lorne, Buffy and Willow had. Most of that was his fault he thought. The weeks he'd spent at the Hyperion were shady, mostly because of the glass cylinder of whiskey that he permanently held in his hand during his stay.
The sound of Fred's' small heel and Spike's' loud British accent outside the office broke the silence. They entered the office and continued their conversation.
"Spike, I'd still like to study you're new molecular structure that makes you newly immune to sunlight. I wouldn't advise that you go frolicking around L.A beach because it's possible this new immunity could be temporary," Fred said.
"And what? Have you and team of science geeks tie me up and take a peek at my insides. I don't think so. But if you wanted to tie me up I wouldn't say no," Spike smirked in reply.
"Spike!" Wesley said loudly. Spike rolled his eyes and scoffed. He backed up against a sturdy wall and surveyed the room. Buffy hadn't acknowledged his presence. Once again the elevator doors slid open with a high pitched ding. Angel emerged from the elevator and gave Wesley and Gunn a nod. Buffy didn't want to wait around for people to casually ease up to the question, "so are you going or staying?" so she spoke up just before Angel could start a sentence.
"Well I uh, I think we should get going. Giles will be worried and y'know Faith's probably got herself into some sort of trouble by now," she said. Xander and Willow got up from the desk. Willow felt awkward giving everybody a hug goodbye because as far as she knew they were strangers so she silently slipped out of the office while Xander shook hands with Gunn and Angel and waited in the lobby for her friends.
"See ya soon," Xander said to Gunn as he released his hand. Buffy gave Lorne, Gunn Wesley and Fred a hug and turned to Angel. It was probably the most awkward and embarrassing moment of her life. She didn't know whether to go in for a hug, handshake or just smile. He seemed just as uncomfortable as she was. She wanted to hug him, my god she wanted to kiss him but she couldn't. Not now.
"So we'll talk soon?" she mumbled to him.
"Yeah we'll uh...keep in touch. Drive safe," he replied in a low hush.
"I will," she sounded. Everybody dispersed from the room. Wesley took the blood stained werewolf case file from Angels' almost destroyed desk and stood by the door. Gunn and Lorne headed to the left of the hallway while Fred headed towards the door to the lab.
"So, what's your plan?" Xander asked Spike near the wall to the left of Buffy. Spike tore his back from the wall and crossed his arms as though he was thoughtful. Buffy cut in before he could reply.
"You're welcome to come back with us Spike," she said lowly and half-heartedly. Deep down she wanted Spike to return to Ohio with her but she wouldn't admit it. Ever. "I mean there's plenty of room, and I'm sure Giles would have a field day when he see's you."
"Angel," Wesley called from the door. "A word?" Angel was glad for the excuse to leave. Of course he never ever wanted to leave Buffys' side but he didn't want to be there for the moment when the thing he loathed most in the world went home with the person he loved more than life itself.
"Sure," he replied. He gave Buffy a departing glance and placed a hand on her shoulder. She nodded and he left the room with Wesley.
"I'll go find Willow," Xander announced. "We'll meet you by the car." He left the room leaving only Buffy, Spike and the awkwardness alone in the room.
"Buffy," he began. "When I got back, Angel told me you were in Rome and for a long time all I could think about was getting out of this place and coming to find you. But whether it was some spell that Nancy boys' cronies cast, as much as I tried I just ended up back here.
In Wolfram & Hart.
If living with you in Sunnydale taught me anything it's that everything happens for a reason and fate has a way of getting what it wants and all that philosophical junk," he smiled and continued, "trust me there's nothing more I'd want than to go and be by your side Slayer, but...I think...for now...my place is here.
Protector of the innocent and all that.
You may not want to know me, but you do and you know me well enough to know that sitting around teaching a bunch of girls the pointy end of the stake isn't me. I need to be here, on the front lines battling the forces of evil with my new superhero powers." Buffy laughed at the end of his speech.
"Practice that in the mirror a few times huh?" she smirked.
"Well y'know, I wanted to get it right," he laughed. "By the way, do I have a reflection now?" he asked with a growing smile at the thought that he would be able to see his appearance in spoons and water.
"Maybe," she started. She began heading for the door of the office. Before she exited she stopped and turned to Spike. "Let me know how it goes," she mumbled teasingly.
"Will do love," he replied. But he doubted she heard him. She was already out the office and into the lobby. He peeked around the edge of the door frame and caught a glimpse of Buffy's angelically beautiful hair fall down to her shoulders. This could get interesting Spike thought as he too left the office and began his new destiny at Wolfram & Hart.
