A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter is a bit of a filler, but I feel it develops Arthur's character a bit more.

Chapter 5-Conversations

Arthur looked out into the courtyard which had almost been the place of Merlin's death, as the rain lashed the windows in his chambers. He watched idly as the raindrops slid down the glass pane, criss-crossing each other in some random pattern; a confusion of teardrops.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he get that stupid servant out of his head? He should be focusing his efforts into finding him and bringing him back, not moping around. He had to accept the fact that Merlin was now gone, no longer the person he once knew. But why couldn't he?

The last few days, since he had heard Gwen's declaration of faith in Merlin, he had been turning the possibility around in his mind, that Merlin was not in fact guilty of the treason his father had accused him of. Arthur knew that sorcerers were deceitful and manipulative, but no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that had been was Merlin was, he wouldn't believe it. Arthur had seen the sincerity in his face whenever he spoke to him, the friendship they had shared-although Arthur would never admit that was what it was. Merlin had not an evil bone in his body. Merlin's entire nature could not have been a lie. He had always been loyal and openly talked with Arthur, as no other would, as an equal. Arthur hadn't realised he had counted upon that more than anything for some normality in his life. He knew Merlin as well as anyone.

Or he thought he had.

There had always been something about Merlin, something unusual that he could never quite put his finger on. He had always sensed there was something more going on in that thick head of his than he let on. Of course there was, I have a brain.

Arthur flinched as he heard Merlin's memory speak to him. This had been occurring the last few days; he had no control over it. Every time he thought of Merlin, these old memories would be dragged up, and Arthur found himself anticipating what he thought Merlin would have said, had he been here.

Unfortunately, the Merlin-memory was just as annoying as its real life counterpart.

"Will you cut that out?" Arthur rolled his eyes as he found himself arguing with his own head. The first sign of madness you know...Arthur needed to get away from here before he went mad.

He left his chambers, full of so many memories, and started down the hall, with the vague intention of going for some food, ignoring the voice inside his head which was telling him he would get fat again and would have his sausages stolen once more.

As he turned the corner to the passageway to the kitchen he found Gwen walking towards him, carrying an empty clothes basket. Arthur was ashamed to admit he had been avoiding Gwen for the last few days. Her very presence reminded him of Merlin, and his own confused thoughts drowned each other out. But now he realised, he could no longer shut himself away, he needed someone to talk to, to help him figure out his own heart. He had shamefully neglected her, when she had most likely been suffering the same torment as he had. He felt like a coward, it was now time to act like the prince he was supposed to be.

Gwen saw him coming, her eyes widened and her gaze fell to the floor in a respectful manner. Arthur frowned; he hated to see her being the submissive servant. He preferred her outspokenness, her bravery and her determination to stick up for what she believed in, regardless of the cost. He approached her, and she looked up at him, disappointment reflected in her eyes.

Suddenly Arthur was at a loss what to say. He wanted to apologise, ask her forgiveness for being such a prat the last few days, and ask her what she thought about Merlin; it seemed she needed to talk about this as much as he did.

He flustered around, trying to think of something to say, but his mind was a blank. No change there then, came Merlin's voice. And you said I was the dense one with no luck with girls.

"Guinevere," he said stiffly, nodding to her. He heard Merlin's snort in his mind but chose to ignore it.

"Sire," she replied, dipping into a brief curtsey.

Okay...here went nothing.

"Guinevere...Gwen, I just wanted to...apologise for the way I've been acting lately. I've been an utter idiot and I feel utterly ashamed of myself."

Gwen looked up in astonishment at Arthur's confession. After all, it wasn't every day the crown prince of Camelot apologised to a lowly servant. Arthur then cast about for what to say next. This was harder than he thought; he could take on a man the size of a bear in a tournament without so much of a tremble of fear, but as he had once said, he found it infinitely more difficult knowing what to say to someone he cared about.

"Uh...I...please...forgive me. I've been avoiding you since I know that you would force me to confront all these emotions running inside of me... and I couldn't yet handle it, it overwhelmed me. All of what has been going on lately has been tormenting me, and I'm sorry if you feel I've neglected you and your feelings because of my selfish desires."

There, he thought that was fairly good at representing how he felt, he thought it best to leave out the gaping hole Merlin had left in Arthur's life. He didn't want to seem too emotional. He could almost hear Merlin rolling his eyes.

To his surprise, Gwen looked at him with anger in her face.

"What is there to confront? Why should you be tormented? It is as clear as day and night that Merlin is not guilty of what you have accused him of. How can you abandon him like this, how can you lose all the faith and trust you have placed in him so abruptly? I know in my heart that Merlin is not evil; I know he would never harm a soul, you should also. He is the closest thing to a friend you ever had, how can you believe these lies your father comes out with. You know in your heart that Merlin is a good man; you have seen the evidence of it every day. You should not condemn him like this, perhaps if you took the time to really try and understand him you would know why he would keep this secret from you! You have lost sight of what is important; the friendship and absolute trust you had in each other. Do not seek to gratify my feelings. I am in no doubt whatsoever as to Merlin's innocence as neither should you, if you know him half as well as I think you do. Merlin never betrayed you, you have betrayed him."

And with that Gwen strode purposefully off, with her head held high.

