One Hour Later
Justin's eyes struggled to open as he stretched his arms languorously above his head. He lay in bed, trying to force himself awake while a wonderful dream played in his head. He and Brian had spent all evening and all night in his bed, making love and fucking each other senseless until the early morning hours. Only after they had thoroughly mapped each other's pleasure points from head to toe did their bodies finally succumb to some much-needed rest.
His eyes flew open, however, as he felt the soreness in his ass and thighs and realized his remembrance hadn't been a wonderful dream at all, but a delicious reality. Brian had spent the night here last night, and they had fucked, sucked, licked, rimmed, and rammed each other until they couldn't stay awake anymore; he had the physical aftereffects to prove it. He smiled at the knowledge as he turned to look for Brian by his side and noticed to his disappointment that the bed was empty.
He reached for the indented pillow to inhale the familiar fragrance of Brian's expensive after-shave lotion for a few moments, luxuriating in the intriguing scent that reminded him of how he had spooned up next to him in the bed. He smiled broadly as he closed his eyes and once more relished in the memory of what had happened last night – what he had wanted to happen for so long. But where was Brian? He listened for any sounds of the brunet coming from his apartment, but all he could hear was the quiet ticking of the kitchen clock across the hall. Glancing at the alarm clock on the table next to him, he made note of the time: 8:30 a.m.
Of course – Brian must have had to go into work; he had mentioned yesterday that he had an important meeting with some electronics firm that could prove quite lucrative to Kinnetik if he was successful in wooing the client over to his agency. That must be the reason why Brian was gone, he figured, as he slowly sat up in bed and swung his legs around to touch the cold, hard floor. He winced slightly as his feet hit the surface and his body protested in stiffness; brushing some of the unkempt hair back from his eyes, he finally rose to his feet.
Walking slowly over to the dresser to pick out some clean clothes to wear, he frowned. Something was amiss; he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but something didn't seem quite right. His hairbrush was right where it normally was – on the corner of the dresser where he usually placed it down rather absentmindedly each morning after hurriedly running it through his hair so he could rush downstairs to his shop. His wallet, keys, and cell phone were still lying on top of the small, wooden vanity where they normally were, too. So why did something seem out of place?
As he went to pick his cell phone up, the reason hit him. He had been guiltily ignoring Nico's calls the past few days, waiting until the weekend to speak to him personally and tell him what a big mistake he had made in accepting his marriage proposal. He had not been comfortable wearing the ring and chain around his neck, but had been keeping it safe near his cell phone as a constant, albeit painful reminder that he needed to follow through on his intentions and tell his best friend the truth – that the two of them could never have the type of feelings that he felt for Brian.
Now, though, he noticed the ring and gold chain were missing; where could they have gone? Did he somehow knock them off the dresser? He leaned down to look around the corner and also underneath, but he only saw specks of dust and a penny lying forlornly on the floor. Frowning, he stood back up and shook his head in puzzlement, wondering what could have happened.
The sun glinting off a nearby object on the opposite side of the room caught his eye just then as he walked over toward the far wall and discovered the missing ring and chain lying twisted on the floor against the floorboard. He studied the ring he held in the palm of his hand as the chain dangled between his fingers and he shook his head. How did it get over here?
As he stood there peering back at the top of the dresser where the ring used to be, though, he noticed a small, crumpled, balled-up piece of notepad paper lying in the far corner where the dresser was lying against the intersecting wall. Reaching to pick it up, he opened the wrinkled page to smooth it out as much as possible before he began reading the message scrawled in a masculine script:
J – Had to go into work. Will be by later to see you. Last night was indescribable. B
Justin closed his eyes in anguish as an awful realization hit him. No…Suddenly, he knew why Brian wasn't there and especially why Nico's ring hadn't been lying in its accustomed place. Brian must have awakened this morning and spied the ring when he went to leave him a message.
"Oh, God, what have I done?" Justin whispered to himself in self-flagellation. His knuckles whitened over the hard metal of the ring and threatened to cut into his palm as he closed his fist tightly over it. Because he hadn't been upfront with either man at the very beginning, not only was he about to hurt his best friend, but he had also managed to hurt the man he cared deeply about as well. The irony of what he had done washed over him like a blanket of self-recrimination as he opened his palm and gazed at the object that had innocently caused so much harm.
