(Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the 'Buffyverse', I am just a fan!)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Season 8, Episode 6
Settling In

[-] Chapter 1

Alicia seemed to contemplate Buffy; she looked at her and seemed to see everything Buffy had been trying to hide from her friends. Alicia seemed a little weary of Buffy for some unknown reason but Buffy and Xander had no idea how Alicia Grover from Golden Pines could possibly know who they were. "What d'you mean you know?" Buffy asked puzzled. Alicia bowed her head in embarrassment and Buffy took the hint that she didn't want to say.

"Uh, maybe this is a conversation we should have with Alicia's mom and dad. Are they around?" Xander queried. Mary Grover exhaled deeply and cleaned her glass with a nearby hanker-chief.

"My Coni-Mae died two years ago...drowned," she said.

"I'm so sorry," Buffy started, "Two years ago I lost my mother to tumour.
Mr. And Mrs Grover is it possible for me to go with Alicia upstairs or a walk around the neighbourhood? Just the two of us."

"My rooms upstairs," Alicia cut in before her grandparents could reply. Xander thanked Mrs. and Mr. Grover for their hospitality and told Buffy he would wait for her near the cars with Willow, Kennedy and Nicholas. She agreed and was led up a wooden staircase into Alicia's, not so spacious, room. They stood in silence for a while; Buffy leaned on a wall covered with posters of Physics theorems and one of Elvis. "So..." Alicia said as she sat down on her purple quilted bed.

"So..." Buffy mimicked. "Alicia...downstairs when you said you know me...w-what did you mean? Like you know me from the church or-"

"Well I don't know you...personally...I know...o-of you. I, um-" Alicia cut herself off as she began rummaging in a light green painted bedside cabinet and pulled out a leather bound book with a small latch. "Maybe this'll explain it better," Alicia said nervously. Her hand shook slightly from side-to-side as she handed Buffy the book. "G-go to the um...l-latest entry," Alicia said. Buffy smiled timidly and flipped through the pages of the book. It was her diary and by the looks of it she had had it since she was around eleven. Buffy began to read.

Dear Diary,
Hi it's me. Obviously
Actually lets start over. I saw her again. Last night when I was asleep. Who is she? Like you'd tell me if you knew. She's blonde I know that much. But why have I been dreaming about her for months now? I just don't get it. Every night it's a different story. I guess it all started at school when I felt this thing pass through me and then gravity seemed to kinda' attack me. Stacey loved that. Bitch. Since then I've been such a klutz...always breaking things. Grams almost buried me when I broke her Jesus statue.
Last night she seemed older somehow. And there was this big cyborg guy thing. She called him Adam. I think...it's kinda like flashes. Sometimes I just hear the words. Other nights though there are these things...monsters from some cheesy movie. Growing and spreading. But in every dream there's always a girl. It's not always the blonde woman. I actually think I saw me in one before. Maybe it's not just me; maybe it's something in the cafeteria at school. That's preposterous if you take into account people's weight and build and cross reference with health issues and diet...
Then this morning. The blonde woman saved us all from one of the monsters from my dreams...in the church. She saved us. Who is this girl?

Buffy folded the covers over and placed the diary on Alicia's desk. Of course she'd be having dreams...I have them she thought. She looked at Alicia who looked back like she knew Buffy. Even if not personally. Buffy began to part her lips to begin this difficult conversation But Alicia seemed to have the same idea.

The both said simultaneously, "You've had dreams about me," and "Who are you?" The girls just laughed it off and Buffy began to speak again.

"I'm...the...I'm the Vampire Slayer," she announced nervously trying to read Alicia's reaction. Instead she pondered Buffy, possibly for any signs of craziness. Alicia was defiantly smart enough to spot the signs and she'd probably already found about a million from that simple sentence.

"The huh?" Alicia asked. Then came the awkward conversation of telling a young girl that she would now have to leave her life behind her. Buffy started off by asking Alicia her age, she was sixteen. Buffy told Alicia that when she too became sixteen she was called to be the Slayer. One girl in all the World. Alicia looked like she was about to grab a notepad and begin taking notes. Buffy was rather brief on her explanation on the shadow men who created the first Slayer but she said enough for Alicia to understand. Half-way through the legend Alicia asked who Adam was and Buffy explained about Adam...but not the Initiative.
That was a risky topic.
She told her about Willow and how she used the Scythe to make every potential Slayer into a living breathing killing machine, although they weren't the words she used. Buffy chose every word she said about Ohio very carefully as to not frighten and anger Alicia as she did Kate a month ago. When Buffy finished her life story she watched and waited for a reaction from the newest Slayer.

"So..." Buffy said again.

"It's a nice story Buffy. Really convincing but you must be joking. Vampires, Demons and Slayers. I'm a science nerd, physics to be exact. You can't just expect me to believe something just because you say it's true," Alicia argued.

"In your diary you mentioned feeling something pass through you at school?" Buffy said.

"Something I ate," Alicia argued.

"The dreams you've been having...about demons and stuff,"

"I like horror movies,"

"The Vampire!" Buffy said angrily. She watched Alicia's expression fall. "Yeah...that thing in the church, that thing that I killed...was a vampire Alicia."

"It was the middle of the day Buffy. Could have been just a drug addict from the river," she argued. After strenuous conversation with Alicia, Buffy convinced her that not everything in the world can be categorised into particle diagrams. "What do I tell my grandparents?" Alicia asked saddened.

"I don't know," Buffy replied in the same tone. "I've actually only done this once before but thanks to my friends they took care of the family of the girl."

"What am I expected to do there Buffy? Eat, sleep and murder?" Alicia asked tearfully.

"Murder? Alicia being a Slayer does not mean we're above the law. Vampires and demons are soulless creatures. Well not all demons, some are okay...it's a long story. But I have a sister, Dawn...she's not a Slayer but she lives with us in Cleveland. You'll go to school with her three times a week and the rest yeah there will be training but it's not like military school. You'll be safe...looked after," Buffy declared.

