Setting: anytime during Mass Effect 1 or 2 Prompt: An argument, between two or more persons, set anywhere with the exception below. Limit: Kaidan must be one of the participants or the argument must be about Kaidan. THE ARGUMENT CANNOT BE ON; CANNOT BE ABOUT; CANNOT MENTION IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM HORIZON
I was late in writing this one so it was never submitted as a prompt and because of that I set it in my version of post ME2
Death by Chocolate
Kaidan sighed in frustration. "For the last time, Shepard, NO!"
"Aw c'mon Kaidan, think of the possibilities." She sidled up to him and ran her hand down his back.
"Where you're concerned I try to avoid thinking of possibilities. They usually get me into trouble." He backed away from her wanting some distance between them so she couldn't get up to any of her tricks.
"I didn't notice you complaining last night. Besides you like adventurous women remember?"
"Yeah that has to be the dumbest pick up line I ever used, and you fell for it. But I must have been crazy because if you get any more adventurous you'll end up killing me."
"Well you'll go with a smile on your face. I never realised you were such a prude."
He looked at her incredulously. "Prude? You say that after last night, and every other night, if I'm being accurate."
"Well I don't see why you are resisting this then."
"Because Joker will have a field day, not to mention the rest of the people on this ship. I've been the butt of too many of his pranks already. I am not going to give him any more ammunition."
"Well, it's not like it's anything he wouldn't have seen on the extranet."
"Yes and if you go through with this cockamamie idea it will end up on the extranet."
"But I thought you disabled the camera he had in here."
"I disabled the three of them that I found but you know what he's like. And he is tight with EDI and she sees everything."
"You're being an old fuddy duddy, Kaidan. Anyway, I really don't need your permission to add something to my cabin. I am Commander Shepard, and the commander of this ship." She stood pouting with her hands on her hips.
Kaidan took a deep breath. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "Don't pull the Commander Shepard crap with me, Mary Sue. I've seen you naked remember, and in a range of positions very unbecoming of a commanding officer."
She stilled and glared at him. "What did you call me?"
"You're name." He was watching her in case she decided to throw a warp his way.
"Get out. Now. At this rate you'll be lucky if you ever see me naked again, let alone in any of the positions that you seem to like so much."
He was dreading the consequences that he would no doubt face for that, but at least it got her mind off the crazy idea she was considering. Surely she wasn't serious?
"Yeah and no doubt I'll be reduced to cold showers again too." He said wearily. "I don't know why you have this hang-up over your name. Commander Mary Sue Shepard, Alliance N7, and Council Spectre, that is who you are."
"Actually you're wrong. We got married if you remember so my technically my name is Alenko. But not for much longer," she muttered deliberately loud enough for him to hear her. "I swear as soon as this damn mission is over and I get some shore leave I'm changing my name. Jane sounds good, don't you think?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Change it to whatever you want, but I don't plan on going through the rest of our lives calling you Shepard."
"You'll be lucky if there is a 'rest of our lives'. I can't believe you're fighting me on this."
"I can't believe you are actually considering it. You're doing this just to get a rise out of me aren't you?"
"I thought you liked it when I got a rise out of you," she said in her most seductive voice.
"Don't think you're going to get around me with that voice. I'm on to your tricks now. And the answer is still no," he said firmly.
"But there's plenty of room, and we could get rid of the fish tank."
"I can see the news reports now. Al Jilani will have a field day. 'Two of the Alliance's most well known commanders drowned in their cabin. Rumours suggest that regardless of the official cause of death listed, the real cause is death by chocolate.'" He crossed his arms. "Let it go, Shepard. It's not happening."
"It would help with your stuffy image anyway." She giggled before giving him a coy look. "If you loved me, you'd agree."
Kaidan looked at her through narrowed eyes. Oh no, I am falling for that one.
"For the last time, Shepard, we are NOT installing a chocolate fountain in the cabin and that's final." He stalked from the room muttering under his breath.
Joker watched as Kaidan threw himself into the co- pilot's seat.
"Trouble in paradise, Alenko? I warned you Shepard was too much for you to handle. But no-one listens to me." He sighed and shook his head before smirking at Kaidan. "You know someone once told me that life is like a box of chocolates….Hey where are you going?"