How could he have been so stupid to even accept Nico's proposal in the first place? And how was he ever going to fix the harm he had caused? Would Brian – or Nico – even listen to him at all? His need to rectify the situation as soon as possible with both men warred with his emotions before, placing the unwanted object down on the dresser, he grabbed his cell phone, wallet, and keys and rushed toward the stairs.
Same Time – Kinnetik
Cynthia covered her ears to try and muffle the sounds of the snarling beast exploding inside Brian's office. He had stomped into the agency approximately an hour ago without so much of a grunt of a greeting – atypical crumpled suit, tousled hair and all – and had rushed inside his office, immediately slamming the door so hard, she half-expected the glass panels to promptly shatter in response. Once he had quickly changed clothes and plastered a hard, steely expression on his face, he directed her by intercom to summon a total of six employees in quick succession into his inner sanctum; he had also promptly fired each employee in short order and was now once more yelling at yet another art department associate who was no doubt about to be terminated employee number seven.
"What the hell is going on?" Ted asked Cynthia, dumbstruck, as the red-haired, freckled male art employee emerged ashen-faced from Brian's office and rubbed his hand across his eyes. As Ted watched him pass by, he thought the man looked like his best friend had just died. The man who had just been terminated was an up-and-coming, highly-talented new hire from a competing agency that Brian had taken particular delight in stealing. In fact, it was just the other day that he had been bragging to Ted about how the other agency's head had called and reprimanded him for what he considered poor sportsmanship in luring one of their most talented artists away from them. Now he had fired him?
The blonde shook her head and shrugged. "I have no clue," she said. "I know he's concerned about how the meeting with Swanson Electronics will go today, and I know he hasn't been happy with what the graphic and arts departments have been putting out, but this seems extreme, even for him," she confided as she heard something being slammed around inside Brian's office.
Ted jumped, startled, at the sound of a loud crash reverberating off the nearby walls. "Shit!" he muttered. "If whatever bee that crawled up his ass doesn't disappear soon, we're liable to not have any employees or office supplies left at all."
He just managed to sit down at his own desk before Brian burst through the office; his boss was dressed in his typical, immaculate attire now, but his eyes were dark with anger and the veins were popping out on his neck to immediately give his demeanor away, even though by now it was a moot point; you didn't have to be a mindreader to know that Brian was extremely disturbed over something. "Theodore," he said with barely-controlled civility. "I need all the presentation materials for Swanson Electronics in the conference room in fifteen minutes."
"But, Brian, the graphics department is still working on the….."
Brian glared at him as he placed both of his hands on Ted's desk and stared down at him with eyes the color of freshly-mined coal. "I'm going to say it one more time," he said with deadly calm; his face was inches away as he interrupted him. "If all the mockup materials are not in that room in the next fifteen minutes, everyone involved with it, including you, will be FIRED! Is that clear enough for you, Theodore?"
"Crystal," Ted replied as he swallowed hard and held his breath. Brian stared at him unblinking for a few seconds before he finally rose up and began to walk down the hallway toward the conference room, no doubt to wait for his orders to be carried out.
Ted let out the breath he had been holding with a whoosh of air. He glanced over at Cynthia, who stared back at him sympathetically. "You sure you have no clue what's going on?"
She shook her head. "No idea. But now that I think of it, if I was getting married to that pompous blowhard that he was engaged to, I'd probably be acting that way, also. It seems like the closer he gets to his wedding day, the worse he's becoming." She realized that she hadn't seen or heard from Chagall since yesterday; lately the man had been calling into Kinnetik on an almost hourly basis for something or other. So far, though, today had been blissfully absent of the man's blather. "Besides, you know how badly he's been wanting the Swanson Electronics account." She knew it would be a real coup in Brian's advertising cap if he could somehow turn their luck around with the company's CEO and obtain the account. She had no idea, though, of just how much was riding on his success.
Ted considered that as he picked up his phone to begin warning the graphics and art departments that they'd better haul ass if they wanted to keep their jobs, in addition to his own job. "Well, for all our sakes, I hope he gets it."