Arthur was stunned. He had never heard Gwen speak with such conviction before, any long speeches of hers usually ended in her rambling and apologising for speaking so directly. But this had been from the heart, and Arthur truly saw her absolute conviction in her eyes.

If Gwen could have so much belief in Merlin, then why couldn't he?

After walking around numbly for a while, contemplating Gwen's words which still rung in his ears, Arthur decided to go somewhere, where he thought he might get at least some answers.

A few minutes later, Arthur walked decisively into Gaius's chambers, without even bothering to knock. The old man looked up from one of his experiments with a weary look on his face. He had obviously been expecting this.

"Please, Gaius. I need some answers," Arthur almost pleaded with him. Gaius knew better Merlin better than anyone. If anyone could have clue as to what had been going on in that boy's head it was him.

Gaius sighed and motioned for Arthur to sit down at the scrubbed wooden table.

Gaius turned, and considered him with a thoughtful expression. He looked better than he had at the execution, but a deep worry and anxiety for Merlin was still etched deeply on his face.

"I am afraid I cannot give you many, Arthur. It is Merlin's right to give you them himself."

Arthur sighed in annoyance, and buried his face in hands. He desperately needed something to go on!

Gaius noted his expression and said: "But perhaps I can help you to make sense of all that is tormenting you."

Arthur looked up.

Gaius sat himself down at the table, heavily.

"I know you must feel betrayed Arthur, it is only natural when you discover someone close to you has been concealing a great secret. But you must listen to what you think is right. What do you believe?"

"I don't know!" Arthur yelled in frustration, slamming his hand on the table. "I have so many conflicting thoughts I do not know where to turn!"

He stood up and began pacing the room, like his father did when in great agitation.

"The Merlin I knew would never betray me, would never harm another person, he didn't even like hunting for crying out loud! He was the one person I thought would always be there, I had complete trust in him!"

"Then why do you doubt him now?" Gaius asked.

"He's a sorcerer!"

Gaius remained quiet for a moment. "I was once a sorcerer. Do you trust me?

Arthur stopped his frenzied pacing for a moment, dumbstruck. He had completely forgotten.

"That's different, "replied Arthur, although he was less certain.

"How so? Merlin has not changed. He has always been a sorcerer. It is something he cannot help, any more than you can help being a prince; he is the same person you met in Camelot, the same one that called you a "royal ass", if I remember correctly. True, he has lied to you, but only to protect his own life, something he has done since as long as he can remember. How is it fair, that Merlin is hunted and persecuted for being who he is? That is what makes him unique. He has every right to resent Uther, and to wish him dead, but he does not. Instead he dedicated his time in Camelot to looking after and protecting you, putting his neck on the line, if you'll pardon the pun. Do not dismiss him so easily. Merlin is and will always be your loyal servant."

Once Gaius had finished his speech, in a quiet voice which seemed to echo into Arthur's very soul, silence seemed to reverberate around the room.

Arthur could not believe his ears. How could someone not help being a sorcerer? Sorcery had to be learnt, hadn't it? That was what made them so evil; they deliberately learned forbidden practises to uses against the king.

The more Arthur thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. Sorcerers were made, not born.

But then, Arthur considered the next part, the part where Gaius has said Merlin had been protecting him. Arthurs first reaction to laugh it off as ridiculous, Merlin couldn't save a drowning mouse in a bucket. Then again, all those times Arthur had been in danger, every time there was a magical threat to the kingdom, Merlin was always there on hand, unafraid, and always unscathed, despite his lack of confidence with a blade.

That light that had guided him out of those caves, branches falling conveniently on those who were about to kill him, the wind in Ealdor, dragons that Arthur couldn't remember killing disappearing with only Merlin's word to confirm it had been him who had slain it...Merlin always seemed to know something before anyone else did.

If anything, Arthur was now even more confused than before. Did this mean Merlin was innocent? His heart said yes, but his mind and the principles drilled into him by his father said no.

Gaius observed his face as he attempted to take all of this in.

"I often said, sire, that Merlin was a riddle wrapped in a mystery. Perhaps if you would take the time to get to the bottom of the mystery, you could solve the riddle."

Arthur nodded weakly at him. He turned to leave and he noticed a large burn mark on the table, scarring its otherwise smooth face. Typical, clumsy Merlin, he thought idly, there was no way this could be the result of an evil threat to Camelot. Told you so, came the jaunty remark from Merlin.

As night fell that evening, Arthur looked once again into the courtyard from his chambers. The rain clouds from earlier that day had finally cleared, revealing the fresh, midnight blue of the sky, twinkling stars and the luminescent face of the moon. Arthur felt a new awakening in himself. A quiet realisation, perhaps all of his conceptions had been false.

He'd listened with his father that afternoon as the hunting party still scouring the kingdom for Merlin reported back on their fruitless efforts. His father had once again been driven to boiling point, screaming out words to describe Merlin, such as "monstrosity", "abomination," and more than once "pure evil." Only then did Arthur begin to realise, these words were not for Merlin, and he began to finally abhor his father's criticisms of Merlin.

He still wasn't entirely sure what he thought of Merlin. Only time would tell that. But Arthur knew now, that hope was coming. This was the clear sky after the storm.

Arthur smiled to himself for the first time in days. Perhaps, his confidence in Merlin was just a little late, like Merlin himself usually was.

Hey! I am never late