When I retreated to my dormitory, I hoped I would be alone, but I had no such luck. My dorm mates were apparently all up and waiting for me, full of curiosity. One of them got up when I entered, and smiled at me. I refrained from rolling my eyes. I could see her thoughts clearly: she is new, I have to be kind to her. Oh my. She seemed like such a nice person. If I was to guess one thing about this smiling redhead, it would be that she was a good daddy's girl. Or she was trying hard to be, anyway.

She was stretching out her hand. "Hello! My name is Lily Evans. And you are?"

"Belinda Schwarz. Nice to meet you."

She shook my hand, let it go and looked around the room, pointing at the girls in it. "This is Mary," the girl on the bed closest to the door waved at me, "Lisa," a nod from a black-haired girl next to her, "Karen," another nod, "Lucrezia, Susan, and Gandhini." The Indian girl who was mentioned last smiled, and Lily turned back to me.

"So, where are you from?"

And so the fake story goes again...I went to sit on the free bed while explaining, and started to unpack my trunk.

"Do you already know what NEWT classes are you going to take?" Lily asked,

so I got to repeat this, too. "...and I though I'd take history, but the boys persuaded me otherwise." I ended.

"Boys? Which boys?" she asked curiously.

"Well, Sirius and his friends."

The smile, which had been there up till that moment, disappeared instantly. Susan, on the contrary, giggled, seemingly for no reason. Lily curled her lip. "Oh, so you've met them?"

"Yes, what's wrong with them?" I asked, quite curious. Not that they seemed to be my favorite kind of people in the world, but they must have done something really dreadful to anger this smiling creature.

"Well, not much, it's just that they're unbelievably arrogant."

I raised my eyebrows. I sincerely doubted it was just this. "I can see that...but, well, that's not se exceptional, is it?" With these words, I proceeded to close my bed hangings around me.

"No, I suppose it is not." She replied and closed hers.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt really good. It was very early and all my dormmates were still sleeping. I tiptoed to the bathroom and smiled at my reflection in the mirror, causing the lion on my face look like he was about to take a step, one of its legs raised above the other. From this perspective, it was oddly appropriate to be sorted into Gryffindor, even though its lion, contrary to the Czech one, had only one tail. I surveyed the rest of my person. When I wasn't wearing a school uniform – oh, how I despised that thing already! – I was pretty, almost beautiful. I would have to work on the uniform a bit, I decided. We'd never had much money, so I had been used to sewing my own clothes back home. I knew any noticeable adjustments would earn me a punishment, but I trusted myself to be able to do some small improvements which wouldn't be obvious, but would still help the overall appearance. I looked back to the mirror. I used to sleep naked at home, but that wouldn't probably please the other girls very much, so I brought a couple of old T-shirts with me for the purpose. It wasn't the sexiest night clothes ever, but after all, there were only girls in my dormitory, so it didn't really matter. I brushed my teeth and hair and silently changed to the damned uniform. After that I headed for breakfast.

It took me a while to get down to the Great Hall, but still, when I arrived, there was next to nobody there. I took my seat and waited for breakfast to appear. I knew I would be getting my timetable that day, and I wondered if it was still possible to cut out the History classes. When I was halfway through my eggs and bacon (there were some upsides to Britain after all!), Sirius and his friends appeared in the Hall and they sat down right next to me.

"You see, Belinda, I just realized that your surname means the same thing as mine..." Sirius commented. What a smart boy, I thought. Unfortunately for him, with saying this, he put his hand around my shoulders. "Let go," I said, trying to keep the tone polite, at least. When he didn't move, I smacked his hand away. He smirked and tried again. I shot him a nasty look. "Stop it," I said sharply.

"Oh, come on, don't be so cold," he said, and this time, his hand headed for my waist. Before it reached its target, however, I had a wand pointed at him. I didn't say anything, I just looked at him. "You wouldn't," he said, but his hand didn't move. "Try me," I replied. He was considering me. James Potter and the one called Peter were watching with interest, while Remus was trying to pretend he wasn't there. Sirius seemed to decide that since he had audience, he couldn't fail them, and his hand moved in my direction. "Rictusempra," I stated almost lazily, wondering whether his friends would try to revenge him. Fortunately, it appeared that they didn't fight with girls, since James merely took out his wand an ended the tickling. Sirius got up from his position on the floor where he had been curled up, laughing, and turned to me. "Okay, good one," he smiled and sat back next to me. I raised my eyebrows at him. I had no intentions of hurting him, but it did not mean I thought he was cute.

"Do you find it quite normal," I asked him, "that a girl needs to take out her wand to prevent you from touching her?"

"Oh, come on, it was only a little touch, it wouldn't have killed you, you know! You could just give me a smile!"

"Fick dich," I muttered under my breath, actually remembering with fondness that particular lesson with Marlene. She agreed with me that to be really convincing, the right kind of insults in German was the main thing I needed. Watching her sit there with her prim and proper attitude and dictate the particular phrases and their explanations had been one of the funniest moments of my life – but practicing the use afterwards was even better.