Brian sat in the silence of the room and leaned his elbows on the imposing, glass and chrome oval conference table. He cradled his head in his hands as he briefly closed his eyes. He kept trying to erase the memories of him and Justin last night - fucking, sucking, rimming, kissing, licking each other senseless until their bodies finally gave out from sheer exhaustion, but he couldn't. He also couldn't wipe out the unexpected feelings that had washed over him as he and Justin's bodies had united to become one and he had gazed into those expressive, sapphire-blue eyes while the blond was in the throes of passion. Justin's skin had been glazed with a light sheen of exertion and his body's pale complexion almost seemed to glow as he watched the slender blond shudder and tremble from his climax; at that moment, he thought he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life and the knowledge that he had caused that look had sent a thrill rushing through his own body just before he, too, had come with a shattering eruption, one more euphoric and intense than he had ever felt before.
He recalled that just before they both came, he had actually reached up to link their fingers together; it was such a small gesture, really, but not for him. Brian Kinney never displayed any sort of emotional attachment to a fuck; of course, he also knew deep inside his heart that Justin Taylor could never be considered "just a fuck," not in a million years. So how was it that he had finally found a man that he might actually be tempted to give a piece of his heart to, only to have it stomped on immediately afterward? He hadn't really realized just how much he was beginning to care about Justin until he had found that ring.
The image of what he had found on the nightstand quickly sprang to his mind and he tried hard to tamp it down, but it was useless. His previously unused heart recoiled at the thought of not only this man managing to capture it but also betray his gift. How could Justin manage to omit a minor little item to him such as the fact that he was married? And unless he was mistaken, it had to be that dark-haired little shit that had been practically hanging all over him at the Mexican restaurant about a week ago - Manuel? Paulo? Something Hispanic-sounding. Nico…..that was it; he must be the little hubby that Justin had conveniently forgotten to mention while he had been fucking the blond's brains out last night. Well, as the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me. Brian knew he would never make the same sort of mistake again as the doors to his heart firmly closed and he raised his head resolutely to open his laptop and pull up the Swanson Electronics account to prepare for his crucial meeting with the CEO.
No matter what had just happened between him and Justin, this account still meant everything to him; it meant the difference between his ass being out on the street penniless or finally becoming self-sufficient again. If he was somehow successful and Swanson decided to sign with him, he thought initially of how wonderful it would be to rush back over to Justin to tell him the good news and engage in a little one-on-one private celebrating with him, but he quashed that thought quickly; it just wasn't meant to be and he might as well just get used to it. Brian Kinney didn't need anyone else.
Justin hesitated briefly before he went to grasp the front door handle for Kinnetik; now that he was here, his pulse was racing and his palms were sweating profusely from nervousness. He had no idea exactly how he was going to approach Brian, but he knew he had to set things straight with him.
Taking a breath of courage, he grabbed the smooth, brushed pewter handle and pulled it downward to enter. Just like the last time he had visited, the inner confines of the agency were bursting with activity; he could hear the typical sounds of a busy office surrounding him: phones ringing, keyboards clacking, and voices of all timbres resonating throughout the sleek, modern cubicles. There was a vibrant, almost urgent sense surrounding him as he looked around somewhat awkwardly wondering what to do.
He didn't see Brian out in the main part of the office; he must no doubt be ensconced once more in his cave toward the back, he assumed, as he noticed his executive assistant sitting at her desk, speaking to someone on the phone. He was tempted to just try and walk unobtrusively past the attractive, elegant-looking blonde but he knew she would in all likelihood prevent him from entering Brian's office unannounced.
Letting out a whoosh of air to try and calm his frayed nerves, he rubbed his fingers in the palm of his hands before quietly approaching her; even though she was looking down at the glass top of her desk, she must have somehow detected his presence, because after a few seconds she glanced up to look at him. The flustered, tired expression she had on her face slowly dissolved into something more neutral as she gazed back at him politely with a more professional-looking mask. She was unable to disguise the weariness in her voice, however, as she admitted, "I didn't even hear you come in. May I help you?"
Justin nodded. "Yes, I need to speak with Mr. Kinney." Justin noticed a strange look come over the assistant's face, kind of like he had just asked for the keys to the White House.
"Trust me," Cynthia divulged. "Now is not a good time to see him. I can make an appointment for you if you'd like to come back at a better time." She added almost as an afterthought in a lower tone of voice, "Whenever that might be."