"What do I do?" Alicia asked.

"About your family?" Buffy asked.

"No about the family fish tank," Alicia said sarcastically. Buffy smiled weakly and bowed her head. She didn't notice that Alicia had moved from the bed and opened her laptop computer. She began typing and clicking.

"What're you doing?" Buffy asked.

"You say that if I stay here then one of those new vampires will be made...well I can't do that to my family. My Grams has been through enough with mom and now with the church. A few weeks ago I applied to a school off the coast of Louisiana for science and robotics. They never replied but if I scan and print the brochure you could say to Grampa Jim that you're from the school and that I've been accepted," she announced.

"You think they'll believe me? I mean they saw me Slay a vampire this morning," Buffy thought.

"It's worth a shot," Alicia persuaded. Buffy took the false acceptance brochure from the printer under Alicia's desk and began to exit the room. Alicia's eyes followed her.

"I guess I'll uh...go through my stuff. Start packing..." she said. Buffy stopped before she could step onto the landing and turned to Alicia.

"Alicia...I'm sorry. I hate this...I hate being here and that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil and that we were chosen to fight it. But this has to be your choice. I'll only do this if it's what you want?"

"It's what they need," Alicia replied. As Buffy slowly descended down the stairs she seemed to let her mind take the wheel. She thought that Alicia was way too responsible for her age. She looked after her grandparents when it should be the other way around. Guilt consumed Buffy again as she felt responsible for Alicia having to leave her home. Buffy had spent a good half hour in Alicia's room. Fred would like Alicia she thought. Mrs. Grover was making tea in the Kitchen while her husband Jim was asleep on the living room couch. Buffy slowly stepped back out the living room as to not wake him. Mrs Grover spotted this from the kitchen.

"Oh don't mind him dear...all he needs is a cookie and a magazine and he'll be awake all night," she laughed. Buffy smiled too. Buffy placed on her fake smile and became a fake student recruitment teacher from the Louisiana High School for science and robotics. She handed the brochure over to Mary and she read every word carefully. She put the brochure on the counter and turned to Buffy.

"You're from a school?" she scrutinised.

"Y-yeah" Buffy smiled falsely. It killed her that she had to do this.

"But this morning I saw you-"

"Standard Martial art um...training at the school...P.E,"

"Oh...well how much is this going to cost me?"

"It's completely free Mrs. Grover, your grandchild is v-very smart and uh...smart,"

"Takes after her mother love,"

Buffy smiled. "When will she leave?" Mrs Grover asked.

"Now," Alicia said as she dragged a suitcase down the wooden stairs.

"Now?" Mrs Grover gasped. "But it's so late!"

"Traffic," Buffy added. Mrs Grover grabbed Alicia by the shoulder and pulled her into a warm family hug.

"Is this what you want?" Mary asked. Alicia shot a look at Buffy and she returned it with a smile. It was Alicia's choice whether or not she wanted to go, but she needed to go for the safety of her family.

"Yeah, t-this is w-what I want Grams," she replied. Buffy took Alicia's suitcase from her grasp and waited outside on the front lawn for her to say her goodbyes. In some ways Buffy thought that she had it easier than girls like Alicia. Sure she had the weight of the entire world to carry on her own, but she still got to keep her family and hold on to the scraps of a normal life she could find. During the walk down the narrow streets of Golden Pines Buffy and Alicia made casual small talk about Stacey Noonan, a girl from Alicia's school. Alicia was glad to be rid of Stacey. Alicia said she didn't have many friends so being taken somewhere where she could relate to people seemed like the upside of the situation to her. When Buffy and Alicia reached the High School Alicia walked over to the building and placed her hand on its walls. She had spent days in that building hating life and she felt like she'd left a part of herself in there. Kennedy was pacing around the car and had adopted and angry posture, Xander was sitting incredibly still and Nicholas just hummed an odd old 40's movie tune. Willow was fast asleep across the back seat of Giles car.

Buffy began, "when did this-"

"Ten minutes," he stated boldly.

"We can't wake her up!" Kennedy said loudly continuing her pace.

"I told you she's fine, she's been through quite a bit during the past few days and the spell that tore her memory from her must be wearing off," Nicholas replied to Kennedy calmly.

"How d'you know?" she asked angrily.

"Less of the attitude love, and because I can feel it...mystically. It took a lot to keep Tabitha's memory from her," he said looking luridly at Willow.

"Oh, right...good well... My Willow's strong, s-she'll be fine," Kennedy mumbled.

"Uh hi," Alicia said from behind the trunk of the car with a swift wave of the hand. Everybody froze to take the in the girl. The gang all studied her from head to toe.

"Guys this is Alicia," Buffy said introducing her. "You can all close your jaws and stop staring now." There were mumbled 'Hey's', 'Hi's' and 'Hello's' and Xander and Nicholas loaded her suitcase in the trunk of Nicholas's car seeing as Giles's' was loaded with magical urns and powerful hex bags. Alicia spotted Willow unconscious on the back seat in the car.

"Is she-"

"She's Willow...she's a...llooonnnngg story," Xander said.

"Magical Witch, went evil, did the magic vampire killer spell on girls all around the globe," Alicia said.

"Apparently not that long," Xander said.

"Buffy told me the story," Alicia smiled. Alicia turned to Buffy, "so what now?"

"Now...we go I think?" she said giving brief glances to her companions.

"Sounds good," Xander said.

"Thank heavens, hallelujah!" Nicholas exclaimed. Everybody turned to look at him. "My car, beautiful as it is, isn't good for my back," he said so as not to look like a mad man.

"Alicia, you're with me and Buffy in my car if you'd like to just jump into the backseat, if you'll excuse me...I have to urinate," Nicholas said.

"Where?" Buffy asked. "Here?"

"It's either on that wall or on your shoes Alexander," he said shooting Xander a look. "Why? Tempted to sneak a peek?" Nicholas mocked Buffy. Buffy looked at him un-amused.