[-] Chapter 3
As Buffy left Wolfram & Hart through its huge oak doors the world seemed to come rushing back to her. Since she'd been at Wolfram & Hart everything outsides its walls seemed insignificant and meaningless. It was like the building and the people in it were the population of some secluded planet.
Evil planet...but a planet that her Angel lived on.
Part of her wanted to turn back, to feel the same sense of not worrying but like Angel said, she had many responsibilities. She admitted to herself that having Spike around would have eased the load a bit, if nothing else he was the person she went to for advice a lot of the time back in Sunnydale and the one who held her while she slept in a stranger's house a few months ago. The task ahead of her, training the hundreds of girls, maybe thousands from around the world, but in order to train them she had to find them. And then there was the issue of the new vampires. If what Hecate and Osiris said was true, then the new vampires usually spawned in the area were a Slayer lived, so she assumed Cleveland must be in chaos and Giles must have no idea what's happening. She would have to explain it to him, she knew that telling him that Spike was alive wouldn't be a summer picnic...but he needed to know.
Even if he didn't want to know.
Buffy felt the fresh outside air embrace the fibres of her –Fred's'- clothes and it seemed to take her mind of her thoughts. Wolfram & Hart parking lot seemed a lot bigger to her the second time she saw it. The cars were all virtually the same, sleek, black, tinted windows. It was probably Nicholas's' vision of heaven on earth. She couldn't recall seeing Nicholas after she got up from being almost pummelled to death by a Kunari; she assumed he'd run away with Eve. She was angry with him of course, but she knew that he'd made it very clear the moment they met about a month ago. My job is to look after the Manor, not you he'd said. She could see though, the pain in his expression as he watched Buffy and Xander and Willow getting crushed under the Kunari's. He was a reasonably powerful warlock, or so she assumed when he made their contract appear from thin air back in Golden Pines, but he was helpless. Buffy knew a thing or two about having power but being rendered useless.
One car stood out against the crowed though. Giles's' cherry red car stood in the crowd of black metal. At that moment she thanked God for the fact that Giles had abandoned his car in the desert when he took the potentials on the vision quest or it would have been swallowed by the crater. She found her way through what seemed like a wonderland of parked cars until Giles' cherry red car came properly into view.
Willow was sitting in the passenger seat with her eyes closed and her head on the closed window. They had all been awake for hours but Buffy knew Willow had gone through a lot more than them.
Kennedy and Xander when leaning heavily on the side of the car, Xander was shouting something at the car and from Buffys' view it looked like Kennedy was punching the hood of it. Buffy quickened her pace and found that Kennedy and Xander where pummelling Nicholas against the car. His tie was lose, mouth bleeding but miraculously his sunglasses had managed to remain on his face. Buffy grabbed Kennedy by the shoulders and tossed her at the black car behind her. She heaved Xander arm off of Nicholas' shoulder and placed both hands on his torso and sent him hurtling to the floor.
"What the hell is going on here?" Buffy demanded. It was around 2 o'clock in the afternoon and the heat was beginning to wear on her. Kennedy got to her feet first.
"Are you high? You saw what that British asshole did to us!" Kennedy exclaimed in anger.
"He was about to leave us to die Buff!" Xander chimed in as he straightened himself out.
Buffy began, "what he did to us? It wasn't him that beat us to bloody pulps and crushed us against the floor-"
"He might as well have Buffy, he stood there and watched!" Kennedy interrupted.
"He had no choice!" Buffy spat.
Kennedy began, "but he-" she stopped abruptly when she caught Buffys' glance. Kennedy was the type of girl that hated being told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Partially she blamed the fact that from early birth she was bathed in luxuries, she had the best toys, the best clothes even the best room in her house. She figured that the reason her mother spoiled her so much was because of her parents' divorce. Her parents divorced when she was twelve and that's when she began acting out. She stayed living with her mother in New York while her father moved to London with a plastic big breasted hooker. But when she was fifteen she was approached by a man claiming to be her watcher. He explained to her the truths of this world and she believed him without question. When she turned sixteen she told her mother she was going to be attending a boarding school in San Diego, which she did...but only partially. Mostly she spent her time training and studying.
When she turned nineteen her watcher was killed by the bringers and she was brought to Sunnydale by one, Mr. Giles.