Justin sighed; he really needed to see Brian. This couldn't wait – he knew the longer it festered, the worse it would become and he also knew he owed the same courtesy to Brian that Brian had given him yesterday when he had finally come clean about the real reason why he had agreed to marry Chagall. "No, I'm sorry," he told her firmly, surprising even himself with his confidence. "I really need to see him; it's urgent. Could you tell him I'm here?" He wasn't so sure that was such a good idea, though; now that he had seen firsthand the way Brian could get fired up, he had a feeling the man wouldn't even be willing to see him. Well, that was too bad; he wasn't going anywhere until he did.
To his disappointment, however, Cynthia shook her head adamantly. "Sorry, uh…." She wracked her brain to try and remember who this man was; she knew she had seen him here before. After a couple of seconds, she recalled the reason why. "You're Brian's wedding planner, aren't you? I remember you were in here a few days ago to see him." She searched her brain for the name to go with the face before that bit of information fell into place. "Justin, right? Justin Taylor."
Justin nodded, still wincing inwardly at the title of wedding planner. He was extremely relieved that he would no longer have to perform that activity for Brian and Chagall, but in the same breath, he found the title rather humorous in an ironic sort of way – he couldn't plan his own wedding properly, much less anyone else's at the moment. "That's right," he said. "I really need to see him – please?"
She shook her head a little more sympathetically this time. "I'm sorry, Mr. Taylor." She lowered her voice to confide in him, "He's in a bitch of a mood today; believe me, it would be better if you came back later, even if it is about his wedding."
Justin digested that information. Brian obviously hadn't revealed to his co-workers that he no longer had any intention of marrying Chagall, and he could guess the reason why he was in such a foul mood – him. That was all the more reason why he had to talk to him and make him understand what was going on.
"Justin," he replied, encouraging her to use his first name instead. "Uh, Miss…?"
She smiled slightly. "Cynthia."
Justin nodded as he met her gaze evenly without flinching. "Cynthia, I can't really explain the reason why it's so important I see him right away, but I have to – even if it means waiting all day. Please – can't you call his office and let him know I'm here?" Silently, though, he had a feeling it wouldn't matter if she called Brian to announce his presence or not – he had a sinking feeling that might only make things worse; Brian could simply refuse to even see him. Well, no matter, he thought as he glanced over at the same couch he had sat on before; he had meant what he said – if he had to sit on that couch all day, he would do it.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Justin, even if I wanted to let him know I couldn't. He's scheduled for an extremely important conference with a major potential client in about an hour and he's about to meet with the graphic and art departments to go over the presentation materials. I wouldn't dare disturb him right now." She wasn't quite sure why she was telling a virtual stranger all this, but somehow this man made her feel like she could confide in him. From the first moment she seen him a few days ago, she could remember thinking what a much more suitable choice he would be for her boss rather than Chagall. What a shame he was merely here in his capacity as their wedding planner, rather than as something else.
To her surprise, though, Justin actually told her who Brian was scheduled to meet with. "You mean with Swanson Electronics?" he asked.
She stared at him in shock. "How did you know that?" Brian never divulged who new potential clients might be, fearing that somehow the competition would get wind of it and try and lure them away before he had a chance to lock in an agreement. Somehow, though, this man already knew about it.
Justin shrugged his shoulders, trying not to make it seem like such a big deal; apparently, though, from Cynthia's reaction, Brian didn't normally confide in others about his new client business. "He happened to mention it to me yesterday when he was at my shop." It wasn't exactly a lie, he reasoned, it just wasn't the entire truth. He wasn't about to let her know that Brian had actually brought over the miserable-looking ad campaign that his art and graphics departments had constructed and had asked him to redo it to make it more palatable. He wasn't there to gloat if somehow the campaign succeeded; he had something much more crucial – and important – at stake.
Cynthia nodded as she tried to keep her expression neutral, but inside she was astounded that Brian had mentioned something so confidential to the young man who had been hired to plan his wedding to Chagall; it was unheard of for Brian to reveal this type of information to anyone outside his "need to know" circle. Even she didn't really know exactly why Brian seemed so determined to win over this particular account, other than it would bring in a lot of profit for Kinnetik. Her boss was the most determined and persistent man she knew when it came to wooing over potential new clients – sometimes in rather "unorthodox" methods – but there was something different about the way he was pursuing the head of this account, almost as if his life depended on it. And there was also something different about the fact that he had told this young man about it as well. Perhaps, then, there was more to the relationship between him and this young, blond wedding planner than she thought….
