I stood on stage and I looked out at the rows of empty seats lining the Grichwen Theater and I sighed as the lights went down and I heard the applause roaring from earlier in my ears and I smiled walking to the front of the stage my heels clicked as they hit the wood.
I took a breath and the applause stopped and silence was all I heard the perfect silence and I opened my mouth to sing but nothing came out and I frowned. My mind was boggled by memories of how I got here and what I lost getting here.
I looked at the ring on my finger thinking about Josh sitting alone in the restaurant but I wasn't in any rush to return to him. The memories came flooding back as soon as I said yes, his name entering my mouth and his face entering my head and I felt guilt; Damon Salvatore.
(Flashback)
I grabbed Josh's hand as we did a swing dance move and he bent over and I flipped over his back with ease landing on my feet and he dipped me as the music ended. I laughed and hugged his neck.
We went back to our table as we clapped for the band.
"Oh, man I love these Monday night swing dance club…" I smiled looking at his handsome face.
Josh's brown hair was always in place never messy, it was slicked to the back in a greasy mess. He had brown eyes and they never showed any emotion they were as unreadable as German submarine instructions. He was a very high up political man in New York. He was a stern man always wanted everything done a certain way and if you didn't do it he got angry. He could be sweet but only when he wanted to which was rare and he wasn't the best lover in bed and the worst kisser but made me laugh when we were alone and he never hurt me emotionally.
"Danielle" Josh stated.
"Yes, my dear" I looked at him sipping my martini.
"I have a question and I want you to take it seriously" he stated.
"Alright I will try" I smiled as he got down on one knee and I grabbed my chest swallowing the drink in my mouth.
"Will you marry?" he asked.
"Josh… yes" I gasped as he slid the diamond ring on my finger with a simple gold band around my finger.
He got up and kissed me softly and I smiled looking at the ring and I looked around at our friends and I swear I saw Damon standing by the door and I shot up.
"Darling?" he looked at me.
"Nothing… I thought I saw something" I shook my head, "We must be getting home I have a show on Friday" I smiled and he nodded.
"I'll get our coats" he got up going to the front door and I followed looking out the door but there was no one.
(Flash back End)
I touched the barricade on the stage and sat on it looking out into the darkness again thinking back farther to when I was turned, and I was stopped from aging and I was frozen in time at 18 forever.
(Flashback)
I turned around and I was jumped by a wolf that I knew was Jules and I screamed as she ripped into my throat and my blood started to flow onto the grass and I felt her clawing at my body and I couldn't scream because I was drowning in my own blood.
I felt her stop and I looked around and my cloudy vision saw a figure lean down and drop blood into my mouth, I felt the cold darkness surround me and I stopped living.
Time passed and I gasped awake,
"Don't move to fast" I heard Stefan tell me
"Stefan…" I breathed softly, "You turned me?" I asked him.
"You have to feed yet" he stated holding out a bag of blood.
"Where's Damon?" I asked him and he shook his head.
"I was wondering the same thing… but if you want to live on drink if not just wait and death will come" he told me getting up, "I have to find Elena make sure she is alright" he stated.
"Alright" I touched the bag of blood as it called to me, it was my life.
I thought about Damon, being with him forever like we thought about and I smiled drinking the blood willingly and it ran down my throat cold but it satisfied the hunger in me and I smiled.
(Flashback End)
I still remembered the taste of human blood how sweet and perfect it was running down my throat and I felt my fangs come out at the thought and I breathed slowly like I watched Stefan do for some many years and I frowned at the thought, Stefan.
I hadn't seen him since that night he saved me I figured he found the same thing I had found that night and he took off in the same manor. Poor Stefan the person I forgot about when I left, he was my best friend and I left him when he needed me most, I did what Rose, Katherine, Trevor and the others did for years, I ran away from my problems like a coward.
I came to New York to let my feelings out and I auditioned and pursued my way into the Les Mis show and I have played Eponine for the past 3 years, like I did back in Mystic Falls, when everything made sense. Stefan had Elena, Damon was obsessed with Katherine and I was just his temporary involvement but than Katherine came back Damon fell for Elena, Tyler became a werewolf and Klaus tried to kill everyone.
I stood up and tell tears on my cheeks and I sniffled wiping them softly away with a tissue. And I pulled out my phone and looked through the contacts at Damon's number that I know he changed and I frowned at the picture of him smirking his devilish grin at the camera a glass of bourbon perched in his hand elegantly.
"Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore" I sang softly and I frowned dropping my purse onto the wooden stage shaking my head as my phone sat in hand automatically going to lock.
Singing was my escape to get my feelings out being alone in a theatre was the perfect place to sing out and not care because no one could hear you.
"And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time" I sat back down on the barricade looking at my screen saver on my phone of Josh and me.
"It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now" I sighed my chest feeling heavy with regret and pain and misery at the thought of marrying someone who didn't make me happy but I remembered what I saw the night I left.
(Flashback)
I leaned on my door to my house seeing Damon curled around Elena's body, both of them naked, ripped my heart out. I heard him knocking on my bedroom door but I kept it shut and my strength was much more than his at the sudden urge of anger and hurt.
"Danielle, move and let me in" He growled.
"Damon… I understand alright… please just… just leave me alone… I knew it was just a matter of time alright… I don't blame you please just go away" I sobbed pushing the door shut again but he threw his weight into and the door swung open and I back up against the open window
"Look at me" he breathed.
"I can't" I stated and he grabbed my chin making me look at him and I felt tears fall down my cheeks and my lips tremble as I stared into his blue eyes that always managed to play me for a fool, that always told me they loved me but they were lying.
"Please" he breathed his soft lips touching my wet cheeks and I pulled my face away from his grip and jumped out the window and landed on my feet running North.
(Flashback End)
Could I forgive him if I saw him after everything I saw and felt that night it came rushing back at the thought and I sobbed quietly to myself standing up and rushing to the edge of the stage and stopping.
"Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time" the pain in my chest grew heavy and I fell to my knees weak with misery.
"It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now" I cried my hands placed in front of me and I sighed,
"Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all" I sang out sitting back on my heels.
"It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now" I cried and my phone rang loudly echoing in the empty theater and it was Josh.
I sniffled and wiped my tears,
"I'm on my way" I answered it.
(Alright) he stated hanging up and I frowned.
Josh hated waiting and he knew my secret and how to torture me and even kill me if I pissed him off enough. I sighed getting up and picking up my purse and walking off stage left and I fixed my make-up before sliding on my jacket and heading to the restaurant on foot.
I felt the weight of everything weighing on my shoulders heavily, Josh was oblivious to my past relationships and the paparazzi following him everywhere and me most times it was impossible to get any privacy or even have a moment to think.
I sighed thinking back to my dream that I had Wednesday night.
I stood in the woods near Niagara Falls where I hunted most the time and as I fed on a rabbit I heard my name being called in the dark and I stood up wiping my mouth and I looked around and I saw Damon like a ghost he was transparent and I sat up in a cold sweat; Damon was dead.
I gasped getting out of bed and running to the window for air and I broke down crying silently as Josh slept through the entire thing. I could feel my heart breaking all over again as I cried.
I stopped standing against a wall controlling my tears as they well up. I fixed my dress,
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I pulled the long black trench coat around my body like I was cold but I couldn't feel the cold any longer, I couldn't feel anything anymore but pain and I wish I could be numb again everything was so much easier when the switch was off.
I started walking again to the fancy restaurant and the attendant opened the door me and I walked in and scanned the room and saw Josh sitting with another man and I wasn't surprised because he always invited friends or potential voter's to join us.
From the back of his head he had a white fedora on and had dark black hair that met hi black suit and that was all I could see and I walked over to them.
"So, sorry I'm late had a few things to wrap up at the theater" I kissed his cheek as he stood and the other man stood with him.
Josh started grabbing my jacket to held me out of it and I turned and everything stopped as I stared at Damon's face.
There was no mistaking it this was Damon Salvatore; his beautiful blue eyes stared under his thick eyebrows at me as my jacket slid off my shoulders, he had a smirk on his perfectly pink lips and he has scruff surrounding his upper lip and his perfect thick jaw and down to his neck slightly, he had a patch under his lower lip as well that was thicker. He was gorgeous in a suit, always was in a proper 3 piece suit; black tie, vest and jacket creased and flat against the white under shirt. He removed his hat and his black hair fell into its amazing careless mess but I know secretly he worked on his hair for hours.
His eyes met reached mine and he grabbed my hand kissing it and said words but I was still in shock as his soft lips kiss my knuckles softly.
