A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter especially and didn't flame me too badly - LOL! I knew it wouldn't be too popular with the die-hard B & J crowd, but don't forget - I'm in the same choir! If you like Daphne, I think you'll like this one. Haven't got the boys together again yet, but it's coming, I promise, if you hang in there with me...
Monday Morning
Justin rubbed his eyes and stretched his hands above his head as the alarm buzzed next to him; blindly he reached his left arm over to tap the off button on top of the noisy machine before glancing over to confirm it was time to get up – eight o'clock. He stretched one more time to wake his body up before slowly sitting up to get his bearings.
From the sunlight peeking through his rather faded curtains, he could tell the day at least would be a sunny one. Knowing he would have a great deal to do today, he forced himself to rise from the bed with the intention of walking into his small bathroom to grab a quick shower; he stopped, however, at the sight of what was lying on top of his dresser. At that instant, the events that had occurred yesterday came flashing back him in sudden, startling clarity.
Lying on top of his beat-up dresser were the gold chain and wedding band that Nico had given him yesterday after Justin had agreed to marry him. He walked over to the dresser and stood there gaping at his newest possessions, still somewhat in disbelief over what he had done. Had he really told Nico he would marry him? Yes, he had – here was the proof of it. More importantly, though, why was he still questioning his decision?
He covered his face with his hands and sighed. Yesterday, when he and Nico had sat there together at the park and his friend had looked at him so tenderly while uttering those heartfelt, romantic words, he really did think he was doing the right thing. He really had felt that since they were best friends, they would somehow grow into being in love, at least HE would; Nico apparently to his shock already felt that way. Why hadn't he ever noticed before? And why was he second-guessing himself now in the stark daylight of the next day?
Removing his hands and focusing his gaze once again on the ring, he thought back to yesterday afternoon. After he had told Nico he would marry him, his friend's face had lit up with exuberant joy and he had quickly pulled Justin up into a sweeping embrace as he twirled him around like a small child being reunited with his lost puppy. They had shared a small, sweet kiss; nothing very passionate. It had been almost shy and awkward; the first time their lips had actually met in such a gesture. It hadn't been unpleasant; on the contrary, Nico had kissed him almost reverently, pulling back afterward with a look of awe on his face as he smiled back at him before taking the chain with the ring on it and looping it over his head as it rested on its new owner's chest.
They had spent the remainder of the time Nico had discussing very general plans for him to move here from Chicago and whether he should move in with Justin into his apartment. In the end, Nico had reluctantly decided that for now, at least until he could consolidate some of his sculpture assignments, he would have to make do with coming down to visit on the weekends as time permitted. When it became closer to the time when he could move here permanently, he and Justin would discuss in more detail what their living arrangements would be. Until then, they would be able to talk to each other on the phone and visit as his time allowed.
Justin wasn't sure why he was relieved with that arrangement, and also relieved that Nico, being an atypically old-fashioned sort of guy, wanted to actually wait until their wedding night to consummate their marriage. At the moment, he decided perhaps it was best that he not try to analyze the reasons why, because deep down he had a gnawing feeling that there was a really good explanation why.
He sighed as he reached to pick up the ring still hanging on the gold chain. It was a slender sort of band, befitting his smaller hand – he was amazed that Nico had figured out his ring size, since he couldn't for the life of him think of how he would have figured that out. But he had tried it on last night after Nico had left to go back to Chicago and found out it was a perfect fit. The ring wasn't very elaborate – rather, it was constructed of a simple gold style with a small, raised band running across the top and bottom. But it was classic and elegant in a simple sort of way, and actually suited him much more than any flamboyant one would have. It seems that his fiancé knew him quite well, but he shouldn't be surprised; after all, the man was his best friend before he was his fiancé.
Fiancé. He was having a damn hard time getting used to calling Nico that. He shook his head, wondering if he had made a terrible mistake saying yes. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his friend or ruin their friendship; he cared so much for Nico, and now he knew just how deeply his friend cared about him. Again, he questioned if he was doing the right thing, but he wondered if it was just because he had this old-fashioned, romantic notion of what true love really was – like some rush of adrenalin and a rapid beating of your heart just because someone was near, or a constant hunger to be with that person all the time. Kind of like he felt with…
No…..he was not going to even think about that man. He was a client, nothing else; a very important client that could make the difference between him succeeding with his business or not. Brian was using him as a means to an end, nothing more, nothing less. And it was high time that he accept that and be grateful for what – and who – he had.