"I wish I could help you, Justin," she told him sincerely. "But if he's told you about Swanson Electronics, then you probably realize why it's so important that I not disturb him," she replied. She stood up as she realized the time; the CEO of the firm would be arriving any minute, and she had been told in no uncertain terms to make sure he was made as comfortable as possible before Brian saw him. That meant making sure the guest waiting room was stocked to the hilt with any imaginable breakfast food and beverage the man might want.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to take care of something important," she said apologetically. "If you wouldn't mind showing yourself out, I'll let Brian know you came by…when he's in a better mood," she added, smiling slightly as she nodded and walked away toward the kitchen.
Justin sighed in frustration; he had to see Brian, even if took all day, but how could he justify just sitting on the couch all day? He thought briefly of taking advantage of Cynthia's temporary absence and just sneaking into Brian's inner sanctum until he returned there, but there was no way of knowing when he might do that, and it was possible he might not even go back to his office after his meeting at all.
That left him with one alternative. Looking around, he spied a young woman about the same age sitting at a desk nearby, keying information into her desktop. Walking over to her and pasting on his most engaging smile, he said, "Excuse me….I'm new here – from the art department – and I'm supposed to be in a pre-planning meeting with Mr. Kinney for Swanson Electronics. Could you tell me where the conference room is?" he asked, looking sheepishly at her as batted his baby blues and continued to smile.
The young, green-eyed blonde took one look at the beautiful creature standing in front of her desk smiling at her and she practically melted in response. She found herself stuttering somewhat shyly as she pointed to her right and managed to say, "Uh….it's down that way, third door on the left, big double frosted glass doors – can't miss it, uh….?"
"Justin," he said quickly as he began to walk quickly away from her. "Thanks for the information!" he managed to call out before he rushed away, wanting to escape before Cynthia returned and discovered what he was doing. His heart began to pound in nervousness and anticipation as he approached the two doors the woman had indicated and stopped to try and control his breathing. Now that he was just on the other side of the door where Brian was, he found himself almost frozen to the spot and unable to move. How would Brian react to him being there? Would he even give him a chance to explain about the ring, or would he even refuse to acknowledge him? Well, there was only one way to find out, he decided; taking a deep breath, he brushed the sweat away that had suddenly formed on his palms against his pant legs as he turned the left door's knob downward and pulled it open.
He found to his disappointment that Brian wasn't alone; he currently was standing with his back to him, studying a foam board display that was propped up on an easel at the back of the room while approximately a half-dozen other employees mingled around the space; Justin couldn't help noticing immediately that the artwork on the foam board was his; at least, it was the same drawing he had rather crudely made at his shop yesterday, but someone had obviously cleaned it up to make it look more polished and professional. Still, he didn't have any problems identifying the globe with the slogan underneath, Power at Your Fingertips, the same slogan he had spontaneously thought of while he and Brian had been alone yesterday, before Chagall had shown up, before he and Brian had had their talk, before they had fallen into bed together…..he shook his head slightly in exasperation in an attempt to clear his mind. Now was not the time to dwell on what had happened – he had to focus on the present so he could explain what had happened and hopefully rectify his mistake.
He felt several eyes on him as he stared over at Brian's profile, waiting nervously for him to turn around and notice him. A dark-haired man who appeared to be around Brian's age looked over at him curiously and said politely, "Uh…..can I help you with something?" Ted knew all the employees at Kinnetik well by now – being in charge of everyone's paycheck made him fairly popular, especially around payday – and he was sure he had never seen this blond-haired man before.
Justin was unsure what to say until he finally observed Brian turn around to find out who the man had been addressing; he was no doubt expecting the CEO of Swanson Electronics to walk in any minute. As soon as recognized who it was, however, Brian's eyes darkened to an almost impossible shade of black and his brows narrowed in fury. He held his body in a rigid stance as he snarled, "What the hell are you doing here?"