Kennedy hated authority figures, she only did what she was told when the request came from the mouth of her watcher. Deep down she felt like he failed her, or she failed him. Since meeting Buffy she learned that Buffy was in charge, Buffy had the life, Buffy had the friends and if she wanted her life with Willow she would have to have a life with Buffy too. A lot of the time she protested when Buffy asked something of her, but slowly but surely she was learning to trust Buffy, and even sometimes Faith, like she did her watcher.
"Both of you just get in the car," Buffy spat. Kennedy angrily pulled the latch on the back door of Giles car and climbed in. She exhaled heavily and folded her arms across her chest. Xander bowed his hand towards the floor and began walking in the direction of Nicholas' car. "Actually, Xand, I think it would be best if you rode with Will and Kennedy," she advised. Xander turned and didn't argue. He gave a weak smile and hauled himself into the driver's seat of Giles' car. Nicholas was sitting on the floor beside Giles' car and was holding his head. Buffy knocked on the window that Willows' head was leaned on. Willow met Buffys' gaze and rolled the window down. "You saw that huh?"
"Yep," Willow began drowsily. "I get what you did though."
"Thanks, you okay?" Buffy asked.
"I'm fine, just a little woozy," she replied.
"Well in the interests of Xander going all homicidal on Nicholas I'm gonna ride with him, kay?"
"Sure, go, I'll be fine."
"You sure?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy I'm a big girl...I think. I guess I'll find out soon," Willow sounded.
"Get some rest." Willow tiredly nodded her head and rolled up the window. Buffy fell to her knees next to Nicholas. "You okay?" she asked.
"Had better days," he replied. "Don't suppose you'd give us a hand?" Buffy got to her feet and offered her hand to Nicholas. He took it and pulled on it strongly to get himself to his feet. Buffy allowed Nicholas to put his arm on her shoulder and together they walked a couple meters away in the direction of his car. She hauled him into the passenger seat and she climbed into the drivers. A car horn honked from across the lot and Buffy noticed the cherry red convertible heading for the direction of the L.A roads. Buffy watched as it went out of view and she exhaled heavily and took her hands from the wheel and to her lap. Her face dropped in the same direction.
"We'd better get a move on Buffy, Bob the Builder and Tabitha might get to far ahead," Nicholas croaked.
"J-just a sec," Buffy stuttered. She turned her face towards the sign to the rear of the car that read WOLFRAM & HART: ATTORNYS AT LAW. Buffy realised that she didn't want to leave. Going back to Cleveland seemed like asking her to go back to high school. The people –person- she loved most in the world were in that building and she didn't want to cut herself off from them –him-. She did feel the sudden urge to abandon Nicholas in his current state and run at full Slayer speed back through those evil doors were they –he- lived and worked.
Nicholas began, "Buffy-"
"I said I need a minute!" Buffy exclaimed. She caught Nicholas' surprised expression and brushed back her hair with her hands. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, it's good to see you take of that nothing bothers me because I'm Buffy Summers mask for a change," Nicholas taunted. Buffy smiled weakly and gave one last look at the big black sign with the white letters. "We could go back?"
"What?" she asked confused.
"Obviously you feel that there's something more you need to do in there. Here's your chance," he advised.
"But I-"
"Buffy I've been around a long time. I have my share of regrets. Letting you lot get battered by a horde of demons would be the newest bullet point on the list. Go, tell them you love them," he concluded.
"Him" she corrected him quickly.
"Whatever you need to believe kitten," he smiled. Nicholas watched as Buffy battled with all her instincts and urges to not pull the latch on his car and run towards the doors. Her aura was practically screaming to him. Minutes past and he noticed the river of tears rush from the corner of her eyes and along her angelically beautiful lashes. "Well?"
"I can't," she whispered.
"But you can Buffy!" he said happily and loudly. He wanted this for her, he tried to convince himself the only reason he wanted Buffy to go and see Angel and Spike, or just Angel as she tried to convince herself, was so that he wouldn't have to witness her moping around the manor for the next fortnight. But he was starting to realise that it might be because he didn't want to see her unhappy. He tried to shake his feelings off with a sharp shake of the head. A tear fell from Buffys' eyes onto Fred's sea blue jeans.
A drop in the ocean.
"Well?" he sounded.
"If I go in th-there i-i...y'know why am I even telling you these things? You don't even know me," she whispered angrily.
"Oh I think I know you well enough by now kitten. But you know yourself that you're not angry with me...only yourself," he replied. Buffy let out a breath that she wasn't aware she was holding and began whacking the back of her head against the head-rest of the driver's seat in frustration. She stopped abruptly and looked at Nicholas wide-eyed.