Putting the ring and chain back down gently on top of the dresser, he turned then and headed into the shower to get ready to confront what would no doubt turn out to be a busy day.
Same Time – Brian's Loft
Brian stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped a thick, blood red towel around his waist; ever since his so-called fiancé had starting staying here, he was constantly freezing to death because Robert was always complaining he was hot. Even though he had repeatedly told the other man NOT to mess with the thermostat, the asshole frequently managed to wait until Brian was asleep and sneak out of bed to turn the thermostat down again. By the time he would arise in the morning to get ready for work, the entire loft would always feel like an icebox, especially when you walked around barefoot like he did on the hard, wooden floors. Today was no exception as he cursed inwardly and stomped over to the thermostat located near the front door and jabbed his finger on the controls to turn it up a couple of degrees. "See how that feels," he muttered to his still-sleeping fiancé.
Why the man kept insisting on staying here, even though Brian had made no pretense of his disdain over the idea, was beyond him; Robert had said something again about having to keep up a good front for the press and other voraciously-curious nose hounds until the wedding. He had seriously considered trying to sleep on the couch, instead, but knew if he did he would never get enough sleep, and he had an extremely important follow-up meeting this morning with his Art Department in connection with the Swanson Electronics campaign. Even though he had wound up sharing the same bed with the other man, though, he couldn't handle fucking him any longer. Not since a certain blond had entered his life.
Forcing himself to turn away from the object of his thoughts and desires, his face darkened as he remembered what had happened at his business last week. He had given up and washed his hands of the Swanson artwork on Friday in total disgust; after firing two of the underlings, he had told the graphic supervisor and creativity manager that they had better come up with something better by this morning, or they would be joining their cronies on the unemployment line as well. As he lathered up his face and prepared to shave, he hoped that somehow over the weekend his employees had gotten some sort of divine inspiration and had hopefully come up with a much more palatable campaign, for their sake as well as his. Only when he could secure a major account like this one could he ever hope to get rid of the arrogant albatross currently around his neck and still asleep in his king-sized bed.
"Brian?" As if right on cue, he groaned as he heard the "albatross" calling his name from the nearby bed.
He debated whether to just ignore him but he knew that wouldn't work – the man would badger him until he responded. "What?" he muttered back.
"Going into work?" the sleepy voice asked, sounding even closer now to Brian's disgust; he had hoped to get ready for work and get out of the loft before the other man even realized he was gone.
"What do you think, Robert? I DO have a business to run, you know."
Robert stood at the bathroom's entrance and sighed as he leaned against the door jamb. "Yes, I realize that Brian. I have a business to run, too. I was just wondering when would be a good time to meet with Taylor to find out what progress he has made on our wedding and the reception."
Brian worked feverishly to keep any expression from his face at the mention of Justin's name; while he managed to accomplish that quite well, he thought, he noticed there was no way to still his quickly-beating pulse or cool the flush that suddenly rushed through his body at the mere mention of the blond's name. While he would have much preferred to meet with Justin alone, he couldn't think of a logical way to tell Robert that and besides, he couldn't give up any chance that might allow him to see Justin again, alone or not. "When do you WANT to meet with him?" he said in an impressively even voice as he peered at Chagall's reflection in the mirror and continued his shaving.
"Well, we're running out of time now – the wedding's only a month away. I think we should meet with him some time today to make sure everything's on track. My schedule is more flexible than yours – when can you get away?"
Brian pondered that – his meeting with the Dumb and Dumber group was scheduled for 9:30; considering how much work needed to be done before the Swanson Electronics campaign would be anywhere near ready for its president to see it, he figured it would most likely take all morning. "How about 2:00? I should be done with my meeting by then," he finally suggested.
Robert nodded. "Okay – I'll call Taylor and tell him we want to meet with him at his shop then." He turned to go before adding, "And don't be late; I want you involved with the plans so you don't start complaining about what you weren't aware of later."
As the man turned to leave, Brian silently seethed over his ongoing, constrictive dilemma; he simply had to find a way out of this. Hopefully, his potential new client today would help him attain that goal.
9:00 – The It's Not the Same Shop
"Justin?" Daphne called out as she opened the door and the bell sounded overhead. A quick perusal of the front display area didn't reveal her friend anywhere around, but since the door was unlocked and the "open" sign was presently displayed, she knew he had to be somewhere.