"We'll be in the car," she said. Nicholas scurried of to a wall behind the school building and everybody else waited for him to return. Buffy warned Alicia that it was over a day's ride back to Ohio but Alicia assured Buffy that if need be she would sleep on the gear shift. Sitting in silence in Nicholas' car, Buffy was once again overwhelmed with the loud voice of her mind. It told her that she was passed it, she'd done her job and that even if she rounds up all the slayers she'll never be finished. That there'll always be another big bad and she'll never have that country house if she reaches eighty with her Vampire boyfriend who will be the same age he was then.

"Buffy!" said Alicia loudly but Buffy was busy being consumed by her mind. "Buffy!" Alicia shouted again and this time it caught her attention.

"W-what?" Buffy asked. Alicia pointed her finger towards the front windscreen. Buffys' eyes met a young girl about Alicia's age running as fast as she could towards the school. Something had terrified her but Buffy didn't know why until she saw a badly dressed man wearing incredibly tacky clothes jump right over the parking lot boundary wall and landing with even a pause.

Alicia began, "is that a-"

"Vampire," Buffy stated in a hushed whisper. "Can you reach under my seat and get me a stake?"

"For what? You're gonna ask him out to dinner?" Alicia asked frantically.

"Never mind!" Buffy said as she rummaged through the glove compartment and found a #2 pencil.

"Oh, s-stake...wood..." Alicia muttered as Buffy sped after the Vampire. The girls' screams echoed throughout the area of the school and Buffy feared she might be too late. She reached the back of the economics lab and found the Vampire feeding on the young girl who was being forced up against the wall.

"Oh c'mon supper's in a few hours, you know what they say about greedy people," she taunted. The vampire took his fangs from the girls next and revealed to small puncture wounds surrounded by blood. His yellow eyes glowed in the light of the security camera behind Buffy.

"Lucky for you girl, I ain't people," the vamp replied.

"Help me," the girl pleaded from behind the vampire. Buffy pulled the vampire by the fibres of his collar and launched him at a blue dumpster leaving a dent in the metal. The girl looked at Buffy in shock, she was blonde, big breasted and wearing too much jewellery, of course the vampire had ripped the chain around her neck in half and it lay on the floor.

"Run," Buffy told her. The girl sped off as fast as she could back towards the parking lot.

"Slayer," growled the vampire as it got to its feet.
Meanwhile back at the car Xander and Kennedy seemed oblivious to what was going on, probably because they were facing the opposite way to the fence that the vampire had leaped over. When Alicia saw Buffy disappear around the corner her instincts kicked into overdrive. She fiddled around under the front seat and found Buffys' description of a stake. She pulled the latch on Nick's car and ran after Buffy. Alicia was surprised at how fast she actually was. It was only when she turned the corner that she stopped dead in her tracks. Stacey Noonan came running around the building holding her neck and whimpering like a baby. She's the girl the monster was after Alicia thought. Alicia quickly stashed her stake away in her denim jacket. Stacey spotted Alicia and sped up.

"You've gotta help me," she said desperately.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Alicia asked convincingly.

"There was this guy...a-a-a-and h-his face was...a-and then t-this g-g-g-girl," Stacey stammered.

"Y'know I hear that guy has a history of doing this stuff. The last girl this happened to caught like rabies or something," Alicia said. She tried to feel sorry for Stacey but after the hell she'd put her through since junior high and considering she'd probably never see her again Alicia figured it was time she got her own back. "No Herpes I think it was."

"AAARGGHHH!" Stacey exclaimed as she sped past Alicia. Alicia laughed silently to herself for a moment until the sound of trashcans being kicked around and violent punches being thrown put knots in her stomach. But as terrified as she was she couldn't stop her feet moving forward. She peered around the edge of the building and caught a glimpse of Buffy fighting the vampire. She'd blocked one of his punches and returned it with a blow to the stomach. He bent over clutching his gut. Buffy grabbed his hair and pushed down while she raised her knee so the two collided together. Buffy pulled the pencil from her jeans pockets and stuck it through the chest of the vampire. It screamed out like a child throwing a tantrum. Alicia watched as the vampires skin melted from its face leaving a rotten skeleton that crumbled to dust upon the floor. Buffy exhaled heavily and shook the dust from her hands. She turned to back out of the economics lab alleyway when she spotted Alicia shaking at the entrance.

"Y-you just...how did you...I m-mean h-he just-" Alicia stuttered and so Buffy cut her off.

"Hey, it's okay. Look, I'm fine," she said reassuringly. "Soon you'll be able to do that without even breaking a sweat...well y'know that's just a metaphor but you get the picture."

"B-but he j-just-"

"It's okay really...he was one of the easy ones."

[-] Chapter 2

Buffy walked a shaking Alicia back to the car. Buffy had her doubts that Alicia may not be cut out for the 'Slayage' Biz but fate had chosen her to be and Buffy would just have to do what she could to ease her into her new life of demon fighting and world saving. Alicia told Buffy that the girl she saved was Stacey Noonan and Buffy listened attentively but it was hard to understand her because of the occasional stutter and vigorous shaking. They met up with Nicholas at the car who was tapping his expensive Armani shoes against the pavement angrily. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

"Vampire," Buffy casually stated.

"Were? Here?"

"Just around back,"

"Thanks for the warning,"

"Sorry I didn't have to time tell you there was a vampire before he made a girl into chowder," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Yes...well I um...we'd best be off wouldn't you say so?" he asked as he stopped tapping his foot and pulled the latch on passenger seat door.

"Yeah I guess," Buffy said as she shot a smile at Alicia who returned a nervous one. Alicia put herself back into her previous position in the backseat while Buffy did the same in the drivers. Buffy looked around and noticed that the cherry red convertible had disappeared. "Were is-"

"They left when I got back...to get a head start or something," Nicholas replied.

