Jasper and the Log

Bella POV

I woke to the usual foreboding of the day, that right there told me that nothing would happen today I just knew it, I didn't feel any different not in the slightest so it will be another lonely day with the CD collection – the deep joy.

I dragged my self to the bathroom to brush my teeth and prepared to get ready for the day ahead, my hair had dried over night into slight waves that framed my face in a new and nice way, I decided not to tame these unruly curls today – time for a change maybe? I applied a small amount of tinted moisturiser, mascara and clear lip gloss I wasn't one to be out going with my make up. I dressed in a pair of light stone washed jeans and a black tank top with just a deep purple zip up cardigan jacket. Once satisfied with my oh so casual look I plodded down the stairs in search of other life forms – I found a note to say that they had all gone out for a picnic and that they had tried to wake me up but were greeted by a pillow being thrown at them and a half asleep me shouting "Its not half 10 yet leave me alone" I smiled at my silly rule. Ever since I can remember when I have a day off I have hated being woken up before half 10, my family and friends thought it was funny until they rang me or tried to wake me up and got me in full fury mode. Since then there have been very few incidents, the thought made me smile again. Sighing I pushed my self into the living room to put on Lost prophets Liberation Transmission, I have a system when it comes to listening to music, if I am in the mood I would just sit and to listen to music, but firstly I would sit and stare at the CD collection until something yells "PLAY ME!". I also have different music to go with all my moods – the thought stopped me in my tracks, Edward, he had broken my beloved Ipod which I still didn't have a replacement for - dang it. Plus he said he would share what he had learnt. Now I turned the volume up full not wanting to be alone with my thoughts any longer.

I wondered around the house with no real purpose; listening and singing at the top of my lungs for quite some time – the entire album to be precise, I was mid stride back to the living room to choose another CD when I heard a swift knock at the door. My heart lurched; I knew it had to be Edward, only a vampire can be so ninja stealthy on those creaky steps to the door. I all but ran to the door but I stopped short at the door handle, something in the pit of my stomach told me this wasn't Edward and I was unsure if I wanted to open the door anymore. Then a voice spoke to me:

"Its ok you know I'm not going to eat you, well unless you keep me waiting out here like an idiot any longer" the southern voice chuckled, my spirits lifted I don't know why but I felt drawn to Jasper too, he was kind natured and seemed so shy and brotherly. I flung the door open beaming one of the biggest smiles I have ever given to him.

"Hi" I breathed almost breathlessly

"I believe that you are ready" he chuckled at what I'm guessing was at his attempt at being cryptic that and his wiggling eye brows kind of gave him away.

"About time" I grabbed my bag, scarf and jacket without a further word from either of us and locked the house up. "So Jasper where to? To see Dracula by chance" it was my turn to chuckle now

"Alice thought that maybe the whole 'Vampire' conversation might not be so intense if I did it rather than Edward, he can be...well….over dramatic at the best of times. Just don't tell him I said that" we walked down several roads, neither really paying attention to where we were going.

"I'm sure he will know any way" I said tapping my head

"Oh so you know about that then" he looked at me puzzlingly

"Yea I do, I'm not sure how though" I was puzzled and trying to think when Jasper broke my concentration

"What do you mean?"

"It's weird, I carnt explain it, I've learnt a lot from Sofia and the journals, but lately it's like my memory of seeing and hearing is fading. The information is still there but it doesn't come willingly you know? Almost like something triggers a memory and things make a little bit more sense – not much mind you" I stated in a very matter of fact manner, worried about what this meant.

"Maybe it's a safeguard? So you don't learn too much too soon, so you only remember what you need to remember? Don't worry Bella, we will figure it all out" I felt suddenly calm and relaxed, I glared at Jasper accusingly, suspicious of the reasons behind my new state of mind

"Awwww man do you have to mess with me like that, it's totally unfair!" I whined at him, thinking I had really lost the plot why was I accusing him of such things, somewhere a memory stirred.

He just smiled at me and carried on walking. "And why prey tell do you accuse me of such foul play?"

I was stumped "Erm I don't know just you being all 'Ohh don't worry Bella' and then BAM all of a sudden I'm not worried. It kinda makes a gal suspicious. I've got a memory banging to be let out I just know it" I flashed him a big smile/

He chuckled in response to me "You're quite perceptive you know that"

It was my turn to laugh now; well really it was more like a snort "More like paranoid, Alex used to say that to me all the time when I got a feeling you know. I just have good intuition I guess. Although I kinda remember Edward's journals saying some of you were gifted though they never stated what you were gifted with though – which would have been helpful" I shrugged and laughed softly not really wanting to remember those times, unfortunately Jasper had other plans.

"How about you tell me about this Alex creature and in return I will tell you a few family secrets" his eyebrows wiggled up and down again and he twiddled what I assumed to be a fake moustache. I had to laugh at him; he didn't seem the type to mess around like that.