"Daphne? I'm upstairs – I'll be right down." Justin rushed over to grab his shirt and shrug into it. Before he could button up his long-sleeved tee, he glanced over at the dresser and stopped, indecisive for a few seconds. Hesitating briefly before deciding he might as well get used to it, he walked over to the piece of furniture and retrieved the gold chain with the ring hanging on it and looped it over his head. He shivered for a second as the cold metal bumped against his chest before he proceeded to button up his shirt and take a moment to hurriedly brush his hair into some semblance of order before, confirming the ring was now completely hidden from view, he turned to hurry down the hallway toward the steps.
"Hey," Justin greeted his friend as he trotted down the steps and smiled; it was always good to see Daphne, even though he had the distinct impression that the last time he had seen her she had set him up with a certain sexy brunet. "To what do I owe the honor?" he asked, motioning for her to sit down on the couch. "Don't you have school today?"
She nodded as she joined him. "Yeah, but not for a couple of hours."
Justin nodded back at her. "Want some coffee? I have some made behind the counter."
"Nah, I already had some before I left my apartment this morning."
"Oh." A pregnant silence invaded the rather small space for a few seconds until Justin asked, "Any particular reason why you're here?"
He thought he noticed a sort of uncomfortable look appear on his friend's face before she inexplicably asked, "How's the wedding planning coming?"
"Wedding planning? Any certain one in particular?"
Daphne's face lit up conspiratorially and her eyes twinkled as she lightly slapped Justin's arm. "Come on, asshole, I think you know which one I'm referring to! Hello - The Chagall-Kinney affair? The one with the hot groom?"
Daphne saw Justin's face turn red; yeah, he knew which one she was referring to all right. "Well?"
"Well what?" he asked obtusely.
Daphne's eyes flashed with annoyance. "How did the trip to the yacht go the other night?"
Justin averted his eyes before Daphne had a chance to read his expression; just the thought of what had occurred the other day onboard Chagall's yacht still made his body flush with the too-close-encounter-of-a-hot-kind he had had with Brian. If he had stayed in that cabin for even one more minute, he harbored no doubts whatsoever that he and Brian would have wound up making good use of the rather spacious bed that was inside the suite.
Mentally berating himself immediately for the way just the mention of the man's name could make him feel – like some kind of giddy little faggot instead of a man that was determined to succeed with this extremely important account and someone who had just become engaged to another man to boot – he tried hard to convince himself it was time he started acting a little more mature on both accounts.
"Nothing happened," he finally insisted, turning to directly look his friend in the eyes once he could be sure he had his emotions under control. "He just showed me some areas on the ship where they could hold the wedding and the reception, that's all."
"Uh, huh," his friend replied, unconvinced. She had seen the intense, lustful looks the two had been sharing the other day; there was no way she had mistaken what she had seen. Both her friend and the other man, Kinney, were so attracted to each other, the heat was virtually pouring off them like waves of molten lava. "I don't believe that, Justin," she told her friend flatly. "I saw the two of you together. You were looking at him like a dog in heat."
"Daphne!" Justin cried in irritation, his eyes flashing at her statement that was hitting way too close to home. "The man is engaged! End of story!" He stood up abruptly and walked over to the large, display window to peer out onto the sidewalk outside, trying desperately to calm his roiling emotions. Damn Daphne for being too perceptive. He jumped a little as he felt her small, dainty hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Justin," she said softly in contrition behind him. "I shouldn't have pushed the two of you together the other day. I really didn't have to meet my mom and dad; I made that up.
Justin slowly turned to face her with a wistful smile on his face. "I figured that," he admitted. "Why did you DO that? You know the man's engaged to be married, Daphne."
She had the decency at least to look embarrassed as she tenderly brushed a small rebellious amount of hair away from Justin's eyes before replying, "I know. But Justin, I care about you, and I could tell you were attracted to him; and despite the fact that he's engaged, I could tell he's attracted to you, too. He's engaged, not married, you know. People break engagements and change their minds all the time."
Justin broke away gently from her stare and turned back to the window, lost in thought. "Maybe," he said softly. "But I can't participate in being the cause of that, Daphne, for a couple of reasons."
She frowned. "Why?"
Should he tell her the truth or not? Justin agonized; deciding finally that he needed someone to confide in; after all, the only other person he would normally talk to was for obvious reasons not appropriate. He eventually turned around and paused for a few seconds before slowly reaching inside his slightly unbuttoned shirt and retrieving the chain around his neck. "Partly because I need the business to stay afloat and partly because of this."
The young woman's eyes widened in shock. "Is that…..what I think it is?" she asked, looking into her friend's anguished eyes. She gasped as he slowly nodded back at her in confirmation. "I don't believe this! You're married? How?"