Justin swallowed the lump in his throat; when he had envisioned encountering Brian at Kinnetik, this was not what he had had in mind. He had wanted desperately to speak with him alone, to explain, but that was obviously going to be impossible for now. He wasn't about to air their dirty laundry in front of Brian's employees. "I need to talk to you," he whispered, staring into Brian's darkened eyes; he was caught between wanting to avert his gaze from the pointed, angry stare being projected across the room at him and being unable to tear his eyes away from the man he had spent last night in bed with – the man who had made his body soar to unheralded heights of physical pleasure and had thrown his emotions into a glorious combination of ecstasy and euphoria with his sometimes tender, sometimes almost violent passion. He had no intention of throwing all that away, and he hoped that somehow Brian felt the same way.
Brian stood there, gazing into the eyes of the man he had been fervently trying to forget for the past few hours; as he looked into the soft, blue eyes staring back at him pleadingly, however, he knew how unrealistic that hope had been. He had only been fooling himself into thinking his heart hadn't been forever changed by this man, but his pride wouldn't allow entry into that now-cold and unfeeling place again. It had been trampled on by Justin's deception and he just couldn't risk opening it back up again and experiencing the pain he had felt – a pain he had never even knew he was capable of feeling until this young, blond, passionate and creative man had inexplicably entered his life. As the other employees stared at the two men with inordinate curiosity, the mask of feigned indifference and anger slipped back over his visage as he snapped, "I don't have anything more to say to you, and I'm in the middle of an important meeting. I no longer need your services, Mr. Taylor, so you can get the fuck out."
Justin's face flushed a deep shade of pink at all the attention their conversation was receiving from the other occupants of the room; every pair of eyes was currently fastened on his face as he managed to counter, "But, Brian, I need to explain…."
"I said get the fuck out!" he shouted as his eyes flashed and his face contorted in fury. "You have five seconds to leave before I call my assistant and have you thrown out!" He reached over to roughly grab the landline business phone and pick the receiver up. "Which is it going to be, Taylor?" he demanded. "You have three seconds now!" He held the receiver out toward Justin as he waited for a response; not another sound could be heard in the room as the others waited uncomfortably trapped in the middle of a heated discussion. All of them had no doubt after their boss's previous tirade earlier today that he fully intended to carry out his threat against this slender, blond-haired stranger looking back at him with tears in his eyes. It certainly wasn't the first time they had seen one of Brian's employees reduced to tears by the brunet's treatment of them when he thought they had performed either half-heartedly or incompetently, but somehow this seemed to be more of a personal nature. No one, though, had the courage to voice that opinion aloud.
Justin closed his eyes in frustration; this was not the way he had hoped to meet with Brian; it was obvious, though, that Brian was more than just annoyed or even angry with him over finding the ring. He was deeply hurt as well as furious, and it just made his own heart ache even more over the realization that he had been the cause of it. "Brian…" he whispered one more time in anguish, but the other man just stood there, his body stiff and unyielding, not displaying any other outward signs of compromise.
The door suddenly opened behind him as Justin jumped in startled reaction. It was Cynthia, Brian's assistant, with two men he didn't know. "Brian….," she began, intending to introduce him to the CEO and Vice President of Swanson Electronics, who were following directly behind her. She stopped, however, as she instantly recognized Justin Taylor standing there in the room; his eyes were awash with a glistening of unshed tears and he was clearly upset. "Justin," she said with surprise. "What are you doing in here?" she asked softly. When she had returned from the kitchen and hadn't seen him, she had assumed he had given up on his goal of meeting with Brian and had left; clearly, though, he had been more persistent than she had thought.
"I was just leaving," Justin whispered painfully, as he stole one more glance at Brian, who slowly reached over to replace the phone's receiver and turned to stare back at him with an empty, stony expression on his face. He uttered a small, painful breath before he finally turned around and slowly walked out the doors; he could still feel everyone's stares on him as he closed the door and stood there momentarily overcome with defeat.
He could overhear Cynthia introducing the two men to Brian and his other employees as he closed his eyes briefly in torment over his unsuccessful bid to speak with Brian and began to walk down the hallway toward the exit doors. He knew he wasn't going to make any headway with the man for now, but he wasn't giving up; now that he knew what his heart wanted, he had to keep trying until he made Brian understand. He paused to look once more at Brian's bustling office workers going about their own business duties before, with a sigh, he slowly opened the door and left.