A/N: This one is kinda short, but I really needed a chapter from Abby's POV. F.
Everything ached. Her leg hurt where it was suspended from the traction frame, her side throbbed around the incision they'd used to take out her spleen, it hurt to take a deep breath, and she was covered in a myriad of bruises. Added to the physical pain was the fear.
McGee, Tony and Gibbs had all told her that Jacobi was in custody, that she had nothing left to fear from him, but she couldn't help it. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was the black sedan mounting the sidewalk and not having time to get out of the way. Intellectually she knew it was irrational; but that didn't stop the panic she felt when she was alone.
She knew she'd asked a lot of Tim when she begged him not to leave her, but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He was her best friend; she could always go to him for help, and she needed it now.
Even while Tony and then Gibbs had visited her, he'd still stayed where she could see him. He didn't take his promises lightly, and that was one of the things she liked about him. She knew she was perfectly safe with Tony and Gibbs, but something inside her froze up a little when she couldn't see him. It was odd but she assumed it was part of the fear.
He was there now, sitting beside her bed. He was unusually silent though, and that had her a little worried. Tony had avoided the question when she'd asked him exactly what had happened between Tim and Jacobi, and that made her worry even more. Tim was a reserved guy; he didn't talk about the things that were bothering him easily, and from what she'd overheard when she woke up, he definitely would have something bothering him now. She snuck a sideways look at him. He was lost in thought, his expression somewhere between bleak and pensive. She had to ask. She reached out her hand, the one less entangled in IV lines and other medical paraphernalia, and gently touched his.
"Tim?"
He turned his head and smiled at her. It wasn't the full blown Timmy grin she secretly loved, but a sadder, somehow sweeter smile
"Sorry, Abs, guess I zoned out for a few minutes" he said
"What happened in the evidence garage?" she asked.
"Nothing Abs, don't worry about it" came the evasive reply
"McGee, I heard what you and Tony said, and Gibbs told me that you'd been put on leave for a week. That doesn't happen over 'nothing'" she stared at him, knowing eventually he'd break down and tell her. He always did.
Finally he sighed, running one tired hand across his face.
"I was leaving for the night after they'd gotten Jacobi. I ducked through the evidence garage, trying to avoid them, but I was there at the wrong time. Jacobi made a grab for Tony's gun, and I guess I overreacted" It was clear that he was trying to tell her what had happened without alarming her, but it was like a dam had burst
"I've never thought of myself as a killer, Abs, but I couldn't help thinking about how you looked when I found you, and I wanted to kill him for what he'd done to you. If Gibbs hadn't stopped me, I probably would have pulled the trigger" he admitted. "Now I've gotta figure out how to deal with that"
She was a little stunned by what she'd just heard
"Back up a sec, Tim. You found me?" she asked
"Well, yeah, Abs, how did you think you'd gotten here?"
"I don't know, a random passerby or something" she was horrified by the thought that Tim had found her like that.
He shook his head, chalk white at the memory
"I thought you were dead, Abs. Scariest few minutes of my life" he cut himself off, as if he was going to continue but thought better of it. Wondering what he was about to say, she went to ask but was interrupted by the entrance of a nurse, coming in to take yet another blood sample.
...
McGee took the interruption as an opportunity to duck to the head, needing a few moments to compose himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He knew he'd let his guard down, telling Abby about the near shooting, but he'd damn near blurted out that he loved her. He'd spent years trying not to tell her that particular fact; maybe it was the tiredness? Silently he thanked God for the entrance of the nurse; he could see that Abby was about to press him about cutting himself short the way he had, and he just didn't have a plausible answer.
He splashed cold water on his face, feeling the chill have its desired effect of waking him up just a fraction. If the exhaustion he felt was making him leave his guard down now, how much would he inadvertently tell her before he got some decent sleep?
He sighed, drying his face and hands with paper towel and making sure his usual rigid self control was in place before he went back to her room.