"I think I liked you better when you were letting me get pummelled," she joked. Her tone suddenly changed to one of complete despair. "If I g-go in t-there, I know I won't come out. Everything I've wanted since I-I was in High School is in that building a-and-"
"You're afraid you'll lose control and cost the big boss man his pesky soul," Nicholas finished her sentence for her a bit more Britishly than she would have.
"W-well yeah...I guess. And now with Spike I-" Buffy stopped as she turned to Nicholas and took in his appearance. She could see why a lot of the new Slayers had a crush on him. He was incredibly handsome...but Buffy wondered whether the senor partners made him so. "How do you do that?" she asked with no relativity to her previous and unfinished sentence.
"Do what?" he asked.
"Get me to talk to you...I mean really talk and make things feel slightly better," she smiled unknowingly.
"Could be my devilish charm or my frightening good looks. Of course under my recent bruises I'm probably mistaken-" he boasted jokingly.
"Y'know I think if you were made of chocolate you'd eat yourself," she replied in the same joking tone. After a moment of sitting in the silence of the car Nicholas spoke up.
"Maybe we bought our masks from the same store," he said taking of his sunglasses and staring at Buffy. She met his gaze and understood what he meant. The nothing bothers me because I'm Buffy Summers mask that she wore, as he kindly put it.
His eyes were a beautiful shade of green, relatively equal to her own but possibly darker. He had the innocence of a child in them...they were beautiful and Buffy couldn't understand why he hid them.
"I uh...g-guess we should get going them," she stated after Nicholas put his sunglasses back on his nose and she wiped the moist puddles from under her eyes.
"If that's what you want," he replied. Buffy turned the key in the ignition and began to reverse from her current parking spot. She stopped and turned to him.
"Thank you," she said.
"Your welcome Buffy," he beamed. Buffy smiled and put the car in reverse. She silently rode down the streets of Los Angeles filled with thoughts of Angel...and occasionally Spike. Nicholas rummaged around in the glove compartment and found himself a few sutures for his cuts and bruises. He healed fast. By the time they reached the city limits the bruising around his mouth had become just a dark red shade. The benefits of being supernatural Buffy guessed. She wondered what Nicholas was exactly.
Well...except British, which was obvious.
She knew he appeared to be a man, nobody she'd give a third look to on the street. But after meeting Glory she learned her lesson. Don't judge a book by its cover or the book might try to kill your sister and end the world. Is he a demon? He knows magic so it could be a possibility. How old is he? He looks about twenty-five but then again...so did Glory.
They caught up with Xander, Willow and Kennedy near the interstate. They questioned her on what took her so long but her reply was, "I had a few things to clear up." Buffy was disappointed when she saw Willow was still awake, she'd hoped that she may have fallen asleep in the car and by the time they reached Golden Pines she may have her memory back. She was certainly drowsy but Buffy couldn't blame her. When the scoobies and Nicholas and Kennedy reached Golden Pines they spotted the familiar sign welcoming them into the small town. It was around 8 at night. They'd been at this spot in the car only hours before but it felt like a lifetime ago to Xander.
Or maybe somebody else's life.
They discreetly drove passed the church were Buffy, Kennedy and Xander had encountered the first uber-vamp. A single police cruiser was parked outside and the L.A morgue must have driven out to the small town on the city limits to recover the bodies. A few more people than the old woman and her dog were walking around the cramped streets but Nicholas could tell by their body language that they were all scared out of their whits. Xander suggested they park the cars in the High School's' parking lot so they wouldn't attract too much attention. They couldn't risk that somebody from the church might recognise them. They stood together on the sidewalk outside the High School; Buffy stood in-between Kennedy, Xander and Nicholas while Willow leant drowsily on the gate. The sun had gone down about ten minutes before their arrival. Nicholas announced as he looked at his expensive watch that it was 8:24 p.m.
"Okay...so we know a Slayer lives here. Any idea on were exactly?" Kennedy chimed. Everybody's gaze suddenly fell to Willow.
"Whoa whoa whoa-" she began but Buffy cut her off.
"Will-" Willow cut her off.
"No, I know you guys think I'm some big Mystic Meg but I think you've got it wrong. I mean the thing with church was weird y'know but I was a fluke...a strange fluke thing," she rambled.
Buffy began, "Willow I know this must be scary but a girl's life is on the line here and you're the only one who can find her-"
"No pressure or anything" Xander added.
"Just concentrate," Buffy continued. "You sensed something was wrong with the church...you can do this Will, I know you."