"Oh...okay yeah I guess." Buffy reluctantly turned the key in the ignition and Nicholas's car roared awake. She watched as Nicholas tilted his head to the appropriate angle and began breathing heavily. She assumed he'd shut his eyes but without removing his glasses there was no way to be sure. As they left the borders of Golden Pines she heard Nicholas's breathing soften and his mouth parted ever so slightly. She instantly became jealous of the fact that he'd managed to fall asleep at a time like that. Alicia's pen colliding with the paper of her diary was the only non-mechanical sound in the car. She seemed so trusting of Buffy even though they had only met an hour ago.
Well if we're talking technically.
But from Alicia's point of view or prospective, she'd known Buffy or dreamed of her for about a month now. Alicia would ask the occasional question of Buffy like "What's the house like?" and "Were will I sleep?" or "Will I have a roommate?" She steered clear of the Slayer questions which Buffy found odd. But she soon remembered that when she was called to the Slayer stage spotlight she took a blind eye to the facts and that must've been what Alicia was trying to do. The roads were quiet considering it was 10:27 pm but Buffy envied the people tucked snugly in their beds with their loved ones beside them.
Angel.
Spike.
They're just so similar. I've killed or at least tried to kill both of them at one time or another. When I lose my cool with either of them either the world ends literally or I almost get raped on the bathroom floor. Things were a lot simpler when all they wanted was to kill me. And now they both have a soul.
A beautiful soul that shines brightly and is only visible by my eyes.
I could have a future with Angel...someday. But Spike can...or maybe he can't now with the soul and all. But that doesn't matter to me...all I want is...the both of them. Admittedly Angel has warmth that takes you in and holds you when you feel like the world has abandoned you. But Spike has the element of danger, surprise and desire. Angel's danger side is defiantly worse than Spikes...but Spike can also take you in and hold you. And they both wanted me...I kinda want both of them too. Maybe someday soon I'll be able to choose what my heart wants...but not now.
Unfortunately.

Buffy was interrupted in her thoughts when she took a sharp turn and shook Nicholas awake. He offered to take the wheel from her and let her get some rest. They swapped sides in the car and Buffy shot a glance at the back seat. The car dashboard told her that it was 11:52 pm and Alicia was still journaling. She couldn't understand what she could possibly have to write about for so long. Except the fact that y'know...she was now a Slayer and was leaving home and stuff.
But still.
Buffy had put so much on hold during her two and a half days' trip from Ohio to California.
Faith being shot with some purple energy and emerging with a brand new tattoo of a Dream catcher like the one on the tomb.
The sun-resistant vampires, which Giles was still in the dark about. But she couldn't have that conversation over the phone. Especially when now she knew Spike was one of them.
And then there was Rona and Amalia's mystery man from the cemetery who seemed to have dominance over the vampires.
Part of her didn't want to go back and face it all. She was woken by the feeling of her cell phone vibrating in her –Fred's- jeans pocket. Nicholas was still driving and Alicia was spread out on the back seat with her journal wide-open on the floor. The caller I.D read Xander.

"Hello?" she greeted drowsily.

"Buffy, it's me," Xander said sharply.

"What is it, what's wrong? Is it Willow?" Buffy frantically asked.

"Buffy relax, Will's still sleepin'. We're about a mile ahead of you guys and there's a motel across the street. Kennedy and I are so beat we're in no state to drive so we're gunna grab a room for the night," he said.

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea. We'll meet you there soon," she hung up the phone and stuffed it back into the jeans. Xander had told her that it was 'The Horse & Carriage Motel'. Buffy turned to Nicholas and told him to pull over when he saw the sign. She had woken Alicia too and so she explained to them that they were going to grab a room for the night. Xander had had around a hundred and fifty dollars on him when they found him on the side-walk back in Ohio and Nicholas had some money stashed in the glove compartment. Alicia pulled out a huge wad of cash. From the expression on Buffys' and Nicholas' faces Alicia thought she'd better explain.

"Grams gave me half of my mom's life insurance money and my life savings is in their too," she said. Buffy smiled sympathetically and turned to Nicholas.

"Where are we exactly?" she asked as she turned her gaze to the empty interstate ahead of them.

"Arizona last I checked," he replied. Buffy exhaled at the thought that she still had to pass through Arizona, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and finally Ohio to get back to the Manor. Alicia had insisted that she pay for her own room and that she wanted it for herself so that she could 'catch some shuteye' and journal. And true enough about a mile and a half up the interstate Nicholas found the motel parking lot. Buffy greeted Xander with a sharp hug.

"Will and Kennedy already got a room," Xander said in a yawn.

"She's awake?" Buffy perked up.

"Nope...Kennedy carried her up there. Nick told us before we left it'll be a while before she wakes up properly," he said saddened.

"Just what we need right now...another coma," Buffy mumbled.

"Buff," Xander said with a scrutinizing tone and expression. Buffy tiredly brushed her hair out of her eyes and met Xander gaze.

Buffy began, "sorry...I'm cranky when I haven't slept for two days straight."

"Yeah, I get that," Nicholas had just walked past Buffy with Alicia into the lobby of the motel, "Well I guess I'll follow Nick and go count some sheep, night Buff." Xander placed a comforting hand on Buffys' shoulder before heading in the direction of Nicholas and Alicia. Minutes later Buffy saw Alicia head up the pale blue stairs into a room of her own. Nicholas walked over to Buffy timidly.

"Thanks for the room," Buffy said genuinely.

"Yyyyyyyeesssss...about that. I'm afraid moneys a little short and these room prices are outlandish so I'm afraid..." Nicholas jingled one set of keys in front of Buffy.

"You have got to be kidding."

