Just want to say I don't own anything Twilight related! I do own some of the Characters but I'm sure they will be easy to spot lol

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Fresh start:

Months had passed, the pain ebbing slightly leaving way for the hurt. I did love Alex but like my dad says sometimes love just isn't enough. My mum had sorted out my finances and I was now debt free to an extent. I still paid half the mortgage on the house Alex was "saving up" to buy me out of my half of the cottage – like that would ever happen. I failed my semester so I decided I would take a break and go back in a year after saving up some money. I had a job at a local business sorting out their invoices and orders it meant getting up early but it also meant I was finished by lunch time.

My brothers Sam and Jason were helping mum on a project and were sat at the kitchen table attempting to get me to help and darn it they were doing a good job.

"Common Bells get out do something different you know you will like it!" Jason's face was scrunched up into a smile; it was infectious to say the least.

"Yea and we well we need your organisation skills if we are honest, mum said we had to be done in a month and were running so late its gonna take us forever" Sam was younger than Me and Jason and he had over the years perfected the wine of the younger sibling it grated so much you would do anything just to shut him up.

"Oh and here I was thinking you wanted to spend some quality time with lil ol me, guess I was wrong" I flung my self into the kitchen chair and flopped my hand over my forehead in mock distress, getting a few sniggers out of them both.

We sat in silence after this and after what seemed to be an age I finally cracked. "Ok fine what's the project?"

"Yessss" they shouted and high fived each other before turning to me and grabbing me around the waist leading me out of the house. I had just enough time to grab my purse and keys before I was down the garden path. They said nothing the entire car journey despite my pleading, whining and well shrieking. They finally pulled up in front of this old mansion just on the out skirts of town. I had never known it was here, it was hidden by the dense forest that unless you knew it was there you would never located the thing.

"Wow" was all I could say as I say as I stumbled out of the car. I turned to my brothers now and asked them what exactly were we doing here and praying it was nothing illegal.

"The owners of the house are letting the town council use it for a tourist attraction for the next few months before they move back and mum recruited us to move all the owners belongings to one end of the house so they can get the authentic furniture in and set up" Jason was appraising the house as he spoke and I knew now that it wasn't his lack of will power that had stopped them from getting this place sorted but more like he just couldn't say no to Sam ever.

"Right then" I huffed "come on then boy's lets get started, we will all each pick a floor and put the things that need to be moved into the hallways for another time. Got it?" I looked pointedly at each of them making my words heard no messing around. I choice the 3rd floor, and walked up the vast amount of stairs, ipod in hand armed with bin bags and boxes, whilst having the strangest feeling of dejavu.

The hours had ticked by with thanks to my many play lists and I hadn't heard a peep out of my darling brothers with exception to a few grunts here and there when they were moving boxes around. I had almost finished so I decided to start taking some of the lighter boxes into the attic. The rounded stairs were steep and before long I was greeted with a large solid oak door, I managed to open it with one hand whilst the other balanced the box steadily. As I walked in I realised that I couldn't for the life of me find the light switch, it was so dimly lit – its only source of light was that peeking through the edges of a dirty bay window.

It was then that I tripped over what felt like a large wooden box, it sent me flying and I landed in a heap on the floor with my boxes contents spilt on the floor.

"Oh for crying out loud" I moaned to my self feeling slightly petulant that my brothers hadn't come to see if I was ok. I began to put the things back in the box when I saw the string that led to what appeared to be a light bulb, I got up and dusted my self down and marched over to the string and yanked harder than I should have, the light turned on but the string came off in my hand, I mentally shouted at my self for being so heavy handed.

