Leave the light on

Chapter two:

Callie sat in the backseat of Owens rather expensive car her head against the cool glass of the tinted window. She could distantly hear Christina chatting to Owen and the red haired man laughing in response but had no idea of the joke. Her downcast eyes looked through the rain falling against the glass from the grey heavens and instead were focused on the white lines that were drawn down the middle of the bitumen highway. They disappeared behind her in a flash but another always followed and she could barely see the gaps, leaving her feeling lightheaded and dizzy but she staunchly refusing to look away. The speed of the car took them faster and faster to the one place Callie did not want to go. She had been dreading it for the past week; actually for the past month ever since she found out her best friend was leaving. Leaving Seattle, leaving the hospital and leaving her.

Her eyes welled and she blinked furiously desperate not to let them mirror the actions of the drops of rain running down the window pane in front of her eyes. Her throat constricted and her heart stung, she was losing the one person who was still hers. And it hurt. She was suddenly startled out of her reverie when Christina's question punctured her far away thoughts sending her reeling back to reality,

"Are you coming Cal" Christina knew that Callie was upset, she also knew that Callie knew how to put on a flawless act and apart from herself and Owen she was pretty sure that Callie had managed to convince everyone that she was more than happy for the golden couple that was Mark and Lexie. When Christina and Callie had returned from Mark and Lexie's going away party a few nights ago Christina had softly told her friend that she had missed her calling in life as an actress. It was the first time that someone had stated bluntly how Callie was feeling and Owen, who had very gentlemanly escorted the two women home, couldn't move fast enough to catch the newest attending before she hit the ground in a crying mess as her resolve shattered. She wondered if Mark could see it, see how much his departure was upsetting her.

Callie sighed, her warm breath fogging up the inside of the car window. A fist knocking on it startled her for a second time and she looked up to glare at Owen before he gave her a gentle smile and opened the door. He stuck his hand out and she sighed again before taking it and letting him pull her out of the car. Christina slammed the door shut and the three of them made their way into the chaotic building filled with curious tourists, friends and family joyfully reuniting and tearfully parting. Most of Mark's and Lexie's closest friends at work had turned up and when they first rounded the corner to gate 16 Callie's eyes had no trouble finding Mark who was currently embracing Derek in a brotherly hug and they were speaking seriously but with large smiles stretched across their faces.

Who was I before I met you?

It was only then that Callie realised that she hadn't yet let go of Owens hand instead she had it clutched tightly in hers. She flushed pink before giving it a squeeze and releasing it from her tight grip and throwing him and apologetic smile which he shook his head to dismissing it. He moved to Chris and threw his arm around her shoulders making the scene approaching the Seattle Grace employee's completely normal and giving them no reason to doubt Callie's facade she was so desperate to keep. But the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that washed over her as Owen and Christina became conjoined again almost made her think that she didn't care about pretending anymore.

Can't we be single in pairs?

She'd once suggested it to Mark. It had been on a stormy night when Callie found herself on his couch and they were both sitting curled up against each other listening to the torrent of rain outside. Mark had grinned at her logic when she had pronounced that it was so much easier to be single in pairs and heartily agreed with her. The fact that he had then poured her and himself another tequila may have had something to do with their pledge to never leave each other but it had still been made. But now...now she was back to being alone. As she looked to Lexie and took in her almost sickening happiness she realised she hadn't felt this alone since she'd befriended Mark. Since she'd broken up with George. Since she'd been cheated on and since Mark Sloan had saved her.

Before I had you in my heart

Who would save her now? She didn't want to go back to being her old self. Alone. She didn't even know how to be that person anymore. Mark had somehow managed to creep into her life and slowly break down her walls and had sneakily convinced her to trust him and it had only been in the past week or so she realised how much she depended on him. She loved him. Even if it wasn't in an I want to spend the rest of my life with you way she certainly, most definitely, irrevocably loved Mark Sloan. And now he was leaving.

Where was I when you weren't by my side?

He was leaving with Lexie and taking her best friend away. Her partner in crime. Her confidant, her ex lover and the only person she could say anything to ever. He'd made her strong. When she was with him she felt free, she felt alive and she felt loved. He was her family. When she didn't have him next to her she had felt so broken. Sure, George had a colossal part in that but it was Mark who made her realise that she was more than she had ever given herself credit for. When Mark was with her she felt like she could do anything and she could be anyone.

Lonely and lost in the dark

Before him, before Mark Sloan had weaved his way into her life she had been so lonely. She had lost everything and he was the one that had built her back up and put her back together. She'd lost her marriage, her confidence, her worth, her baby; she'd lost her promotion and her family all at once not to mention her respect at the hospital and every shred of her dignity. Her disastrous marriage had left her in pieces and with no glue or tape to haphazardly attempt to stick herself back together. What on earth would she do without him? She wasn't sure she knew how to live without her best friend. She hadn't realised how much he had become to her. How much she took him and his friendship for granted.

Now it's the hardest thing I'll ever know

Almost as if he had sensed her coming before she knew it Mark had looked up and met her eyes his eyes brightening and his grin widening as he spotted her. She then watched his brow furrow and his smile falter when he took in her expression. She fought with the tears that were flooding her eyes and pleaded with herself to keep her face calm and composed. After a couple of seconds she painted a bright smile onto her lips and forced herself to grin back at her friend and his obvious excitement. She watched him relax and gesture her to hurry her ass the hell up, as Mark would say.

Learning to let you go
She didn't know how she would do it, but she did know that she would have to. Her eyes settled on Lexie again as she walked by Christina's side who was still tucked under Owen's arm. She'd never seen the woman so happy and glancing at Mark again she took in his genuine happiness. There was no way in hell she would ever do anything to risk his happiness. She wanted his him to be happy more than anyone and anything in the world. He so much deserved it. As he met her half way and she dived into his arms she knew that she would let him go, let him walk out of the airport onto the tarmac and onto a place and out of her life. She would deal with the rest later.

She took in his familiar scent for the last time for a long time, the comfort she took from being in his arms, the warmth and everything else she knew she would miss until she saw him again. She had no idea when that would be. The two stood there silently wrapped in each other's arms knowing that things were about to change drastically between them and not really knowing how to deal with it.

She pushed him back and untangled herself from his strong arms as she felt her eyes once again well up to a dangerous point of potential downpour and held him at arm's length forcing a smile she knew he could have seen through with his eyes closed,

"Ready old man?" He rolled his eyes and goosed her in the side making her laugh and revelling in the sound he would miss so much.

Originally this story was going to be a short little one chapter thing ...but then I started writing and it kept coming Oh well...

What do you guys think..it's only the first verse so far.

Lyrics and characters not mine obviously, instead they belong to Sara Ramirez and Shonda Rhimes :) Thank you for reading guys.