"Yeah well that makes one of us," Willow replied. Willow closed her eyes and stood alone for a moment. Willow felt something pass through her, it was neither hot nor cold or big or small but it was something. It made the tips of her fingers tingle and Buffy could have sworn the roots of her delicate auburn hair twinged to a shade of white. Willow opened her eyes and they were black, empty and terrifying.
Magic side-effect Buffy, she's fine Buffy thought. Willow's eyes became their usual brown colour. She exhaled heavily and began falling. Kennedy caught her by the shoulder.
"T-that way...I-I think," Willow whispered as pointed at the direction that lead to a row of houses. The group followed as Willow and Buffy lead the way. They twisted around street corners and through cramped alleyways. They eventually ended up on the front lawn of a white picket fenced house with a mail box labelled Grover. "Your girls' in there I think," Willow said. Buffy smiled at Willow and began to walk up to the front step were a porch light beamed.
"Whoa, whoa," Xander said as he followed Buffy up the front lawn. "Buffy what are you doin'?" he asked as he grabbed her arm.
"I'm gonna go talk to her..." Buffy said tentatively.
"Well yeah I got that part. But have you thought about what you're gonna say? Hi, I'm Buffy...a Vampire Slayer and so is your daughter, whatever her name is, and by the way she's gotta go half way across the country with me to learn how to kill demons?" he stated sarcastically. Buffy knew he was right. She hadn't given much thought on what she would say. She was more focused on getting there than actually what she would do when she got there.
"I'll think of something...I'll improvise," she said as she shrugged from his grasp.
"Buff, you don't know anything about this girl. Her age, her name I mean what if she's younger than Amalia?" he warned.
"I'll handle it!" Buffy whispered angrily.
"I'm going with you," he said as he followed her up the path. Buffy didn't have time to argue but before she could get her finger to press the button for the door bell an elderly African American woman with short black curly hair and red lipstick opened the door wearing white pyjamas and a silk night gown.
"What's all the commotion?" she asked at Buffy and Xander. Buffy suddenly froze up and didn't seem to have any control over her mouth. Xander watched and waited for her to reply but decided to step in and save the day.
"Evening ma'am. My name is Xander Harris and this is Buffy Sum-" Before he could finish the woman took on a shocked and frightened expression.
"It's you!" she announced. "The people from this morning's service...it's you. You saved us!" the woman sounded happy and excited more than anything. "You killed that thing," she said referring to Buffy. Xander nudged Buffy back into reality.
Buffy began "uh...I guess so yeah, it's kinda' my job-"
"The lord sent you to us this morning...you must be an Angel," the woman announced. The sound of his name caught Buffy by surprise. She'd built a barrier over the years against it but since she'd been at Wolfram & Hart the brick had been ripped apart.
After all, all brick was is sand and water.
"Sorta," Buffy replied. Before she could say anymore the woman had already ushered Buffy and Xander into her house. It was kind of a cliché, a typical old person's home with antique tea sets and grandfather clocks but it was cosy and reminded Buffy of simpler times when her and Dawn would stay with their Grandparents.
"Jim!" exclaimed the woman up the stairs. Xander and Buffy were lead into the living room.
"Mary?" exclaimed a man from up the stairs. "What's goin' on?" Mary and Jim sat on the sofa opposite Buffy and Xander and Jim just luridly gazed at Buffy. "What you people did this morning was a miracle sent by our lord and saviour," the man said. "Bless you."
"Thank you sir," Xander said. "Actually we were wondering if you have a daughter. Or grandchild maybe that lives with you?"
"Alicia!" Mr. Grover exclaimed. Jim Grover was a burly old man with thinning white hair. When Alicia entered the living room Buffy and Xander recognised her right away. She was the girl who the Vampire from the church had by the neck when they first entered the church. She'd escaped when Buffy and Xander went in.
"Y-yeah?" she stuttered. She was olive coloured in skin tone and had long black hair that was tied in plaits. She wore a purple vest top and pyjama pants to match. Her read glasses hung on the edge of her nose. To Buffy she still seemed kinda shaken up. Who can blame her she thought.
"We have some people here that have asked to see you," Mary said. Alicia seemed taken aback when she saw Buffy and Xander but adjusted a lot quicker than her grandparents. Buffy took the rains this time.
"Alicia my name is Buffy Summers and this is one of best friends Xander Harris-"
"I know," Alicia stated plainly. Confusion overwhelmed Buffy and Xander instantly.