Pregnant….the word echoed in her ears as she drove back to the newsroom. How could this have happened? She thought, I had been so careful, so sure it wouldn't happen if I took the pill. How am I going to tell Lou? How can I expect him to commit to me and our child at this point in our relationship? Wait a minute, she thought again, we both did this and why should be any less responsible? But the sad reality was, she was unmarried and pregnant and men do walk away sometimes. He was 11 years her senior and had three daughters who were grown. Would he really want to deal with a baby? The bigger question was, did she? Of course I do, she answered her own question, not having it is not an option, I'll do it, even if it is by myself. But she would have to tell him tonight. She couldn't put it off.
The rest of the afternoon seemed to move in slow motion and she felt like she was just sitting watching everything go on around her. Murray had asked her what the doctor said and she lied and said it was just a flu bug. Even Ted showed uncharacteristic concern. She stopped by the grocery and picked up dinner for her and Lou. She wasn't feeling as nauseous but was still very fatigued. The casserole was baking when Lou walked in. She was standing at the stove with her back to him.
He hung up his coat and walked into the kitchen to properly greet her, "Hello there," he said coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around waist, he kissed the back of her neck.
She tried to appear relaxed when she turned around, "Hello yourself, dinner will be ready soon." She forced a smile and he kissed her.
"Mmm, smells good, so are you feeling any better?" he asked moving out of her way as she checked the oven.
She took out the casserole and sat it on the counter, "Oh uh, a little. Would you get the glasses, darling?"
He walked over to the cabinet and retrieved two wine glasses and sat them on the table, "So what does the doctor think it is? You're not contagious are you?"
Mary smiled, "Well, no, not exactly. Don't worry." She put a serving of the casserole on each plate along with a salad and put them on the table.
"Good, I hate it when you feel bad. I'll get the wine." He walked over to her refrigerator and got out a bottle of white wine.
Mary sat down at the table as he poured the wine in the glasses, "So how was your day?"
Lou took his seat and put his napkin in his lap, "The usual. I had to put the kibosh on a story one of my reporters wanted to do. It's kind of unfortunate because the guy has a lot of talent but the story was just too controversial. It wouldn't have been worth the heat we would have taken."
"Well I supposed times have changed but not that much." She said taking a bite and forcing it down.
"Mmm, that's true." He took a drink of wine to wash down his food.
Mary was silent for a moment, "How is the casserole?"
"It's delicious as always. Why don't you let me clean up so you can rest?"
Mary put her hand on his, "Thank you. That would be great."
After dinner Mary went to lie down in her room while Lou cleared the table and washed the dishes. She couldn't sleep; all she could do was think about how to tell Lou that she was pregnant. Even though she had known him for over ten years she felt like she had no idea how he would feel about this. She put her hands on her stomach wondering about the life that was growing inside her. It did make her smile to think about being a mother. She thought she would be a good one and if Lou wanted this baby she knew he would be a wonderful father. A knock on the door startled her.
Lou poked his head in, "How are you feeling?"
She sat up in bed, "Oh okay. Um, can we talk?"
He walked into the room and sat on the end of the bed, "Sure."
She took a deep breath, "Well I don't know how to say this except to just say it straight out, okay?"
A look of concern came over Lou's face, "Okay."
"I'm pregnant." She managed.
"You're …you mean we." he was unable to find his words.
"Yes, the doctor said about eight weeks. So it appears it happened when we went away for the weekend." She couldn't read him, "Are you okay?"
He stood up and walked over to the window and looked out, "I…I don't know. I think I need to take a walk or something I'm not sure how I'm feeling."
Mary held back her tears, "Alright, if you think you need to do that. Are you coming back tonight?"
He turned to face her, "I don't know…I just don't know." He walked out of the room and as he reached her front door he could her crying.