Perhaps Sirius would have offered an answer, but at that moment, Minerva McGonnagal got to me in her task of handing out timetables.

"So, what classes do you want to take, Miss Schwartz?" She asked.

"I'd like Defense, Transfiguration, Charms and Arithmancy. Is that possible?"

She checked my OWL results. "Yes, it shouldn't be a problem," and she handed me my timetable, moving on to the boys. I shot it a quick glance. This day's first class was Arithmancy – probably my least favorites out of all the subjects I'd picked, and so not exactly what I wanted to start with, but I would survive.

As I was one of the first people to arrive in the Great Hall, it would make sense that I'd be among the first in the Arithmancy classroom. However, finding one's way around the castle was far from easy. Fortunately, there were helpful portraits all around, so while I wasn't precisely early, I wasn't late either. I sat at one of the free desks in the back rows, took out my parchment and quill and waited. Just before the lesson was to start, Remus Lupin entered the room and, after looking around, went to the seat next to me. "May I?" He asked.

I smiled and nodded. "I hope Sirius didn't take my rebuke in the Hall too personally," I started a conversation.

"Well," Remus smiled, "he was rather surprised, but I dare say he needs experiences like this from time to time..."

"I'm glad you can see it that way, although I guess he wouldn't appreciate it as much."

Remus shrugged. "He can't take criticism, and there are few people willing to offer it – I myself am guilty of never telling him off when I should. So I maliciously enjoy someone else doing so."

We didn't get any further at that moment, because the teacher entered. He looked so old and frail I wondered whether he was going to last till the end of class. "What's his name?" I asked Remus.

"Peasegood," he whispered back, "and they say he's older than Dumbledore."

"Yes, he looks it," I agreed.

His mental ability, however, didn't seem to be impaired by the age, and at the end of the lesson, I exited the classroom with a pretty gloomy opinion of my Arithmancy skills.

"You do take Charms, right?" Remus asked and I nodded. "This way," he pointed and I followed him.

"How long did it take you to learn to find your way around this place?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, it gets better after the first month or so, trust me. And since you have only five classes, it will take even less time, since you need to know the way to fewer rooms."

"Four." I said.

"Sorry?"

"I take four classes. I managed to get out of History this morning."

"You should really thank Merlin for that. Binns is unbelievable."

"Well I did trust your word, so I hope I'm not missing anything."

"You aren't. Get a History book from the library and read instead of the History classes, you'll do much better," he paused. "What is it you're interested in the most? In history, I mean?"

"Well, I like wars. Reading about them, that is. Not as much the causes and the political background, but the actual stuff, you know..."

We were approaching the Charms classroom now, and the other three boys were waiting there for Remus. I sighed inwardly. He proved to be quite a nice fellow when his friends weren't around, but unfortunately, this pleasure lasted very shortly.

"Hey, Belinda!" called Sirius.

"Yes?" I turned to him, wary. I wouldn't put it past him to try and revenge himself on me for the morning episode. I must have hurt his ego.

"I wondered why you were so averse to my touch this morning. Are you lesbian, or just frigid?"

I stared at him. Was he for real? "Neither," I answered then, simply.

"Then prove it!" He was smirking.

I turned to him, slowly, the tip of my wand to my lip, pretending to be thinking. "Well," I said, "I could ask some of my old lovers to write to you and describe the experience, but I don't really think any of them would want to talk to such a wichser, so...no."

He smiled contemptuously. "Don't play all experienced, you're as old as we all are, not old enough to have had that many boyfriends."

A small, sardonic smile appeared on my lips, too. "Who said boyfriends? I was talking about lovers."

He looked at me in utter disbelief. Actually, the entire class looked at me in disbelief, since I hadn't bothered to lower my voice and they were listening..

"And you are not even ashamed to admit it?" asked James Potter finally, with so much disdain in his voice I immediately figured he must be a pure-blood. Only the best of families teach their children this.

I shot him a hard look. "And why EXACTLY should I be ashamed of it?"

"Some people would say that "whore" is a word that fully explains the point," said Sirius sarcastically.

I raised my eyebrow. "Is it? How very interesting. When I'm interested in your middle-class morals," I was a pure-blood too, I could do hidden insults as well as anyone else – and better than Black, apparently, since calling somebody a whore is rather far from being hidden. I wondered what his parentage was. "I'll let you know and you might give me a lecture on this exciting topic. And now, be please so kind and shut the fuck up." He did so, to my big pleasure. I sat alone in Charms, but I didn't really care.

First thing after lunch, we had Defense Against the Dark Arts, and it made me completely forget the incident from Charms. I sat in the back row again before the class, entertaining myself by trying to find a shadow sharp enough for me to enter the twilight. I could see why this kind of magic never gained popularity in Britain. With the weather, there was hardly anything to work with during the day.

