Goodness! Sorry for such a long hiatus! The time slipped away from me!
10/20/10 リン雨
"Can you hear me?" a strong, male voice reverberated through my head. My entire body ached until it was numb. My thoughts raced, and soon I began to feel the burning pain from the wounds I received before…
"Yes, I can hear you," I responded. I refused to open my eyes; I refused to move in any way. I lay on the ground, surrounded by a bright light that felt warm against my aching body. I tried; I really tried to remember what had brought me to this point. "Is this death?" I asked. Two deaths registered in my brain, from my first life and the one from my second chance. "Oh my god, I failed!"
The voice didn't respond, not for a very long time. "You have died. Satoko has, as well."
My heart shattered to a million pieces rendering the pain of death invalid. "I failed her again. I allowed myself to do the exact same thing as I did the first time!" Why didn't I listen to that voice in my head? The one I blamed on the insanity of the constant déjà vu; it was really trying to tell me what I was doing wrong.
I curled onto my side, covering my head with my arms as if it could hide the shame I felt for myself. "I don't deserve another chance after what I had done."
"Do you truly believe that?"
Despite all the pain the movement of my body brought, I sat up. I didn't know where to look, but I looked around anyway. "I honestly, truly do. I deserve to rot in Hell for what I did to her." The tears that fell from my eyes burned; I wasn't ashamed at them, I was ashamed at the fact that I had failed twice. "She deserves another life, one without me."
"Most humans as greedy as you had been beg for another chance at life, only to relive the life they messed up. Yet here you are, begging to give the woman you love a second chance; willing to give up being by her side so that she can be happy."
I could still feel Satoko's arms wrapped around my body, could still feel her warmth even though she was nowhere to be seen. I closed my eyes, tilting my head to the ground. "I see now: I held her back from what I wanted her to be."
The voice allowed the overwhelming silence to settle. "I will give you one last chance."
My head snapped up. There were two large figures standing in front of me, the same two from my first death. "What?" I couldn't believe what I had just heard.
"But it is the final chance either of you two will get," the voice warned. "Do you understand?"
I nodded my head. "I understand."
"Do you wish to see her before you are reborn?" The figures stepped away, revealing Satoko laying on the ground behind them.
I stumbled to my feet, running to her side to take her in my arms. I held her tightly, repeating her name as I stroked her soft hair. "Satoko, I-" Another bright light engulfed us. It was at that moment did I realize that I didn't have time to tell her how I felt. It was the forth time I missed the chance.
Again, I'm sorry I made you all wait!
I hope you enjoyed. Reviews would be nice!
Until next time, nakamatachi.
~RS