Buffy reluctantly headed up the same pale blue stairs as Alicia just did with Nicholas. The place seemed deserted except for a very masculine woman with hairy legs and a short bald business man making out at the end of the walkway. They exchanged a few dollar bills before entering their room. Nicholas turned the key in the door of room 257 and it swung open with a high-pitched sound coming from the hinges. The motel room was a typical cliché: its singular curtain was draped over a rain spattered window. The carpet and walls were a pale green and beige colour mix and the covers on the rectangular double bed matched them. The bathroom door to the left of the bed was closed. The one bedside cabinet was dominated by dust and a small lamp stood next to a leather-bound bible on top of it. A dresser at the foot of the bed had a small glass-screened TV perched on top of it. "Well this is...home-ish," Buffy said.

"To put it one way," Nicholas mumbled. "I think I'll just grab a shower." Buffy nodded. She watched as Nicholas entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. She heard his clothes drop to the tiles on the floor and he put down his sunglasses on the sink. The tap for the shower squeaked as he twisted it and then every other comprehendible sound from the bathroom was drowned out by the rush of water from the shower head. Buffy wanted to sleep...really really wanted to sleep but if she didn't shower tonight she knew she wouldn't get a chance to in the morning. She casually cast her eyes on everything in the room; she even flipped through the bible for a minute for two. The small wall clock read that it was 00:34. As she waited for Nicholas to get out of the shower she decided to switch on the TV.

Maybe this thing has TiVo she thought. She pressed the small button with her freezing cold and delicate finger. The TV roared to life and cast a white glow around the room. The static echoed loudly in Buffys' ears as she fumbled around with the remote. She pressed a button on the remote and a random channel came on. She fumbled with the pillows when she heard something that made her stop dead.

"Oh Johnny...yeah that's it! Right there! Yeah Yeah YES!" cried a woman wearing next-to-nothing and sitting on top of a man wearing...his birthday suit. As Buffy frantically changed the channel the door to the bathroom eased open and revealed a half naked Nicholas with just a white towel wrapped around his waist. Buffy couldn't help but stare, the water and steam fell gracefully in-between his abs, he ran his fingers through his tanned brown hair and made it stand on end. As he moved over the threshold he revealed his sunglasses perched on top of the sink in the bathroom. Buffy hadn't noticed he wasn't wearing them until then...she wasn't paying much attention to the part of his anatomy above the neck.

"Free cable porn aye? Full of surprises aren't you love," he said.

Buffy began stuttering, "w-what? No no-no n-no...I-I-I w-was-"

"Relax, what you do in your own time is none of my business," he smiled.

"Honestly...No n-no-" she stopped stuttering as Nicholas held up his hand in a surrender. She steadily got up from the bed and plotted the remote in her place. Her cheeks were flushing out of embarrassment. "I-I'll just g-go grab a shower," she mumbled as she headed to the bathroom. Just before she shut the door Nicholas said,

"Er...you could be in for a cold one I'm afraid." Buffy slammed the door shut and turned the lock. She leaned heavily on the back of it and mumbled to herself,

"Not a problem...really." Buffy undressed and stepped into the shower. She had about seven minutes of warm water before cold water rushed through the shower head and onto her hair. Standing in that shower...small as it was, reminded her of the time she'd spent yesterday in Angels penthouse apartment. When she sat for moments...just moments and he'd look at her and she was wonderful. It was the moments like that that they shared which made leaving Wolfram & Hart so difficult. Every time she left him, or he left her she grieved as though he would never come back. Eventually they saw each other again but the time in-between felt like centuries.
She had gotten in the shower in an average mood but had come out in a bit of a fussy one. She opened the door and found that Nicholas was watching early morning CNN in just his boxers and a pair of blue stripy socks. Buffy was too emotional to notice. She had put on the clothes she was wearing previously and then lay down on the bed with her head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

The Five Stages of Grief.
Stage 1: Denial.
"You alright Buffy?" Nicholas asked.

"Fine. Why?" she replied without taking her eyes off of the ceiling.

"You don't seem in the best of moods-"

"Well I'm fine."

Stage 2: Anger.
Nicholas began, "is it something I've done or-or said or-"

"God Nicholas stop being so self-centred. 'Buffy doesn't look all happy and chipper, hmm? Must be something I did because I'm ruler of the world with my Italian shoes and perfect physique'." Buffy replied in a bad imitation of the man next to her.

Stage 3: Bargaining.
"Okay sorry, forget I asked. But if there's anything I can do please let me know?" Nicholas said taking his eyes off of her. Buffy turned her head and looked into his face.

"No Nick, I'm sorry. You know what will make me feel better? If you go back to Ohio and train the girls and I'll go back to L.A!" she replied with a hint of sarcasm but mostly hope.

Stage 4: Depression.
"I'm sorry Buffy but you know I can't do that," he said sympathetically.

"I j-just, I get up in the morning and think about everything I have to do that day. What training schedule, the girls' schools, Xanders alcoholic tendencies and now Willow's coma amnesia thing. I can't sleep at night because I feel like there's no point in me getting up the next day if I'm just going to feel like this," she said saddened and with glistening tears on her bottom lashes.

Stage 5: Acceptance.
Buffy looked at the wall clock and read 01:07. "Why am I even telling you this?" she whispered to herself rhetorically.

"Maybe...in some twisted way...you think you can trust me," he smiled. Buffy smiled too. "Now come on...what's really bothering you?" Buffy turned away and battled with herself.

Sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger what you're feeling than family she thought. Even though Nicholas wasn't a stranger because they'd been living together for a month...he was as close as she was going to get. Buffy turned to Nicholas, "I miss him."

"Him?...Or them?" he asked. Buffy dropped her gaze. She vowed to herself, not in so many words, that she would never truly admit her feelings for Spike to anybody.
Ever.
She would sometimes wonder if it were Angel in her position and Cordelia woke from her coma...would he love Cordy too?
Possibly more.
When she thought that he might love Cordelia as well as her it ate her up inside. She couldn't do that to Angel, she couldn't bear to hurt him. Nicholas spotted Buffys' struggle with her inner demons. "The things about masks Buffy...you wear them long enough they become hard to take off." Buffy sighed. It was time to give up the mask she had been wearing since she was brought back from the dead two years ago. Her mask had been selfish...although it made her life slightly easier...it worried those who loved and trusted her to be honest with them.

