"Do I have to go cut the bitch?" is the first thing Mercedes says to Kurt when he arrives at her apartment, every bit the loyal best friend she's always been to him. Kurt merely shakes his head, not really sure he could even give her a coherent answer without bursting into tears.
Mercedes hugs him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before letting him inside, taking his bag and leaving it on the guest room bed. "So you have two choices," she begins. "One, we can get some wine, get drunk and talk about it, or we can watch chick flicks and eat ice cream by the gallon."
"Can I take a shower first?" Kurt asks as he removes his shoes, placing them delicately next to the bed. Depression was no reason not to take care of his clothes. "I feel gross. I need warm water and quality time with my hair before I can even begin to think about consuming alcohol."
Wordlessly, Mercedes motions toward the bathroom door. Kurt shoots her a smile before grabbing his toiletries and clothes to change into. If he's being honest with himself, Kurt just wants some time alone before he has to go through the whole fight and analyze every detail, because he knows what's coming. He knows Mercedes will only confirm what he's thinking.
He isn't sure what exactly he can pin the fight on; Blaine's comment was completely unnecessary, but rationally speaking, it wasn't proportional to Kurt's reaction. Kurt can only conclude that it's a pileup of several different issues that had been in the back of his mind for a while.
Was it a fight massive enough to validate Kurt storming out with a few last words vaguely indicating they might break up? No. Kurt knows that. He's very much aware of this, in fact. Why would one of Blaine's comments get to Kurt so? The issue isn't what Blaine said, really.
What the issue is, Kurt thinks, is Blaine's complete lack of flaws. Of course he has flaws and Kurt is aware of it, but he has this annoying tendency to just hide them from view – for the first six months of their relationship, Kurt was one hundred percent sure that Blaine was, in fact, perfect.
He sees he isn't – that much is obvious. But even with all his flaws, Blaine strives for perfection; snide comments are a rare occurrence coming from him, yet a daily thing with Kurt. Kurt was sarcastic and dry; Blaine was warm and charming. While Blaine's endeavors to achieve that level of perfection are a trait that makes him the person he is, Kurt sometimes wishes he weren't so damn good.
As he gets out of the shower, Kurt attempts to salvage his nightly skin routine with the things that he has on him right now, mainly his emergency kit. With some help from the things that he keeps at Mercedes', he manages to do a decent job of it even if he had to sacrifice and miss some essential steps.
He heads to Mercedes' room once he's done getting dressed, but not before swinging by the kitchen and grabbing a wine bottle and two glasses. Looking at the bottle, Kurt promises himself he won't go overboard – alcohol is a lot of empty calories and it does nothing for his complexion.
"Hi, boo," Mercedes says, patting the space on the bed next to her. "How are you feeling?"
"A little better," Kurt answers as he pours the wine in their glasses. "I don't think it's fully sunk in yet. I'm not even sure what exactly happened, but we might have broken up."
Mercedes' face is priceless – Kurt is tempted to just take a picture of it. "You two? Break up?" she asks, looking at him incredulously. Kurt just gives a small shrug of the shoulders. "But what exactly happened? What was the problem?"
"He's too perfect," Kurt answers curtly.
She rolls her eyes at him. "I'm not seeing the problem here," she retorts quickly. "You have this gorgeous boy who loves you, who is willing to take you to California with him just because you want to go shopping on Rodeo, and yet he's too perfect?"
"But that's the thing!" Kurt exclaims. He struggles to explain what the issue is with Blaine's apparent perfection but he knows he better try or his best friend will not let him forget. "I'm not perfect. I have flaws. And being with Blaine only makes them seem more notorious."
Mercedes shakes her head. "Everyone has flaws, boo. Even Mr. Perfection does. We're all human, but you're nothing short of extraordinary," she says, squeezing his knee for extra emphasis on what she's saying. He rolls his eyes at her, not taking a word of what she says seriously.
"The important thing here is that you remember how you feel about him and how he feels about you," she continues. "If he loves you and you love him, then everything else can be worked through."
Kurt gives her a small smile. "Why are you so wise?"
Mercedes flashes him a smile and just shrugs.
An hour later, they're drunk. Hopelessly, completely and absolutely drunk. Kurt's usually the last person to ever get drunk – the whole episode with Miss Pillsbury and April Rhodes back in sophomore year was enough to traumatize him, at least while he got through college.
Now, however, Kurt isn't so opposed to drinking. Oh, sure, he won't do it all that often, but he does enjoy a glass of wine here and there – and he definitely enjoys a good apple martini. But this level of drunk is something that only ever happens when he's with Mercedes. Only the two of them would get drunk off cheap wine.
They spend most of the night laughing hysterically at everything the other says. "When's your birthday?" Mercedes asks, and Kurt attempts desperately to pronounce the word February correctly, but he cannot get it right.
That's the state they're in when Kurt's phone goes off, and Mercedes jumps immediately, picking it up from where it lay forgotten in the dresser. "It's lover boy!" she exclaims before erupting in a fit of giggles.
While Kurt sobers up a little bit, it's not enough to make him recognize answering the phone when he's drunk and in the middle of a fight with Blaine is not necessarily a good idea. "Hi, Blaine!" he says and giggles, not really waiting for an answer before he launches off on a rant about how great he is and how dark the night looks.
"Are you drunk?" Blaine asks as soon as he has the chance to get a word in.
Kurt nods, waiting for Blaine's answer when he realizes that they're on the phone and Blaine can't see him. "Oopsie!"