Justin shook his head. "Not married – engaged; to Nico."
"What‼" she replied, incredulous. "How? Why? When? Justin, shit!" She couldn't help continuing to stare at the gleaming, golden band hanging on the chain around her friend's neck as he peered back at her with an indecipherable look while she waited for him to explain. Being a long-time childhood friend of Justin's, she was familiar with Nico; she had met him several times throughout the past few years. While he seemed to be a good friend to Justin, and seemed decent enough, the two of them were engaged? "I don't understand," she finally huffed out, shaking her head.
Justin nodded, taking her arm. "Let's go sit back on the couch and I'll try to explain." Daphne followed him readily; eager to know what had possessed her friend to do this. The last time she had seen him, Justin had been completely enamored with Brian Kinney; now, less than a few days later, he was engaged to another man?
Justin placed his head in his hands and looked at the floor; to Daphne, for a man who was suddenly engaged somehow, her friend certainly didn't look too happy about it. After several seconds of silence, invaded only by an occasional sigh from her friend, she couldn't take it anymore. "Justin?" she asked quietly.
Finally, Justin raised his head and turned to look her in the eyes to explain. "Nico came down this weekend to visit. We just sort of goofed off the whole time around town until yesterday afternoon. We wound up at the park and while we were eating a hot dog, all of a sudden he starts giving me these strange looks and tries to avoid looking me in the eye. Then before I knew it, he was telling me that he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me."
"Shit!" she exclaimed in astonishment as Justin nodded. When she didn't say anything else, he continued with his explanation.
"Then just when I thought I had seen and heard all of what he wanted to say, he kneels down in front of me and pulls out this gold chain with a wedding ring on it and asks me to marry him."
Daphne stared at him with her mouth agape. "My God, Justin! I don't believe it!" A sudden thought occurred to her, however, as she asked, "But you have the ring! Justin, you said yes?" As her friend nodded in what looked to be resignation, she said, "Why? Why would you do that?"
Justin stood up and began to pace slightly in front of the couch, his body a picture of agitation. "I'm not sure," he groaned. "I….I don't know, Daphne! He was looking at me with those blue eyes full of hope and he sounded so sincere and so sweet."
He turned his back on her to stare at the front door of the shop but his eyes weren't really focused on anything in particular as he thought back to what had happened yesterday. His words tumbled out in a torrent of emotion as he said, "I…..I guess I thought of how great a friend Nico is, and how wonderful a person he is, and how much I DO care about him, and I thought maybe's that the way it's supposed to be. You're best friends first and then lovers second."
He turned in torment to his friend and commented, "Maybe I've been too idealistic all along about what love really is, Daphne. Maybe it's not roses and fireworks and a wildly-beating heart; maybe it's friendship and commitment and being supportive of each other. I could have that with Nico – I could be happy." But as he said it, he wasn't sure if he was trying to convince his friend or himself.
Daphne's heart broke at the plaintive sound of her friend's voice. She stood up and reached to lightly clasp the soft skin on Justin's cheek to say, "Maybe," she said, not quite convinced. "Maybe you could grow to love him as you say. But what if you don't? Is that fair to him OR to you? And what's wrong with having this star struck notion as to what true love is? What's to say you're wrong? Love can be different things to different people. You're so young, Justin; you have your whole life ahead of you. What's the rush?
She dropped her hand at her side and smiled at him tenderly. "You're adorable, you know that?" she said, at last evoking a slight smile from her friend as well. "And Nico is a really attractive guy. But if this Brian isn't the right guy for you – and I don't care what you say, I know you're still pulled toward him as he is for you – if Brian isn't the right guy, then someone else will eventually come along that WILL be. But don't compound your problems by agreeing to marry someone you really care for as a friend but may never grow to love as a husband. That's not fair to either you OR to Nico. If you really care about him as a friend the way I think you do, you'll be honest with him, the sooner the better."
Justin stared into Daphne's sympathetic, chocolate-brown eyes and sighed. Daphne was right; marrying Nico and hoping that their relationship would develop into something deeper wasn't fair to either of them. And no matter how painful it may be, the sooner he told his friend that, the better. He only hoped their friendship would somehow survive what would surely be an extremely unpleasant task on his part. He should have never agreed to marry Nico in the first place….
"You're right," he told his friend at last, swallowing the lump of pain in his throat. "I need to tell him it's not going to work. What was I thinking, Daphne?" he lamented, his voice full of guilt.