"I-I m-miss them," she said in final acceptance before Nicholas gestured her into his arms were she wept onto his chest. "I-I-I-I c-can't breathe, I feel like a cant b-breathe."

[-] Chapter 3

Buffy cried herself to sleep that night...like so many others. But this time she had company, a stranger that understood and related to her. She remembered that the last time she looked at the wall clock it was passed 2 a.m. She swiftly fell in a slumber on Nicholas's bare chest. When she woke up at 8 a.m. she found Nicholas fully dressed and sitting in a tattered old arm chair near the bathroom door. He had his feet perched up on to the foot of the bed and had his nose buried deeply into 'Child's First Holy Bible.' It was bound in red leather and the writing on the cover was golden.

She sat up and her eyes were filled with the morning sunlight that shone through the window and then the small gap in the curtains. She covered her eyes with her hands and grunted lightly. Nicholas didn't even notice she was awake. She looked down at herself, she was still fully clothed but had a plaid red and green blanket draped over her. She smiled at it and then at Nicholas. "Morning," she said. His head popped up from the book and revealed he was wearing his sunglasses. Buffys' polite smile fell slightly.

"You're up," he responded taking his feet off the bed. Buffy nodded drowsily and folded the blanket off of her.

"How long was I out?" she asked.

"Couple hours," he responded,

"Been awake long?"

"Never went to sleep," he smiled. She smiled awkwardly.

"Did I snore?" she asked.

"No," he beamed. She was about to get off the bed and walk to the bathroom when Nicholas interrupted her. "I thought you might be hungry," he said as he pointed to the nightstand covered in soda cans, various bags of potato chips and liquorish candy.

"You went all out," she replied as she pulled open a can of 'Senor Fizz.'

At the same time a couple doors down Xander was just getting out of the shower. He'd had one of his nightmares that night where he was standing outside the High School and he could see Anya fighting for her life through the north hall window. When he began to run at her he was restrained by Buffy and Willow.

"What are you doing!" he'd ask. But they would just stare at his as he struggled. The dream ended at the moment the Bringer's knife cut Anya almost clean in half. His shower was an attempt at trying to focus on something else. He'd had this dream before, almost every night since the 'incident'.
He'd wake up in the Hyperion and the manor in a cold sweat and not knowing where he was. Although since their little road trip and the frequent naps he'd taken in the car...he'd slept and woken up...completely fine. Sometimes Anya hadn't even crossed his mind.
He felt ashamed of that fact.
He slowly got himself dressed in the same clothes he'd stolen from Golden Pines and read the wall clock.
7:52 a.m.
Every room in the motel was the same but Xander was sure he'd got the dirtiest. Last night he'd opened the door to his room and didn't bother to even turn on the light. He'd climbed straight onto the bed but shot up right when he heard something crunch under him. He'd fumbled for the wall light and spotted the thing he'd crunched.
A Condom Wrapper.
It lay scrunched up on the bed. Xander exhaled heavily and decided to sleep on the armchair. It was arguably one of the best nights sleeps he'd had in a while except for the y'know...night terrors.
He got himself dressed and decided to switch on the T.V considering he was a little early.
Ahhh, he thought calmly, cheap cable porn he smiled.

Kennedy woke up first, her first thought was Willow. She pushed the covers off of her body and turned to Willow who was still laying in the same position that she had put her in before she ventured to sleep. "Will?" Kennedy asked timidly as she brushed a strand of hair out from her face. Kennedy got no reply. Not even a twitch of the fingers like in the movies. Kennedy didn't care to even look at her clock. She gathered up when she needed and took a swig of complimentary mouthwash from the bathroom sink. She took Willow in her arms and headed down to the parking lot. She got a very strange look from the man at the front desk. Kennedy realised he probably hadn't seen that Kennedy had company when she checked in last night because of the dark. She laid Willow carefully across the back seat and tilted in her head to, what looked like to her, a comfy angle. She locked the doors and headed up to Xanders room. She knocked loudly on the door and heard him rummaging around behind the door.
She knocked again. "Xander?" she asked. The door slid open and revealed Xander upper body. Everything from the waist down was hidden behind the door.

"Kennedy!" he said shocked yet with a smile. "You're...early."

"Yyyyeahhhh..." she tried to pear her head around the door to see what he was hiding. "...sorry I just wanna get going," she said with a stern look. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" Xander answered quickly. "Er...y'know what? I uh...need to um...use the bathroom!" he tried to say convincingly. "Why d-don't you go wake Buffy and I'll meet you by the car?"

"Suurrreeee," she replied. Xander quickly shut the door in her face and mumbled something behind it that even with her enhanced Slayer senses she couldn't make sense of. She headed won to Buffy's and Nicholas' door. As she was about to knock the door knob twisted and revealed Buffy fully clothed and ready. "Nice timing," Kennedy complimented casually.

Buffy began, "yeah. A-and Willow? I-is she-"

"No change," Kennedy announced grievously. Buffy smiled awkwardly and sorrowfully. Both she and Nicholas locked the door behind them and followed Kennedy to the cars where they found Xander and Alicia eager and waiting. Buffy and Xander both shot worried glances at Willow and then met each others' gaze. They hugged each other quickly as they were both feeling the same amount of worry for their beloved best friend. Nicholas said that considering meal and bathroom breaks that they should get back to the manor by about 5:30 a.m. tomorrow morning. The thought of spending another day in Nicholas car was sickening to Buffy. But she had to do it.
For Dawn.
After being in the car for around three hours Kennedy, who was driving, turned to Xander. "I'm worried," she announced.