"Danielle… Danielle" Josh shook my slightly and I jumped back to reality and looked at Josh.
"Sorry, I dazed out" I cleared my throat sitting beside Josh.
"Quite alright, this is Damon Salvatore, he his new money" Josh joked.
"Well, I know how to spend it learning how to save it is the trick" Damon joked sipping his bourbon.
I felt my anger growing in my body, along with the relief.
Josh started to talk to Damon ignoring me as I ordered a martini and Josh completely ignored me.
"Why were you so late?" Josh finally asked me as I sipped my martini.
"Oh ummm I just needed a moment after the show" I stated briefly looking at Josh before returning my gaze to Damon.
"I was in the audience tonight you were quite good" Damon told me.
"She is quite the Meadow Lark" Josh smiled slightly, "Now, Damon"
"Excuse me but if you don't mind I would surely enjoy a dance with your fiancée if you don't mind" Damon interrupted him.
"That is completely up to her" Josh looked at me urging me with his eyes to dance with Damon.
Damon stood up and held his hand out, his lapis lazuli ring set on his ring finger like I always was and I looked at it before taking his hand and my body rushed with warmth as I got up placing my napkin on my chair as he led me to the dance floor and he held my hand softly in mine and he placed his other one on my waist and I put my other hand on his shoulder.
He pushed backwards as he stared into my eyes passion flowing through move we made around the dance floor. The world was gone in his arms, it was him in me our own world again. I felt so right in his arms so perfect but the music stopped and he seemed to hear it because I didn't as he pulled away.
He bowed and I gasped my chest heaving in everything, there was so many feelings I was feeling right now to describe on would be impossible. I turned away and walked out the door leaving everything at the table.
I held my head as I breathed, I was a vampire feeling these feelings shouldn't be allowed but I was feeling them everyone of them and it was overwhelming my mind and I started to cry as I walked. I kept walking all the way to Central Park and I stopped as the rain came down and I sat on a bench.
"How is this possible?" I asked Damon, I knew he followed me the entire way but I didn't stop, "How in the hell did you find me? Why did you find? Why are you torturing me like this?" I growled.
"It's fun" he shrugged.
"Stop bull shitting Damon… I want serious right now" I yelled and he looked down at the puddles his nice Italian Leather shoes were standing in, "I have been through hell this past week. I can't stop thinking about you and I swore I would not cry over you again and now I can't stop again" I stated, "I have done nothing but cry for the last 3 days because I keep thinking about you, me and everything we've been through and the pain and misery and I thought you were dead" I cried.
"Well I am"
"Damon" I screamed in anger and he actually jumped, "Why are you here? Tell me because I'm losing my mind" I cried hysterical now.
"I need you in my life" he stated.
"For a temporary replacement? For a fuck buddy? I've been there and I can't do it again" I told him.
"Forever… I need you forever… I was stupid to go searching for something I had right in front of me" he stated sliding his hands into his pockets on his black slacks.
"I have avoided this very moment for 3 years because I knew I wouldn't know what to do because no matter what I do I will hurt someone" I breathed pushing my wet hiar off my face.
"What do you want to do?" he asked stepping closer to me and I shook my head.
"That doesn't matter"
"It always matters, what do you want do? You need to be happy, if you tell me that you are happy with the shmuck back there then I will leave right now and never come back" he moved closer to me and I looked at him and kissed him.
I left it in that kiss and I felt his lips push back into mine and I reached up and grabbed his neck in my hands and his hands found my face and he felt so perfect, amazing, real.
He pulled his hands away wrapping his arms around my back and picked me up as we kissed. I felt suck passion and love in that kiss, he was amazing, and he always had been. I wanted him more than anything I ever wanted in my life. I pushed my hand across his wet scratchy face as he put me back down on the ground beneath us and he leaned his forehead on mine running his thumb over my wet cheek.
His eyes were still closed and I felt his hot breath dance on my lips. He tasted so sweet in my mouth I leaned back towards his lips and his brushed mine and the sheer contact excited my body and he brushed his fingers over my lips and I looked up into his open eyes as his fingers ran softly down my bare arm and he laced his fingers over mine and I smiled as he kissed me again.
I forgive him in this moment this kiss was all I wanted forever, just him and me making mistakes, getting in trouble, making love and kissing forever.