"I just wanted to tell you I'll be out all day tomorrow, if you want to come get some things. I promise I'll be gone," Blaine says, his voice sounding vulnerable, but it's something Kurt barely picks up on as he is currently preoccupied with looking in the mirror, ruffling his hair and then fixing it again.
"Okie dokie!" Kurt giggles before dropping the phone by accident – the device falls to the floor and the battery comes out, effectively ending their conversation.
They pass out some time between watching Rocky Horror Picture Show on TV and attempting to feed each other almonds by throwing them into the other's mouth. Kurt feels happy and liberated and carefree, and while deep down he realizes he won't feel so good tomorrow, he decides to simply enjoy it for now.
The first time Kurt goes by their (Blaine's?) apartment to pick up some of his things, Blaine isn't home, as promised. Kurt can't possibly imagine where he'd be at nine a.m. on a Wednesday, but he's not complaining – it gives him time to decide what he needs without worrying about Blaine coming home.
As he packs his clothes, Kurt keeps feeling like he shouldn't be taking so much. Who's to say they're really over? Life without Blaine is extremely lonely; it keeps getting worse, and it's been less than two days since their fight. He thinks of all of this as he packs, and he ends up only taking enough clothes for three days. Maybe it's just wishful thinking.
The second time Kurt goes, because he forgot his Steve Madden boots, he isn't as lucky as before. Or is he lucky this time around? He can't be sure. On one hand, their fight was really stupid and petty. Kurt wants to get it all over with. But on the other hand, part of him wants to figure out why the fight escalated so quickly, why they said the things they said – it can't be just a petty fight if they were so hurtful.
He walks into the apartment quietly, not really sure why he's tiptoeing around but doing it anyway. Blaine hears him anyway, because he comes out from their bedroom when he does. He looks terrible; his eyes are red, bloodshot and he has huge bags under his eyes. Kurt doesn't understand how it's even possible for him to look so tired when their fight was only two days ago.
"You look terrible," Kurt comments quietly, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. That was an awful thing to say to his (ex?) boyfriend who he's currently in a fight with, but the remark escapes him before he's even aware of it.
"Gee, thanks."
In his defense, Blaine really does look terrible. He looks defeated, sort of hopeless, and it's even more heart breaking to Kurt than the fight itself. "I'm so—" he starts, but Blaine interrupts him.
"Did you know last night was the first time we spent the night apart after a fight?" Blaine says brokenly.
"Because it was. And you know what else? I can't sleep when you're not with me, much less when you're mad at me. Although you have every right to be mad, I don't blame you at all – I just feel so horrible right now because what I said was completely out of place and fuck it, I'm ranting now, but Kurt, I really don't want to
break up."
Kurt shakes his head, not sure how to answer. He loves Blaine, he really does, but there's a part of him that's questioning their relationship and how they feel about each other and he really doesn't even know why, because if there's one thing he knows, it's that he wants to be with Blaine.
"I… I love you," Kurt begins softly, holding up a hand when Blaine opens his mouth to answer. "I want to be with you. I do. But the thing is, you're perfect. And before you even try to deny it, hear me out, okay? You're too perfect. For two years we've been dating and in love and this whole time, you've been amazing. But – but then that whole fight happened and it made me realize you're not as perfect as I've always found you to be.
What I'm trying to say that while your comment did hurt, I was overreacting because I'm a drama queen and tend to take everything too personally. The fight wouldn't even have been that bad had it not been for my seeing you as imperfect. As a human being. God, Blaine, I love you. I want to be with you. I don't want to break up over something as petty as this."
He barely has time to finish speaking before Blaine's arms wrap around his waist tightly. Kurt doesn't say anything – he just leans his head on Blaine's shoulder, focusing on breathing in and out. "You have no idea how relieved I am," Kurt hears Blaine say softly. "I thought I lost you – and, and over a stupid comment like the one I made. I'm so sorry, Kurt. I hope you can honestly forgive me."
Surprising Blaine (and himself, a little bit), Kurt smacks his arm and glares at Blaine. "Stop beating yourself up over this, okay?" he says. "The fight was just as much my fault, because if I'm being honest with myself, it would've happened eventually no matter what. I'm just glad it's over now."
"Fine, you win," Blaine says and kisses his cheek, linking their fingers together as he pulls Kurt closer to him, his free hand going to rest on the small of Kurt's back. Kurt shivers involuntarily, leaning down slightly to press his forehead against Blaine's. A sigh escaped his lips as he smiles, feeling extremely happy to be back and not fighting anymore; even if the fight was for a stupid reason and lasted less than two days.
"I love you," Blaine whispers, his face mirroring Kurt's expression of bliss. "I haven't been that depressed in a long time. All I did was listen to A House Is Not a Home or play Frank Sinatra. Every time I turned the volume up, I expected you to come out of nowhere and tell me to turn it down."
Kurt laughs happily. "Mercedes and I got drunk, threw almonds at each other and watched movies," he says. "I can't say I had a bad time at her flat."
"You two never have a bad time," Blaine points out and just for saying something like that, Kurt has to kiss him.
As they finish dinner later that night, after having gone to Mercedes' apartment to pick up Kurt's things, they sit down together on the couch, wanting to do nothing more but watch a movie and cuddle, stealing a few kisses here and there before they head to bed for a peaceful slumber.
So wanna know a funny story? I'm also posting this story over at the kurt_blaine community on lj and well, I posted chapter five there a few days ago. Then I thought to myself, okay, must post chapter five to , blah blah blah. Today, I get on to post chapter five and I realize I never posted chapter four in the first place! My apologies. That story was probably not nearly as funny as you thought it would be.