"Me too," he replied. He didn't need to ask what she meant. She regretted telling Xander how she felt but it just burst out of her. She casually shrugged off his sympathetic hand and gave him a cocky smile that he saw right through. He'd known Kennedy long enough to see right through her rock hard exterior. The gang stopped off several times to use restrooms and get the various items of food and water but other than that it was the most silent they had been over the last few days. Buffy assumed that everybody was disappointed with what they had discovered on their trip. Her fantasy was that she would first get to see what was left of Sunnydale since she left, see Angel and fix Willow. But she felt it was naive of her to wish for something good to happen for once.
Buffy without noticing had woken up from a deep sleep in the back seat of Nicholas's car. Alicia and Nick were having clever banter in the front seat and were listening to the radio. I must've dozed off and they moved me back here she thought as she lifted her head from the warm leather of the seat.

"You're awake," Alicia smiled.

"Where are we? What time is it?" she asked frantically trying to focus her fuzzed eyes on the digital clock on the car dash board.

"04:56, we'll get back to the manor at Sunrise," Nicholas announced in a subtle attempt at calming her. She just exhaled heavily and Nicholas and Alicia continued their conversation. "So you were saying about when you toppled over at church choir..."
Buffy glanced back through the trunk window and saw the headlights of the cherry red car. She was unable to see who was driving due to the brightness of the lights.
04:58...
05:02...
05:17...
05:22...Nicholas's sleek black car turned the cliff corner which Buffy remembered lead to the private cliff side estate the manor was on. She remembered the first time she had taken this route to the manor...when she'd left the Hyperion. She could hear the sound of the waves crashing against the small mountain cliff through the small opening of a window, the silence that everybody allowed when they laid eyes on the fortress-like building. It still took her breath away to see its exterior even though she had been living in it for months. As they pulled onto the narrow road Buffy could see the black sky turning a lighter shade of dark blue from the edge of the cliff.
They were a little early.
Buffy expected to see Dawn ready and waiting for her and began panicking when she stepped out the car and walked up to the rusted iron gates and Dawn was nowhere to be seen. She became distracted as Kennedy and Xander carried Willow out of the car and up to the gates beside Buffy. Nicholas and Alicia shortly followed them. He punched in the combination to open the gate and they did so silently.

The manor was still and quiet, the drapes were shut behind the lounge and dining room window and the huge door was open slightly. Buffy looked at her friends nervously and gave them all a get ready look. She raised the palm of her hand up to push the door open further.

"B!" Faith said in more of an announcement than a surprise. Buffy turned rapidly to find Faith wearing dark jeans and a denim jacket surrounded by about twenty-three girls.

"Faith?" Buffy asked. Faith smiled...more like beamed at her. She began walking up the few steps leading to the entrance to the manor and the girls followed. Buffy watched as one girl opened the door to the manor and revealed what she really wished she hadn't seen. The entrance hall was filled with sleeping bags, medical supplies and injured girls. Some worse off than others. The first floor landing was packed with girls, sadly none of which she recognised.

"Well look at the cavalry, just in the Nick of time...pun intended," she winked at Nicholas. The girls hauled in the manor and spread out. As they did so another patrol of around nineteen girls this time left the manor and headed down the small narrow road. They were stocked with weapons and first aid kits. Faith continued, "Guess you got some catchin' up to do. What's with red?" Before Buffy could answer she glanced at Willow. Buffy felt like she'd been given the pieces of a puzzle and she knew she might not be able to put them together and find the missing picture. She turned to Faith,

"Uh...I-Is her room-"

"Yeah, it's still her room," Faith said with a confused look. Buffy signalled Kennedy and Xander to carry Willow up to their room and the two entered the house and disappeared up the stairs. Nicholas shortly followed with Alicia and her bags leaving Buffy and Faith on the porch. They stood in silence for a while, each with questions they wanted to ask each other but were mutually afraid of the answers they'd be given. Buffy started.

"Faith...what happened here?" Buffy asked. Faith exhaled heavily and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"A lot of the girls thought that you'd abandoned us B. I mean last time you left and I was in charge things didn't go so well. Buffy get Axe and Faith and girls go boom. But as for what happened here I don't think that's a question for me. It's a question for Giles and the brat in the library. They hardly ever leave that place...constantly like Zombies with their noses in Demonology or whatever." Faith saw Buffy's expression change when she referred to Dawn. "B-Buffy there's um...s-s-something you should know-"

"I know about the vampires Faith," Buffy said with a stern look at the ground and a single tear down her cheek. Faith was taken aback but before she could say anything Buffy was already inside the manor, passing bleeding girls and bloodied weapons without a single sympathetic glance at either of them.

"Sometimes I don't know why I bother," Faith mumbled as she followed Buffy inside the manor and shut the door behind her. Buffy passed Nicholas who suspiciously rushed right up the stairs without a word to anybody, she passed a curious Andrew who tended to the wounds of a petite brunette girl and she passed Robin who stood by with bandages and alcohol for the wounds. She opened the closed door that lead to the secondary lounge, Kitchen, Laundry room, Basement and finally library. She pushed the double doors open and found the library in complete chaos. Books and volumes were piled upon one another in stacks like a small city on the small round tables. Buffy assumed Willow's magic cabinet had been broken into because there was a smoking purple mixture in a rusted red bowl sitting on the floor by what looked like a coffee shop counter.

"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed hopefully. Dawn's petite body stepped out from behind an empty stack. She wore a red blouse and blue jeans. She looked at Buffy with an extremely uneasy expression.

Thank God Dawn thought in her head as she dropped her gaze from Buffy to the once red carpet. Giles's head popped up from behind one of the piles of demon volumes like he was a curious mole. He sighed heavily in relief at the sight of Buffy and took her in a hug that warmed her physically and emotionally. Giles began to speak.

"Questions later," Buffy smiled as she interrupted him. "I just wanna bask." Giles laughed and hugged Buffy for a second time.
Dawn folded her arms across her chest and walked up to her sister just as Giles freed her from his grasp.

"You okay?" Dawn asked with a plain look.

"Right now? Never better," Buffy beamed.