"Ok so what do you want to know? Or do you just want me to start at the beginning?" His look said it all "Beginning it is then" I sucked in a huge breathe, I didn't want to speak about Alex, I had spent a lot of time working passed it but Jasper made me feel comfortable and well I would prefer to talk to him about this stuff than Edward – that would just be a barrel of laughs.

"Well it was your usual romance, I had worked with him for a few years but never agreed to go out with him but then on one rebellious night I decided what the hell, and well I've regretted it ever since. At first it was ok but then there were some money problems which I stupidly bailed him out of. Then life went along just fine just with the average arguments – too much beer, leaving me at home alone all the time or having his friends around constantly and when we were actually alone, he would sit at one end of the sofa and not speak to me." I sighed heavily and sat on a fallen log, wondering how on earth had I not seen this coming? Was I so blind or was it just the need to be loved and wanted that stopped me all this time from leaving the idiot.

"Go on" his words were simple, but the emotion behind them were any thing but, I could feel them, so many to even begin to decipher but importantly I felt safe enough to continue, no one had ever really asked me about it so no one had ever really known how I felt.

"I just became stuck, my family never visited, they seemed to forget that I even existed and when I did ring them you could hear that they were bored of listening to me even after the first sentence. Alex even though he never emotionally showed it was actually physically there at the end of the day, I had someone to hold when I went to sleep and the bad dreams would come for me. I guess in the end that's what kept me there so long – I needed to keep the bad dreams away"

Jaspers face looked pained, I instantly grabbed his hand to see if he was ok "You spend too much time worrying about others you know that" he laughed slightly but I could tell his heart wasn't in it.

"I'm sorry Jasper I don't know where that came from, I've never spoken to any one about how I felt before, all my parents thought was the idiot had blown all our savings and I had decided that it was enough" my eyes were downcast as the memories swept me away.

"What I want to know was how the hell you coped in that hell hole"

"Hey! My house was not a hell hole – I loved that house, it felt all homely for a while anyway" I lightly tapped him on the shoulder as if to scorn him for his words, knowing that actually hitting him would do far more damage to me than him.

We were quite for a while before I decided to speak, almost in a whisper I told him me deepest secrets and thoughts " You know I used to walk to work every day looking up at the sky wishing something extraordinary would happen, that I would find a place where I actually belonged. I thought about leaving so many times but never had the courage, I'm a planner, I need to have all eventualities mapped out and every possible contingency plan ready..."

Jasper burst in mid sentence "I would love to have you with me in battle" he stopped short of finishing seeing my raised eyebrow possibly questioning his sanity. Actually could vampires go insane hmmm, I shook my head leaving that thought for later.

"Sorry, me and Emmett play War a lot. Surprisingly he wins most of the time" he muttered sheepishly

"Do I even want to know" I asked he shook his head and said he would explain later " Well any way before I was rudely interrupted" he glared in his direction with a slight smile on my face which he eagerly returned " I kept making excuses for my self which was why I wished so hard that something life changing would happen, I hoped so hard that there was more to my life than a door mat, I spent years lost in books, reading every one else's adventures and happy endings I always wondered where mine was, had I done something so that I would never have the happily ever after?"

"And then all this happened to you" I nodded dully knowing his next words "You know vampires aren't exactly known for their happily ever after Bella"

"I know that Jasper, but Sofia she said she had waited so long for me to show up, that well its kind of hard not to think that I am either going to get an adventure or a happily ever after – either is fine by me" Sofia and I had had many conversations before she had stopped appearing, she wouldn't ever give anything away she repeated her self non stop – you're the only one Bella, save him Bella, help him bla bla bla. That was all very well and good but how do you begin to formulate a plan of action on cryptic non helping from other worldly creatures? You don't that's how. Jasper was staring at me now intently; I shifted in my makeshift seat.

"Would you please calm down" he let out an unnecessary breathe, I remained quite not knowing really what to say anymore, I had just divulged information that I had not shared with anyone else before in my life, it left me feeling a little bit exposed and the lack of control was crippling. "Would you like to know all about the family then? I will even give you some tips to help you out with Captain Forehead" my eyes narrowed who was he talking about Captain Forehead? "Sorry that's one of our nicknames for Edward, well really Emmett came up with it after watching Angel – he loves that show, and apparently Edward likes to mope a lot in dark corners just like this Angel guy; hence the nickname" it was his turn to shrug now unsure of the precise reasons behind Emmett's new nickname.

Several hours and a lot of information later I was standing on my porch again saying goodnight to Jasper, he informed me that Alice would be other in the morning at 11 as she had muttered something about refusing to deal with me before that time. I went silently up to bed, avoiding my family not wanting to be questioned about my day; what could I say really nothing would do it justice.

Thanks for being so patient with my lack of updating!! Please review the story is going to get a lot more interesting in the coming chapters!!!

Crystal Bells

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