I turned around ready to stomp back to the half full box when my eyes landed on the perpetrator of my fall. Curious as I am, I went over to take a closer look at it. The box it self was dark and had intricate spirals and patterns carved into the sides. There was no lock but the catch looked like wrought iron. My hand paused over the catch, should I look or would I be invading someone's space? My curiosity warred with my consciousness. One half said no this is wrong just go back down stairs and behave, the other half was saying hey they already let you in the house to pack up their personal belongings what is a quick peek going to do?. I'm ashamed to admit that my curiosity won and I flipped the catch quickly and flung the top open as gracefully as I could manage, only hearing a small thud as it hit its back.

The light was not perfect but it was better than before and I could make out that the box contained books, ones that a person would keep as a journal maybe and some letters on the top. Without thinking I picked up the top letter and began to read…

The letter was dated a hundred years ago and it read

My love,

Every day passes and I find that I can not stop thinking about you, your face haunts me every where I go and I wish so very hard that I can be with you again. I walked down to the river today – the one where we used to go...before… I just sat for hours wanting - no needing to feel close to you again but all I felt was the piercing sorrow of my loss.

Esme says that it is natural for a person to mourn like this when they lose a loved one but I doubt even she fully understood my feelings for you. Every dawn brings with it the realisation that it is another day where I will not hear your voice, feel the warmth in your fingers as you brush them against my cheek, another agonising day where I will not witness the cherry blossom blush that inhabits your fair skin when you realise that I have been looking at you.

I am sorry my love, so sorry for so many things but largely for the fact that I was too late to save you and every day for the rest of eternity I will regret that decision. My very existence seizes to make sense without your presence.

Eternally yours

Edward

I hadn't realised I had begun to cry until I felt the salty liquid touch my parted lips. I had thought that it was a love letter that had been received but as I read I realised that it was a love letter that would never be seen by the intended person. Without thinking I reached into the box and pulled out more, there were no dates on these now but the pain was still evident

My love,

I can not go on.

I refuse to be a part of a world where there is no you it seems cruel and unjust. Maybe that is my punishment for being weak and endangering your life I do not know. What I do know is that the love that I have for you transcends this level of existence and will forever be apart of the universe no matter where we are it will still exist somewhere on some level and its with this knowledge that makes it bearable almost.

My family have also stopped living; your absence has affected us all. Alice no longer dances around the house she simply sits staring out of the window, Jaspers tries to cheer her up but I am afraid even this emotional climate is proving too much for him to bear. Esme no longer smiles she sighs every time she walks past the piano longing me to play again but I will not my love that is sacred to your memory now nothing will make me play again that I promise you.

Emmett no longer plays around, he spends his time following Rose around not wanting to leave her for a second, she is grateful of this. She regrets still her last exchange with you; I have forgiven her and said that you are a kind and loving person you would also have forgiven her if you were able to.

But my love the worst transformation bar my own is Carlisle. He goes to work and returns in the evenings and spends his nights in his study thinking always thinking. Not even Esme can get him to come out.

My dearest if you could only see the lasting affect you have on my self and my family you would not have ever doubted neither your place here nor the enduring and undying love that I have for you.

Forever indebted to your love

Edward

The rest of the letters sounded the same. My heart broke for this man his love was so intense and he lost his love his reason for being and he seemed unable to mend. The last letter is what finally made me break down causing me to run from the house.

My love,

I am unworthy of your love, of that I am sure. I am going to do something that I promised you I would not. We are leaving; my family can not function in this place any longer so they have decided to move. At first I was adamant I was going to stay but they would not leave without me.

You know I love you from the deepest depths of my very existence but my family need me and I know your kind and ever caring nature would understand this betrayal but I can not.

I swear to you I will never forget you nor will your memories in others minds fade I will remind them of the joy you brought to this family, the light that seemed to fill every one of us when we were in your presence.

All I ask is that your forgive me for my mistakes, if I had another chance I would choose a different path – one where we would still be together forever.

My heart aches for your scent, touch and the musical notes that is your voice. I will know that I am in heaven when I witness these things again. Until then look after my heart I've left it with you.

Utterly and completely forever yours

My love

My soul mate

My everything

Edward xxx