"Good," Dawn said as she raised her hand from her chest and swung it so that it collided heavily with Buffy's beautifully pale skin. Buffy's head was sent to the left and her smile was wiped off her face. She grasped the area where Dawn had struck her with her left hand. She turned back to Dawn with tears across her eyelashes in complete shock and confusion. Dawn also had tears, streaming heavily down her rosy cheeks, but they weren't ones of happiness or sadness but pure anger.
"I spent two days wondering whether you, Willow and Xander where lying dead in a ditch or river or god knows what else. You abandoned me Buffy. Do that to me again and do not bother coming back," she said in finality. Buffy seemed to hear what Dawn said but didn't take it in; like it went in one ear and out the other leaving a cold draft through her mind.
Buffy's tears now streamed as Dawn's; did but Dawn couldn't bear to look at her sister's face any longer for fear of striking her again. She stormed out of the library without as much as a glance at Giles or Buffy. Buffy glanced up at Giles who refused to look her in the eye. She took that to mean that he felt the same as Dawn but all those feelings left him when he saw her.
Buffy dropped to her knees and she clutched her stomach in emotional pain. Gilles took a seat next to her and held her for moments.
Just moments.
Buffy felt guilty...no that was an understatement...she felt...remorseful and ashamed. Buffy didn't spare a thought during her trip away wondering whether Dawn was okay because Buffy knew she would be. But looking back on it Buffy realised just how right Dawn was...Buffy abandoned her sister in the middle of the night and only shared one single brief phone call during their time apart. If the roles were reversed Buffy admitted she would have done much worse than a slap.

Giles cleared the book piles off the main table and helped Buffy to a wooden seat. He gave her a delicate handkerchief with which she dried her eyes and crumpled it up. Giles placed his hand on hers and said, "Buffy what happened over th-these last few days? Last time I heard from you, you were going to see Lorne and then...well nothing. How's Willow?" Buffy sighed heavily. She'd been dreading having telling Giles all about what had happened but decided then that it was now or never.

"How long yeah got?" Buffy smiled falsely.

"I'd prefer the short version if you would. I've been up for hours," he replied with a laugh.

"When we got to Wolfram & Hart Giles...Lorne couldn't find anything. So we go to the white room and meet somebody called the conduit who summons Hecate and Osiris-"

"Good lord," Giles said taking his hand off hers and putting it around his mouth.

"Cliff notes version...Willow's spells, y'know bringing me back, restoring Angels' soul and now the whole Slayer thing made them angry and so they decided to tip the scale back-"

"The vampires," Giles gasped.

"Yeeeahhhh...the whole amnesia deal was their doing too. Apparently they 'didn't want the slayer interfering before they could re-balance the scale between good and evil'." Buffy said in an imitation of Holland Manners.

"So she's permanently going to refer to me as 'the British man'?" Giles asked.

"Heard that huh?" Buffy asked. Giles nodded with a smile. "No she's upstairs sleeping. When she wakes up she'll be fine. Hopefully it's soon though; I was beginning to losing my mind. But y'know what about you? I mean all the girls, when I left there wasn't nearly as many girls in the entire building than there is out there right now."
Giles seemed to take in Buffy's experience with every word she said. Processing it so that he might say the right thing for the conversation.

"Well um, the moment I got off the phone with you Dawn convinced me to get out of the library. So I got a shower and got dressed and decided to go for a walk...get the morning newspaper and-" Giles was cut off mid-sentence.

"Cliff notes version will do fine Giles, I've been up a while myself," Buffy joked.

"Yes well um...I was pulled into an alleyway by what I thought was a man trying to mug me. Turns out this man had something wrong with his face and had animal like teeth. I refused to believe it at first but when I was bitten at the wrist I suppose you could say I was convinced. The next thing I know I'm in the back of a Limousine with Quentin Travers and several other watchers. They told me of a magical shift in this reality by an unknown force and now vampires can walk around in the daylight-"

"Not all vampires Giles, some. There's this whole thing were...I'm sorry go on," Buffy said interrupting him.

"Well I suppose that's a bit of good news. Anyway they also caught wind of our little spell back in Sunnydale. Since the Council Building and all its records where destroyed they decided to rebuild but changed their plans when they heard of...well...what we did. Over the course of the last few months the council have used the mystics of the Coven back in England and what was left of the money they had to build or buy estates like this...training facilities if you will, all over the world. They came to tell me that it is our responsibility to take care of the Slayers from North America and they will handle the rest. But while they renovate the other buildings around the world girls have been hoarded here by the hundreds. It's only for a few days but Faith has been forced to take charge of round the clock patrols now that there are vampires walking the streets at daylight hours. They're stronger Buffy and-"

"And faster...more intelligent and over-all...better," she said finishing his sentence for him.

"For lack of a better term," Giles nodded.

"God..." Buffy said tiredly whilst brushing stray hairs from her eyes. "How long will all these girls be here for?"

"They said a few days...maybe a week. Buffy we'll get by I promise," he said reassuringly.

"I hope you're right," she said meeting his gaze. "Anything on what happened at the cemetery a few days ago? Faiths' new tattoo and Rona and Amalia's mystery man?"

"We just haven't had the time," Giles said as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
"Y-you mentioned a rule for the vampires immune to sunlight?" Giles queried.

"I'll explain later Giles. Please tell me my room is still my room?" Buffy asked.

"Actually Dawn gave up her room to a pair of Hispanic twins yesterday and has moved into yours. I'm afraid you've earned yourself a dangerously angry teenage roommate," Giles smiled and Buffy did too.

Buffy began, "I'm just glad that I can finally settle in-" Buffy was interrupted by Xander frantically bursting into the library. He was sweating and out of breathe.

"Buffy!" he exclaimed. Buffy stood up from her chair and met Xanders' gaze.

"Xander what is it? What's wrong?" she asked scared.

"It's Willow...she's awake," he announced before setting off back out the library and through the old closed door.