I stopped when I heard the teacher enter, and I turned to him. Then, I was tempted to whistle. There stood a man who was, by posture, appearance and by the look in his eyes, the epitome of 'attractive' to me. He sat on his desk with a leisurely elegance, pierced us with his intense stare for a while, and then he started the class. "Welcome," he said, "to Defense. I'm Anthony Causens, and I will be your teacher. As I'm sure you all know, in these times, Defense is something we are all very likely to need, so paying close attention is in your own interest." His voice was deep and melodic, and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"We will be mostly doing curses and dueling this year," he continued. "For that, I'll need a volunteer."

Slowly and deliberately, I raised my hand. I didn't want to seem too eager, but I did want to be picked. "Yes," he said, "Miss..."

"Schwartz. Belinda Schwartz...sir."

"Very well. Come here to the front."

I did my best to get up elegantly and walk as seductively as I could without looking ridiculous.

"Now," he turned to the class, "we will be starting with practicing the things you should already know. Miss Schwartz, I'll attack you – nothing lethal, don't worry – and you just defend yourself in any way you know – any magical way, that is," he clarified, smirking. "I would like to keep my...private parts in good working order."

The classes laughed, but I was mirthless. "Perhaps you should choose someone else for this particular task," I said, dismayed.

He raised his eyebrow. "What, were you hoping for a chance to physically attack me? Don't worry, Miss Schwartz, if you feel you don't know enough. At least I'll be able to point out your mistakes to others," he smirked.

I sighed. What was I supposed to do? Yes, I had some dueling practice over the summer – and a bit even before, at home – but I was still much more confident in working with the twilight. I knew I could perform passably, but I wanted to impress him. But of course, the secrecy was my top priority. I sighed again. He attacked.

I ducked, shot an Expelliarmus at him, which be blocked easily, so I shot Protego against his next spell, whatever it was, and followed it immediately with a Petrificus Totalus, which he dodged, casting an excelsiosempra on me. It caught my leg, making me trip and fall forward, and up to the sky. Bastard, I thought. I couldn't very well Accio myself back, so I supported the spell with my own, flying to the ceiling and shooting a stupefy at him. He blocked it . Too soon...I realized what he was going. "Legilimency!" I accused him. "Is that allowed in this duel?" He just smirked and sent a non-verbal at me. As I blocked it, I wondered what it was about. Surely the students wouldn't learn anything if he used non-verbals...But since he sent another one my way, I figured he was serious about it. Oh well. I could play dirty too. He didn't need to know I was using twilight...I couldn't very well enter it, not with his eyes right on me, so I just reached in it, my wand pointed at him to distract him, and I played with the temperature around his body for a bit. He started to be hot...then hotter...then it was getting really uncomfortable...and he didn't know how to stop it. He Accioed me to him and as I landed swiftly on my feet, he turned his back to the class for a moment and whispered to me, barely audible: "Stop it and I'll call it even." Of course, I didn't have to, strictly speaking. But I had no interest in an open conflict. I could probably win if I used the twilight, but that would mean too many questions. So I stopped, and he shook my hand in front of the entire class. "Belinda, you really do have talents, do not waste it," he said. Not a blink gave away that he had no idea what he was dealing with. "Now for the rest of the class, pair up..." As they busied themselves, he turned to me. "That was a pretty strong one. I could have probably made you stop, but it would have taken me time, and I didn't want to keep them waiting." So he thought I was using some particular non-verbal. Good. "It seems you're the odd one out today," he continued. "Join whatever pair you wish to."

I went to Remus and Peter, mostly observing, since I didn't really believe my dueling with them could teach me anything much. I was livid with myself. 'The secrecy was my top priority,' I mocked myself. How could I do something that stupid? Of course, there probably wasn't a person in Hogwarts who could have recognized what I did, but still. One never knew. And if somebody did actually recognize what I was doing, it would have blown the entire cover the Order constructed for me so carefully. The chance was almost infinitely small, but it was there, and I took it, just because I wanted to impress a stupid teacher. I had to be careful around this Anthony Causens. I could never allow such a slip again. Men of his kind were one of my weaknesses – they made my vanity do many stupid things. But I should have been aware of the danger. I promised myself never to display my skills publically again.

The rest of the day passed quite quickly and peacefully, but once again, when I entered my dormitory, Lily Evans was waiting for me. This time, though, she was alone in the dormitory.

She didn't beat around the bush. "What you said at Charms...was it true?"

"Sure. Why would I lie?" I answered, throwing my bag on the bed and taking off the robes.

She smiled sympathetically. "I'm so sorry."

"What?" I whipped around, staring at her.

"I'm sure you must have been used by these men, you are only sixteen...I suppose that in Germany, the protection against such things isn't really good...maybe you didn't have much money..."

I blinked. Was she really implying what I thought she was implying? "You are joking, right?" This really had to be a dream…how could anyone say such a thing?

"No, I am not..." The sympatehtic smile was still there.

"OK, so just a few things." I struggled to stay more or less calm. Contrary to Sirius and James this morning, she meant well, so I didn't want to be downright rude. "No, I was not misused. I slept with them of my own free will. I don't want your pity. There might be people out there who need it, but not me. I am quite happy with my life as it is, thank you. Good night."

Really, who does this girl think she is?