Here are Jasper's thoughts and feelings on all things Bella related. I have to say that it was odd writing from Jasper's point of view having to think what it would be like to have to deal with others emotions all the time – must be exhausting!

Heart to Undead heart:
Jasper P.O.V

Her emotions were like a force of nature; they happened quickly and left a devastating trail in their wake. I had hoped to have some time to figure out what exactly I needed to say to her but this new round of grief and pure despair rocked me to my core and I knew that my time for thinking was over and that I needed to say something before it became unbearable not just for me or her but for Edward as well. He couldn't read Bella's mind but he could read mine, which meant he had a constant up date of her feelings, they were hurting him too – he began feeling guilty every time he would find out she was upset. My only guess was that he thought he was somehow to blame, not that he would ever confirm that to me.

We rushed out of the house whilst I mentally filled Edward in on my plan and a promise to try to help Bella, once we were in the car I could sense that she was nervous. Every few seconds she would glance at me a swirl of curiousness and caution mixed together in a blend I rarely experience. My hands tightened onto the steering wheel as I tried to rein in my own emotions. I tried to speak I truly did but my mouth would open and words failed to come out, eventually Bella snapped.

"Oh common Jasper spit it out already, you are driving me nuts! I know you want to talk so talk" her arms folded over her chest, I didn't have to be a mind reader or an empath to know that the body language she was displaying meant she didn't really want to talk. Still words evaded me, it made no sense normally I knew exactly what to say but I just didn't know.

"Fine, pull over here" she huffed and pointed to a stretch of woodland, her seat belt unbuckled and door open before the engine had even shut off properly. She marched into the woodland only for her to pop her head around a tree a second later asking if I was bothering to join her today or not. I laughed shaking my head before I rushed to her all within 2 seconds of her saying anything.

We walked for some time in a comfortable silence until Bella found the place she felt was appropriate. Throwing her things to the floor she sat on her jacket and patted the earth beside her "park it" she said before taking in a shaky breathe,

We sat for a few minutes before she had the courage to ask me what I had on my mind. "Bella you know I have the gift to sense people's emotions do you not?"

"Well yes Sofia and Edward both mentioned it – in their own ways..." she drifted off the feeling of bemusement rolling off of her.

"Then you know full well that I have been getting a front row seat to your pity party these last few days" a small nod indicated that she had known.

"Then Bella tell me what is it, why do you feel the things you feel? You go from utter happiness to perfect despair within milliseconds. You have Edward worried, hell you have the whole family concerned" a small smile spread across her lips.

"You swore" a small chuckle released itself "I've never heard you swear before it seems so out of place yet freeing at the same time" my face must have given away that I clearly did not understand what she meant. "What I mean is for you to be so out of character, kind of makes things easier, sometimes you can be so serious Jasper you know that" she shoulder barged me - as if it would have any impact but the sentiment was not lost on me. She treated me like she would do one of her brothers. Then a thought hit me –

"That's what this is about isn't it?" it was my turn to get the confused look

"Sorry I had half a conversation in my head and half out loud - a by product of living with Edward for so long. What I meant was this is all about your family. Your human family" her sudden rush of feelings told me I was right.

"What is it exactly Bella, tell me so I can try to help please? It hurts to know that my little sister is in so much pain." I could feel myself trembaling from the raw unadulatrated feelings she was letting loose.

"That's the problem Jasper; you all feel more like my family more so than my 'human' family does. For the longest time I felt lost and alone even in a room full of people. Then Sofia kept appearing and I felt needed like there was more to my life than this dreary existence – and then there was you guys who have all made me feel a little more whole" she sighed and turned to face me before continuing, I gave her a little nudge but sending out some confidence "thanks" a deep breath "it feels like I was never really theirs, like I was in a holding room until my life could actually begin. Do you know how awful that is? To think that of your own family, the people who have tried to be there for you no matter what and what do I go and do huh I disappear for days on end with a text here and there to let them know I'm ok."

The feelings were too much, overbearing would be too kind a term for the black pit of despair Bella was hurtling towards. I grabbed her hands making sure as not to hurt her. "Now you listen to me, your family love you and all they want is for you to be happy. And from the visions Alice has had I think it is a well rounded conclusion that they know that you are" A little bit of the cloud brightened with these words and I knew I was on the right track, by showing her that her family were happy with her choices then she would begin to hopefully feel better about her future decisions. "I know what you have decided Alice has confided in me – but don't worry Edward will never find out from me I swear – I've gotten rather good at hiding things from him as long as he doesn't delve too deep into my mind he won't know."

"I feel awful for my decision. NO that came out wrong let me start again – when I made my decision to become a full member of your family I was ecstatic, two thousand percent overjoyed but then I thought about the ones I would be leaving. I can't leave with them thinking I died Jasper I just can't there has to be another way – a better way" her desperation was shining through, I saw with a new found clarity that her guilt was not so much about her leaving her family but how she would leave them.

"I promise to you that I will do everything in my power to convince our family that the best way for all is for the humans to think that you are alive and happy. We will not condemn them to the misery of losing a loved one. You have my word Bella as your brother for eternity" with that she sank into my side and sobbed, letting out the pent up emotions that she had meant to stay hidden.

"Do you want to go home now?" I asked after a while. She sniffled and looked into my eyes before answering me.

"No take me back to Edward that's where my home is" her feelings solidified now, no longer wavering or on the brink of another storm, they were peaceful - finally she was able to be content with her life now that a solution had been found, her guilt was all but absolved. Inside I knew that this was just the first of many battles she would have with herself regarding her future but for now I saw no reason to spoil her happiness.