"Don't beat yourself up, Justin," Daphne told him firmly. "You didn't want to disappoint Nico by saying no, but you have to be upfront with him. It will undoubtedly hurt at first, but in the end he will be thankful that you didn't let the discussion wait any longer than you did."
Justin nodded, knowing Daphne was right. It wasn't something you could just say over the phone, though, and he certainly wasn't going to send him a "Dear John" type of e-mail; that would be tremendously callous as well as cruel. Nico had talked about coming back down this coming weekend; their frank, painful discussion would have to wait until then. "I'll talk to him when he comes down this weekend to visit again," he told her, relieved in a way that Daphne had made him see the truth.
Daphne nodded, glad he had not only confided in her but she had been able to make him see things more clearly. Glancing up over the shop's door, she noticed it was getting late. "I have to go," she said apologetically. "I have to get to class. Will you be okay?" she asked in concern, looking intently into the soft blue eyes.
Justin smiled slightly. "Yeah, I think so." He took a breath and exhaled it. "Thanks, Daphne. I really mean it. I don't know what I was thinking yesterday, but I WILL get it straightened out – for both mine and Nico's sake. I just hope he'll forgive me and we can still be friends."
Daphne twisted her mouth thoughtfully. "I'm sure he'll be pretty hurt at first, Justin, but I think in time he'll get over it if he's half the friend he seems to be." She began to walk toward the door but stopped as she recalled something else her friend has said. Turning around, she asked, "Justin? You said before that you couldn't be a part of breaking up Brian's engagement because you needed the business to stay afloat."
Justin nodded. "Yeah…it's been hard getting my business off the ground since I moved here; a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. If I could succeed in planning the right wedding and reception for them, the money they're paying me will more than help me make a profit."
She nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe. I mean, I know how much this means to you. But you ARE attracted to him, aren't you?" She stood there, making it obvious that she wasn't going anywhere until Justin told her the truth.
He sighed in defeat before answering softly, "Yes, I am. But Daphne, he's…."
She promptly interrupted him. "Yes, yes, I know, he's engaged. Well, I can't for the life of me fathom why he's engaged to another man, but I CAN tell you this, Justin Taylor; that man is attracted to you, and I don't think just as a one-time fuck. You are so talented – if this doesn't work out, I know someone else's business will come along soon. Just don't mess up what might be the best thing that ever happened to you! I repeat – he's not married yet! Give it a chance, Justin!"
Justin stared at his friend's eyes that were so full of fire and determination; how he wished it was that easy. "How can I know that, Daphne?"
"What – that you will obtain more business to take the place of this one?"
He shook his head. "No….how can I be sure that Brian really does care about me? What if he IS just intending on using me and I break up his engagement; what kind of person would that make me? I don't want to be the cause of breaking them up. I don't know them all that well – maybe they really ARE suited for each other." He couldn't believe that, though, even as it spilled from his lips; how could two such opposite ends of the spectrum really be meant for each other?
As if reading his mind, Daphne placed her hands on her hips and declared, "Bullshit. I don't know what hold that man has on him, but it's not love. It's something else. And it's your duty to find out."
Justin looked at her intently, his mouth open ready to protest. But somehow he couldn't; truth be told, he wanted to find out the reason why someone like Brian Kinney would marry someone like Robert Chagall, too. "Yes, Ma'am," he finally said wryly.
Daphne nodded before she smiled at him once more and, opening the door, finally left for class, satisfied that she had pounded some sense into her too-ethical-for-his-own-good friend. Perhaps at last Justin would have the courage and persistence to dig into Brian Kinney's psyche to find out just what made the man tick and what would possess him to agree to marry another man when he was so obviously fixated on someone else.
As she left the shop, Justin stood there in the quiet of the downstairs, wondering how in the world his life had suddenly gotten so complicated. Of course, he knew the answer to that; it was when Brian Kinney had entered his world and promptly turned it upside down. He let out another breath of tension, unsure now of what to do. While he had promised Daphne he would try and investigate, somehow, why Brian was really marrying Chagall, he really had no idea how to do that. And until he could, he would have to go on the assumption that the wedding and reception really was going to occur, which meant that he had a lot of work to do.
He jumped just as the landline phone rang; he used it strictly for business inquiries to separate the personal calls he received on his cell phone. Walking quickly over to his desk as the phone rang for the third time, he didn't have a chance to observe the caller ID before he rushed to pick up the receiver and say, "Justin Taylor, may I help you?"
His heart began to hammer furiously in his chest as he heard a familiar voice drawl, "I certainly hope so. I need your help."